---
title: "68 Oral Sex Quotes by 59 authors"
description: "Browse 68 Oral Sex quotes by 59 authors. Discover the best Oral Sex sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/671/anonymous-1_sex-education_oral-sex-reduces-risk-of-stroke-both-giv_2248019.jpg"
---

> [Oral sex reduces risk of stroke, both giving & receiving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/oral-sex-reduces-risk-of-stroke-both-giving-receiving/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/671/anonymous-1_sex-education_oral-sex-reduces-risk-of-stroke-both-giv_2248019.jpg)

> [So you're saying I'm not allowed to have oral sex with an intern either?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-gregory-house/so-you-re-saying-i-m-not-allowed-to-have-oral-sex-with-an-intern/)

[Dr Gregory House](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-gregory-house/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/901/dr-gregory-house-21709_allowed_so-you-re-saying-i-m-not-allowed-to-have_2307804.jpg)

> [Oral sex reduces risk of gum disease and cancer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/oral-sex-reduces-risk-of-gum-disease-and-cancer/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acf/anonymous-1_sex-education_oral-sex-reduces-risk-of-gum-disease-and_1762196.jpg)

> [Oral sex: the taste of things to come.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/oral-sex-the-taste-of-things-to-come/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f49/nikhil-saluja-26_oral_oral-sex-the-taste-of-things-to-come-572_572017.jpg)

> [Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mallory-ortberg/reciprocating-oral-sex-is-in-general-a-very-good-idea/)

[Mallory Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mallory-ortberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5f/mallory-ortberg-7200_good-ideas_reciprocating-oral-sex-is-in-general-a-v_1480839.jpg)

> [If you dont believe in Oral Sex, keep your mouth shut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-dont-believe-in-oral-sex-keep-your-mouth-shut/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57f/anonymous-1_sex-education_if-you-dont-believe-in-oral-sex-keep-you_1236809.jpg)

> [You know the worst thing about oral sex ? The view.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maureen-lipman/you-know-the-worst-thing-about-oral-sex-the-view/)

[Maureen Lipman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maureen-lipman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae9/maureen-lipman-4256_sex_you-know-the-worst-thing-about-oral-sex_1745789.png)

> [If you're not into Oral Sex... Then keep your mouth shut..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/green-monk/if-you-re-not-into-oral-sex-then-keep-your-mouth-shut/)

[Green Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/green-monk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f71/green-monk-388_funny_if-you-re-not-into-oral-sex-then-keep-yo_2652428.jpg)

> [ What I've learned is that love is made up of three ingredients: consideration, spontaneity, and \[whispers\] oral sex for guys and women. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damien-lemon/what-i-ve-learned-is-that-love-is-made-up-of-three-ingredients/)

[Damien Lemon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damien-lemon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d30/damien-lemon-61122_consideration_what-i-ve-learned-is-that-love-is-made-u_533548.jpg)

> [“I was not aware he could not enter a vagina at all or never had oral sex done to him.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/connie-r-keeling/i-was-not-aware-he-could-not-enter-a-vagina-at-all-or-never-had-oral/)

[Connie R. Keeling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/connie-r-keeling/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eae/connie-r-keeling-107490_oral_i-was-not-aware-he-could-not-enter-a-vag_3064310.jpg)

> [“In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a vegetarian." Mia lifted her glass and took a sip. "Hm. Does that mean no oral…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ava-gray/in-case-you-hadn-t-noticed-i-m-a-vegetarian-mia-lifted-her-glass-and/)

[Ava Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ava-gray/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b58/ava-gray-35569_vegetarian_in-case-you-hadn-t-noticed-i-m-a-vegetar_3044380.jpg)

> [I like to see oral sex and manual sex and intercourse as foreplay for my vibrator sex.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-dodson/i-like-to-see-oral-sex-and-manual-sex-and-intercourse-as-foreplay-for/)

[Betty Dodson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-dodson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/betty-dodson-15856_oral-sex_i-like-to-see-oral-sex-and-manual-sex-an_1313820.jpg)

> [Shark Week has reminded me that we really need to discuss your oral sex technique...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/shark-week-has-reminded-me-that-we-really-need-to-discuss-your-oral/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcb/anonymous-1_fish_shark-week-has-reminded-me-that-we-reall_57780.jpg)

> [Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-bush/clinton-lied-a-man-might-forget-where-he-parks-or-where-he-lives-but-3/)

