---
title: "47 Peeing Quotes by 39 authors"
description: "Browse 47 Peeing quotes by 39 authors. Discover the best Peeing sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/ron-57548_home-alone_home-alone-plan-party-reality-peeing-wit_1845282.jpg"
---

> [Home alone, plan:party reality:peeing with open door.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ron/home-alone-plan-party-reality-peeing-with-open-door/)

[Ron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ron/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/489/ron-57548_home-alone_home-alone-plan-party-reality-peeing-wit_1845282.jpg)

> ['Are you crying?' No I'm peeing through my eyes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/are-you-crying-no-i-m-peeing-through-my-eyes/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/717/anonymous-1_quote_are-you-crying-no-i-m-peeing-through-my_1299163.jpg)

> [“Seeing is Believing, Peeing is Relieving”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-zeidan/seeing-is-believing-peeing-is-relieving/)

[Robert Zeidan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-zeidan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c17/robert-zeidan-76215_faith_seeing-is-believing-peeing-is-relieving_971035.jpg)

> [Don't tell me it's raining when you're peeing on me!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/don-t-tell-me-it-s-raining-when-you-re-peeing-on-me/)

[Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e41/mason-cooley-92_peeing_don-t-tell-me-it-s-raining-when-you-re-p_3087083.png)

> [“Be careful when peeing in your pants. It does not always work.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-villar/be-careful-when-peeing-in-your-pants-it-does-not-always-work/)

[Richard Villar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-villar/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/763/richard-villar-87312_careful_be-careful-when-peeing-in-your-pants-it_221281.jpg)

> [“Peeing on a stick is not as easy as it sounds! #WhenRavensFall”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matilda-wren/peeing-on-a-stick-is-not-as-easy-as-it-sounds-whenravensfall/)

[Matilda Wren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matilda-wren/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/447/matilda-wren-101428_fall_peeing-on-a-stick-is-not-as-easy-as-it-s_36936.jpg)

> [“I saw a bear once. I was peeing then, too.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirsty-mckay/i-saw-a-bear-once-i-was-peeing-then-too/)

[Kirsty McKay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirsty-mckay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f5/kirsty-mckay-38492_undead_i-saw-a-bear-once-i-was-peeing-then-too_1333356.jpg)

> [I'll be peeing like a champion in no time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-leighton/i-ll-be-peeing-like-a-champion-in-no-time/)

[M. Leighton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-leighton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/743/m-leighton-786_champion_i-ll-be-peeing-like-a-champion-in-no-tim_977164.jpg)

> [I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-learned-this-summer-that-peeing-in-the-pool-and-peeing-into-the/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d78/demetri-martin-511_different_i-learned-this-summer-that-peeing-in-the_1929975.jpg)

> [There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/there-is-a-small-but-important-difference-between-peeing-in-the-pool/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac0/demetri-martin-511_differences_there-is-a-small-but-important-differenc_2817361.jpg)

> [Being paranoid about people hearing you in the bathroom while you're peeing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-paranoid-about-people-hearing-you-in-the-bathroom-while-you-re/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebc/anonymous-1_paranoid_being-paranoid-about-people-hearing-you_449945.jpg)

> [“You can watch me pee! It's okay! Here look, I'm peeing! I'm peeing! You can stop uprooting yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elle-casey/you-can-watch-me-pee-it-s-okay-here-look-i-m-peeing-i-m-peeing-you/)

[Elle Casey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elle-casey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4df/elle-casey-3650_fart_you-can-watch-me-pee-it-s-okay-here-look_489670.jpg)

> [“ 'bye. Great knowing you. Fun peeing next to you in the wave pool that one time...?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-strasnick/bye-great-knowing-you-fun-peeing-next-to-you-in-the-wave-pool-that/)

[Lauren Strasnick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-strasnick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6a/lauren-strasnick-76006_peeing_bye-great-knowing-you-fun-peeing-next-to_19194.jpg)

> [Friends are like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel its warmth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/friends-are-like-peeing-your-pants-everyone-can-see-it-but-only-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/anonymous-1_friends_friends-are-like-peeing-your-pants-every_2273603.jpg)

> [My One leg is in Past, Another leg is in future and I'm peeing on the Present.. Lmao](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vishak/my-one-leg-is-in-past-another-leg-is-in-future-and-i-m-peeing-on-the/)

[Vishak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vishak/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4b/vishak-15565_funny_my-one-leg-is-in-past-another-leg-is-in_589381.jpg)

> [“It was the perfect time and place for an inherently timid person like him to express his inner pervert by peeing in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryu-murakami/it-was-the-perfect-time-and-place-for-an-inherently-timid-person-like/)

[Ryū Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryu-murakami/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/666/ryu-murakami-8219_peeing_it-was-the-perfect-time-and-place-for-an_3078560.png)

