--- title: "12 People Quotes By Artie Lange" description: "12 People quotes by Artie Lange. Plus more from Artie Lange and more People sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3d/artie-lange-7262_careers_but-i-live-an-interesting-life-and-i-can_2132180.jpg" --- > [But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/but-i-live-an-interesting-life-and-i-can-tell-a-pretty-good-story-and/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3d/artie-lange-7262_careers_but-i-live-an-interesting-life-and-i-can_2132180.jpg) > [Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/have-you-ever-googled-yourself-i-did-most-depressing-thing-ever/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ef/artie-lange-7262_depressing_have-you-ever-googled-yourself-i-did-mos_987027.jpg) > [Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-but-we-happen-to-be-funny-when/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a10/artie-lange-7262_comedian_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_1355227.jpg) > [The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-howard-stern-show-is-a-big-hit-because-it-entertains-dumb-and/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/artie-lange-7262_because_the-howard-stern-show-is-a-big-hit-becau_3124950.jpg) > [I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-m-like-the-master-of-ceremonies-being-funny-and-then-sometimes/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e35/artie-lange-7262_being_i-m-like-the-master-of-ceremonies-being_2285565.jpg) > [You know you're on stage being the life of the party and trying to get laughs, and then, in a lot of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/you-know-you-re-on-stage-being-the-life-of-the-party-and-trying-to/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40a/artie-lange-7262_anything_you-know-you-re-on-stage-being-the-life_3065036.jpg) > [Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-but-we-happen-to-be-funny-when-2/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg) > [I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-have-gay-friends-i-support-gay-rights-i-have-nothing-against-the/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cc/artie-lange-7262_community_i-have-gay-friends-i-support-gay-rights_2188234.jpg) > [I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, .. I think people have the same reaction. It reminds you of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-think-it-reminds-me-of-my-childhood-my-father-i-think-people-have/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/453/artie-lange-7262_carefree_i-think-it-reminds-me-of-my-childhood-my_2135792.jpg) > [A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-people-don-t-realize-this-he-s-a/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/978/artie-lange-7262_babe_a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-peo_210578.jpg) > [People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a-credit-to-howard-stern-the/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg) > [When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-first-time-i-discovered-that/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/artie-lange-7262_also_when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-f_1242274.jpg) ## Other authors on People - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sunday-adelaja-87912.jpg) Sunday Adelaja 856 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/sunday-adelaja/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-rush-limbaugh-81741.jpg) Rush Limbaugh 843 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/rush-limbaugh/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-donald-trump-30060.jpg) Donald Trump 724 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/donald-trump/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-barack-obama-16275.jpg) Barack Obama 624 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/barack-obama/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-frederick-lenz-36205.jpg) Frederick Lenz 488 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/frederick-lenz/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b011/author-hillary-clinton-42043.jpg) Hillary Clinton 367 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/hillary-clinton/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-w-bush-38036.jpg) George W. Bush 298 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/george-w-bush/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-noam-chomsky-71799.jpg) Noam Chomsky 286 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/noam-chomsky/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bernie-sanders-17420.jpg) Bernie Sanders 260 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/bernie-sanders/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-john-c-maxwell-51081.jpg) John C. Maxwell 249 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/john-c-maxwell/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 244 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/terry-pratchett/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bill-gates-17911.jpg) Bill Gates 223 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/bill-gates/) ## More by Artie Lange > [The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-point-of-drinking-in-moderation-is-that-sometimes-you-don-t-drink/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-is-funny-because-the-guy-who-is-my-boss-now-howard-stern-has-a/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-therapy-comedians-can-t-be/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-people-don-t-realize-this-he-s-a/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/at-the-mirage-sportsbook-you-can-get-a-line-on-2-kid-playing/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/of-course-in-show-business-there-are-two-ways-to-play-it-and-i-am-not/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/by-the-time-i-am-howard-s-age-i-hope-to-be-long-retired-i-don-t-plan/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-regular-guy-still-relates-to-him-and-howard-is-a-500-million-guy/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-only-reason-i-can-t-recommend-heroin-to-kids-is-because-the/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time-of-my-life/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/richard-lewis-has-this-incredible-ability-to-look-like-he-s-just-you/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/in-hollywood-there-is-another-name-for-a-woman-s-40th-birthday-party/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/everytime-i-go-to-vegas-i-seem-to-incur-some-kind-of-fine/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-not-a-drug-problem-until-you-run-out-of-money-until-then-it-s/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/artie-is-going-to-do-what-ever-artie-wants-to-do/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/artie-lange/#itemlist", "name": "12 People Quotes By Artie Lange", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. 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But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd want to punch him in the face; he'd just seem like a whiner to you. But the fact is that he's funny.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-but-we-happen-to-be-funny-when-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/artie-lange-7262_comedians_comedians-we-re-just-people-who-whine-bu_2267631.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-have-gay-friends-i-support-gay-rights-i-have-nothing-against-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cc/artie-lange-7262_community_i-have-gay-friends-i-support-gay-rights_2188234.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cc/artie-lange-7262_community_i-have-gay-friends-i-support-gay-rights_2188234.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1cc/artie-lange-7262_community_i-have-gay-friends-i-support-gay-rights_2188234.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, .. I think people have the same reaction. It reminds you of what it was like to be a kid, where everything is carefree and fun.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-think-it-reminds-me-of-my-childhood-my-father-i-think-people-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/453/artie-lange-7262_carefree_i-think-it-reminds-me-of-my-childhood-my_2135792.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/453/artie-lange-7262_carefree_i-think-it-reminds-me-of-my-childhood-my_2135792.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/453/artie-lange-7262_carefree_i-think-it-reminds-me-of-my-childhood-my_2135792.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think it reminds me of my childhood, my father, .. I think people have the same reaction. 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Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-people-don-t-realize-this-he-s-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/978/artie-lange-7262_babe_a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-peo_210578.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/978/artie-lange-7262_babe_a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-peo_210578.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/978/artie-lange-7262_babe_a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-peo_210578.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such a special thing. It took him a long time to create this family of fans, and I was lucky to be a part of that for a while.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a-credit-to-howard-stern-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People are so nice, you know. 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