---
title: "32 Parenting Quotes By Janet Evanovich"
description: "32 Parenting quotes by Janet Evanovich. Plus more from Janet Evanovich and more Parenting sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ff/janet-evanovich-291_doe_does-your-mother-know-that-you-re-carryi_1079429.png"
---

> [Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/does-your-mother-know-that-you-re-carrying-a-gun-i-m-going-to-tell/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ff/janet-evanovich-291_doe_does-your-mother-know-that-you-re-carryi_1079429.png)

> [“In my father’s scheme of things, there were Italians and then there was the rest of the world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/in-my-father-s-scheme-of-things-there-were-italians-and-then-there/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d72/janet-evanovich-291_father_in-my-father-s-scheme-of-things-there-we_914370.png)

> [I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-guessed-my-mother-figured-if-my-father-got-right-down-to-the-task/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d1/janet-evanovich-291_eating_i-guessed-my-mother-figured-if-my-father_22543.png)

> [“Holy Mary, mother of God," my mother said. "You were being chased by Richard Nixon, Bill Clinton, and a rabbit.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/holy-mary-mother-of-god-my-mother-said-you-were-being-chased-by/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b3/janet-evanovich-291_holy-mary_holy-mary-mother-of-god-my-mother-said-y_409221.png)

> [“I don't want a new man." "I'll be dead someday," my mother said. "And then what? You'll wish you had someone." "I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-don-t-want-a-new-man-i-ll-be-dead-someday-my-mother-said-and-then/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/733/janet-evanovich-291_humor-relationships_i-don-t-want-a-new-man-i-ll-be-dead-some_2708914.png)

> [I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-see-you-looking-at-my-cookies-my-father-said-to-morelli-don-t-even/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e27/janet-evanovich-291_cookies_i-see-you-looking-at-my-cookies-my-fathe_2893976.png)

> [You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-must-be-a-terrible-burden-to-your-mother-i-am-feeling-so-sorry/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5e/janet-evanovich-291_burden_you-must-be-a-terrible-burden-to-your-mo_1244037.png)

> [My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-mother-drove-back-to-the-intersection-who-are-you-dating-don-t-ask/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1e/janet-evanovich-291_batman_my-mother-drove-back-to-the-intersection_2561702.png)

> [“My father is an equal opportunity bigot. He wouldn’t deprive a man of his rights. And he’s not a hate-filled man. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-father-is-an-equal-opportunity-bigot-he-wouldn-t-deprive-a-man-of/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf8/janet-evanovich-291_bigot_my-father-is-an-equal-opportunity-bigot_1590168.png)

> [My father was in the kitchen putting a new washer in the kitchen faucet. He looked relieved to see Morelli standing in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-father-was-in-the-kitchen-putting-a-new-washer-in-the-kitchen/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a8/janet-evanovich-291_butchers_my-father-was-in-the-kitchen-putting-a-n_1473838.png)

> [She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/she-doesn-t-know-cate-said-kellen-is-a-secret-i-didn-t-think-my/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91e/janet-evanovich-291_jobs_she-doesn-t-know-cate-said-kellen-is-a-s_2439934.png)

> [“Does your mother know that you're carrying a gun? I'm going to tell her. I'm going to call and tell her right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/does-your-mother-know-that-you-re-carrying-a-gun-i-m-going-to-tell-2/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3b/janet-evanovich-291_front-door_does-your-mother-know-that-you-re-carryi_1710156.jpg)

> [“Nothing Personal? You've harrassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/nothing-personal-you-ve-harrassed-my-mother-stolen-my-car-and-now-you/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bf/janet-evanovich-291_bounty-hunter_nothing-personal-you-ve-harrassed-my-mot_2894649.jpg)

> [“OKAY, SO HERE’S the thing. My mother’s worst fear has come true. I’m a nymphomaniac. I lust after a lot of men.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/okay-so-here-s-the-thing-my-mother-s-worst-fear-has-come-true-i-m-a/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/126/janet-evanovich-291_fear_okay-so-here-s-the-thing-my-mother-s-wor_1686104.png)

> [I rushed us out of your parents' house because I didn't think I could manage two hours at the dinner table with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-rushed-us-out-of-your-parents-house-because-i-didn-t-think-i-could/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af0/janet-evanovich-291_dinner_i-rushed-us-out-of-your-parents-house-be_2004826.png)

> [Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/stephanie-valerie-said-she-s-going-to-have-a-baby-and-she-s-getting/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/649/janet-evanovich-291_baby_stephanie-valerie-said-she-s-going-to-ha_626519.jpg)

> [ He \[Ranger\] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents-house-and-we-both-looked-to/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/248/janet-evanovich-291_babe_he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents_2142810.png)

> [“Yeah. Almost as surprising as when you nailed me with your father's car." In the interest of avoiding confrontation, I felt compelled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/yeah-almost-as-surprising-as-when-you-nailed-me-with-your-father-s/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea1/janet-evanovich-291_accident_yeah-almost-as-surprising-as-when-you-na_1581550.png)

