---
title: "1 Plan Married Quotes By Phyllis Diller"
description: "1 Plan Married quotes by Phyllis Diller. Plus more from Phyllis Diller and more Plan Married sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9b/phyllis-diller-1622_beautiful_when-you-hire-a-person-to-plan-your-wedd_2584429.png"
---

> [When you hire a person to plan your wedding, this does not include securing the groom. Plan to get married on Friday the 13th. In years to come this will make it much easier to explain why things turned out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/when-you-hire-a-person-to-plan-your-wedding-this-does-not-include/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9b/phyllis-diller-1622_beautiful_when-you-hire-a-person-to-plan-your-wedd_2584429.png)

## More by Phyllis Diller

> [My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/my-mother-in-law-must-be-the-probation-officer-i-got-for-the-crime-i/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [I don't know how you feel about old age... but in my case I didn't even see it coming. It hit me from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/i-don-t-know-how-you-feel-about-old-age-but-in-my-case-i-didn-t-even/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/if-it-weren-t-for-baseball-many-kids-wouldn-t-know-what-a-millionaire/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/i-m-the-only-woman-who-can-walk-in-central-park-at-night-and-reduce/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/i-was-the-world-s-ugliest-baby-when-i-was-born-the-doctor-slapped/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/by-far-the-most-common-craving-of-pregnant-women-is-not-to-be-pregnant/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [For Fang, getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/for-fang-getting-out-of-bed-in-the-morning-is-a-career-move/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/women-want-men-careers-money-children-friends-luxury-comfort/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/i-admit-i-have-a-tremendous-sex-drive-my-boyfriend-lives-forty-miles/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/the-reason-women-don-t-play-football-is-because-11-of-them-would/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/if-you-don-t-have-wrinkles-you-haven-t-laughed-enough/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [“A smile is a curve that sets things right.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/a-smile-is-a-curve-that-sets-things-right/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/every-time-i-go-near-the-stove-the-dog-howls/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/some-wives-have-model-husbands-i-got-one-that-needed-remodeling/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

> [My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-diller/my-idea-of-exercise-is-a-good-brisk-sit/)

[Phyllis Diller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-diller/)

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