---
title: "52 Rick Perry Quotes by 24 authors"
description: "Browse 52 Rick Perry quotes by 24 authors. Discover the best Rick Perry sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5d/david-letterman-378_accused_rick-perry-has-now-accused-mitt-romney-o_877196.jpg"
---

> [Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/rick-perry-has-now-accused-mitt-romney-of-hiring-illegal-aliens-to/)

[David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5d/david-letterman-378_accused_rick-perry-has-now-accused-mitt-romney-o_877196.jpg)

> [I've got a head of hair better than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-ve-got-a-head-of-hair-better-than-rick-perry-it-s-just-not-in-a/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/996/kinky-friedman-2471_hair_i-ve-got-a-head-of-hair-better-than-rick_3207559.png)

> [Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/between-ron-paul-and-rick-perry-i-think-the-lesson-is-don-t-get-sick/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93f/bill-maher-211_lessons_between-ron-paul-and-rick-perry-i-think_762850.png)

> [I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/i-have-a-better-head-of-hair-than-rick-perry-it-s-just-not-in-a-place/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bc/kinky-friedman-2471_better_i-have-a-better-head-of-hair-than-rick-p_1261296.png)

> [The case could be made that Rick Perry is the worst debater to ever run for president.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-carville/the-case-could-be-made-that-rick-perry-is-the-worst-debater-to-ever/)

[James Carville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-carville/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/734/james-carville-2521_case_the-case-could-be-made-that-rick-perry-i_2432744.png)

> [Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/remember-i-m-not-running-against-rick-perry-i-m-running-against-apathy/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ef/kinky-friedman-2471_apathy_remember-i-m-not-running-against-rick-pe_2801320.png)

> [Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/rick-perry-has-made-so-many-gaffes-lately-it-is-hard-to-tell-if-he-s/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ede/jay-leno-210_biden_rick-perry-has-made-so-many-gaffes-latel_1439435.png)

> [“My eyes went as crazy as Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry's love-child.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-schweizer/my-eyes-went-as-crazy-as-michelle-bachman-and-rick-perry-s-love-child/)

[Mark Schweizer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-schweizer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/048/mark-schweizer-62362_rick-perry_my-eyes-went-as-crazy-as-michelle-bachma_636616.jpg)

> [I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-trying-to-overcome-this-today-he/)

[Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/701/craig-ferguson-664_excuse_i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-try_2201997.png)

> [Rick Perry is the perfect candidate for those who thought George W. Bush was just too dang cerebral. And Adios, Mofo is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-begala/rick-perry-is-the-perfect-candidate-for-those-who-thought-george-w/)

[Paul Begala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-begala/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e4/paul-begala-13540_candidate_rick-perry-is-the-perfect-candidate-for_3139300.png)

> [Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/texas-governor-rick-perry-has-been-in-the-race-only-three-days-and-he/)

[Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81c/stephen-colbert-503_competition_texas-governor-rick-perry-has-been-in-th_363280.png)

> [USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/usa-today-reports-that-the-number-of-death-row-executions-this-year/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/243/jay-leno-210_attributes_usa-today-reports-that-the-number-of-dea_2594911.png)

> [Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/mitt-romney-said-that-he-liked-to-fire-people-well-there-s-a-pretty/)

[David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/26d/david-letterman-378_america_mitt-romney-said-that-he-liked-to-fire-p_548855.jpg)

> [Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/rick-perry-started-out-like-a-ball-of-fire-from-texas-and-then-he/)

[David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bb/david-letterman-378_adviser_rick-perry-started-out-like-a-ball-of-fi_416778.jpg)

> [ It's not enough to be right because he \[Rick Perry\] is right, you got to be persuasively right, got to be intellectually… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-gutfeld/it-s-not-enough-to-be-right-because-he-rick-perry-is-right-you-got-to/)

[Greg Gutfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-gutfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/557/greg-gutfeld-1129_can-do_it-s-not-enough-to-be-right-because-he-r_3026666.png)

> [It's important for Republicans to nominate someone who not only has a vision of how to create jobs, but who has done…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-graves/it-s-important-for-republicans-to-nominate-someone-who-not-only-has-a/)

[Sam Graves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-graves/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb5/sam-graves-11382_create_it-s-important-for-republicans-to-nomina_1245511.jpg)

> [Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/down-in-texas-rick-perry-announced-he-will-not-run-for-reelection-he/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19b/bill-maher-211_abortion_down-in-texas-rick-perry-announced-he-wi_1103330.png)

> [Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/bronco-rick-perry-is-the-first-candidate-i-ve-ever-heard-say-he-s-not/)