> [“My mother came into the kitchen. “Whose car is that parked in front of our house?” “That’s Stephanie’s new car,” Grandma said.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-mother-came-into-the-kitchen-whose-car-is-that-parked-in-front-of/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac7/janet-evanovich-291_mother-and-grandmoth_my-mother-came-into-the-kitchen-whose-ca_1906506.png)

> [“Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/grandma-has-a-45-long-barrel-that-she-keeps-hidden-from-my-mother-she/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a09/janet-evanovich-291_grandma-mazur_grandma-has-a-45-long-barrel-that-she-ke_692062.jpg)

> [“This is a little awkward," I said, "but my mother just ran over the rabbit." "Ran over?" "As in roadkill. We're not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/this-is-a-little-awkward-i-said-but-my-mother-just-ran-over-the/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f1/janet-evanovich-291_humor_this-is-a-little-awkward-i-said-but-my-m_1536804.png)

> [Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/maybe-it-s-just-not-the-right-time-for-us-to-be-married-i-don-t-want/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ced/janet-evanovich-291_being-married_maybe-it-s-just-not-the-right-time-for-u_1920705.jpg)

> [“You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother. “I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-sure-you-don-t-want-to-go-grandma-mazur-asked-my-mother-i-didn-t/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/122/janet-evanovich-291_better-things_you-sure-you-don-t-want-to-go-grandma-ma_2165970.jpg)

> [Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/grandma-mazur-stood-two-feet-back-from-my-mother-i-gotta-get-me-a/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da2/janet-evanovich-291_bikers_grandma-mazur-stood-two-feet-back-from-m_2309214.png)

> [“My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-mother-fainted-crash-onto-the-floor-with-the-big-wooden-spoon/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bf/janet-evanovich-291_fainted_my-mother-fainted-crash-onto-the-floor-w_2555040.png)

> [“My father would eat cat shit if it was salted, fried, or frosted, but it took an act of Congress to get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-father-would-eat-cat-shit-if-it-was-salted-fried-or-frosted-but-it/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce3/janet-evanovich-291_parenting_my-father-would-eat-cat-shit-if-it-was-s_1322087.png)

> [“Shit for brains,” Leo’s father said. “That’s what you got … shit for brains.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/shit-for-brains-leo-s-father-said-that-s-what-you-got-shit-for-brains/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/040/janet-evanovich-291_parenting_shit-for-brains-leo-s-father-said-that-s_471735.png)

> [“My mother slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes. “Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie, what are you thinking of? This is no kind of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-mother-slapped-her-forehead-and-rolled-her-eyes-stephanie/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/129/janet-evanovich-291_parenting_my-mother-slapped-her-forehead-and-rolle_3062053.jpg)

> [My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-mother-had-been-slicing-up-the-chicken-she-took-a-drumstick-and/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fe/janet-evanovich-291_chickens_my-mother-had-been-slicing-up-the-chicke_551053.png)

> [My father hired you to protect me," Ahmed said, "not to go off chasing men." Grandma leaned forward, keeping her eye on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-father-hired-you-to-protect-me-ahmed-said-not-to-go-off-chasing/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27b/janet-evanovich-291_avenging_my-father-hired-you-to-protect-me-ahmed_1293003.png)

> [Everyone knows you can't see death cooties. Take my word for it, that couch has the biggest, fattest death cooties that ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/everyone-knows-you-can-t-see-death-cooties-take-my-word-for-it-that/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f4/janet-evanovich-291_cooties_everyone-knows-you-can-t-see-death-cooti_669924.png)

> [“My mother was in the kitchen ironing. Physically she’s a younger version of my Grandma Mazur, and physically I’m a younger version…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-mother-was-in-the-kitchen-ironing-physically-she-s-a-younger/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/809/janet-evanovich-291_family_my-mother-was-in-the-kitchen-ironing-phy_222795.jpg)

