---
title: "120 Poop Quotes by 94 authors"
description: "Browse 120 Poop quotes by 94 authors. Discover the best Poop sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6c/author-name-101_poop_never-poop-upsidedown-3089219_3089219.jpg"
---

> [NEVER POOP UPSIDEDOWN](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author-name/never-poop-upsidedown/)

[Author Name](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/author-name/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6c/author-name-101_poop_never-poop-upsidedown-3089219_3089219.jpg)

> [LOL GHOST POOP >.<](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/unknwon/lol-ghost-poop/)

[Unknwon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/unknwon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b56/unknwon-23181_halloween_lol-ghost-poop-1578607_1578607.jpg)

> [I love poop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-love-poop/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fb/anonymous-1_love_i-love-poop-759713_759713.jpg)

> [I love poopy terds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terd/i-love-poopy-terds/)

[Terd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terd/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14c/terd-281943_love_i-love-poopy-terds-2851537_2851537.jpg)

> [I have to poop!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/snooki/i-have-to-poop/)

[Snooki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/snooki/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cca/snooki-10589_poop_i-have-to-poop-592441_592441.jpg)

> [Boys sometimes poop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-john/boys-sometimes-poop/)

[Lil John](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-john/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b00/lil-john-256662_quote_boys-sometimes-poop-937250_937250.jpg)

> [Lms if u go poop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author-name/lms-if-u-go-poop/)

[Author Name](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/author-name/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c4/author-name-101_quote_lms-if-u-go-poop-1790288_1790288.jpg)

> [It hurts when I poop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruno-mars/it-hurts-when-i-poop/)

[Bruno Mars](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruno-mars/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ad/bruno-mars-1319_quote_it-hurts-when-i-poop-1140682_1140682.jpg)

> [“Eat like a bird, poop like an elephant. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/eat-like-a-bird-poop-like-an-elephant/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/120/anonymous-1_bird_eat-like-a-bird-poop-like-an-elephant-32_3218501.jpg)

> [When I get excited I want to poop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/snooki/when-i-get-excited-i-want-to-poop/)

[Snooki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/snooki/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/896/snooki-10589_excited_when-i-get-excited-i-want-to-poop-197424_197424.jpg)

> [“This was a true pants-pooping moment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-katt/this-was-a-true-pants-pooping-moment/)

[Dinah Katt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-katt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/065/dinah-katt-31140_moment_this-was-a-true-pants-pooping-moment-407_40780.jpg)

> [Ram it up your poop chute.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-zappa/ram-it-up-your-poop-chute/)

[Frank Zappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-zappa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77a/frank-zappa-702_inspirational_ram-it-up-your-poop-chute-1472257_1472257.jpg)

> [“You are all made of real poop.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-frank/you-are-all-made-of-real-poop/)

[Anne Frank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-frank/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba6/anne-frank-536_hate_you-are-all-made-of-real-poop-1316570_1316570.jpg)

> [“The best poops clean wipe!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-magee/the-best-poops-clean-wipe/)

[Steven Magee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-magee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/608/steven-magee-129_clean_the-best-poops-clean-wipe-1855473_1855473.jpg)

> [I liek to poop poop poop poop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/biggie-smalls/i-liek-to-poop-poop-poop-poop/)

[Biggie Smalls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/biggie-smalls/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/biggie-smalls-3547_poop_i-liek-to-poop-poop-poop-poop-2310478_2310478.jpg)

> [“The foundation of human health is poop!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-magee/the-foundation-of-human-health-is-poop/)

[Steven Magee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-magee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/513/steven-magee-129_diet_the-foundation-of-human-health-is-poop-1_1068611.jpg)

> [You mean we, like, need to poop in our pants? -Beavis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beavis-and-butt-head/you-mean-we-like-need-to-poop-in-our-pants-beavis/)

[Beavis And Butt-Head](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beavis-and-butt-head/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb1/beavis-and-butt-head-42577_quote_you-mean-we-like-need-to-poop-in-our-pan_1655408.jpg)

> [Having to poop after a shower is basically your body's way of pranking you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/having-to-poop-after-a-shower-is-basically-your-body-s-way-of/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/096/nikhil-saluja-26_poop_having-to-poop-after-a-shower-is-basical_691617.jpg)

> [Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-hoppus/farts-and-poop-are-still-funny-and-will-always-be-funny/)

[Mark Hoppus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-hoppus/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8f/mark-hoppus-3737_fart_farts-and-poop-are-still-funny-and-will_1189953.jpg)

> [I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-nugent/i-was-a-walking-talking-hunk-of-human-poop/)

[Ted Nugent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-nugent/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c7/ted-nugent-1735_humans_i-was-a-walking-talking-hunk-of-human-po_265372.png)

