--- title: "1 Problem Son Quotes By American Dad" description: "1 Problem Son quotes by American Dad. Plus more from American Dad and more Problem Son sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/982/american-dad-20850_oh-god_stan-picks-up-telephone-this-is-stan-smi_1584580.jpg" --- > [Stan: (Picks up telephone) This is Stan Smith. Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son. Stan: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/stan-picks-up-telephone-this-is-stan-smith-principal-lewis-mr-smith-i/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/982/american-dad-20850_oh-god_stan-picks-up-telephone-this-is-stan-smi_1584580.jpg) ## More by American Dad > [Man: You are all going to live... (Smith family cheers) Man: ... for 24 more hours. Which is just enough time for you to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/man-you-are-all-going-to-live-smith-family-cheers-man-for-24-more/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Man: Good news. Apparently, that batch of virus was inert, so that means... Stan: We're going to be okay. Man: Yes, although apparently your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/man-good-news-apparently-that-batch-of-virus-was-inert-so-that-means/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [God, please watch over the soul of this dead dog and carry him up to heaven... because he sure as hell can't walk... he's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/god-please-watch-over-the-soul-of-this-dead-dog-and-carry-him-up-to/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Stan: Francine, what the hell is going on? You were fired. (Donald Trump comes in) Stan: That's passive past tense, Trump! You don't own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/stan-francine-what-the-hell-is-going-on-you-were-fired-donald-trump/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Hayley: It's just toast, Dad. Stan: This time it was toast, Hayley. This time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/hayley-it-s-just-toast-dad-stan-this-time-it-was-toast-hayley-this/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Francine: This is a wonderful starter home. I've been saving it for a couple just like you. Woman: Pretty soon, we're gonna be more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/francine-this-is-a-wonderful-starter-home-i-ve-been-saving-it-for-a/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Steve: This is it. I have absolute power. (Over intercom) Doris, could you please send in our high school mascot? (Man dressed in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/steve-this-is-it-i-have-absolute-power-over-intercom-doris-could-you/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Stan: Francine, I want you to stop this nonsense. Francine: "Nonsense"? This job is my career. Stan: No, my job is a career. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/stan-francine-i-want-you-to-stop-this-nonsense-francine-nonsense-this/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Stan: What makes you think you're gonna survive? Roger: My species is immune to all human ailments. Stan: So explain that cold sore. Roger:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/stan-what-makes-you-think-you-re-gonna-survive-roger-my-species-is/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Stan: Hilary, look out for the mines! (Explosion) What did I just say? You heard me. What did I just say? Steve: You said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/stan-hilary-look-out-for-the-mines-explosion-what-did-i-just-say-you/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Girl: Hey, I love your dog. Guy: Hey, want to come back to my apartment and pet my schnauzer? Girl: Okay. Guy: And then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/girl-hey-i-love-your-dog-guy-hey-want-to-come-back-to-my-apartment/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Steve: Bobby, get over here, I want my Shazzam shirt dry cleaned and pressed by third period. Oh, and another thing, all periods will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/steve-bobby-get-over-here-i-want-my-shazzam-shirt-dry-cleaned-and/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [By the way, Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, these Chocodiles Haley, oh my God, these Chocodiles, oh my God! -Roger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/by-the-way-haley-oh-my-god-these-chocodiles-these-chocodiles-haley-oh/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Stan: (With gun, searching the house) Osama, is that you? (Hears noise, fires gun) Roger: Geez, Stan, what gives? Holy Toledo, you killed your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/stan-with-gun-searching-the-house-osama-is-that-you-hears-noise-fires/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) > [Stan: Uh, excuse me, are you Francine's boss? Man: Yes. Stan: (Into wrist communicator) Go! Go! Go! You're all under arrest. Man: For what?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/american-dad/stan-uh-excuse-me-are-you-francine-s-boss-man-yes-stan-into-wrist/) [American Dad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/american-dad/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/problem-son/american-dad/#itemlist", "name": "1 Problem Son Quotes By American Dad", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Stan: (Picks up telephone) This is Stan Smith. Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son. Stan: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years. (Starts chugging down pills) Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office. Stan: I see. 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