---
title: "38 President obama Quotes By Conan O'Brien"
description: "38 President obama quotes by Conan O'Brien. Plus more from Conan O'Brien and more President obama sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5df/conan-o-brien-540_california_the-turkey-that-president-obama-will-par_510116.png"
---

> [The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/the-turkey-that-president-obama-will-pardon-this-thanksgiving-is-from/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5df/conan-o-brien-540_california_the-turkey-that-president-obama-will-par_510116.png)

> [A lawyer from Africa wants to marry Malia Obama in exchange for goats, sheep, and cows. In response, President Obama said, 'Don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-lawyer-from-africa-wants-to-marry-malia-obama-in-exchange-for-goats/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/332/conan-o-brien-540_cows_a-lawyer-from-africa-wants-to-marry-mali_1586514.png)

> [Today President Obama is in the Middle East. He met the new king of Saudi Arabia. Obama also met Saudi Arabia's first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/today-president-obama-is-in-the-middle-east-he-met-the-new-king-of/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/260/conan-o-brien-540_arabia_today-president-obama-is-in-the-middle-e_2484343.png)

> [A new poll shows that Tiger Woods' popularity has dropped from 85 percent to 33 percent. President Obama's popularity is also at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-new-poll-shows-that-tiger-woods-popularity-has-dropped-from-85/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/232/conan-o-brien-540_fun_a-new-poll-shows-that-tiger-woods-popula_95920.png)

> [A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-bank-in-washington-was-robbed-by-two-men-in-george-w-bush-masks/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3dd/conan-o-brien-540_fine_a-bank-in-washington-was-robbed-by-two-m_433989.png)

> [President Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-has-pledged-3-billion-to-aid-poor-nations-all-of-that/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ff6/conan-o-brien-540_aids_president-obama-has-pledged-3-billion-to_3079206.png)

> [Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/yesterday-was-the-new-york-city-marathon-the-marathon-was-won-in/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4b/conan-o-brien-540_candidates_yesterday-was-the-new-york-city-marathon_2181693.png)

> [President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-filled-in-as-the-coach-of-his-daughter-sasha-s/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d3/conan-o-brien-540_basketball_president-obama-filled-in-as-the-coach-o_65922.jpg)

> [President Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-made-a-big-speech-he-welcomed-the-members-of-the-u-n/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75f/conan-o-brien-540_assembly_president-obama-made-a-big-speech-he-wel_2817620.png)

> [President Obama said the small drone that flew over the White House fence yesterday could be bought at any RadioShack. After hearing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-said-the-small-drone-that-flew-over-the-white-house/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/conan-o-brien-540_ceo_president-obama-said-the-small-drone-tha_171674.jpg)

> [President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-gave-a-speech-about-healthcare-tonight-and-yesterday/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa4/conan-o-brien-540_communication_president-obama-gave-a-speech-about-heal_45265.png)

> [President Obama , I guess, is starting to confess to some of his anxieties. In a recent interview, President Obama said, 'I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-i-guess-is-starting-to-confess-to-some-of-his/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4da/conan-o-brien-540_anxiety_president-obama-i-guess-is-starting-to-c_234650.png)

> [President Obama says he will not support a healthcare plan where the government gets to decide whether to, quote, 'pull the plug…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-says-he-will-not-support-a-healthcare-plan-where-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/conan-o-brien-540_government_president-obama-says-he-will-not-support_996759.jpg)

> [The Senate has sent President Obama a spending bill that gives the government enough money to keep going for two weeks. Our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/the-senate-has-sent-president-obama-a-spending-bill-that-gives-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c3/conan-o-brien-540_bills_the-senate-has-sent-president-obama-a-sp_1656886.png)

> [This morning President Obama met with Britain's Prince William in the Oval Office. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/this-morning-president-obama-met-with-britain-s-prince-william-in-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/264/conan-o-brien-540_britain_this-morning-president-obama-met-with-br_167091.png)

> [President Obama held a ceremony at the White House to celebrate the first night of Hanukkah. In response, Republicans said, 'It's even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-held-a-ceremony-at-the-white-house-to-celebrate-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16c/conan-o-brien-540_celebrate_president-obama-held-a-ceremony-at-the-w_2368442.png)

