---
title: "29 Receipt Quotes by 24 authors"
description: "Browse 29 Receipt quotes by 24 authors. Discover the best Receipt sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bd/ka-36717_heat_i-own-the-night-the-heat-s-my-receipt-23_2300036.jpg"
---

> [I own the night...the heat's my receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ka/i-own-the-night-the-heat-s-my-receipt/)

[Ka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ka/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bd/ka-36717_heat_i-own-the-night-the-heat-s-my-receipt-23_2300036.jpg)

> [I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/groucho-marx/i-remember-the-first-time-i-had-sex-i-kept-the-receipt/)

[Groucho Marx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/groucho-marx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c56/groucho-marx-788_first-time_i-remember-the-first-time-i-had-sex-i-ke_317634.jpg)

> [I wish love came with a receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-wish-love-came-with-a-receipt/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b5/anonymous-1_love_i-wish-love-came-with-a-receipt-2726783_2726783.jpg)

> [Applause is a receipt, not a note of demand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artur-schnabel/applause-is-a-receipt-not-a-note-of-demand/)

[Artur Schnabel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artur-schnabel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f1/artur-schnabel-26714_applause_applause-is-a-receipt-not-a-note-of-dema_3129219.png)

> [Applause is a receipt, not a bill.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dale-carnegie/applause-is-a-receipt-not-a-bill/)

[Dale Carnegie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dale-carnegie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f85/dale-carnegie-382_applause_applause-is-a-receipt-not-a-bill-2871258_2871258.jpg)

> [Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kin-hubbard/some-people-pay-a-compliment-as-if-they-expected-a-receipt/)

[Kin Hubbard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kin-hubbard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c1/kin-hubbard-2076_compliment_some-people-pay-a-compliment-as-if-they_111301.png)

> [I bought a pack of gum...I don't need a 3ft receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-bought-a-pack-of-gum-i-don-t-need-a-3ft-receipt/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/777/anonymous-1_being-annoyed_i-bought-a-pack-of-gum-i-don-t-need-a-3f_2124589.jpg)

> [“Where did you get that mug? I hope you kept the receipt.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-reilly/where-did-you-get-that-mug-i-hope-you-kept-the-receipt/)

[Arthur Reilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-reilly/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/428/arthur-reilly-220958_hope_where-did-you-get-that-mug-i-hope-you-ke_2735249.jpg)

> [If I only have receipt for all my mistake, then I would take it all back](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-i-only-have-receipt-for-all-my-mistake-then-i-would-take-it-all/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a7/anonymous-1_failure_if-i-only-have-receipt-for-all-my-mistak_1573898.jpg)

> [I know every day is a gift, but where's the receipt for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-know-every-day-is-a-gift-but-where-s-the-receipt-for-mondays-i-want/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abb/anonymous-1_day_i-know-every-day-is-a-gift-but-where-s-t_1177995.jpg)

> [To acknowledge the receipt of letters is always proper, to remove doubts of their miscarriage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-washington/to-acknowledge-the-receipt-of-letters-is-always-proper-to-remove/)

[George Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-washington/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/816/george-washington-257_acknowledge_to-acknowledge-the-receipt-of-letters-is_458655.jpg)

> [Karma caught up with me, It wasn't fun but I paid my dues and got a receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-fouche/karma-caught-up-with-me-it-wasn-t-fun-but-i-paid-my-dues-and-got-a/)

[Desmond Fouche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-fouche/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9d/desmond-fouche-21771_bad-karma_karma-caught-up-with-me-it-wasn-t-fun-bu_2162818.jpg)

> [White people you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katt-williams/white-people-you-did-not-get-a-receipt-for-niggas-you-can-not-return/)

[Katt Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katt-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10d/katt-williams-6562_can-not_white-people-you-did-not-get-a-receipt-f_2266883.jpg)

> [You look like the playa-hater who sold me this shit. Give me back my damn money right now, and I don't have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-blackson/you-look-like-the-playa-hater-who-sold-me-this-shit-give-me-back-my/)

[Michael Blackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-blackson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b6/michael-blackson-18063_money_you-look-like-the-playa-hater-who-sold-m_1454138.jpg)