> [“Well, there's two kinds of peeing...There's regular peeing, because you have to pee. And then there's auxiliary competitive peeing. For acquiring empire.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/merrill-markoe/well-there-s-two-kinds-of-peeing-there-s-regular-peeing-because-you/)

[Merrill Markoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/merrill-markoe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1f/merrill-markoe-11235_fart_well-there-s-two-kinds-of-peeing-there-s_2287529.jpg)

> [I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-bennett/i-saw-someone-peeing-in-jermym-street-the-other-day-i-thought-is-this/)

[Alan Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-bennett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b60/alan-bennett-1922_civilization_i-saw-someone-peeing-in-jermym-street-th_2418903.jpg)

> [“I love when I blow my nose while I’m peeing. Not only am I multitasking, but the pee comes out faster so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-alpert/i-love-when-i-blow-my-nose-while-i-m-peeing-not-only-am-i/)

[Karen Alpert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-alpert/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e0/karen-alpert-54733_fart_i-love-when-i-blow-my-nose-while-i-m-pee_386303.jpg)

> [“The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kendare-blake/the-rhythm-of-the-footsteps-the-sound-of-whatever-is-coming-down-the/)

[Kendare Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kendare-blake/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f80/kendare-blake-1667_attic_the-rhythm-of-the-footsteps-the-sound-of_1294327.jpg)

> [“There’s a difference between being a class act and being classy. Peeing off the side of a jeep doesn’t mean you’re not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-handler/there-s-a-difference-between-being-a-class-act-and-being-classy/)

[Chelsea Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-handler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf4/chelsea-handler-887_free-spirit_there-s-a-difference-between-being-a-cla_2141656.jpg)

> [You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-seinfeld/you-know-i-have-been-issued-a-public-urination-pass-by-the-city/)

[Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-seinfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/jerry-seinfeld-880_brother_you-know-i-have-been-issued-a-public-uri_999419.jpg)

> [“Why do you always come in to kiss me while I'm on the toilet?" I asked. "Makes us feel close to you,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/merrill-markoe/why-do-you-always-come-in-to-kiss-me-while-i-m-on-the-toilet-i-asked/)

[Merrill Markoe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/merrill-markoe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c32/merrill-markoe-11235_peeing_why-do-you-always-come-in-to-kiss-me-whi_2548888.jpg)

> [“How many times have you overanalyzed your every little action only to notice your cat peeing in full view of everyone, sometimes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francesco-marciuliano/how-many-times-have-you-overanalyzed-your-every-little-action-only-to/)

[Francesco Marciuliano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francesco-marciuliano/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0c9/francesco-marciuliano-54617_cats_how-many-times-have-you-overanalyzed-you_125767.jpg)

> [I peed in my wife's boot once. On honeymoon, in Madrid, we were drinking absinthe and somehow made it back to our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-corddry/i-peed-in-my-wife-s-boot-once-on-honeymoon-in-madrid-we-were-drinking/)

[Rob Corddry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-corddry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8d/rob-corddry-11844_absinthe_i-peed-in-my-wife-s-boot-once-on-honeymo_1964842.png)

> [“Look, there’s not much useful to take away from this book – it’s largely stories of a woman who has spent her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-silverman/look-there-s-not-much-useful-to-take-away-from-this-book-it-s-largely/)

[Sarah Silverman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-silverman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/efd/sarah-silverman-1212_book_look-there-s-not-much-useful-to-take-awa_2629644.png)

> [“I'm done peeing now." "Thank you for letting me know.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-park/i-m-done-peeing-now-thank-you-for-letting-me-know/)

[Jessica Park](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-park/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad7/jessica-park-1882_drunk_i-m-done-peeing-now-thank-you-for-lettin_2951758.jpg)

> [Peeing your pants is the coolest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-madison/peeing-your-pants-is-the-coolest/)

[Billy Madison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-madison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec4/billy-madison-20348_quote_peeing-your-pants-is-the-coolest-1043851_1043851.jpg)

> [“Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maegan-lynn-moores/okay-guys-stop-it-are-you-going-to-start-peeing-on-me-to-mark-your/)

[Maegan Lynn Moores](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maegan-lynn-moores/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/maegan-lynn-moores-50042_humor_okay-guys-stop-it-are-you-going-to-start_1107706.jpg)

> [I'd have more money than Bill Gates if I could invent a snooze button for bladders.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rock-cowles/i-d-have-more-money-than-bill-gates-if-i-could-invent-a-snooze-button/)

[Rock Cowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rock-cowles/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa3/rock-cowles-2590_humor_i-d-have-more-money-than-bill-gates-if-i_844741.jpg)