> [A congressman sent a tweet that compared president Obama to Adolf Hitler. He has now apologized. It's not helping that he apologized…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-congressman-sent-a-tweet-that-compared-president-obama-to-adolf/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ca/conan-o-brien-540_congressman_a-congressman-sent-a-tweet-that-compared_2152652.png)

> [For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/for-the-first-time-ever-a-black-republican-woman-has-been-elected-to/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

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> [President Obama announced that he's going to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba. He wants to act before Seth Rogen makes a movie…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-announced-that-he-s-going-to-reopen-diplomatic/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

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> [President Obama has decided that he wants his presidential library to be in Chicago, not Hawaii. Today Hawaii's governor said, 'Great, who's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-has-decided-that-he-wants-his-presidential-library-to/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

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> [The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/the-secret-service-said-there-have-been-40-fence-jumping-incidents-at/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c44/conan-o-brien-540_fence_the-secret-service-said-there-have-been_938480.jpg)

> [Congress is debating a kill switch that would allow President Obama to freeze all activity on the internet if there was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/congress-is-debating-a-kill-switch-that-would-allow-president-obama/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/855/conan-o-brien-540_activity_congress-is-debating-a-kill-switch-that_1406857.png)

> [Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/yesterday-president-obama-prank-called-a-washington-radio-station/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

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> [Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/donald-trump-said-that-if-president-obama-releases-his-birth/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/563/conan-o-brien-540_birth_donald-trump-said-that-if-president-obam_832393.png)

> [At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/at-the-state-of-the-union-address-last-night-president-obama-made/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ee/conan-o-brien-540_addresses_at-the-state-of-the-union-address-last-n_1993007.png)

> [A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at this point in his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-congressman-from-texas-sent-out-a-tweet-comparing-president-obama/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4c/conan-o-brien-540_approval_a-congressman-from-texas-sent-out-a-twee_2302362.png)

> [A new report just came out that says President Obama has mentioned Jesus Christ in more speeches than President Bush did. Can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-new-report-just-came-out-that-says-president-obama-has-mentioned/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/conan-o-brien-540_believe_a-new-report-just-came-out-that-says-pre_375988.png)

> [Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/tomorrow-night-president-obama-will-announce-his-new-immigration-plan/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a5/conan-o-brien-540_country_tomorrow-night-president-obama-will-anno_490574.png)

> [According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/according-to-some-reports-coming-out-of-washington-today-president/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe7/conan-o-brien-540_behinds_according-to-some-reports-coming-out-of_1126342.png)

> [President Obama, by the way, has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-by-the-way-has-set-a-guinness-world-record-as-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/conan-o-brien-540_candidates_president-obama-by-the-way-has-set-a-gui_2650410.png)

> [President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-and-vladimir-putin-are-both-in-china-attending-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/172/conan-o-brien-540_attending_president-obama-and-vladimir-putin-are-b_67471.png)

> [Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/kim-kardashian-tweeted-that-she-is-supporting-president-obama-in-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e4/conan-o-brien-540_barack_kim-kardashian-tweeted-that-she-is-suppo_580335.png)

> [People in China criticized President Obama for chewing gum while entering the economic summit in Beijing. They're saying he looked like a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/people-in-china-criticized-president-obama-for-chewing-gum-while/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/587/conan-o-brien-540_beijing_people-in-china-criticized-president-oba_2435028.png)

> [President Obama has appointed a transgender woman to a position in the Department of Commerce. You know, in this era of partisan…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-has-appointed-a-transgender-woman-to-a-position-in/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2f/conan-o-brien-540_bickering_president-obama-has-appointed-a-transgen_2779702.jpg)

> [President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-has-appointed-a-new-head-of-the-secret-service-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d28/conan-o-brien-540_directors_president-obama-has-appointed-a-new-head_2243529.png)

> [President Obama answered questions on YouTube today. He was asked 7,500 times about legalizing marijuana. And that was just from Chad in Portland.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-answered-questions-on-youtube-today-he-was-asked-7/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b17/conan-o-brien-540_chad_president-obama-answered-questions-on-yo_183688.png)

> [President Obama filled out his March Madness bracket. You can tell Obama's mind is elsewhere because his top two picks were Israel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-filled-out-his-march-madness-bracket-you-can-tell/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c5/conan-o-brien-540_brackets_president-obama-filled-out-his-march-mad_688674.png)