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## More by Janet Evanovich

> [“His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/his-pager-beeped-and-he-looked-at-the-readout-i-have-to-get-back-to/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-gonna-take-the-case-it-s-not-a-case-it-s-a-missing-person-sort-of/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/are-we-fighting-i-asked-morelli-no-were-discussing-are-you-sure-am-i/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/changed-expression-wariness-maybe-i-felt-a-body-move-so-close-it-was/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-need-to-look-like-an-idiot-at-least-twice-a-day-to-keep-myself/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/mooner-was-walking-around-laying-his-hands-on-the-cars-divining-karma/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/ranger-was-waiting-he-was-dressed-in-black-slacks-a-form-fitting/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-guessed-my-mother-figured-if-my-father-got-right-down-to-the-task/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-can-get-through-very-serious-and-sometimes-horrible-and-sometimes/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [Way back before the 'Alex Barnaby' series was first published, we were talking with Dark Horse then about making it into a graphic novel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/way-back-before-the-alex-barnaby-series-was-first-published-we-were/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I made a choice that I was not going to be a pretentious writer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-made-a-choice-that-i-was-not-going-to-be-a-pretentious-writer/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-wears-jeans-untucked-shirts-and-a-glock-19-and-he-has-a-big-shaggy/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I write to entertain. When people read one of my books I want them to finish with a smile on their faces, feeling a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-write-to-entertain-when-people-read-one-of-my-books-i-want-them-to/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“I hate shopping for clothes," Kate said. "I liked when I was in the military and all I needed was camouflage gear." "Shopping can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-hate-shopping-for-clothes-kate-said-i-liked-when-i-was-in-the/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“I’m told there’s a paint specialist in Denver who does wonderful work,” Judy said. “I’ve started a GoFundMe page for Mr. Murphy.” “That’s a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-m-told-there-s-a-paint-specialist-in-denver-who-does-wonderful-work/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

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                        "text": "You must be a terrible burden to your mother. I am feeling so sorry for her not to have a proper daughter.\" Mrs. Apusenja - To the Nines",
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                        "text": "Stephanie,' Valerie said. 'She's going to have a baby, and she's getting married.' My father was confused. He looked around the room. No Joe. No Ranger. His eyes locked on Diesel. 'Not the psycho,' he said. Diesel blew out a sigh. My father turned to my mother. 'Get me the carving knife. Make sure it's sharp.",
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                        "text": "He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. \"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me,\" Ranger said. [Stephanie] \"She wants to see you naked.\" \"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe.\" \"Everyone I know wants to see you naked.\" \"And you?\" \"Never crossed my mind.\" I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.",
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                        "text": "“Yeah. Almost as surprising as when you nailed me with your father's car.\" In the interest of avoiding confrontation, I felt compelled to explain. I didn't feel obliged to do it convincingly. \"It was an accident. My foot slipped.\" \"That was no accident. You jumped the goddamn curb and followed me down the sidewalk.”",
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                        "text": "“My mother came into the kitchen. “Whose car is that parked in front of our house?” “That’s Stephanie’s new car,” Grandma said. “Isn’t it a pip?” One of my mother’s eyebrows raised in question. “Two new cars? Where are these cars coming from?” “Company cars,” I said. “Oh?” “Anal sex is not involved,” I told her. My mother and grandmother both gasped. “Sorry,” I said. “It just slipped out.” “I thought only homosexual men did anal sex,” Grandma said. “Anybody with an anus can do it,” I told her. “Hmm,” she said. “I got one of them.”",
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                        "text": "“Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.”",
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                        "text": "“This is a little awkward,\" I said, \"but my mother just ran over the rabbit.\" \"Ran over?\" \"As in roadkill. We're not sure what to do about it.\" \"Where are you?\" \"Giovichinni's, buying lunch meat.\" \"And the rabbit?\" \"Gone. He was with two other guys. They scooped him up off the road and drove away with him.\" There was a long silence on the phone. \"I'm fucking speechless,\" Morelli finally said.”",
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                        "text": "Maybe it's just not the right time for us to be married. I don't want to be a bounty hunter for the rest of my life, but I certainly don't want to be a housewife right now. And I really don't want to be married to someone who gives me ultimatums. And maybe Joe needs to examine what he wants from a wife. He was raised in a traditional Italian household with a stay-at-home mother and domineering father. If he wants a wife who will fit into that mold, I'm not for him. I might be a stay-at-home mother someday, but I'll always be trying to fly off the garage roof. That's just who I am.",
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                        "text": "“You sure you don't want to go?” Grandma Mazur asked my mother. “I didn't know Moogey Bues,” my mother told her. “I've got better things to do than to go to a viewing of a perfect stranger.” “I wouldn't go either,” Grandma Mazur said, “but I'm helping Stephanie with this here manhunt. Maybe Kenny Mancuso will show up, and Stephanie will need some extra muscle. I was watching Television, and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.” “She's your responsibility,” my mother said to me. “She sticks her fingers in anybody's eyes I'm holding you accountable.”",
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                        "text": "Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. \"I gotta get me a pair if those,\" she said, eyeballing my shorts. \"I've still got pretty good legs, you know.\" She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. \"What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?\" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.",
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                        "text": "“My mother fainted. Crash, onto the floor with the big wooden spoon still in her hand.”",
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                        "text": "“Shit for brains,” Leo’s father said. “That’s what you got … shit for brains.”",
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                        "text": "“My mother slapped her forehead and rolled her eyes. “Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie, what are you thinking of? This is no kind of work for a nice young lady.”",
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                        "text": "My mother had been slicing up the chicken. She took a drumstick and dropped it on the floor. She kicked it around a little, picked it up and put it on the edge of the plate. \"There,\" she said, \"we'll give him this drumstick.\" \"Deal.",
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