--- title: "16 People Quotes By Jay Mohr" description: "16 People quotes by Jay Mohr. Plus more from Jay Mohr and more People sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/jay-mohr-4777_drunk_you-can-vibe-out-when-people-are-getting_1584938.png" --- > [You can vibe out when people are getting tired or they're too drunk to keep going along with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/you-can-vibe-out-when-people-are-getting-tired-or-they-re-too-drunk/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/jay-mohr-4777_drunk_you-can-vibe-out-when-people-are-getting_1584938.png) > [When I watch like The Office I'm fascinated because most of America works in an environment where they see the same eight…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/when-i-watch-like-the-office-i-m-fascinated-because-most-of-america/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6e/jay-mohr-4777_america_when-i-watch-like-the-office-i-m-fascina_1467461.png) > [People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/people-that-do-bits-and-jokes-or-one-liners-are-going-by-the-wayside/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a12/jay-mohr-4777_bits_people-that-do-bits-and-jokes-or-one-lin_1680223.png) > [Yogi Berra put it best, "If people don't want to come, we can't stop them."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/yogi-berra-put-it-best-if-people-don-t-want-to-come-we-can-t-stop-them/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c51/jay-mohr-4777_ifs_yogi-berra-put-it-best-if-people-don-t-w_1878121.png) > [People are more interested in someone who goes on stage and tells the truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/people-are-more-interested-in-someone-who-goes-on-stage-and-tells-the/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/jay-mohr-4777_goes-on_people-are-more-interested-in-someone-wh_2440629.png) > [Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/every-time-you-talk-about-politics-or-religion-know-that-the-moment/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/jay-mohr-4777_audience_every-time-you-talk-about-politics-or-re_1064352.png) > [Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, "It was pretty good." If anyone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/most-importantly-how-impressive-can-i-be-to-people-that-bought/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a0/jay-mohr-4777_comic_most-importantly-how-impressive-can-i-be_818115.png) > [I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-miss-third-grade-because-you-could-kill-people-in-dodgeball/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2c/jay-mohr-4777_dies_i-miss-third-grade-because-you-could-kil_3073656.png) > [You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/you-remember-from-watching-the-show-there-are-no-jokes-that-s-why-if/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/jay-mohr-4777_accusing_you-remember-from-watching-the-show-ther_5266.png) > [There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/there-is-a-lot-of-acting-that-is-on-the-table-precisely-good-acting/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/jay-mohr-4777_acting_there-is-a-lot-of-acting-that-is-on-the_1246262.png) > [What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/what-i-like-about-stand-up-is-it-s-truthful-i-m-not-up-there-trying/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46d/jay-mohr-4777_comedian_what-i-like-about-stand-up-is-it-s-truth_1994017.jpg) > [If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/if-you-think-you-re-an-alcoholic-go-to-scotland-you-re-not-an/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38f/jay-mohr-4777_alcoholics_if-you-think-you-re-an-alcoholic-go-to-s_2974886.png) > [ It doesn't hurt my voice or anything because some impressions tear my throat apart. \[Christophen\] Walken is easy; I can do it… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/it-doesn-t-hurt-my-voice-or-anything-because-some-impressions-tear-my/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/jay-mohr-4777_can-do_it-doesn-t-hurt-my-voice-or-anything-bec_1437515.png) > [If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/if-there-are-1-500-people-in-a-theater-and-they-re-all-there-to-see/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/544/jay-mohr-4777_balls_if-there-are-1-500-people-in-a-theater-a_319553.png) > [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/202/jay-mohr-4777_care_i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-i_123.jpg) > [Long Island always seems to be the hardest place for some reason. There are always excuses. People will say, "Well, there's a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/long-island-always-seems-to-be-the-hardest-place-for-some-reason/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22d/jay-mohr-4777_chelsea_long-island-always-seems-to-be-the-harde_552590.jpg) ## Other authors on People - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sunday-adelaja-87912.jpg) Sunday Adelaja 856 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/sunday-adelaja/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-rush-limbaugh-81741.jpg) Rush Limbaugh 843 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/rush-limbaugh/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-donald-trump-30060.jpg) Donald Trump 724 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/donald-trump/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-barack-obama-16275.jpg) Barack Obama 624 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/barack-obama/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-frederick-lenz-36205.jpg) Frederick Lenz 488 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/frederick-lenz/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b011/author-hillary-clinton-42043.jpg) Hillary Clinton 367 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/hillary-clinton/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-w-bush-38036.jpg) George W. Bush 298 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/george-w-bush/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-noam-chomsky-71799.jpg) Noam