[Barbara Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-bush/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebc/barbara-bush-4569_lied_clinton-lied-a-man-might-forget-where-he_2719501.png)

> [You know, there are ways not to perform oral sex if you didn’t want to do it,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-lemon/you-know-there-are-ways-not-to-perform-oral-sex-if-you-didn-t-want-to/)

[Don Lemon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-lemon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1f/don-lemon-10223_ifs_you-know-there-are-ways-not-to-perform-o_1335403.jpg)

> [I hope my anus and genitals roasting in 95-degree weather all day doesn't turn you off from giving me oral sex tonight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-hope-my-anus-and-genitals-roasting-in-95-degree-weather-all-day/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c1/anonymous-1_funny_i-hope-my-anus-and-genitals-roasting-in_1488530.jpg)

> [“Did you hear the oral sex in the pool part?" she asked. "Yeah, sorry." "Don't be," she said, "You didn't lick that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-dalton/did-you-hear-the-oral-sex-in-the-pool-part-she-asked-yeah-sorry-don-t/)

[Ian Dalton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-dalton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38f/ian-dalton-243347_oral-sex_did-you-hear-the-oral-sex-in-the-pool-pa_678610.jpg)

> [Is a BJ adultery? What? Did I miss a day of school? Of course it is! Oral sex is adultery like Curling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-black/is-a-bj-adultery-what-did-i-miss-a-day-of-school-of-course-it-is-oral/)

[Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-black/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/063/lewis-black-1143_adultery_is-a-bj-adultery-what-did-i-miss-a-day-o_758977.png)

> [I asked a high school girl about unreciprocated oral sex and said, "What if guys were asking you to get them a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peggy-orenstein/i-asked-a-high-school-girl-about-unreciprocated-oral-sex-and-said/)

[Peggy Orenstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peggy-orenstein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c3d/peggy-orenstein-11585_asking_i-asked-a-high-school-girl-about-unrecip_2389706.jpg)

> [“It was informational. About how to perform oral sex on men. You know, one man teaching another. It was really fascinating and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shelly-laurenston/it-was-informational-about-how-to-perform-oral-sex-on-men-you-know/)

[Shelly Laurenston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shelly-laurenston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f1/shelly-laurenston-1018_discussed_it-was-informational-about-how-to-perfor_493214.jpg)

> [“I like everything you do to me." "In that case"- he flipped her onto her back again, spread her thighs- "I think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nalini-singh/i-like-everything-you-do-to-me-in-that-case-he-flipped-her-onto-her/)

[Nalini Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nalini-singh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/349/nalini-singh-293_oral-sex_i-like-everything-you-do-to-me-in-that-c_2859917.png)

> [“You know what we need? We need to get jobs, get the fuck out of that crazy house,' Natalie said, dipping a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/you-know-what-we-need-we-need-to-get-jobs-get-the-fuck-out-of-that/)

[Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcf/augusten-burroughs-603_oral-sex_you-know-what-we-need-we-need-to-get-job_2171309.png)

> [“Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, lies, intrigue, clowns, kleptomania, anal sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, bad driving, good cooking, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-b-gregg/warning-this-book-contains-graphic-language-sex-lies-intrigue-clowns/)

[L.B. Gregg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-b-gregg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f6/l-b-gregg-65912_book_warning-this-book-contains-graphic-langu_1975550.jpg)

> [“For the record, if you tried to make me wait for oral sex, I’d be tempted to kill someone.” “Then it’s a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-march/for-the-record-if-you-tried-to-make-me-wait-for-oral-sex-i-d-be/)

[Meghan March](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-march/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f4/meghan-march-3897_good-thing_for-the-record-if-you-tried-to-make-me-w_852188.jpg)

> [“It's hard to imagine talking to Lucy. But I can imagine sleeping with her. I have been imagining it quite regularly. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blake-nelson/it-s-hard-to-imagine-talking-to-lucy-but-i-can-imagine-sleeping-with/)

[Blake Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blake-nelson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20a/blake-nelson-26297_bad-thing_it-s-hard-to-imagine-talking-to-lucy-but_77718.jpg)

> [“Julia's sexual tastes were more influenced by culture than Rob's. Men want to do the same sexual acts regardless of education levels,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-brooks/julia-s-sexual-tastes-were-more-influenced-by-culture-than-rob-s-men/)

[David Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-brooks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a4/david-brooks-644_educated-women_julia-s-sexual-tastes-were-more-influenc_1974926.jpg)

