--- title: "23 Right now Quotes By Jarod Kintz" description: "23 Right now quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Right now sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bf/jarod-kintz-2_fish_if-sharks-really-can-smell-blood-then-i_2814066.jpg" --- > [“If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-sharks-really-can-smell-blood-then-i-d-imagine-they-re-all/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bf/jarod-kintz-2_fish_if-sharks-really-can-smell-blood-then-i_2814066.jpg) > [“I’m willing to die for my beliefs, but over the course of a lifetime and not all at once right now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-willing-to-die-for-my-beliefs-but-over-the-course-of-a-lifetime/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57d/jarod-kintz-2_faith_i-m-willing-to-die-for-my-beliefs-but-ov_733614.jpg) > [“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my toppings like I like my women:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/right-now-i-m-naked-like-how-my-pizza-comes-out-of-the-oven-i-like-my/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d86/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_right-now-i-m-naked-like-how-my-pizza-co_1046382.jpg) > [“My body looks the same, but I gained 20 pounds. The difference is that right now I have an erection, and before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-body-looks-the-same-but-i-gained-20-pounds-the-difference-is-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/865/jarod-kintz-2_gained_my-body-looks-the-same-but-i-gained-20-p_2600858.jpg) > [“A brick could be used to raise my spirits. I’m feeling low right now, low by about three inches. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-raise-my-spirits-i-m-feeling-low-right-now/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d42/jarod-kintz-2_feeling-low_a-brick-could-be-used-to-raise-my-spirit_1126000.jpg) > [“I am who I pretend to be, and right now I’m pretending to be my own clone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-am-who-i-pretend-to-be-and-right-now-i-m-pretending-to-be-my-own/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/682/jarod-kintz-2_clone_i-am-who-i-pretend-to-be-and-right-now-i_295042.jpg) > [“Right now I have a milk mustache. I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/right-now-i-have-a-milk-mustache-i-grew-it-on-a-cattle-ranch-and-then/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb5/jarod-kintz-2_hair_right-now-i-have-a-milk-mustache-i-grew_2330350.jpg) > [“The sign on the side of the highway said “Shoulder Work,” and I thought, “I could go for a massage right now.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-sign-on-the-side-of-the-highway-said-shoulder-work-and-i-thought/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd7/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_the-sign-on-the-side-of-the-highway-said_2469219.jpg) > [“I must be pregnant, because I’m craving some strange food. Right now I feel like eating organic, grass-fed cow cud, covered with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-must-be-pregnant-because-i-m-craving-some-strange-food-right-now-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22a/jarod-kintz-2_food_i-must-be-pregnant-because-i-m-craving-s_34442.jpg) > [“I just got circumcised, and to help the homeless, I’m going to make a tent out of my foreskin. But right now…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-just-got-circumcised-and-to-help-the-homeless-i-m-going-to-make-a/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49a/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_i-just-got-circumcised-and-to-help-the-h_1465458.jpg) > [“I have aspirations of becoming the first man to put on a chicken suit, cross the road, and then explain my motives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-have-aspirations-of-becoming-the-first-man-to-put-on-a-chicken-suit/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e0/jarod-kintz-2_dream_i-have-aspirations-of-becoming-the-first_1579877.jpg) > [“Smiling is the way the soul says hello. Obviously a frown means goodbye. Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/smiling-is-the-way-the-soul-says-hello-obviously-a-frown-means/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_smiling-is-the-way-the-soul-says-hello-o_951808.jpg) > [“I was driving on the highway and saw an orange sign on the side of the road that said, “Shoulder Work,” and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-was-driving-on-the-highway-and-saw-an-orange-sign-on-the-side-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa2/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_i-was-driving-on-the-highway-and-saw-an_1795104.jpg) > [“It’s the same with cell phones. I never answer them up to my ear. I always put it on speakerphone and hold…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/it-s-the-same-with-cell-phones-i-never-answer-them-up-to-my-ear-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a18/jarod-kintz-2_cell-phone_it-s-the-same-with-cell-phones-i-never-a_690951.jpg) > [“If liquid courage smelled like cologne and gushed out of my penis, I’d make a better fire fighter than I’m not right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-liquid-courage-smelled-like-cologne-and-gushed-out-of-my-penis-i-d/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91d/jarod-kintz-2_courage_if-liquid-courage-smelled-like-cologne-a_942216.jpg) > [Im at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. Im standing on the board right now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/im-at-the-top-of-my-game-and-that-game-is-monopoly-im-standing-on-the/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b06/jarod-kintz-2_games_im-at-the-top-of-my-game-and-that-game-i_1533269.jpg) > [“I’m at the top of my game. And that game is Monopoly. I’m standing on the board right now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-at-the-top-of-my-game-and-that-game-is-monopoly-i-m-standing-on/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/014/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_i-m-at-the-top-of-my-game-and-that-game_978488.jpg) > [“If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-told-you-i-ve-worked-hard-to-get-where-i-m-at-i-d-be-lying/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7a/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_if-i-told-you-i-ve-worked-hard-to-get-wh_1898006.jpg) > [“If green is envy and blue is depression, then I’m feeling quite turquoise right now. But maybe with a little luck, I’ll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-green-is-envy-and-blue-is-depression-then-i-m-feeling-quite/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed0/jarod-kintz-2_feeling_if-green-is-envy-and-blue-is-depression_2847093.jpg) > [“I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-very-close-to-my-dad-he-s-about-six-inches-away-right-now-and/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f7/jarod-kintz-2_dad_i-m-very-close-to-my-dad-he-s-about-six_1832800.jpg) > [“Right now is the youngest I’ll ever be, so I suppose I’d better act immature while I still can.