---
title: "47 Romance-funny Quotes by 38 authors"
description: "Browse 47 Romance-funny quotes by 38 authors. Discover the best Romance-funny sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6a/j-leigh-hunter-244587_beholder_the-hotness-of-a-sex-scene-lies-in-the-l_659493.jpg"
---

> [“The hotness of a sex scene lies in the loins of the beholder.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-leigh-hunter/the-hotness-of-a-sex-scene-lies-in-the-loins-of-the-beholder/)

[J.Leigh Hunter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-leigh-hunter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6a/j-leigh-hunter-244587_beholder_the-hotness-of-a-sex-scene-lies-in-the-l_659493.jpg)

> [“Well, get up and kiss her, you idiot!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-hodnett/well-get-up-and-kiss-her-you-idiot/)

[Brenda Hodnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-hodnett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bb/brenda-hodnett-28180_romance-funny_well-get-up-and-kiss-her-you-idiot-21943_2194339.jpg)

> [“Is it okay to kiss you?” he asks. “What?” “I won’t get struck by lightning?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynthia-hand/is-it-okay-to-kiss-you-he-asks-what-i-won-t-get-struck-by-lightning/)

[Cynthia Hand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cynthia-hand/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7af/cynthia-hand-1176_asks_is-it-okay-to-kiss-you-he-asks-what-i-wo_1177756.png)

> [“You've been staring at her for a solid five minutes. Get a grip.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-hodnett/you-ve-been-staring-at-her-for-a-solid-five-minutes-get-a-grip/)

[Brenda Hodnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-hodnett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d81/brenda-hodnett-28180_romance_you-ve-been-staring-at-her-for-a-solid-f_1617202.jpg)

> [“The Dictionary defines Soul Mate as: A person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament. Before I met mine, I didn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-hauenstein/the-dictionary-defines-soul-mate-as-a-person-who-is-perfectly-suited/)

[James Hauenstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-hauenstein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c20/james-hauenstein-40159_attraction_the-dictionary-defines-soul-mate-as-a-pe_2319688.jpg)

> [“Kyle, you are a mellow dude...You can’t be with an agitator. And that’s what she is. An agitator. She’s a Jackson Pollock…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/genevieve-dewey/kyle-you-are-a-mellow-dude-you-can-t-be-with-an-agitator-and-that-s/)

[Genevieve Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/genevieve-dewey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2fb/genevieve-dewey-20743_artist_kyle-you-are-a-mellow-dude-you-can-t-be_2821363.jpg)

> [“All pomp and show.” Anjali’s glare at the house would’ve exploded bricks if she’d had superhuman powers. “A fat cow needs a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicola-marsh/all-pomp-and-show-anjali-s-glare-at-the-house-would-ve-exploded/)

[Nicola Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicola-marsh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc8/nicola-marsh-61010_contemporary-romance_all-pomp-and-show-anjali-s-glare-at-the_306507.jpg)

> [“Agent Julianne was always looking for ways to spin things. She would have been better off owning a laundromat.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonas-eriksson/agent-julianne-was-always-looking-for-ways-to-spin-things-she-would/)

[Jonas Eriksson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonas-eriksson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f7/jonas-eriksson-24493_celebrity-culture_agent-julianne-was-always-looking-for-wa_3189939.png)

> [“Maybe I shouldn't scare off my date so quickly by shooting guns and telling stories about vomit, but, hey, the sooner he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vicki-lesage/maybe-i-shouldn-t-scare-off-my-date-so-quickly-by-shooting-guns-and/)

[Vicki Lesage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vicki-lesage/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94b/vicki-lesage-54333_date_maybe-i-shouldn-t-scare-off-my-date-so-q_633096.jpg)

> [“You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samantha-stroh-bailey/you-know-what-love-means-it-means-loving-the-person-you-are-now-and/)

[Samantha Stroh Bailey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samantha-stroh-bailey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f9/samantha-stroh-bailey-275771_chick-lit_you-know-what-love-means-it-means-loving_2996380.jpg)

> [“Life Is Too Short--So Kiss Slowly, Laugh Insanely, Love Truly, And Live With Passion.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-vogt/life-is-too-short-so-kiss-slowly-laugh-insanely-love-truly-and-live/)

[Andy Vogt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-vogt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ef/andy-vogt-193282_e-books_life-is-too-short-so-kiss-slowly-laugh-i_476933.jpg)

> [“The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-e-poynor/the-important-thing-for-any-writer-to-remember-is-to-take-the-writing/)

[A.E. Poynor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-e-poynor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/218/a-e-poynor-215643_adventure_the-important-thing-for-any-writer-to-re_904601.jpg)