> [No, I did not want the receipt, but now that you've asked, I'm getting suspicious. So yes please I want it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/green-monk/no-i-did-not-want-the-receipt-but-now-that-you-ve-asked-i-m-getting/)

[Green Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/green-monk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/453/green-monk-388_funny_no-i-did-not-want-the-receipt-but-now-th_1296104.jpg)

> [I dont know where you got your looks from, but I hope you kept the receipt!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bugs-bunny/i-dont-know-where-you-got-your-looks-from-but-i-hope-you-kept-the/)

[Bugs Bunny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bugs-bunny/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/bugs-bunny-18583_hope-kept_i-dont-know-where-you-got-your-looks-fro_501616.jpg)

> [“New Rule: If you get to serve me a quarter-head of lettuce with dressing on it, which proves you could have made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-if-you-get-to-serve-me-a-quarter-head-of-lettuce-with/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e23/bill-maher-211_food_new-rule-if-you-get-to-serve-me-a-quarte_1820701.png)

> [You go back and tell Brigham Young that I'll give up the Lord's money when he sends me a receipt signed by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-brannan/you-go-back-and-tell-brigham-young-that-i-ll-give-up-the-lord-s-money/)

[Samuel Brannan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-brannan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c9/samuel-brannan-275861_giving_you-go-back-and-tell-brigham-young-that_554226.png)

> [I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-like-it-when-you-buy-something-and-pay-with-a-credit-card-they-put/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ffc/mitch-hedberg-695_assistance_i-like-it-when-you-buy-something-and-pay_1735264.png)

> [“supplies he’d acquired during his eighteen months in Henrietta. Rumpled maps, computer printouts, ever-present journal, flashlight, willow stick. When Gansey plucked a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-stiefvater/supplies-he-d-acquired-during-his-eighteen-months-in-henrietta/)

[Maggie Stiefvater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-stiefvater/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0a/maggie-stiefvater-76_computers_supplies-he-d-acquired-during-his-eighte_983381.png)

> [I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-bought-a-doughnut-and-they-gave-me-a-receipt-for-the-doughnut-i-don/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/285/mitch-hedberg-695_bureaucracy_i-bought-a-doughnut-and-they-gave-me-a-r_417415.jpg)

> [“Once, when the minibar boy saw me promptly dump my receipt in the ashtray, he warned me that I was legally obliged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-parks/once-when-the-minibar-boy-saw-me-promptly-dump-my-receipt-in-the/)

[Tim Parks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-parks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec4/tim-parks-22093_quote_once-when-the-minibar-boy-saw-me-promptl_1215346.jpg)

> [I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/i-don-t-need-a-receipt-for-a-doughnut-i-ll-just-give-you-the-money/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d2/mitch-hedberg-695_back-home_i-don-t-need-a-receipt-for-a-doughnut-i_263033.png)

> [“Just another day in my life. This was one of those days when I thought that maybe a new life, a different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/just-another-day-in-my-life-this-was-one-of-those-days-when-i-thought/)

[Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/483/laurell-k-hamilton-199_another-day_just-another-day-in-my-life-this-was-one_49406.png)

> [“It isn't a club," I said calmly. "It's a walking stick." "Six feet long." "It's traditional Ozark folk art." "With dents and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/it-isn-t-a-club-i-said-calmly-it-s-a-walking-stick-six-feet-long-it-s/)

[Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14e/jim-butcher-151_folk-art_it-isn-t-a-club-i-said-calmly-it-s-a-wal_425570.jpg)

> [“We fought over the bill when it came. By fought I mean: I insisted loudly on paying half and he responded with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penny-reid/we-fought-over-the-bill-when-it-came-by-fought-i-mean-i-insisted/)

[Penny Reid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penny-reid/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d62/penny-reid-1063_credit-card_we-fought-over-the-bill-when-it-came-by_720496.jpg)

> [Talk is cheap, knew I should've kept the receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wale/talk-is-cheap-knew-i-should-ve-kept-the-receipt/)

[Wale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wale/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bc/wale-447_being-disappointed_talk-is-cheap-knew-i-should-ve-kept-the_880530.jpg)