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/right-now-is-the-youngest-i-ll-ever-be-so-i-suppose-i-d-better-act/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c65/jarod-kintz-2_immature_right-now-is-the-youngest-i-ll-ever-be-s_190863.jpg) > [“I’m too horny tonight to be productive. Right now the only thing I could make is love. And then I wouldn’t be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-too-horny-tonight-to-be-productive-right-now-the-only-thing-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ad/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-m-too-horny-tonight-to-be-productive-r_1550516.jpg) > [“A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-football-could-be-swapped-out-for-a-brick-to-make-family-reunion/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/jarod-kintz-2_ball-game_a-football-could-be-swapped-out-for-a-br_1232304.jpg) ## Other authors on Right now ## More by Jarod Kintz > [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/right-now/jarod-kintz/#itemlist", "name": "23 Right now Quotes By Jarod Kintz", "numberOfItems": 23, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-sharks-really-can-smell-blood-then-i-d-imagine-they-re-all/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bf/jarod-kintz-2_fish_if-sharks-really-can-smell-blood-then-i_2814066.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bf/jarod-kintz-2_fish_if-sharks-really-can-smell-blood-then-i_2814066.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bf/jarod-kintz-2_fish_if-sharks-really-can-smell-blood-then-i_2814066.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now.” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I’m willing to die for my beliefs, but over the course of a lifetime and not all at once right now.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-willing-to-die-for-my-beliefs-but-over-the-course-of-a-lifetime/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57d/jarod-kintz-2_faith_i-m-willing-to-die-for-my-beliefs-but-ov_733614.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57d/jarod-kintz-2_faith_i-m-willing-to-die-for-my-beliefs-but-ov_733614.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57d/jarod-kintz-2_faith_i-m-willing-to-die-for-my-beliefs-but-ov_733614.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I’m willing to die for my beliefs, but over the course of a lifetime and not all at once right now.” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. 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I grew it on a cattle ranch, and then glued it to my face.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/right-now-i-have-a-milk-mustache-i-grew-it-on-a-cattle-ranch-and-then/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb5/jarod-kintz-2_hair_right-now-i-have-a-milk-mustache-i-grew_2330350.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb5/jarod-kintz-2_hair_right-now-i-have-a-milk-mustache-i-grew_2330350.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb5/jarod-kintz-2_hair_right-now-i-have-a-milk-mustache-i-grew_2330350.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Right now I have a milk mustache. 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Right now I feel like eating organic, grass-fed cow cud, covered with a sautéed sauce of impoverished baby vomit.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-must-be-pregnant-because-i-m-craving-some-strange-food-right-now-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22a/jarod-kintz-2_food_i-must-be-pregnant-because-i-m-craving-s_34442.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22a/jarod-kintz-2_food_i-must-be-pregnant-because-i-m-craving-s_34442.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22a/jarod-kintz-2_food_i-must-be-pregnant-because-i-m-craving-s_34442.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I must be pregnant, because I’m craving some strange food. 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But right now I’m offering free coffee if you haven’t got a place to sleep.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-just-got-circumcised-and-to-help-the-homeless-i-m-going-to-make-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49a/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_i-just-got-circumcised-and-to-help-the-h_1465458.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49a/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_i-just-got-circumcised-and-to-help-the-h_1465458.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49a/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_i-just-got-circumcised-and-to-help-the-h_1465458.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I just got circumcised, and to help the homeless, I’m going to make a tent out of my foreskin. 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I guess you could say that right now I am an egg, and my dream is an omelet; I see myself in my dream, yet it is greater and more colorful than even I am.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-have-aspirations-of-becoming-the-first-man-to-put-on-a-chicken-suit/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e0/jarod-kintz-2_dream_i-have-aspirations-of-becoming-the-first_1579877.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e0/jarod-kintz-2_dream_i-have-aspirations-of-becoming-the-first_1579877.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e0/jarod-kintz-2_dream_i-have-aspirations-of-becoming-the-first_1579877.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have aspirations of becoming the first man to put on a chicken suit, cross the road, and then explain my…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Smiling is the way the soul says hello. Obviously a frown means goodbye. Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye? Because that’s what my soul is saying right now.\u2028”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/smiling-is-the-way-the-soul-says-hello-obviously-a-frown-means/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_smiling-is-the-way-the-soul-says-hello-o_951808.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_smiling-is-the-way-the-soul-says-hello-o_951808.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/jarod-kintz-2_right-now_smiling-is-the-way-the-soul-says-hello-o_951808.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Smiling is the way the soul says hello. Obviously a frown means goodbye. 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Right now the only thing I could make is love. And then I wouldn’t be productive, I’d be reproductive.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-too-horny-tonight-to-be-productive-right-now-the-only-thing-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ad/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-m-too-horny-tonight-to-be-productive-r_1550516.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ad/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-m-too-horny-tonight-to-be-productive-r_1550516.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ad/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-m-too-horny-tonight-to-be-productive-r_1550516.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I’m too horny tonight to be productive. Right now the only thing I could make is love. 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But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.\u2028”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-football-could-be-swapped-out-for-a-brick-to-make-family-reunion/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/jarod-kintz-2_ball-game_a-football-could-be-swapped-out-for-a-br_1232304.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/jarod-kintz-2_ball-game_a-football-could-be-swapped-out-for-a-br_1232304.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/jarod-kintz-2_ball-game_a-football-could-be-swapped-out-for-a-br_1232304.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. 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