---
title: "163 Plumber Quotes by 142 authors"
description: "Browse 163 Plumber quotes by 142 authors. Discover the best Plumber sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c9/albert-einstein-33_inspirational_if-i-could-do-it-all-again-i-d-be-a-plum_1769352.jpg"
---

> [If I could do it all again, I'd be a plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/if-i-could-do-it-all-again-i-d-be-a-plumber/)

[Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c9/albert-einstein-33_inspirational_if-i-could-do-it-all-again-i-d-be-a-plum_1769352.jpg)

> [I grew up a plumber's son in Philadelphia.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-vogel/i-grew-up-a-plumber-s-son-in-philadelphia/)

[Mike Vogel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-vogel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/494/mike-vogel-27354_grew_i-grew-up-a-plumber-s-son-in-philadelphi_2896200.jpg)

> [I am a plumber. Just a plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-wurzelbacher/i-am-a-plumber-just-a-plumber/)

[Joe Wurzelbacher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-wurzelbacher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c2/joe-wurzelbacher-18299_am_i-am-a-plumber-just-a-plumber-2851644_2851644.jpg)

> [He's done more U-turns than a dodgy plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iain-duncan-smith/he-s-done-more-u-turns-than-a-dodgy-plumber/)

[Iain Duncan Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iain-duncan-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/300/iain-duncan-smith-9059_funny_he-s-done-more-u-turns-than-a-dodgy-plum_1468449.jpg)

> [My mother hoped I'd be a plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-flanagan/my-mother-hoped-i-d-be-a-plumber/)

[Richard Flanagan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-flanagan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed6/richard-flanagan-2253_hoped_my-mother-hoped-i-d-be-a-plumber-247977_247977.jpg)

> [“Leaky pipes lead to puddles of despair.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-t-hincks/leaky-pipes-lead-to-puddles-of-despair/)

[Anthony T. Hincks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-t-hincks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64f/anthony-t-hincks-5359_anthony-t-hincks_leaky-pipes-lead-to-puddles-of-despair-1_1987464.jpg)

> [I wanted to be a plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-goulet/i-wanted-to-be-a-plumber/)

[Robert Goulet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-goulet/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fab/robert-goulet-21528_plumber_i-wanted-to-be-a-plumber-2384176_2384176.jpg)

> [Would people applaud me if I was a good plumber?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marlon-brando/would-people-applaud-me-if-i-was-a-good-plumber/)

[Marlon Brando](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marlon-brando/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3b/marlon-brando-4889_ifs_would-people-applaud-me-if-i-was-a-good_1862463.jpg)

> [Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/not-only-is-there-no-god-but-try-finding-a-plumber-on-sunday/)

[Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f53/woody-allen-176_god_not-only-is-there-no-god-but-try-finding_1879486.jpg)

> [I am instinctively a network infrastructure plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/audrey-maclean/i-am-instinctively-a-network-infrastructure-plumber/)

[Audrey MacLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/audrey-maclean/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24c/audrey-maclean-42237_am_i-am-instinctively-a-network-infrastruct_166170.jpg)

> [I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron-white/i-would-have-rather-been-beat-by-a-plumber-than-kathy-griffin/)

[Ron White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron-white/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/084/ron-white-2333_beat_i-would-have-rather-been-beat-by-a-plumb_2031512.png)

> [The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-zappa/the-plumber-he-says-never-flush-a-tampon-this-is-great-information/)

[Frank Zappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-zappa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/255/frank-zappa-702_cost_the-plumber-he-says-never-flush-a-tampon_1197254.jpg)

> [If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/if-i-had-my-life-to-live-over-again-i-d-be-a-plumber/)

[Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/144/albert-einstein-33_life_if-i-had-my-life-to-live-over-again-i-d_2645496.jpg)

> [If you're a plumber, you plumb. I'm an actor. I act.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-west/if-you-re-a-plumber-you-plumb-i-m-an-actor-i-act/)

[Adam West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-west/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f28/adam-west-7088_act_if-you-re-a-plumber-you-plumb-i-m-an-act_1002981.jpg)

> [A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-baer/a-plumber-is-an-adventurer-who-traces-leaky-pipes-to-their-source/)

[Arthur Baer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-baer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3e/arthur-baer-29715_adventure_a-plumber-is-an-adventurer-who-traces-le_1090409.jpg)

> [One of the best sleight-of-hand guys I know is a plumber.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ricky-jay/one-of-the-best-sleight-of-hand-guys-i-know-is-a-plumber/)