[David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/206/david-letterman-378_broncos_bronco-rick-perry-is-the-first-candidate_2365792.jpg)

> [Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/texas-governor-rick-perry-now-says-his-wife-has-been-encouraging-him/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/369/jay-leno-210_afterlife_texas-governor-rick-perry-now-says-his-w_1043882.jpg)

> [I take risks, if you want to call it a risk. All the people running for president, last time, you know, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-arpaio/i-take-risks-if-you-want-to-call-it-a-risk-all-the-people-running-for/)

[Joe Arpaio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-arpaio/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90d/joe-arpaio-9065_endorsements_i-take-risks-if-you-want-to-call-it-a-ri_788125.png)

> [Rick Perry I have a great fondness for. And what Rick Perry has, like Jeb Bush has, it will be interesting to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rudy-giuliani/rick-perry-i-have-a-great-fondness-for-and-what-rick-perry-has-like/)

[Rudy Giuliani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rudy-giuliani/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/298/rudy-giuliani-958_compare_rick-perry-i-have-a-great-fondness-for-a_2511809.jpg)

> [Natural Texas politicians make terrible, terrible presidential candidates. Phil Gramm, I remember the 'Phil Gramm for President' campaign. I thought that was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-collins/natural-texas-politicians-make-terrible-terrible-presidential/)

[Gail Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-collins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/gail-collins-3567_campaigns_natural-texas-politicians-make-terrible_1366798.png)

> [ I was just really appalled, and I really kept quiet until I saw the governor \[Rick Perry\] get on and repeat the… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-was-just-really-appalled-and-i-really-kept-quiet-until-i-saw-the/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45a/elizabeth-gilbert-131_appalled_i-was-just-really-appalled-and-i-really_3201356.jpg)

> [Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/rick-perry-said-obama-s-suggestions-for-gun-control-disgust-him-he/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c5/bill-maher-211_answers_rick-perry-said-obama-s-suggestions-for_815784.jpg)

> [Rick Perry's an idiot, and I don't think anyone would disagree with that,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-bartlett/rick-perry-s-an-idiot-and-i-don-t-think-anyone-would-disagree-with/)

[Bruce Bartlett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-bartlett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf2/bruce-bartlett-27847_disagree_rick-perry-s-an-idiot-and-i-don-t-think_2083715.png)

> [Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-fallon/look-i-know-these-rick-perry-jokes-are-a-little-mean-but-tomorrow-he/)

[Jimmy Fallon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-fallon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a45/jimmy-fallon-656_jokes_look-i-know-these-rick-perry-jokes-are-a_2692034.jpg)

> [Today is 11/11/11, a date so simple even Rick Perry can remember it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-fallon/today-is-11-11-11-a-date-so-simple-even-rick-perry-can-remember-it/)

[Jimmy Fallon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-fallon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcc/jimmy-fallon-656_remember_today-is-11-11-11-a-date-so-simple-even_1468403.jpg)

> [Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/last-week-i-suggested-the-candidates-take-up-mushrooms-i-ll-be-damned/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d8/bill-maher-211_lasts_last-week-i-suggested-the-candidates-tak_1644316.png)

> [Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-borowitz/rick-perry-is-qualified-to-be-president-in-the-same-way-that-olive/)

[Andy Borowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-borowitz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/873/andy-borowitz-10917_garden_rick-perry-is-qualified-to-be-president_3199818.png)

> [I've never heard anybody in my family say anything but good things about Rick Perry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeb-bush/i-ve-never-heard-anybody-in-my-family-say-anything-but-good-things/)

[Jeb Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeb-bush/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/jeb-bush-1082_family_i-ve-never-heard-anybody-in-my-family-sa_543546.png)

> [If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kinky-friedman/if-jesus-christ-had-run-as-an-independent-rick-perry-would-have-beat/)

[Kinky Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kinky-friedman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f5/kinky-friedman-2471_beats_if-jesus-christ-had-run-as-an-independen_2008134.png)

> [When Rick Perry says I can do for America what I've done for Texas, pay attention. That's no idle threat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-hightower/when-rick-perry-says-i-can-do-for-america-what-i-ve-done-for-texas/)

[Jim Hightower](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-hightower/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/jim-hightower-10047_america_when-rick-perry-says-i-can-do-for-americ_1035602.jpg)

> [It is literally painful to watch Rick Perry as a candidate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-carville/it-is-literally-painful-to-watch-rick-perry-as-a-candidate/)

[James Carville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-carville/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82a/james-carville-2521_candidate_it-is-literally-painful-to-watch-rick-pe_2588959.png)