> [In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/in-a-speech-today-president-obama-said-that-michelle-obama-is-very/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

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## Other authors on President obama

## More by Conan O'Brien

> [A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-federal-court-has-ruled-that-the-u-s-postal-service-must-reduce-its/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/nbc-is-making-a-movie-about-martha-stewart-that-will-cover-the-recent/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/people-should-say-no-comment-more-often-no-comment-i-love-no-comment/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-new-study-reveals-that-one-third-of-babies-in-the-u-s-have-used-a/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/martha-stewart-showed-up-at-manhattan-fbi-headquarters-to-have-her/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/the-big-story-today-barack-obama-was-accused-of-insulting-sarah-palin/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/lego-has-announced-that-they-are-shutting-down-their-u-s-factory-and/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/a-new-survey-reveals-that-women-would-rather-give-up-sex-than-give-up/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/yesterday-the-dea-raided-several-nfl-teams-suspected-of-giving/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-gave-a-speech-about-healthcare-tonight-and-yesterday/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/the-first-thing-men-notice-about-a-woman-is-her-eyes-then-when-her/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/disappointment-leads-to-clarity-which-leads-to-conviction-and-true/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/john-travolta-said-he-sometimes-lets-his-friends-take-control-of-his/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-filled-in-as-the-coach-of-his-daughter-sasha-s/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/president-obama-and-vladimir-putin-are-both-in-china-attending-the/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

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                        "text": "A lawyer from Africa wants to marry Malia Obama in exchange for goats, sheep, and cows. In response, President Obama said, 'Don't be ridiculous. My daughter isn't marrying a lawyer.'",
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                        "text": "Today President Obama is in the Middle East. He met the new king of Saudi Arabia. Obama also met Saudi Arabia's first lady, the second lady, third lady, and fourth lady.",
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                        "text": "A new poll shows that Tiger Woods' popularity has dropped from 85 percent to 33 percent. President Obama's popularity is also at 33 percent, but Tiger had more fun getting there.",
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                        "text": "President Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States.",
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                        "text": "Yesterday was the New York City Marathon. The marathon was won in record time by a Democrat candidate running away from President Obama.",
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                        "text": "President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was drive straight down the center and piss everyone off.",
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                        "text": "President Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd like to encourage you to do some shopping while you're here.' I think it worked because China immediately bought eight banks, two car companies, and the state of Wyoming.",
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                        "text": "President Obama said the small drone that flew over the White House fence yesterday could be bought at any RadioShack. After hearing this, the RadioShack CEO said, 'I'm shocked to find out we still sell something people want.'",
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                        "text": "President Obama , I guess, is starting to confess to some of his anxieties. In a recent interview, President Obama said, 'I miss being anonymous.' He said, 'In the old days, I could blend in with all the other Hawaiian Barack Hussein Obamas.'",
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                        "text": "The Senate has sent President Obama a spending bill that gives the government enough money to keep going for two weeks. Our Congress has the financial planning skills of a college sophomore.",
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                        "text": "President Obama announced that he's going to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba. He wants to act before Seth Rogen makes a movie about Castro.",
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                        "text": "Congress is debating a kill switch that would allow President Obama to freeze all activity on the internet if there was a national emergency. The kill switch goes by the top-secret code name 'Microsoft Windows.'",
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                        "text": "Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn Beck's radio show as 'B. Hussein from Kenya.'",
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                        "text": "Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run for a second term if Trump releases that thing on his head.",
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                        "text": "At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in that speech. It was the part of the speech where he was just reading Craigslist personals.",
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                        "text": "A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at this point in his career Hitler had a much higher approval rating.",
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                        "text": "A new report just came out that says President Obama has mentioned Jesus Christ in more speeches than President Bush did. Can you believe that? Still, neither has used the phrase 'Oh God, oh God,' more than President Clinton.",
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                        "text": "Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this.",
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                        "text": "According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can' has Obama found a slogan so many Americans can get behind.",
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                        "text": "President Obama, by the way, has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama now has as many followers as the Republicans have presidential candidates.",
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                        "text": "President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice to finally see a friendly face.'",
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                        "text": "Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls are predicting that after tonight Barack Obama will still be president of the United States.",
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