[Ricky Jay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ricky-jay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e7/ricky-jay-14367_best_one-of-the-best-sleight-of-hand-guys-i-k_2718356.png)

> [Guido the plumber and Michelangelo obtained their marble from the same quarry, but what each saw in the marble made the difference…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-kall/guido-the-plumber-and-michelangelo-obtained-their-marble-from-the/)

[Rob Kall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-kall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/rob-kall-52049_brilliant_guido-the-plumber-and-michelangelo-obtai_1582685.jpg)

> [Whether I'm writing about plumbers or psychics or psychic plumbers, I want to find a creative space that imprisons me usefully, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heidi-julavits/whether-i-m-writing-about-plumbers-or-psychics-or-psychic-plumbers-i/)

[Heidi Julavits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heidi-julavits/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/539/heidi-julavits-8173_creative_whether-i-m-writing-about-plumbers-or-ps_1531538.png)

> [I would like to mention that a couple days ago Senator Obama was out in Ohio and he had an encounter with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mccain/i-would-like-to-mention-that-a-couple-days-ago-senator-obama-was-out/)

[John McCain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mccain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d6/john-mccain-465_couple_i-would-like-to-mention-that-a-couple-da_2479899.jpg)

> [It's still about the women. It's not called Desperate Plumber. People are more interested in cat fights.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-denton/it-s-still-about-the-women-it-s-not-called-desperate-plumber-people/)

[James Denton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-denton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c4/james-denton-18836_cat_it-s-still-about-the-women-it-s-not-call_318711.jpg)

> [The mobile phone... is a tool for those whose professions require a fast response, such as doctors or plumbers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/umberto-eco/the-mobile-phone-is-a-tool-for-those-whose-professions-require-a-fast/)

[Umberto Eco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/umberto-eco/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/97e/umberto-eco-313_doctors_the-mobile-phone-is-a-tool-for-those-who_440777.jpg)

> [If I waited for inspiration every time I sat down to write a song I probably would be a plumber today.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-mann/if-i-waited-for-inspiration-every-time-i-sat-down-to-write-a-song-i/)

[Barry Mann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-mann/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84f/barry-mann-21185_inspiration_if-i-waited-for-inspiration-every-time-i_245157.png)

> [My dad was a plumber, and my mom was on and off again, either a stay-at-home mom or working with the disabled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-thompson/my-dad-was-a-plumber-and-my-mom-was-on-and-off-again-either-a-stay-at/)

[Craig Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-thompson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd2/craig-thompson-13868_again_my-dad-was-a-plumber-and-my-mom-was-on-a_1822171.jpg)

> [If your work is deathwork, one weapon is not enough, just as a plumber would not answer an urgent service call with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/if-your-work-is-deathwork-one-weapon-is-not-enough-just-as-a-plumber/)

[Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4a/dean-koontz-118_answers_if-your-work-is-deathwork-one-weapon-is_366392.jpg)

> [Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/leaving-out-the-gamblers-the-burglars-and-the-plumbers-perhaps-we-do/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/358/mark-twain-22_black_leaving-out-the-gamblers-the-burglars-an_67847.png)

> [“There was a bill on the counter from the plumber. God, she’d forgotten all about the leak. It seemed impossible that she’d…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-t-ellison/there-was-a-bill-on-the-counter-from-the-plumber-god-she-d-forgotten/)

[J.T. Ellison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-t-ellison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45b/j-t-ellison-1281_heart_there-was-a-bill-on-the-counter-from-the_710098.jpg)

> [I've always noticed that Old Families, like plumbers and barbers and possibly drummers and detectives, seem to have some kind of reciprocity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/celestine-sibley/i-ve-always-noticed-that-old-families-like-plumbers-and-barbers-and/)

Celestine Sibley

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61e/celestine-sibley-70870_arrangements_i-ve-always-noticed-that-old-families-li_1735523.jpg)

> [I like marginal characters, I like real people. I learn more from talking to my plumber when he comes to fix my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-jarmusch/i-like-marginal-characters-i-like-real-people-i-learn-more-from/)

[Jim Jarmusch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-jarmusch/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c58/jim-jarmusch-3256_character_i-like-marginal-characters-i-like-real-p_2765019.png)

> [I used to practice piano for hours, and now, with a synthesizer, you can input the music and the machine perfects the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/quincy-jones/i-used-to-practice-piano-for-hours-and-now-with-a-synthesizer-you-can/)