> [Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/personally-i-hope-he-doesn-t-get-out-of-the-campaign-i-need-rick/)

[Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e2/craig-ferguson-664_campaigns_personally-i-hope-he-doesn-t-get-out-of_587194.png)

> [Westerners know the difference between a talker and the real deal. If Rick Perry wasn't right to be governor of Texas, why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dick-cheney/westerners-know-the-difference-between-a-talker-and-the-real-deal-if/)

[Dick Cheney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dick-cheney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6a/dick-cheney-1810_deals_westerners-know-the-difference-between-a_2200952.jpg)

> [Rick Perry said America's revolutionary war was fought in the 16th century. When told it was actually the 18th century, Perry apologized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/rick-perry-said-america-s-revolutionary-war-was-fought-in-the-16th/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee9/conan-o-brien-540_18th-century_rick-perry-said-america-s-revolutionary_825893.jpg)

> [Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/rick-perry-unveiled-his-new-tax-plan-he-says-he-wants-a-flat-tax-he/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d5/jay-leno-210_believe_rick-perry-unveiled-his-new-tax-plan-he_1734080.png)

> [People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/people-are-saying-that-rick-perry-is-really-tough-because-he-has/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/755/conan-o-brien-540_florida_people-are-saying-that-rick-perry-is-rea_3106454.png)

> [What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and Rick Perry? It only takes Lindsay four and a half hours to finish a sentence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/what-s-the-difference-between-lindsay-lohan-and-rick-perry-it-only/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e4/jay-leno-210_differences_what-s-the-difference-between-lindsay-lo_899152.png)

> [Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/texas-governor-rick-perry-said-god-is-calling-on-him-to-run-for/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19d/jay-leno-210_calling_texas-governor-rick-perry-said-god-is-ca_963312.jpg)

## Top authors on Rick Perry

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b012/author-jay-leno-47716.jpg) Jay Leno 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rick-perry/jay-leno/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-david-letterman-27689.jpg) David Letterman 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rick-perry/david-letterman/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-jimmy-fallon-49968.jpg) Jimmy Fallon 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rick-perry/jimmy-fallon/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-conan-obrien-24934.jpg) Conan O'Brien 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rick-perry/conan-o-brien/)

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                        "text": "Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick Perry heard that, he said, 'Well that's nothing. I like to execute people.'",
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                        "text": "It's important for Republicans to nominate someone who not only has a vision of how to create jobs, but who has done it. That's why I am endorsing Texas Governor Rick Perry for President.",
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                        "text": "Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where it belongs, my work here is done.' I think that's what he said, he was chewing a crayon.",
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                        "text": "Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized George W. Bush a lot, but there was one thing he was very disciplined about, and that was getting his full eight years of sleep.",
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                        "text": "Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run; now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference; if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference.",
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                        "text": "I take risks, if you want to call it a risk. All the people running for president, last time, you know, they all came to visit me or meet me. They all wanted my endorsement and I endorsed [Rick] Perry at that time. He wasn't that well-liked either, but you have to do what you have to do.",
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                        "text": "Rick Perry I have a great fondness for. And what Rick Perry has, like Jeb Bush has, it will be interesting to compare their two records as governor, very close, great economic development, low taxes, all the things we want domestically out of a president.",
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                        "text": "Natural Texas politicians make terrible, terrible presidential candidates. Phil Gramm, I remember the 'Phil Gramm for President' campaign. I thought that was the worst thing in the history of the world, but Rick Perry was possibly worse.",
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                        "text": "I was just really appalled, and I really kept quiet until I saw the governor [Rick Perry] get on and repeat the same words that the prosecution had used in the penalty phase: that he [Todd Willingham] was a monster. And that got me to get on to the computer and connect with some of the media and say: \"I have his letters. He wasn't a monster. He was a caring individual.\" Let them see another side.",
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                        "text": "Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer. You know, i know you're not supposed to say this about elected officials, but I would pay to see Rick Perry defend himself against a school shooter with prayer.",
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                        "text": "Today is 11/11/11, a date so simple even Rick Perry can remember it.",
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                        "text": "Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.",
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                        "text": "Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.",
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                        "text": "Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year trying to do jokes about Mitt Romney.",
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                        "text": "Westerners know the difference between a talker and the real deal. If Rick Perry wasn't right to be governor of Texas, why should he be president?",
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                        "text": "Rick Perry said America's revolutionary war was fought in the 16th century. When told it was actually the 18th century, Perry apologized and said, 'I never said I was a geology major.'",
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                        "text": "Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling on her to run for President. You know, if God is that indecisive, he's probably for Mitt Romney!",
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