> [Emma: I'm going to start peeing with the door open, it's going to get weird.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/no-strings-attached-movie/emma-i-m-going-to-start-peeing-with-the-door-open-it-s-going-to-get/)

[No Strings Attached (Movie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/no-strings-attached-movie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/no-strings-attached-movie-2714_quote_emma-i-m-going-to-start-peeing-with-the_1093602.jpg)

> [Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it but only you can fell it](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becky/friendship-is-like-peeing-your-pants-everyone-can-see-it-but-only-you/)

[Becky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becky/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/004/becky-59307_friendship_friendship-is-like-peeing-your-pants-eve_2063718.jpg)

> [The most annoying thing just happened. Some girl just smiled at me when I was peeing on road for no reason.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/the-most-annoying-thing-just-happened-some-girl-just-smiled-at-me/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b16/nikhil-saluja-26_annoying_the-most-annoying-thing-just-happened-so_567547.jpg)

> [Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/peeing-is-like-a-good-book-in-that-it-is-very-very-hard-to-stop-once/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/03b/john-green-12_book_peeing-is-like-a-good-book-in-that-it-is_2419125.jpg)

> [“You know, because women be peeing themselves after they have babies.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tiffany-haddish/you-know-because-women-be-peeing-themselves-after-they-have-babies/)

[Tiffany Haddish](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tiffany-haddish/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/949/tiffany-haddish-12326_babies_you-know-because-women-be-peeing-themsel_3224885.jpg)

> [I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/penny-ward-moser/i-wonder-what-goes-through-his-mind-when-he-sees-us-peeing-in-his/)

[Penny Ward Moser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/penny-ward-moser/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f9/penny-ward-moser-269105_mind_i-wonder-what-goes-through-his-mind-when_1387273.jpg)

> [Friendship is like peeing yourself: everyone can see it but only you get that warm felling it brings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/friendship-is-like-peeing-yourself-everyone-can-see-it-but-only-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/598/anonymous-1_friendship_friendship-is-like-peeing-yourself-every_337631.jpg)

> [“Jennifer Slattery lived three doors down, but was still occasionally peeing her pants in the third grade, and Melanie”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-bate/jennifer-slattery-lived-three-doors-down-but-was-still-occasionally/)

[Dana Bate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-bate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08f/dana-bate-54521_peeing_jennifer-slattery-lived-three-doors-down_799030.jpg)

> [“There was nothing dignified about peeing behind a tree with your super-cute wilderness tour guide lurking nearby.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desni-dantone/there-was-nothing-dignified-about-peeing-behind-a-tree-with-your/)

[Desni Dantone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desni-dantone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f6/desni-dantone-70373_nature_there-was-nothing-dignified-about-peeing_1441953.jpg)

> [“I wanted to stop peeing but couldn't, of course. Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/i-wanted-to-stop-peeing-but-couldn-t-of-course-peeing-is-like-a-good/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f59/john-green-12_books_i-wanted-to-stop-peeing-but-couldn-t-of_32008.jpg)

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                        "text": "“Peeing on a stick is not as easy as it sounds! #WhenRavensFall”",
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                        "text": "“I saw a bear once. I was peeing then, too.”",
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                        "text": "I learned this summer that peeing in the pool and peeing INTO the pool are very different things. Location, Location, Location.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You can watch me pee! It's okay! Here look, I'm peeing! I'm peeing! You can stop uprooting yourself.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“ 'bye. Great knowing you. Fun peeing next to you in the wave pool that one time...?”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My One leg is in Past, Another leg is in future and I'm peeing on the Present.. Lmao",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“It was the perfect time and place for an inherently timid person like him to express his inner pervert by peeing in public.”",
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                        "text": "“Well, there's two kinds of peeing...There's regular peeing, because you have to pee. And then there's auxiliary competitive peeing. For acquiring empire. I'm all about the real estate.”",
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                        "text": "I saw someone peeing in Jermym Street the other day. I thought, is this the end of civilization as we know it? Or is it simply someone peeing in Jermyn Street?",
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                        "text": "“I love when I blow my nose while I’m peeing. Not only am I multitasking, but the pee comes out faster so I’m saving time. Awesome.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants.”",
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                        "text": "“Look, there’s not much useful to take away from this book – it’s largely stories of a woman who has spent her life peeing on herself. But there is one way I really believe I can help the world, and that is to encourage everyone, in all things, to “Make It a Treat”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?”",
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                        "text": "I'd have more money than Bill Gates if I could invent a snooze button for bladders.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Emma: I'm going to start peeing with the door open, it's going to get weird.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The most annoying thing just happened. Some girl just smiled at me when I was peeing on road for no reason.",
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                        "text": "Peeing is like a good book in that it is very, very hard to stop once you start.",
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                        "text": "I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.",
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