[Quincy Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/quincy-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dc/quincy-jones-2731_computers_i-used-to-practice-piano-for-hours-and-n_2982293.jpg)

> [You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-know-i-remember-career-day-in-high-school-i-remember-plumbers-and/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/jeff-foxworthy-939_airplane_you-know-i-remember-career-day-in-high-s_2135701.jpg)

> [A major announcement. Events are moving fast in my campaign, and yes, it's true that this morning I've dismissed my entire team…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-mccain/a-major-announcement-events-are-moving-fast-in-my-campaign-and-yes-it/)

[John McCain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-mccain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/746/john-mccain-465_announcement_a-major-announcement-events-are-moving-f_1001112.png)

> [When you have a sense of calling, whether it's to be a musician, soloist, artist, in one of the technical fields, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-r-swindoll/when-you-have-a-sense-of-calling-whether-it-s-to-be-a-musician/)

[Charles R. Swindoll](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-r-swindoll/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a70/charles-r-swindoll-878_art_when-you-have-a-sense-of-calling-whether_936782.png)

> [I do not want and will not take a royalty on any record I record. I think paying a royalty to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-albini/i-do-not-want-and-will-not-take-a-royalty-on-any-record-i-record-i/)

[Steve Albini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-albini/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/862/steve-albini-10003_band_i-do-not-want-and-will-not-take-a-royalt_2742491.jpg)

> [Everybody should read fiction… I don’t think serious fiction is written for a few people. I think we live in a stupid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/percival-everett/everybody-should-read-fiction-i-don-t-think-serious-fiction-is/)

[Percival Everett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/percival-everett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17d/percival-everett-21881_art_everybody-should-read-fiction-i-don-t-th_437558.jpg)

> [I like doing everything - theater and film, radio and TV, comedy and tragedy. I love it all. And I've never really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-molina/i-like-doing-everything-theater-and-film-radio-and-tv-comedy-and/)

[Alfred Molina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-molina/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd1/alfred-molina-18327_20th-century_i-like-doing-everything-theater-and-film_106037.jpg)

> [What you want in an interview is four things: You want someone who can explain what they do very well, who can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-king/what-you-want-in-an-interview-is-four-things-you-want-someone-who-can/)

[Larry King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-king/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/76a/larry-king-7288_hopefully_what-you-want-in-an-interview-is-four-th_1895089.png)

> [I’m no part time dilettante photographer, unlike the bartenders, shoe salesmen, floorwalkers plumbers, barbers, grocery clerks and chiropractors whose great hobby is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/weegee/i-m-no-part-time-dilettante-photographer-unlike-the-bartenders-shoe/)

[Weegee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/weegee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/768/weegee-28714_barbers_i-m-no-part-time-dilettante-photographer_788312.jpg)

> [Flying has changed how we imagine our planet, which we have seen whole from space, so that even the farthest nations are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diane-ackerman/flying-has-changed-how-we-imagine-our-planet-which-we-have-seen-whole/)

[Diane Ackerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diane-ackerman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f0/diane-ackerman-1035_afternoon_flying-has-changed-how-we-imagine-our-pl_1355961.jpg)

> [The myth stems from the belief that writing is some mystical process. That it's magical. That it abides by its own set…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patrick-rothfuss/the-myth-stems-from-the-belief-that-writing-is-some-mystical-process/)

[Patrick Rothfuss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patrick-rothfuss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c32/patrick-rothfuss-145_art_the-myth-stems-from-the-belief-that-writ_3022301.jpg)

> [Having faith in the plan of salvation includes steadfastly refusing to be diverted from our true identities and responsibilities. In the brief…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-a-maxwell/having-faith-in-the-plan-of-salvation-includes-steadfastly-refusing/)

[Neal A. Maxwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-a-maxwell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/neal-a-maxwell-925_activity_having-faith-in-the-plan-of-salvation-in_177221.jpg)

