--- title: "14 Persons Quotes By Gary Chapman" description: "14 Persons quotes by Gary Chapman. Plus more from Gary Chapman and more Persons sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/703/gary-chapman-1325_conflict_conflicts-are-not-a-sign-you-ve-married_2279862.png" --- > [Conflicts are not a sign you've married the wrong person. They simply affirm you are human.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/conflicts-are-not-a-sign-you-ve-married-the-wrong-person-they-simply/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/703/gary-chapman-1325_conflict_conflicts-are-not-a-sign-you-ve-married_2279862.png) > [When I admit my own imperfections, it doesn't mean I am a bad person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/when-i-admit-my-own-imperfections-it-doesn-t-mean-i-am-a-bad-person/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8e/gary-chapman-1325_admit_when-i-admit-my-own-imperfections-it-doe_2665192.png) > [Love is reaching out to try to get to the other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-is-reaching-out-to-try-to-get-to-the-other-person/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16e/gary-chapman-1325_get_love-is-reaching-out-to-try-to-get-to-th_2434580.png) > [The person who is "in-love" has the ilusion that his beloved is perfect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/the-person-who-is-in-love-has-the-ilusion-that-his-beloved-is-perfect/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a56/gary-chapman-1325_beloved_the-person-who-is-in-love-has-the-ilusio_3120496.png) > [I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn't make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-for-about-15-years-and-i/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14f/gary-chapman-1325_about_i-have-been-doing-marriage-counseling-fo_2840785.png) > [The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/the-in-love-experience-does-not-focus-on-our-own-growth-or-on-the/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/256/gary-chapman-1325_development_the-in-love-experience-does-not-focus-on_3085240.jpg) > [You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/you-cannot-force-someone-to-accept-an-expression-of-love-you-can-only/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f1/gary-chapman-1325_accept_you-cannot-force-someone-to-accept-an-ex_2551553.png) > [If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each other,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/if-we-are-to-develop-an-intimate-relationship-we-need-to-know-each/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd8/gary-chapman-1325_desire_if-we-are-to-develop-an-intimate-relatio_1011428.png) > [I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-hope-the-reader-s-sense-that-i-am-deeply-empathetic-with-the-pain/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea6/gary-chapman-1325_abusers_i-hope-the-reader-s-sense-that-i-am-deep_2058749.png) > [Each person has the potential of making a positive impact on the world. It all depends on what you do with what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/each-person-has-the-potential-of-making-a-positive-impact-on-the/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/gary-chapman-1325_help-others_each-person-has-the-potential-of-making_1482415.png) > [Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the relationship? And is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/ask-yourself-does-the-action-i-am-considering-have-any-potential-for/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a0/gary-chapman-1325_action_ask-yourself-does-the-action-i-am-consid_744475.png) > [Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-all-five-languages-however-if/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png) > [What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved, respected and appreciated,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-depp-sense-of-being-connected/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png) > [Respect begins with this attitude: "I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. God has endowed you with certain abilities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/respect-begins-with-this-attitude-i-acknowledge-that-you-are-a/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ad/gary-chapman-1325_ability_respect-begins-with-this-attitude-i-ackn_1733872.jpg) ## Other authors on Persons ## More by Gary Chapman > [Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/marriages-are-always-moving-from-one-season-to-another-sometimes-we/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/something-in-our-nature-cries-out-to-be-loved-by-another-isolation-is/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/most-of-us-have-more-potential-than-we-will-ever-develop-what-holds/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/on-the-other-hand-if-i-walk-in-the-house-i-don-t-even-bother-to-find/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-look-for-three-things-in-hiring-people-the-first-is-personal/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-is-always-freely-given-love-cannot-be-demanded-we-can-request/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/psychologist-william-james-said-that-possibly-the-deepest-human-need/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-think-that-in-today-s-world-by-nature-we-are-all-self-centered-and/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/sometimes-when-the-spouse-is-really-the-culprit-it-is-hard-to-admit/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/there-is-a-third-truth-which-only-the-mature-lover-will-be-able-to/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ The getting out part \[of advise\] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/the-getting-out-part-of-advise-may-well-be-true-because-if-you-have/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [ I wrote this book \[ Desperate Marriages\] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage.… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-wrote-this-book-desperate-marriages-because-of-my-own-marriage-my/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/as-a-senior-in-high-school-i-had-a-strong-sense-that-god-wanted-me-in/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/we-all-desperately-need-love-if-a-spouse-in-a-difficult-marriage-will/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [“If acts of service do not come naturally for you, it is still a love language worth acquiring. It is a way of expressing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/if-acts-of-service-do-not-come-naturally-for-you-it-is-still-a-love/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/gary-chapman/#itemlist", "name": "14 Persons Quotes By Gary Chapman", "numberOfItems": 14, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Conflicts are not a sign you've married the wrong person. 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Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/the-in-love-experience-does-not-focus-on-our-own-growth-or-on-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/256/gary-chapman-1325_development_the-in-love-experience-does-not-focus-on_3085240.