---
title: "2 Penis Quotes By Darynda Jones"
description: "2 Penis quotes by Darynda Jones. Plus more from Darynda Jones and more Penis sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/darynda-jones-474_penis_oh-i-think-we-should-name-your-penis-the_1642061.png"
---

> [“Oh, I think we should name your penis the Vampire Lestat.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-i-think-we-should-name-your-penis-the-vampire-lestat/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04c/darynda-jones-474_penis_oh-i-think-we-should-name-your-penis-the_1642061.png)

> [“Never trust a man with a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/never-trust-a-man-with-a-penis/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5aa/darynda-jones-474_humor_never-trust-a-man-with-a-penis-1790702_1790702.png)

## Other authors on Penis

## More by Darynda Jones

> [He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/he-bombarded-me-with-words-of-all-things-apparently-clueless-to-the/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-have-three-words-for-you-emt-guy-said-possible-internal-bleeding-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/see-you-in-a-few-hold-down-the-fort-mr-wong/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/when-fighting-clowns-always-go-for-the-juggler/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/god-i-loved-sammy-i-d-considered-marrying-him-but-his-wife-got-upset/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/oh-my-god-i-don-t-know-what-do-you-want-you-he-said-his-voice/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“Las mujeres que se portan bien no suelen hacer historia.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/las-mujeres-que-se-portan-bien-no-suelen-hacer-historia/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/if-ever-there-was-a-time-to-carry-a-flashlight-it-would-definitely-be/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/in-three-hundred-feet-turn-right-darth-vader-said-the-darth-vader-i/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/the-asshole-slipped-peggy-a-five-spot-to-bring-him-his-burger-first/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-reported-to-work-the-next-morning-looking-like-something-the-cat/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [It isn’t the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/it-isn-t-the-fall-that-will-kill-you-but-the-sudden-stop/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“One day, I’m going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson.” I had no idea she was into anal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/one-day-i-m-going-to-get-to-the-bottom-of-you-charley-davidson-i-had/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“We should date." I laughed, curled him into my arms, and kissed the soft spot underneath his earlobe. "You're going to have to go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/we-should-date-i-laughed-curled-him-into-my-arms-and-kissed-the-soft/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [“A girl, a mocha latte, and a naked dead man walk into a bar,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/a-girl-a-mocha-latte-and-a-naked-dead-man-walk-into-a-bar/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

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