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                        "text": "If your work is deathwork, one weapon is not enough, just as a plumber would not answer an urgent service call with a single wrench.",
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                        "text": "Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after all, it is an overstatement. If the cholera or black plague should come to these shores, perhaps the bulk of the nation would pray to be delivered from it, but the rest would put their trust in The Health Board...",
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                        "text": "“There was a bill on the counter from the plumber. God, she’d forgotten all about the leak. It seemed impossible that she’d started her day with such a banal issue. It felt like a week had passed. Just”",
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                        "text": "I've always noticed that Old Families, like plumbers and barbers and possibly drummers and detectives, seem to have some kind of reciprocity arrangement in the South. Members of the freemasonry could move anywhere ... and still operate cozily in the local Old Family top drawer.",
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                        "text": "I like marginal characters, I like real people. I learn more from talking to my plumber when he comes to fix my toilet than I do from meeting a movie star. I think my movies are in the same vein as that.",
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                        "text": "I used to practice piano for hours, and now, with a synthesizer, you can input the music and the machine perfects the song. That's why we have so many people in the music business who should be plumbers. They don't really understand music because they haven't been trained.",
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                        "text": "You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remember a booth where you could sign up to learn how to shoot chickens out of a cannon at the windshield of an airplane, 'cause there would have been a line at my school to do that!",
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                        "text": "A major announcement. Events are moving fast in my campaign, and yes, it's true that this morning I've dismissed my entire team of senior advisers. All of their positions will now be held by a man named 'Joe the Plumber.'",
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                        "text": "When you have a sense of calling, whether it's to be a musician, soloist, artist, in one of the technical fields, or a plumber, there is something deep and enriching when you realize it isn't just a casual choice, it's a divine calling. It's not limited to vocational Christian service by any means.",
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                        "text": "I do not want and will not take a royalty on any record I record. I think paying a royalty to a producer or engineer is ethically indefensible. The band write the songs. The band play the music. It's the band's fans who buy the records. The band is responsible for whether it's a great record or a horrible record. Royalties belong to the band. I would like to be paid like a plumber. I do the job and you pay me what it's worth.",
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                        "text": "Everybody should read fiction… I don’t think serious fiction is written for a few people. I think we live in a stupid culture that won’t educate its people to read these things. It would be a much more interesting place if it would. And it’s not just that mechanics and plumbers don’t read literary fiction, it’s that doctors and lawyers don’t read literary fiction. It has nothing to do with class, it has to do with an anti-intellectual culture that doesn’t trust art.",
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                        "text": "I like doing everything - theater and film, radio and TV, comedy and tragedy. I love it all. And I've never really planned anything - I've always looked at my job in a rather simplistic way. It's like being a plumber. One day you might be fixing an early 20th century showerhead that requires real detailed work. The other day you might just be clearing a sewer. Both jobs are very different, but all the tools come out of the same box. That's the way I look at acting.",
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                        "text": "What you want in an interview is four things: You want someone who can explain what they do very well, who can have a sense of humor and hopefully is self - deprecating, who has a bit of a chip on their shoulder, and passion. If you have passion, a chip on the shoulder, a sense of humor, and you can explain what you do very well, it doesn't matter if you're a plumber or a singer or a politician. If you have those four things, you are interesting.",
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                        "text": "I’m no part time dilettante photographer, unlike the bartenders, shoe salesmen, floorwalkers plumbers, barbers, grocery clerks and chiropractors whose great hobby is their camera. All their friends rave about what wonderful pictures they take. If they’re so good, why don’t they take pictures full—time, for a living, and make floor walking, chiropractics, etc., their hobby? But everyone wants to play it safe. They’re afraid to give up their pay checks and their security they might miss a meal.",
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                        "text": "Flying has changed how we imagine our planet, which we have seen whole from space, so that even the farthest nations are ecological neighbors. It has changed our ideas about time. When you can gird the earth at 1,000 m.p.h., how can you endure the tardiness of a plumber? Most of all, flying has changed our sense of our body, the personal space in which we live, now elastic and swift. I could be in Bombay for afternoon tea if I wished. My body isn't limited by its own weaknesses; it can rush through space.",
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                        "text": "The myth stems from the belief that writing is some mystical process. That it's magical. That it abides by its own set of rules different from all other forms of work, art, or play.But that's bullshit. Plumbers don't get plumber's block. Teachers don't get teacher's block. Soccer players don't get soccer block. What makes writing different? Nothing. The only difference is that writers feel they have a free pass to give up when writing is hard.",
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                        "text": "Having faith in the plan of salvation includes steadfastly refusing to be diverted from our true identities and responsibilities. In the brief season of our existence on earth we may serve as a plumber, professor, farmer, physician, mechanic, bookkeeper, or teacher. These are useful activities and honorable designations; but a temporary vocation is not reflective of our true identities. Matthew was a tax collector, Luke a physician, and Peter a fisherman. In a salvational sense, 'so what!'",
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