Chomsky 286 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/noam-chomsky/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bernie-sanders-17420.jpg) Bernie Sanders 260 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/bernie-sanders/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-john-c-maxwell-51081.jpg) John C. Maxwell 249 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/john-c-maxwell/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 244 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/terry-pratchett/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bill-gates-17911.jpg) Bill Gates 223 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/bill-gates/) ## More by Jay Mohr > [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/you-remember-from-watching-the-show-there-are-no-jokes-that-s-why-if/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [ I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, \[George\] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-m-telling-you-i-could-teach-at-a-university-george-carlin-a-whole/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/not-everyone-likes-sports-gandhi-and-malcolm-x-come-to-mind/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [ My wife and I have long discussions about \[George\] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/my-wife-and-i-have-long-discussions-about-george-carlin-and-we-refuse/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-remember-i-used-to-go-to-the-laugh-factory-and-just-goof-off/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [“If you want God to laugh, make plans.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/if-you-want-god-to-laugh-make-plans/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-didn-t-want-to-fight-a-guy-from-england-what-if-i-lose-not-that/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/all-that-waiting-around-for-a-glimmer-of-stage-time-just-getting/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/first-of-all-my-wife-writes-half-my-act-i-don-t-know-how-i-could/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/if-there-are-1-500-people-in-a-theater-and-they-re-all-there-to-see/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-m-a-comic-because-i-don-t-want-to-do-the-nine-to-five-i-have-to/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you're not Brad Pitt; you're never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/comedians-are-always-going-to-be-in-the-showbiz-middle-class-you-re/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/when-human-beings-stop-progressing-at-an-endeavor-they-stop-enjoying/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) > [If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/if-a-waiter-or-waitress-tells-me-when-gratuity-is-included-they/) [Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/jay-mohr/#itemlist", "name": "16 People Quotes By Jay Mohr", "numberOfItems": 16, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can vibe out when people are getting tired or they're too drunk to keep going along with.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/you-can-vibe-out-when-people-are-getting-tired-or-they-re-too-drunk/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/jay-mohr-4777_drunk_you-can-vibe-out-when-people-are-getting_1584938.png", "contentUrl": 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"ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a12/jay-mohr-4777_bits_people-that-do-bits-and-jokes-or-one-lin_1680223.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a12/jay-mohr-4777_bits_people-that-do-bits-and-jokes-or-one-lin_1680223.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a12/jay-mohr-4777_bits_people-that-do-bits-and-jokes-or-one-lin_1680223.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People that do \"bits\" and \"jokes\" or \"one-liners\" are going by the wayside.” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Yogi Berra put it best, \"If people don't want to come, we can't stop them.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/yogi-berra-put-it-best-if-people-don-t-want-to-come-we-can-t-stop-them/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": 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"https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/jay-mohr-4777_goes-on_people-are-more-interested-in-someone-wh_2440629.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/jay-mohr-4777_goes-on_people-are-more-interested-in-someone-wh_2440629.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/jay-mohr-4777_goes-on_people-are-more-interested-in-someone-wh_2440629.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People are more interested in someone who goes on stage and tells the truth.” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/every-time-you-talk-about-politics-or-religion-know-that-the-moment/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/jay-mohr-4777_audience_every-time-you-talk-about-politics-or-re_1064352.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/jay-mohr-4777_audience_every-time-you-talk-about-politics-or-re_1064352.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/jay-mohr-4777_audience_every-time-you-talk-about-politics-or-re_1064352.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, \"It was pretty good.\" If anyone thinks my show was \"pretty good,\" then I've completely failed. I think every comic should think that.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/most-importantly-how-impressive-can-i-be-to-people-that-bought/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a0/jay-mohr-4777_comic_most-importantly-how-impressive-can-i-be_818115.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a0/jay-mohr-4777_comic_most-importantly-how-impressive-can-i-be_818115.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a0/jay-mohr-4777_comic_most-importantly-how-impressive-can-i-be_818115.