> [“Figure out another way to explain me. I don’t care what you come up with. But if you call me your latest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/figure-out-another-way-to-explain-me-i-don-t-care-what-you-come-up/)

[Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f54/karen-marie-moning-189_lips_figure-out-another-way-to-explain-me-i-d_2909997.jpg)

> [The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You got to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wanda-sykes/the-president-is-on-national-tv-apologizing-for-getting-oral-sex-why/)

[Wanda Sykes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wanda-sykes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d83/wanda-sykes-3827_accepting_the-president-is-on-national-tv-apologiz_1097919.jpg)

> [Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-romano/sex-after-one-child-shows-down-after-twins-ooh-i-ll-tell-you-what-it/)

[Ray Romano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-romano/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/796/ray-romano-3515_children_sex-after-one-child-shows-down-after-twi_207260.jpg)

> [Hey, folks, look at all the damage that Bill Clinton has done to feminism. First, oral sex is not sex now. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/hey-folks-look-at-all-the-damage-that-bill-clinton-has-done-to/)

[Rush Limbaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rush-limbaugh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcd/rush-limbaugh-28_bills_hey-folks-look-at-all-the-damage-that-bi_2407514.jpg)

> [“I learned the rule about lesbians’ nipples from the porn books my stepfather kept under his mattress, the same place I had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-allison/i-learned-the-rule-about-lesbians-nipples-from-the-porn-books-my/)

[Dorothy Allison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-allison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/678/dorothy-allison-2041_books_i-learned-the-rule-about-lesbians-nipple_2106257.jpg)

> [“What about the jerks who think good oral sex consists of sucking your clit so hard it feels like you're stuck to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elle-aycart/what-about-the-jerks-who-think-good-oral-sex-consists-of-sucking-your/)

[Elle Aycart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elle-aycart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4bd/elle-aycart-15639_sucking_what-about-the-jerks-who-think-good-oral_2375042.jpg)

> [“EXERCISE Creating Authentic Relationships The questions below deal with issues most people take for granted and let society define for them. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tristan-taormino/exercise-creating-authentic-relationships-the-questions-below-deal/)

[Tristan Taormino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tristan-taormino/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/421/tristan-taormino-25809_blank-canvas_exercise-creating-authentic-relationship_75293.jpg)

> [“You know the one about the old man whose grandson is getting married? Just before the wedding, he calls the boy in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-manette-ansay/you-know-the-one-about-the-old-man-whose-grandson-is-getting-married/)

[A. Manette Ansay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-manette-ansay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8b/a-manette-ansay-44525_getting-married_you-know-the-one-about-the-old-man-whose_1710923.jpg)

> [“How To Tell If Somebody Loves You: Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-o-connell/how-to-tell-if-somebody-loves-you-somebody-loves-you-if-they-pick-an/)

[Ryan O'Connell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-o-connell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e9/ryan-o-connell-43076_body-love_how-to-tell-if-somebody-loves-you-somebo_43603.jpg)

> [“Deep Throat With EASE! I know what you’re thinking and yes, it’s true. No matter how sensitive your gag reflex may be,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desiree-dean/deep-throat-with-ease-i-know-what-you-re-thinking-and-yes-it-s-true/)

[Desiree Dean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desiree-dean/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24b/desiree-dean-143930_left-hand_deep-throat-with-ease-i-know-what-you-re_1129380.jpg)

> [“It might be instructive to try seeing things from the perspective of, say, a God-fearing hard-working rural-Midwestern military vet. It's not that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-foster-wallace/it-might-be-instructive-to-try-seeing-things-from-the-perspective-of/)

[David Foster Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-foster-wallace/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08e/david-foster-wallace-161_commander-in-chief_it-might-be-instructive-to-try-seeing-th_1293830.jpg)

> [“Eventually Gray came in to interview me, and I gave him my official statement. "I met him at Quest. We were both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ethan-stone/eventually-gray-came-in-to-interview-me-and-i-gave-him-my-official/)

[Ethan Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ethan-stone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6f/ethan-stone-124414_adventure_eventually-gray-came-in-to-interview-me_1931120.jpg)

> [“My mom says, "Do you know what the AIDS memorial quilt is all about?" Jump to how much I hate my brother…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-palahniuk/my-mom-says-do-you-know-what-the-aids-memorial-quilt-is-all-about/)