> [“He smiled and scrawled something at the bottom of the answer sheet. The solution now read: Find X if (X)=2sin3X, over the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-adornetto/he-smiled-and-scrawled-something-at-the-bottom-of-the-answer-sheet/)

[Alexandra Adornetto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-adornetto/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3db/alexandra-adornetto-2594_end-result_he-smiled-and-scrawled-something-at-the_234177.png)

> [“Did I mention how cute you look in my clothes?" Blushing I just look at what I'm wearing and laugh. "Chicks Dig…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-daniell/did-i-mention-how-cute-you-look-in-my-clothes-blushing-i-just-look-at/)

[Sara Daniell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-daniell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecc/sara-daniell-68288_humor_did-i-mention-how-cute-you-look-in-my-cl_3183459.jpg)

> [“ Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song! When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-c-lavocat/dude-get-a-fucking-grip-it-s-just-a-song-when-had-i-turned-into-a-5/)

[M.C. Lavocat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-c-lavocat/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e6/m-c-lavocat-80078_adult-humor_dude-get-a-fucking-grip-it-s-just-a-song_596779.jpg)

> [“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robyn-peterman/he-shifted-his-attention-back-to-me-and-leaned-in-closer-i-told-you/)

[Robyn Peterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robyn-peterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/899/robyn-peterman-19164_contemporary-romance_he-shifted-his-attention-back-to-me-and_428347.jpg)

> [“Alarmed and bordering on terrified, Frankie reached for the closest thing she could find that might work as a weapon – which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerri-thomson/alarmed-and-bordering-on-terrified-frankie-reached-for-the-closest/)

[Kerri Thomson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerri-thomson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/kerri-thomson-97265_mystery_alarmed-and-bordering-on-terrified-frank_2095154.jpg)

> [“You thought I didn’t notice the way you two looked at each other? I may be old but I’m not blind. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicola-marsh/you-thought-i-didn-t-notice-the-way-you-two-looked-at-each-other-i/)

[Nicola Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicola-marsh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f0/nicola-marsh-61010_contemporary-romance_you-thought-i-didn-t-notice-the-way-you_2583137.jpg)

> [“Trust me, my parents have about as much impulse control as I do. If they didn't like you, you'd know. Hell, you'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-london/trust-me-my-parents-have-about-as-much-impulse-control-as-i-do-if/)

[Billy London](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-london/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e4/billy-london-104844_impulse-control_trust-me-my-parents-have-about-as-much-i_1733916.jpg)

> [And I would stop and take you in, all of you, and when our eyes lock we'd just stare into each other's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morgan-parker/and-i-would-stop-and-take-you-in-all-of-you-and-when-our-eyes-lock-we/)

[Morgan Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/morgan-parker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa8/morgan-parker-6193_bigs_and-i-would-stop-and-take-you-in-all-of_1449814.jpg)

> [“This was now officially the most inane conversation in which Griff had ever been a participant—and that included a drunken debate with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tessa-dare/this-was-now-officially-the-most-inane-conversation-in-which-griff/)

[Tessa Dare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tessa-dare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ccd/tessa-dare-564_communication_this-was-now-officially-the-most-inane-c_1069407.png)

> [“I can't help it, I run up to him and put my arms around him. Shocked he pulls away, just a little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-daniell/i-can-t-help-it-i-run-up-to-him-and-put-my-arms-around-him-shocked-he/)

[Sara Daniell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-daniell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/sara-daniell-68288_romance-funny_i-can-t-help-it-i-run-up-to-him-and-put_1659301.jpg)

> [“Late twenties, single, female. Do the math. Flirty flings were fabulous until you hit the big three-O, all downhill from there. Biological…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicola-marsh/late-twenties-single-female-do-the-math-flirty-flings-were-fabulous/)

[Nicola Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicola-marsh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/00c/nicola-marsh-61010_biological-clock_late-twenties-single-female-do-the-math_2925511.jpg)

> [“Charlotte!" Denbigh roared. "What are you doing in my bedroom, and why didn't you knock?" "I brought the doctor," she said with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-johnston/charlotte-denbigh-roared-what-are-you-doing-in-my-bedroom-and-why/)

[Joan Johnston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-johnston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c90/joan-johnston-21901_romance-funny_charlotte-denbigh-roared-what-are-you-do_2383775.png)

> [“There's a reason why most men don't read romance: Romance novels are wish-fulfillment for women. The fictitious men in romance novels fall…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/there-s-a-reason-why-most-men-don-t-read-romance-romance-novels-are/)

[Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/408/oliver-markus-malloy-6767_books_there-s-a-reason-why-most-men-don-t-read_349850.jpg)

