---
title: "1 Patient Doctor Quotes By Henny Youngman"
description: "1 Patient Doctor quotes by Henny Youngman. Plus more from Henny Youngman and more Patient Doctor sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/022/henny-youngman-1539_asks_the-doctor-says-to-the-patient-take-your_1709768.jpg"
---

> [The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-doctor-says-to-the-patient-take-your-clothes-off-and-stick-your/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/022/henny-youngman-1539_asks_the-doctor-says-to-the-patient-take-your_1709768.jpg)

## More by Henny Youngman

> [I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/i-take-my-wife-everywhere-but-she-keeps-finding-her-way-back/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/a-man-goes-to-a-psychiatrist-nobody-listens-to-me-the-doctor-says-next/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-other-brother-in-law-died-he-was-a-karate-expert-then-joined-the/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/i-have-a-car-that-i-call-flattery-because-it-gets-me-nowhere/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/i-ll-never-forget-my-first-words-in-the-theatre-peanuts-popcorn/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/a-car-hit-a-jewish-man-the-paramedic-says-are-you-comfortable-the-man/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-brother-then-bought-1000-japanese-cameras-they-all-go-crick/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-most-effective-way-to-remember-your-wife-s-birthday-is-to-forget/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-wife-is-a-light-eater-as-soon-as-it-s-light-she-starts-to-eat/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/just-got-back-from-a-pleasure-trip-i-took-my-mother-in-law-to-the/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-hotel-i-m-in-has-a-lovely-closet-a-nail/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/everytime-i-ask-what-time-it-is-i-get-a-different-answer/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/if-you-re-going-to-do-something-tonight-that-you-ll-be-sorry-for/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/psychiatrists-say-that-1-of-4-people-are-mentally-ill-check-3-friends/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/the-food-on-the-plane-was-fit-for-a-king-here-king/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

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