--- title: "12 Partners Quotes By Lundy Bancroft" description: "12 Partners quotes by Lundy Bancroft. Plus more from Lundy Bancroft and more Partners sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/395/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_3076797.jpg" --- > [Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his-partner-is-abuse-even-if-it-2/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/395/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_3076797.jpg) > [Never believe a man's claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/never-believe-a-man-s-claim-that-he-has-to-harm-his-partner-in-order/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_never-believe-a-man-s-claim-that-he-has_2363627.jpg) > [“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-scars-from-mental-cruelty-can-be-as-deep-and-long-lasting-as/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-scars-from-mental-cruelty-can-be-as_741162.jpg) > [“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/it-is-fine-to-commiserate-with-a-man-about-his-bad-experience-with-a/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/590/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-fine-to-commiserate-with-a-man-abo_2357095.jpg) > [One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you what you should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/one-of-the-prevalent-features-of-life-with-an-angry-or-controlling/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/472/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusive_one-of-the-prevalent-features-of-life-wi_498130.jpg) > [But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical-decision-you-can-make-is-to/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical_15356.jpg) > [“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop especially negative…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/it-is-important-to-note-that-research-has-shown-that-men-who-have/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/522/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-important-to-note-that-research-ha_2157705.jpg) > [The sense of ownership is one reason why abuse tends to get worse as relationships get more serious. The more history and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-sense-of-ownership-is-one-reason-why-abuse-tends-to-get-worse-as/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/745/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-sense-of-ownership-is-one-reason-why_2872488.jpg) > [The central attitudes driving the Demand Man are: It's your job to do things for me, including taking care of my responsibilities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-central-attitudes-driving-the-demand-man-are-it-s-your-job-to-do/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-central-attitudes-driving-the-demand_441159.jpg) > [“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/one-of-the-obstacles-to-recognizing-chronic-mistreatment-in/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3cd/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_one-of-the-obstacles-to-recognizing-chro_2264714.jpg) > [Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his-partner-is-abuse-even-if-it/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5da/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_1804379.jpg) > [Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/objectification-is-a-critical-reason-why-an-abuser-tends-to-get-worse-2/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusers_objectification-is-a-critical-reason-why_2158620.jpg) ## Other authors on Partners ## More by Lundy Bancroft > [But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of your life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical-decision-you-can-make-is-to/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“On some level he hopes that his ability to transport you sexually will tie you to him, so that he can have power over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/on-some-level-he-hopes-that-his-ability-to-transport-you-sexually/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“When people conclude that anger causes abuse, they are confusing cause and effect. Ray was not abusive because he was angry; he was angry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/when-people-conclude-that-anger-causes-abuse-they-are-confusing-cause/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“Abuse doesn’t come from people’s inability to resolve conflicts but from one person’s decision to claim a higher status than another. So while it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/abuse-doesn-t-come-from-people-s-inability-to-resolve-conflicts-but/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [Few people are aware of the severe human rights violations committed daily by family court judges across the country. These courts are siding over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/few-people-are-aware-of-the-severe-human-rights-violations-committed/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-woman-knows-from-living-with-the-abusive-man-that-there-are-no/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“In short, the abusive mentality is the mentality of oppression.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/in-short-the-abusive-mentality-is-the-mentality-of-oppression/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“When we hear these kinds of excuses from a drunk, we assume they are exactly that—excuses. We don’t consider an active alcoholic a reliable…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/when-we-hear-these-kinds-of-excuses-from-a-drunk-we-assume-they-are/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“Abuse is not his goal, but control is, and he finds himself using abuse to gain the control he feels he has a right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/abuse-is-not-his-goal-but-control-is-and-he-finds-himself-using-abuse/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“The central attitudes driving Rambo are: Strength and aggressiveness are good; compassion and conflict resolution are bad. Anything that could be even remotely associated…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-central-attitudes-driving-rambo-are-strength-and-aggressiveness/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“HE ISN’T ABUSIVE BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY; HE’S ANGRY BECAUSE HE’S ABUSIVE.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/he-isn-t-abusive-because-he-is-angry-he-s-angry-because-he-s-abusive/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-downs. Early generosity turning more and more to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-symptoms-of-abuse-are-there-and-the-woman-usually-sees-them-the/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“ALCOHOL HAS NO BIOLOGICAL CONNECTION TO ABUSE OR VIOLENCE Alcohol does not directly make people belligerent, aggressive, or violent. There is evidence that certain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/alcohol-has-no-biological-connection-to-abuse-or-violence-alcohol/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“The central attitudes driving the Terrorist are: You have no right to defy me or leave me. Your life is in my hands. Women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-central-attitudes-driving-the-terrorist-are-you-have-no-right-to/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) > [“Boys’ aggressiveness is increasingly being treated as a medical problem, particularly in schools, a trend that has led to the diagnosing and medicating of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/boys-aggressiveness-is-increasingly-being-treated-as-a-medical/) [Lundy Bancroft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lundy-bancroft/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/partners/lundy-bancroft/#itemlist", "name": "12 Partners Quotes By Lundy Bancroft", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his-partner-is-abuse-even-if-it-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/395/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_3076797.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/395/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_3076797.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/395/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_3076797.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once.” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Never believe a man's claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/never-believe-a-man-s-claim-that-he-has-to-harm-his-partner-in-order/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_never-believe-a-man-s-claim-that-he-has_2363627.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_never-believe-a-man-s-claim-that-he-has_2363627.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_never-believe-a-man-s-claim-that-he-has_2363627.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Never believe a man's claim that he has to harm his partner in order to protect her; only abusers think this…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-scars-from-mental-cruelty-can-be-as-deep-and-long-lasting-as/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-scars-from-mental-cruelty-can-be-as_741162.