> [“I have to console myself with the hope that I'd seen Isabeau soften, even hesitate, as if she might actually have taken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyxandra-harvey/i-have-to-console-myself-with-the-hope-that-i-d-seen-isabeau-soften/)

[Alyxandra Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyxandra-harvey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/alyxandra-harvey-2722_hope_i-have-to-console-myself-with-the-hope-t_166699.jpg)

> [“Hell if I know. I’m twenty-six, single, just signed a year lease on an apartment…” She touched her eyebrows with her fingertips.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-castro/hell-if-i-know-i-m-twenty-six-single-just-signed-a-year-lease-on-an/)

[Nicole Castro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-castro/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b85/nicole-castro-50099_amazon-kindle_hell-if-i-know-i-m-twenty-six-single-jus_2792278.jpg)

> [“Yes, I just…” Should I be honest and sound like a complete loser? Oh why the hell not? “I have not had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-castro/yes-i-just-should-i-be-honest-and-sound-like-a-complete-loser-oh-why/)

[Nicole Castro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-castro/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49a/nicole-castro-50099_amazon-kindle_yes-i-just-should-i-be-honest-and-sound_132280.jpg)

> [“Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lilly-avalon/did-you-want-to-change-into-something-more-comfortable-adrian-asks/)

[Lilly Avalon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lilly-avalon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bf/lilly-avalon-74339_fitness_did-you-want-to-change-into-something-mo_887266.jpg)

> [“I don't trust you to go alone," Charlotte said. "You'll end up getting killed in a duel with Braddock." "If I do,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-johnston/i-don-t-trust-you-to-go-alone-charlotte-said-you-ll-end-up-getting/)

[Joan Johnston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-johnston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d0/joan-johnston-21901_romance-funny_i-don-t-trust-you-to-go-alone-charlotte_1180352.png)

> [“Kate giggled. “Excellent choice.” “I always make excellent choices.” “I don’t know about that.” “Of course I do. I picked ye, didn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/whitney-k-e/kate-giggled-excellent-choice-i-always-make-excellent-choices-i-don-t/)

[Whitney K-E](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/whitney-k-e/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c48/whitney-k-e-79909_irish_kate-giggled-excellent-choice-i-always-m_1662023.jpg)

> [“I shook my head back and forth as though I was a human etch-a-sketch, erasing the memory.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-gulla/i-shook-my-head-back-and-forth-as-though-i-was-a-human-etch-a-sketch/)

[Nicole Gulla](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-gulla/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/117/nicole-gulla-10517_fiction-fantasy_i-shook-my-head-back-and-forth-as-though_2027125.jpg)

> [“I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, “Morning breath!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-aragon/i-threw-my-hand-over-my-mouth-and-blurted-out-the-first-best-excuse-i/)

[Melissa Aragon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-aragon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/39a/melissa-aragon-57637_humorous_i-threw-my-hand-over-my-mouth-and-blurte_2352001.jpg)

> [“Women were tricky creatures under the best of circumstances. This was not the best of circumstances.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/genevieve-dewey/women-were-tricky-creatures-under-the-best-of-circumstances-this-was/)

[Genevieve Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/genevieve-dewey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d9/genevieve-dewey-20743_circumstances_women-were-tricky-creatures-under-the-be_3223787.jpg)

> [“I swear, when that woman dies, she'll be deader than everybody else.~Pattiecake from Laid Out and Candle Lit”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-everett/i-swear-when-that-woman-dies-she-ll-be-deader-than-everybody-else/)

[Ann Everett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-everett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/498/ann-everett-78387_dies_i-swear-when-that-woman-dies-she-ll-be-d_50361.jpg)

> [“I cook for Daphne's second and third boyfriends all the time. It's okay with me as long as I'm the first.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brenda-hodnett/i-cook-for-daphne-s-second-and-third-boyfriends-all-the-time-it-s/)

[Brenda Hodnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brenda-hodnett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ad/brenda-hodnett-28180_boyfriends_i-cook-for-daphne-s-second-and-third-boy_847521.jpg)

> [“She wore a fitted white scoop neck shirt under a thin jacket, slim brown pants and tennis shoes. He bet she looked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tami-lund/she-wore-a-fitted-white-scoop-neck-shirt-under-a-thin-jacket-slim/)

[Tami Lund](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tami-lund/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be1/tami-lund-55686_playboy_she-wore-a-fitted-white-scoop-neck-shirt_446017.jpg)

> [“The fact that she made this beeline for me both warmed my soul and made me want to turn around, walk out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lia-habel/the-fact-that-she-made-this-beeline-for-me-both-warmed-my-soul-and/)