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, \"It was…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-miss-third-grade-because-you-could-kill-people-in-dodgeball/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2c/jay-mohr-4777_dies_i-miss-third-grade-because-you-could-kil_3073656.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2c/jay-mohr-4777_dies_i-miss-third-grade-because-you-could-kil_3073656.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2c/jay-mohr-4777_dies_i-miss-third-grade-because-you-could-kil_3073656.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You remember from watching the show, there are no \"jokes.\" That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a \"joke thief,\" I just tell them to come to one of my shows.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/you-remember-from-watching-the-show-there-are-no-jokes-that-s-why-if/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/jay-mohr-4777_accusing_you-remember-from-watching-the-show-ther_5266.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/jay-mohr-4777_accusing_you-remember-from-watching-the-show-ther_5266.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59b/jay-mohr-4777_accusing_you-remember-from-watching-the-show-ther_5266.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You remember from watching the show, there are no \"jokes.\" That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the ones that really nobody saw. The Groomsmen, Playing By Heart and Seeing Other People are by far the work I'm the most proud of.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/there-is-a-lot-of-acting-that-is-on-the-table-precisely-good-acting/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/jay-mohr-4777_acting_there-is-a-lot-of-acting-that-is-on-the_1246262.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/jay-mohr-4777_acting_there-is-a-lot-of-acting-that-is-on-the_1246262.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ad/jay-mohr-4777_acting_there-is-a-lot-of-acting-that-is-on-the_1246262.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There is a lot of acting that is on the table - precisely, good acting. The best movies of mine are the ones…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there because I really love it, and it makes people happier.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/what-i-like-about-stand-up-is-it-s-truthful-i-m-not-up-there-trying/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46d/jay-mohr-4777_comedian_what-i-like-about-stand-up-is-it-s-truth_1994017.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46d/jay-mohr-4777_comedian_what-i-like-about-stand-up-is-it-s-truth_1994017.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46d/jay-mohr-4777_comedian_what-i-like-about-stand-up-is-it-s-truth_1994017.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What I like about stand-up is, it's truthful. I'm not up there trying to get laid or look cool. I'm up there…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/if-you-think-you-re-an-alcoholic-go-to-scotland-you-re-not-an/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38f/jay-mohr-4777_alcoholics_if-you-think-you-re-an-alcoholic-go-to-s_2974886.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38f/jay-mohr-4777_alcoholics_if-you-think-you-re-an-alcoholic-go-to-s_2974886.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38f/jay-mohr-4777_alcoholics_if-you-think-you-re-an-alcoholic-go-to-s_2974886.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It doesn't hurt my voice or anything because some impressions tear my throat apart. [Christophen] Walken is easy; I can do it in my sleep. They all know it by heart. I did it on The Simpsons. I'm surprised that people still want to hear it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/it-doesn-t-hurt-my-voice-or-anything-because-some-impressions-tear-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/jay-mohr-4777_can-do_it-doesn-t-hurt-my-voice-or-anything-bec_1437515.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/jay-mohr-4777_can-do_it-doesn-t-hurt-my-voice-or-anything-bec_1437515.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/jay-mohr-4777_can-do_it-doesn-t-hurt-my-voice-or-anything-bec_1437515.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It doesn't hurt my voice or anything because some impressions tear my throat apart. 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People that disagree with me that are listening to my podcast that are not Christian, I'm not trying to sell them Christianity and I make it very clear.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/202/jay-mohr-4777_care_i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-i_123.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/202/jay-mohr-4777_care_i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-i_123.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/202/jay-mohr-4777_care_i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-i_123.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism…” — Jay Mohr", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Long Island always seems to be the hardest place for some reason. There are always excuses. People will say, \"Well, there's a lot to do in Long Island...\" but you know what, if Jim Gaffigan was here, tickets would be gone a month ago, if Chelsea Handler was at the Barclays Center, gone.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jay Mohr" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/long-island-always-seems-to-be-the-hardest-place-for-some-reason/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22d/jay-mohr-4777_chelsea_long-island-always-seems-to-be-the-harde_552590.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22d/jay-mohr-4777_chelsea_long-island-always-seems-to-be-the-harde_552590.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22d/jay-mohr-4777_chelsea_long-island-always-seems-to-be-the-harde_552590.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Long Island always seems to be the hardest place for some reason. There are always excuses. 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