> [One side sticks to the facts, and the other side is close to playing with its poop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-olbermann/one-side-sticks-to-the-facts-and-the-other-side-is-close-to-playing/)

[Keith Olbermann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-olbermann/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90e/keith-olbermann-10325_facts_one-side-sticks-to-the-facts-and-the-oth_2832179.jpg)

> [“Does koala bear poop smell like cough drops?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-robbins/does-koala-bear-poop-smell-like-cough-drops/)

[Tom Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-robbins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/100/tom-robbins-169_bears_does-koala-bear-poop-smell-like-cough-dr_1410421.jpg)

> [“Life is nothin but poop, so eat lots of beans… And prunes”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-nothin-but-poop-so-eat-lots-of-beans-and-prunes/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5e/anonymous-1_humor_life-is-nothin-but-poop-so-eat-lots-of-b_2566440.jpg)

> [If it's working, who am I to poop on your parade?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-it-s-working-who-am-i-to-poop-on-your-parade/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/anonymous-1_quote_if-it-s-working-who-am-i-to-poop-on-your_1639559.jpg)

> [The great thing about having a bunch of kids is they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angelina-jolie/the-great-thing-about-having-a-bunch-of-kids-is-they-just-remind-you/)

[Angelina Jolie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angelina-jolie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52d/angelina-jolie-468_about_the-great-thing-about-having-a-bunch-of_1040925.jpg)

> [“The Universe is picking us off one by one. Yesterday part of the poop deck went, and with it all the toilets.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stanis-aw-lem/the-universe-is-picking-us-off-one-by-one-yesterday-part-of-the-poop/)

[Stanisław Lem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stanis-aw-lem/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c60/stanis-aw-lem-7489_humor_the-universe-is-picking-us-off-one-by-on_2040760.jpg)

> [ A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops \[very pleasant thanks for that mental image Maurice!\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mo-johnston/a-baby-changes-your-dinner-party-conversation-from-politics-to-poops-2/)

[Mo Johnston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mo-johnston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d8/mo-johnston-263970_baby_a-baby-changes-your-dinner-party-convers_2640909.png)

> [The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-fact-that-gene-weingarten-and-i-and-bathroom-inventory-are-now/)

[Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f50/dave-barry-222_bathroom_the-fact-that-gene-weingarten-and-i-and_1626037.png)

> [“When I see a dictionary on my desk I feel like I'm looking at some strange dog leaving a twisty piece of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/when-i-see-a-dictionary-on-my-desk-i-feel-like-i-m-looking-at-some/)

[Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/83b/haruki-murakami-21_animal_when-i-see-a-dictionary-on-my-desk-i-fee_3074151.jpg)

> [We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/we-re-wild-horses-we-re-going-to-eat-your-food-knock-down-your-tent/)

[Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e9/dave-barry-222_horse_we-re-wild-horses-we-re-going-to-eat-you_1742933.png)

> [Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/why-do-i-always-meet-women-as-i-m-leaving-the-dog-park-with-a-big-bag/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/006/dana-gould-1290_bags_why-do-i-always-meet-women-as-i-m-leavin_2067107.png)

> [“..a new baby is not uninterrupted bliss. It's joy mixed with terror, fatigue, depression, intense feelings of helplessness, loneliness and inadequacy. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-hax/a-new-baby-is-not-uninterrupted-bliss-it-s-joy-mixed-with-terror/)

[Carolyn Hax](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-hax/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7d/carolyn-hax-9229_baby_a-new-baby-is-not-uninterrupted-bliss-it_1211117.png)

> [If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-i-was-to-really-get-at-the-burr-in-my-saddle-it-s-not-politics-and/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14a/jon-stewart-455_analogies_if-i-was-to-really-get-at-the-burr-in-my_2920672.jpg)

> [“I was still a newlywed and certainly wasn't to the point where I felt comfortable yelling, "I'm going to shit my pants…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mollie-gross/i-was-still-a-newlywed-and-certainly-wasn-t-to-the-point-where-i-felt/)

[Mollie Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mollie-gross/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ac/mollie-gross-46267_humor_i-was-still-a-newlywed-and-certainly-was_1647532.jpg)

> [You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alton-brown/you-know-we-fixate-on-the-food-so-much-itself-oh-the-ultimate-brownie/)

[Alton Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alton-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d6/alton-brown-3699_ability_you-know-we-fixate-on-the-food-so-much-i_2349379.png)

> [Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/grandchildren-now-don-t-write-a-thank-you-for-the-christmas-presents/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ec/anonymous-1_caps_grandchildren-now-don-t-write-a-thank-yo_2498561.jpg)

> [Suddenly we have a baby who poops and cries, and we are trying to calm, clean up, and pin things together all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/polly-berrien-berends/suddenly-we-have-a-baby-who-poops-and-cries-and-we-are-trying-to-calm/)