[Lia Habel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lia-habel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d88/lia-habel-3222_humor_the-fact-that-she-made-this-beeline-for_1274928.jpg)

> [“Very Nice to meet you all" They all floated in silence as if waiting on something when it dawned on me that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fisher-amelie/very-nice-to-meet-you-all-they-all-floated-in-silence-as-if-waiting/)

[Fisher Amelie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fisher-amelie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbb/fisher-amelie-3261_humor_very-nice-to-meet-you-all-they-all-float_3017257.jpg)

> [“You're not my words, Emma." I said, standing up and staring at the door while pretending to be gazing deep into her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/morgan-parker/you-re-not-my-words-emma-i-said-standing-up-and-staring-at-the-door/)

[Morgan Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/morgan-parker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a2a/morgan-parker-6193_hazel-eyes_you-re-not-my-words-emma-i-said-standing_1150180.jpg)

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                        "text": "“Kyle, you are a mellow dude...You can’t be with an agitator. And that’s what she is. An agitator. She’s a Jackson Pollock and you’re a Thomas Kinkade.”",
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                        "text": "“All pomp and show.” Anjali’s glare at the house would’ve exploded bricks if she’d had superhuman powers. “A fat cow needs a big barn.”",
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                        "text": "“He smiled and scrawled something at the bottom of the answer sheet. The solution now read: Find X if (X)=2sin3X, over the domain -2πX= Beth Stop goofing around! I said. I'm not I'm stating a truth your my solution to everything. Xavier replied. The end result is always you. X always equals Beth.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Did I mention how cute you look in my clothes?\" Blushing I just look at what I'm wearing and laugh. \"Chicks Dig me? And Sponge Bob boxers?\" \"Chicks do dig me! And Sponge Bob is a great cartoon in your world.”",
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                        "text": "“ Dude! Get a fucking grip, it's just a song! When had I turned into a 5-yr-old girl? At the very least, I needed to get my libido under control before the song finished, because I didn’t think that my raging hard-on would be a good icebreaker. Well, figuratively speaking anyway, I thought smugly.”",
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                        "text": "“He shifted his attention back to me and leaned in closer. “I told you to behave. I don’t want to have to arrest you ever again.” “Um . . . okay.” I felt him slide something under my hand. He leaned in even closer, his mouth by my ear, and whispered, “Although I wouldn’t mind handcuffing you.” Oh. My. God.”",
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                        "text": "“Alarmed and bordering on terrified, Frankie reached for the closest thing she could find that might work as a weapon – which in Louise’s house was a curling iron – and tiptoed downstairs to confront the intruder - Chapter One”",
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                        "text": "“You thought I didn’t notice the way you two looked at each other? I may be old but I’m not blind. I remember that feeling. The spark, the electricity... ” I had to interject before I got the unabridged version of Anjali Does Mumbai.”",
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                        "text": "“Trust me, my parents have about as much impulse control as I do. If they didn't like you, you'd know. Hell, you'd have been sitting in the car until I finished eating.”",
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                        "text": "And I would stop and take you in, all of you, and when our eyes lock we'd just stare into each other's souls and all of the lost time would come out in the shape of a big smile, a few tears and a tight hug that feels like...I don't know, it would feel like home.",
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                        "text": "“This was now officially the most inane conversation in which Griff had ever been a participant—and that included a drunken debate with Del over ostrich racing. “The color isn’t too awful?” She twisted a fold of the skirt. “The draper called it ‘dewy petal,’ but your mother said the shade was more of a ‘frosted berry.’ What do you say?” “I’m a man, Simms. Unless we’re discussing nipples, I don’t see the value in these distinctions.”",
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                        "text": "“I can't help it, I run up to him and put my arms around him. Shocked he pulls away, just a little because my arms are still around him and he lifts my head to look at him and kisses me. \"And you've been trying to act like you aren't interested.\" he says while smiling that smile that makes butterflies suddenly appear in multitudes in my stomach.”",
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                        "text": "“Late twenties, single, female. Do the math. Flirty flings were fabulous until you hit the big three-O, all downhill from there. Biological clocks started ticking like time bombs waiting to detonate, gravity exerted more force on your life than your mom, and suddenly, the dog-ugliest creep looked like Jake Gyllenhaal.”",