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-scars-from-mental-cruelty-can-be-as_741162.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-scars-from-mental-cruelty-can-be-as_741162.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her as an excuse to mistreat you, stop believing anything he tells you about that relationship and instead recognize it as a sign that he has problems with relating to women.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/it-is-fine-to-commiserate-with-a-man-about-his-bad-experience-with-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/590/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-fine-to-commiserate-with-a-man-abo_2357095.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/590/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-fine-to-commiserate-with-a-man-abo_2357095.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/590/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-fine-to-commiserate-with-a-man-abo_2357095.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you what you should think and tries to get you to doubt or devalue your own perceptions and beliefs.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/one-of-the-prevalent-features-of-life-with-an-angry-or-controlling/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/472/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusive_one-of-the-prevalent-features-of-life-wi_498130.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/472/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusive_one-of-the-prevalent-features-of-life-wi_498130.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/472/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusive_one-of-the-prevalent-features-of-life-wi_498130.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One of the prevalent features of life with an angry or controlling partner is that he frequently tells you…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the lens of your life, always forcing his way into the center of the picture. You deserve to have your life be about you; you are worth it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical-decision-you-can-make-is-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical_15356.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical_15356.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bda/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_but-whether-you-stay-or-go-the-critical_15356.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But whether you stay or go, the critical decision you can make is to stop letting your partner distort the…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop especially negative attitudes toward females, but men who have abusive fathers do; the disrespect that abusive men show their female partners and their daughters is often absorbed by their sons. So while a small number of abusive men do hate women, the great majority exhibit a more subtle—though often quite pervasive—sense of superiority or contempt toward females, and some don’t show any obvious signs of problems with women at all until they are in a serious relationship.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/it-is-important-to-note-that-research-has-shown-that-men-who-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/522/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-important-to-note-that-research-ha_2157705.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/522/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-important-to-note-that-research-ha_2157705.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/522/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_it-is-important-to-note-that-research-ha_2157705.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is important to note that research has shown that men who have abusive mothers do not tend to develop…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The sense of ownership is one reason why abuse tends to get worse as relationships get more serious. The more history and commitment that develop in the couple, the more the abuser comes to think of his partner as a prized object. Possessiveness is at the core of the abuser's mindset, the spring from which all the other streams spout; on some level he feels that he owns you and therefore has the right to treat you as he sees fit.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-sense-of-ownership-is-one-reason-why-abuse-tends-to-get-worse-as/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/745/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-sense-of-ownership-is-one-reason-why_2872488.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/745/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-sense-of-ownership-is-one-reason-why_2872488.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/745/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-sense-of-ownership-is-one-reason-why_2872488.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The sense of ownership is one reason why abuse tends to get worse as relationships get more serious. The…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The central attitudes driving the Demand Man are: It's your job to do things for me, including taking care of my responsibilities if I drop the ball on them. If I'm unhappy about any aspect of my life, whether it has to do with our relationship or not, it's your fault. You should not place demands on me at all. You should be grateful for whatever I choose to give. I am above criticism. I am a very loving and giving partner. You're lucky to have me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/the-central-attitudes-driving-the-demand-man-are-it-s-your-job-to-do/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-central-attitudes-driving-the-demand_441159.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-central-attitudes-driving-the-demand_441159.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/07b/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_the-central-attitudes-driving-the-demand_441159.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The central attitudes driving the Demand Man are: It's your job to do things for me, including taking care…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/one-of-the-obstacles-to-recognizing-chronic-mistreatment-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3cd/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_one-of-the-obstacles-to-recognizing-chro_2264714.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3cd/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_one-of-the-obstacles-to-recognizing-chro_2264714.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3cd/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_one-of-the-obstacles-to-recognizing-chro_2264714.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches a hole in the wall; throws things at you; blocks your way; restrains you; grabs, pushes, or pokes you; or threatens to hurt you, that's physical abuse. He is creating fear and using your need for physical freedom and safety as a way to control you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his-partner-is-abuse-even-if-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5da/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_1804379.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5da/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_1804379.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5da/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_1804379.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of cruelty-he builds to the next. By depersonalizing his partner, the abuser protects himself from the natural human emotions of guilt and empathy, so that he can sleep at night with a clear conscience. He distances himself so far from her humanity that her feelings no longer count, or simply cease to exist.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Lundy Bancroft" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lundy-bancroft/objectification-is-a-critical-reason-why-an-abuser-tends-to-get-worse-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusers_objectification-is-a-critical-reason-why_2158620.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusers_objectification-is-a-critical-reason-why_2158620.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/lundy-bancroft-6837_abusers_objectification-is-a-critical-reason-why_2158620.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to…” — Lundy Bancroft", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/partners/lundy-bancroft/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/partners/lundy-bancroft/", "name": "Partners Quotes by Lundy Bancroft", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/partners/lundy-bancroft/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/395/lundy-bancroft-6837_abuse_physical-aggression-by-a-man-toward-his_3076797.jpg" }, "description": "12 Partners quotes by Lundy Bancroft. 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