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/256/gary-chapman-1325_development_the-in-love-experience-does-not-focus-on_3085240.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/256/gary-chapman-1325_development_the-in-love-experience-does-not-focus-on_3085240.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. If it is not accepted, you must respect the other person's decision.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/you-cannot-force-someone-to-accept-an-expression-of-love-you-can-only/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f1/gary-chapman-1325_accept_you-cannot-force-someone-to-accept-an-ex_2551553.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f1/gary-chapman-1325_accept_you-cannot-force-someone-to-accept-an-ex_2551553.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f1/gary-chapman-1325_accept_you-cannot-force-someone-to-accept-an-ex_2551553.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You cannot force someone to accept an expression of love. You can only offer it. 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If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/if-we-are-to-develop-an-intimate-relationship-we-need-to-know-each/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd8/gary-chapman-1325_desire_if-we-are-to-develop-an-intimate-relatio_1011428.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd8/gary-chapman-1325_desire_if-we-are-to-develop-an-intimate-relatio_1011428.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd8/gary-chapman-1325_desire_if-we-are-to-develop-an-intimate-relatio_1011428.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other's desires. If we wish to love each…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I also believe that the person who is married to the abuser or the alcoholic or whomever has the greatest potential for helping them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/i-hope-the-reader-s-sense-that-i-am-deeply-empathetic-with-the-pain/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea6/gary-chapman-1325_abusers_i-hope-the-reader-s-sense-that-i-am-deep_2058749.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea6/gary-chapman-1325_abusers_i-hope-the-reader-s-sense-that-i-am-deep_2058749.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea6/gary-chapman-1325_abusers_i-hope-the-reader-s-sense-that-i-am-deep_2058749.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I hope the reader's sense that I am deeply empathetic with the pain of being in a desperate marriage, but I…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Each person has the potential of making a positive impact on the world. It all depends on what you do with what you have. Success is not to be measured by the amount of money you possess or the position you attain but rather in how you use both. Position and money can be squandered or abused, but they can also be used to help others.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/each-person-has-the-potential-of-making-a-positive-impact-on-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/gary-chapman-1325_help-others_each-person-has-the-potential-of-making_1482415.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/gary-chapman-1325_help-others_each-person-has-the-potential-of-making_1482415.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/gary-chapman-1325_help-others_each-person-has-the-potential-of-making_1482415.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Each person has the potential of making a positive impact on the world. It all depends on what you do with…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the relationship? And is it best for the person at whom I am angry? The two most constructive options are either to confront the person in a helpful way, or to consciously decide to overlook the matter.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/ask-yourself-does-the-action-i-am-considering-have-any-potential-for/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a0/gary-chapman-1325_action_ask-yourself-does-the-action-i-am-consid_744475.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a0/gary-chapman-1325_action_ask-yourself-does-the-action-i-am-consid_744475.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a0/gary-chapman-1325_action_ask-yourself-does-the-action-i-am-consid_744475.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Ask yourself: Does the action I am considering have any potential for dealing with the wrong and helping the…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. However, if you don't speak a person's primary love language, that person will not feel loved, even though you may be speaking the other four. Once you are speaking his or her primary love language fluently, then you can sprinkle in the other four and they will be like icing on the cake.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-all-five-languages-however-if/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c26/gary-chapman-1325_cake_love-can-be-expressed-and-received-in-al_2396957.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Love can be expressed and received in all five languages. 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Appreciation is that inner sense that your partner values your contribution to the relationship.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-depp-sense-of-being-connected/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06d/gary-chapman-1325_ability_what-is-emotional-intimacy-it-is-that-de_1764735.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What is emotional intimacy? It is that depp sense of being connected to one another. It is feeling loved…” — Gary Chapman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Respect begins with this attitude: \"I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. God has endowed you with certain abilities and emotions. Therefore I respect you as a person. I will not desecrate your worth by making critical remarks about your intellect, your judgment or your logic. I will seek to understand you and grant you the freedom to think differently from the way I think and to experience emotions that I may not experience.\" Respect means that you give the other person the freedom to be an individual.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gary Chapman" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/respect-begins-with-this-attitude-i-acknowledge-that-you-are-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ad/gary-chapman-1325_ability_respect-begins-with-this-attitude-i-ackn_1733872.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ad/gary-chapman-1325_ability_respect-begins-with-this-attitude-i-ackn_1733872.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ad/gary-chapman-1325_ability_respect-begins-with-this-attitude-i-ackn_1733872.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Respect begins with this attitude: \"I acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth. 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