[Polly Berrien Berends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/polly-berrien-berends/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52d/polly-berrien-berends-22615_baby_suddenly-we-have-a-baby-who-poops-and-cr_478288.jpg)

> [On one level, I am a total softie, sort of depressed and afraid of losing the people I love or failing them.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-saunders/on-one-level-i-am-a-total-softie-sort-of-depressed-and-afraid-of/)

[George Saunders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-saunders/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/004/george-saunders-317_depressed_on-one-level-i-am-a-total-softie-sort-of_252834.jpg)

> [When you get called the n-word, as a black person you can do anything. It's like getting a gold star in Super…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-glover/when-you-get-called-the-n-word-as-a-black-person-you-can-do-anything/)

[Donald Glover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-glover/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/280/donald-glover-7025_black_when-you-get-called-the-n-word-as-a-blac_1614288.jpg)

> [I've always learned on-the-job, in real time. A problem comes up; I research it, and try to solve it. You can't study…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-szaky/i-ve-always-learned-on-the-job-in-real-time-a-problem-comes-up-i/)

[Tom Szaky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-szaky/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97b/tom-szaky-54879_application_i-ve-always-learned-on-the-job-in-real-t_598382.jpg)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If it's working, who am I to poop on your parade?",
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                        "text": "The great thing about having a bunch of kids is they just remind you that you're the person who takes them to go poop!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The Universe is picking us off one by one. Yesterday part of the poop deck went, and with it all the toilets.”",
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                            "caption": "“The Universe is picking us off one by one. Yesterday part of the poop deck went, and with it all the toilets.” — Stanisław Lem",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "A baby changes your dinner party conversation from politics to poops [very pleasant thanks for that mental image Maurice!]",
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                        "text": "The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop strongly suggests that the Pulitzer is not what it once was.",
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                            "caption": "“The fact that Gene Weingarten and I and Bathroom Inventory are now part of some kind of Matrix of Poop…” — Dave Barry",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“When I see a dictionary on my desk I feel like I'm looking at some strange dog leaving a twisty piece of poop on our lawn out back.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
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                            "caption": "“We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're…” — Dave Barry",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.",
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                            "name": "Dana Gould"
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                            "caption": "“Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I…” — Dana Gould",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“..a new baby is not uninterrupted bliss. It's joy mixed with terror, fatigue, depression, intense feelings of helplessness, loneliness and inadequacy. And poop.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy - but I look at politicians as they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, 'That's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?' But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say, 'Bad monkey.'",
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                        "text": "“I was still a newlywed and certainly wasn't to the point where I felt comfortable yelling, \"I'm going to shit my pants any second!\" But the sweating had started, which was followed by the tears. \"I'm not feeling well, and need to get home,\" I told him. \"Ok, but I have to obey the speed limit because of all the kids in the neighborhood,\" he replied. I was pleading with him to hurry up when he came to a complete stop. I screamed at him, \"Why are we stopping?\" He rolled down the window. \"Retreat.\" I could see the flag lowering in the distance, the beautiful orange sun setting behind it. In the opposite direction I could see the roof line of our home - so close, yet so far away. As Retreat played, I surrendered. I pooped my pants. I took one for the flag. Now that's patriotism.”",
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                        "text": "You know we fixate on the food so much itself: “Oh, the ultimate brownie or the ultimate this or that” -- well, let me tell you something: It’s all poop in about 12 hours, okay? The real power that food has is its ability to connect human beings to each other -- that’s the stuff right there and, to me, everything else is secondary to that.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Grandchildren now don't write a thank you for the Christmas presents. They are walking on their pants with their cap on backward, listening to the Enema Man and Snoopy, Snoopy Poop Dog.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Suddenly we have a baby who poops and cries, and we are trying to calm, clean up, and pin things together all at once. Then as fast as we learn to cope--so soon--it is hard to recall why diapers ever seemed so important. The frontiers change, and now perhaps we have a teenager we can't reach.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "On one level, I am a total softie, sort of depressed and afraid of losing the people I love or failing them. To disguise that, there's all this harsh, poop-centric, external swagger, full of nastiness. I'm a cloaking device.",
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                        "text": "When you get called the n-word, as a black person you can do anything. It's like getting a gold star in Super Mario Brothers and junk. I hear the music when I hear the n-word. I get right into it; I get really into it. You can do anything. You could be in a fancy restaurant - just start throwing poop at the walls. People be like, 'What are you doing?' 'Someone called him the n-word.",
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                        "text": "I've always learned on-the-job, in real time. A problem comes up; I research it, and try to solve it. You can't study to be an entrepreneur; you have to develop those skills day in day out. All entrepreneurial experiences are related, whether you're selling worm poop to Wal-Mart or a grade tracking application to the public elementary school system. In the end, it's all very similar.",
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