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                        "text": "“Charlotte!\" Denbigh roared. \"What are you doing in my bedroom, and why didn't you knock?\" \"I brought the doctor,\" she said with asperity. \"A young lady does not enter the bedroom of a gentleman to whom she is not married,\" Denbigh retorted. \"Then what is Olivia doing in here?\" she asked. \"Olivia is my sister.\" \"So?\" \"You are my ward.\" \"So?\" Olivia laughed. \"Oh, Lion, you won't win an argument with Charlotte. Believe me, I've tried.”",
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                            "caption": "“Charlotte!\" Denbigh roared. \"What are you doing in my bedroom, and why didn't you knock?\" \"I brought the…” — Joan Johnston",
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                        "text": "“There's a reason why most men don't read romance: Romance novels are wish-fulfillment for women. The fictitious men in romance novels fall all over themselves trying to please a woman. Does that sound like your real life experience with men? No of course not. (Except for guys who want to fuck you. There is no man more attentive as the guy who wants to fuck you for the first time.) That's why you read romance. To get something you don't get in real life. Because your husband's idea of romance is bringing out the trash and not farting during sex.”",
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                        "text": "“I have to console myself with the hope that I'd seen Isabeau soften, even hesitate, as if she might actually have taken my arm. It was suddenly very easy to picture her in a gown with petticoats and ringlets in her hair and diamonds at her throat. It was just as easy to picture Magda with horns and pitchfork.\" - Logan, page 95”",
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                        "text": "“Hell if I know. I’m twenty-six, single, just signed a year lease on an apartment…” She touched her eyebrows with her fingertips. “Damn, why did I move back here?” “Sorry.” I grimaced. “The job market isn’t as bad as it was. I’d give you a job if you really needed one.” “Thanks. Not sure how good of a bouncer I would be.” “Maybe hair holder for drunk girls.” “Sounds great,” she said flatly then made a gagging sound.”",
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                        "text": "“Yes, I just…” Should I be honest and sound like a complete loser? Oh why the hell not? “I have not had a kiss like that in a while.” I licked my lips. He looked me dead in the eye. “Good.” A wave of silence crashed over us. I didn’t know what to say to that. “Well, I better get going. See you soon?” I nodded dumbly. “Mmm-hmm.” He smiled and began to walk away. I couldn’t just let him go! “Declan!” He turned. “Yes, Cake?” Come on, brain! Think of something! “What should I wear? I mean, what kind of place is Shellshock?” Yes, yes, that was fine… damage averted. “California casual.” “Oh, ok.” I think I knew what that meant. Spend three hours getting ready to make it look like you just threw any-ol’-thing on. “Have a nice night.” He flicked his head my way. “You too.” Then he was gone. And then I was sad. It was ridiculous. Preposterous, even. I was going to have to come clean about the ring- eventually. I hoped he didn’t bring it up because I would probably tell the poor guy my life story to get to why the ring he bought meant so much to me.”",
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                        "text": "“Did you want to change into something more comfortable?” Adrian asks with a raise in his eyebrows, breaking me out of my train of thought, but not away from naughty thoughts. I smack his knee. “I'm comfortable, but I know you're not.” He doesn't mind dressing up, but on most days I see him in casual clothes like screen-printed tees and hoodies. “You're right,” he says, tapping my knee lightly, standing up. As he walks toward the hallway, he slips his shirt off the rest of the way. I can't look away from the sight, even if it is only from the back. Damn. What is happening to me? Have I gone mad? Before I can tear my eyes away from him, he turns around. Judging by the look in his eyes, I've been caught. I have so been caught. Damn again. I didn't want him to see me practically drooling. It's too late for that now. He smirks. “You know, I could spend the rest of the night just like this.” He places a hand to the hard muscles of his chest. I clear my throat, trying really hard not to imagine my hand in place of his, and say, “If I'm wearing clothes, you're wearing clothes.” “So if I'm not wearing clothes...” I grab a coaster from the coffee table and fling it at him. He catches it in his hand. “Just remember, all you have to do is say otherwise.”",
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                        "text": "“I don't trust you to go alone,\" Charlotte said. \"You'll end up getting killed in a duel with Braddock.\" \"If I do, it won't happen before dawn at the least. There are still several hours during which you will have to obey me.\" \"What happens to me if you're killed?\" Charlotte asked. \"Will I be free to do as I wish then?\" \"Remove that bloodthirsty look from your eye, baggage. If anything happens to me, you will be passed along with the furniture and the paintings to the next Earl of Denbigh, whoever he may be.\" Charlotte pursed her lips. \"I think I would prefer to deal with you. At least we have reached a sort of understanding. So, if you please, I would rather you did not let the duke kill you.\" \"I'll do my best to avoid it,\" he assured her.”",
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                        "text": "“Kate giggled. “Excellent choice.” “I always make excellent choices.” “I don’t know about that.” “Of course I do. I picked ye, didn’t I?”",
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