> [Niggas say they paid they dues, well I'm checking your receipt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/niggas-say-they-paid-they-dues-well-i-m-checking-your-receipt/)

[Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c0/lil-wayne-62_quote_niggas-say-they-paid-they-dues-well-i-m_1765623.jpg)

> [Karma is not a receipt of a physical experience, because of what someone has done.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/karma-is-not-a-receipt-of-a-physical-experience-because-of-what/)

[Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8aa/frederick-lenz-8_done_karma-is-not-a-receipt-of-a-physical-exp_490541.jpg)

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                        "text": "“Where did you get that mug? I hope you kept the receipt.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If I only have receipt for all my mistake, then I would take it all back",
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                        "text": "I know every day is a gift, but where's the receipt for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "To acknowledge the receipt of letters is always proper, to remove doubts of their miscarriage.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Karma caught up with me, It wasn't fun but I paid my dues and got a receipt.",
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                        "text": "White people you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You look like the playa-hater who sold me this shit. Give me back my damn money right now, and I don't have no damn receipt.",
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                            "name": "Michael Blackson"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "No, I did not want the receipt, but now that you've asked, I'm getting suspicious. So yes please I want it.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I dont know where you got your looks from, but I hope you kept the receipt!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“New Rule: If you get to serve me a quarter-head of lettuce with dressing on it, which proves you could have made a salad but chose not to, then I get to pay you with an ATM receipt, which proves I have the money but you're not getting any.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You go back and tell Brigham Young that I'll give up the Lord's money when he sends me a receipt signed by the Lord, and no sooner.",
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                            "name": "Samuel Brannan"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but only the last four numbers. Aha! I'm really good at guessing twelve numbers. I can't guess 16 numbers, so thanks for the assistance!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“supplies he’d acquired during his eighteen months in Henrietta. Rumpled maps, computer printouts, ever-present journal, flashlight, willow stick. When Gansey plucked a digital recorder out of the mess, a pizza receipt (one large deep-dish, half sausage, half avocado) fluttered to the seat, joining a half-dozen receipts identical except for the date.”",
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                        "text": "I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, 'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under D.'",
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                        "text": "“Once, when the minibar boy saw me promptly dump my receipt in the ashtray, he warned me that I was legally obliged to retain it for the duration of my journey, as if it was a sort of ticket without which my digestive processes might be subject to sanction.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don't need to bring ink and paper into this! I can't imagine a scenario where I'd have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend...'Don't even act like I didn't buy that doughnut! I've got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it's back home, in the file. Under d...for doughnut.'",
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                        "text": "“Just another day in my life. This was one of those days when I thought that maybe a new life, a different life, wouldn't be so bad. But where the hell had I put the receipt, and could you return something that was over twenty years old? Where do you go to get a new life when your old one has you so puzzled you don't know how to fix it? Wish I knew.”",
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                        "text": "“It isn't a club,\" I said calmly. \"It's a walking stick.\" \"Six feet long.\" \"It's traditional Ozark folk art.\" \"With dents and nicks all over it.\" I thought about it for a second. \"I'm insecure?\" \"Get a blanket.\" He held out his hand. I signed and passed my staff over to him. \"Do I get a receipt?\" He took a notepad from his pocket and wrote on it. Then he passed it over to me. It read: Received, one six foot tall traditional Ozark walking club from Mr. Smart-Ass.”",
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                        "text": "“We fought over the bill when it came. By fought I mean: I insisted loudly on paying half and he responded with beleaguered silence. Instead of discussing it or attempting to engage in my one-sided conversation, he wordlessly put his credit card in the holder; he kept it carefully out of my reach as I continued to list all the reasons we should split the check, not the least of which was that we’d agreed earlier that this was not a date, then handed it stealthily to the waiter as he passed. I was still oblivious, making my case, when Quinn signed the receipt.“Wait- what are you doing?” I looked from him to the paper slip.Silence. Scribble. Silence. “Did you just sign that? Was that the check?” My voiced hitched, my eyes wide with pseudo outrage. He glanced up at me, something like mock innocence lighting his features, and said, “I’m sorry. Did you want to split that?”",
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                        "text": "Talk is cheap, knew I should've kept the receipt.",
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