[Chuck Palahniuk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-palahniuk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cec/chuck-palahniuk-37_left-behind_my-mom-says-do-you-know-what-the-aids-me_2792029.jpg)

> [“A diamond may be forever, but terrorism, promiscuously funded, will be too. Let's make the connection clearly by tracing the path of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/a-diamond-may-be-forever-but-terrorism-promiscuously-funded-will-be/)

[Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92a/bill-maher-211_blood-diamonds_a-diamond-may-be-forever-but-terrorism-p_1152747.png)

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                        "text": "Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!",
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                        "text": "You know the worst thing about oral sex ? The view.",
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                        "text": "“I was not aware he could not enter a vagina at all or never had oral sex done to him.”",
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                        "text": "“In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a vegetarian.\" Mia lifted her glass and took a sip. \"Hm. Does that mean no oral sex?\" She nearly spat her wine”",
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                        "text": "I like to see oral sex and manual sex and intercourse as foreplay for my vibrator sex.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Shark Week has reminded me that we really need to discuss your oral sex technique...",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.",
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                        "text": "You know, there are ways not to perform oral sex if you didn’t want to do it,",
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                        "text": "I hope my anus and genitals roasting in 95-degree weather all day doesn't turn you off from giving me oral sex tonight.",
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                        "text": "“Did you hear the oral sex in the pool part?\" she asked. \"Yeah, sorry.\" \"Don't be,\" she said, \"You didn't lick that pussy in the pool did you?\" \"I haven't even been in the pool yet,\" he said while noticing how spectacular her legs looked in that short robe.”",
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                        "text": "Is a BJ adultery? What? Did I miss a day of school? Of course it is! Oral sex is adultery like Curling is an Olympic sport. The only thing is, oral sex should be in the Olympics because it's much harder than Curling, and if you're good at it, you DESERVE a medal!",
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                        "text": "I asked a high school girl about unreciprocated oral sex and said, \"What if guys were asking you to get them a glass of water and never offered to you a glass of water? Would you put up with that?\" She burst out laughing. It never occurred to her.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“It was informational. About how to perform oral sex on men. You know, one man teaching another. It was really fascinating and I’ve always wondered about the techniques he discussed—ow. Ow! You’re squeezing a little hard, Van Holtz.” . . . “Well, if you’re willing to be my test subject—ack!”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I like everything you do to me.\" \"In that case\"- he flipped her onto her back again, spread her thighs- \"I think we should explore the concept of oral sex.\" Her brain hazed over. And stayed hazed.”",
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                            "name": "Nalini Singh"
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                            "caption": "“I like everything you do to me.\" \"In that case\"- he flipped her onto her back again, spread her thighs- \"I…” — Nalini Singh",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You know what we need? We need to get jobs, get the fuck out of that crazy house,' Natalie said, dipping a McNugget into her sauce. Yeah, right. Jobs doing what? Our only skills are oral sex and restraining agitated psychotics.”",
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                            "name": "Augusten Burroughs"
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                            "caption": "“You know what we need? We need to get jobs, get the fuck out of that crazy house,' Natalie said, dipping a…” — Augusten Burroughs",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, lies, intrigue, clowns, kleptomania, anal sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, bad driving, good cooking, and the missing head of a Justin Timberlake statue. Not for the sour of disposition.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "L.B. Gregg"
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                            "caption": "“Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, lies, intrigue, clowns, kleptomania, anal sex, oral sex…” — L.B. Gregg",
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                        "text": "“For the record, if you tried to make me wait for oral sex, I’d be tempted to kill someone.” “Then it’s a good thing you got yours.” Her pout turned to a mischievous grin. “You’re just waiting to get head at work, aren’t you?”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Meghan March"
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                            "caption": "“For the record, if you tried to make me wait for oral sex, I’d be tempted to kill someone.” “Then it’s a…” — Meghan March",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“It's hard to imagine talking to Lucy. But I can imagine sleeping with her. I have been imagining it quite regularly. I can't stop imagining it. Maybe it's time for my first Lucy Branch, my first truly physical relationship. And why do I assume it would be a bad thing? Maybe it's better with someone different from you. I could teach her how fluorocarbons affect the ozone. She could teach me about oral sex. We would both become better people.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Blake Nelson"
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                            "caption": "“It's hard to imagine talking to Lucy. But I can imagine sleeping with her. I have been imagining it quite…” — Blake Nelson",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Julia's sexual tastes were more influenced by culture than Rob's. Men want to do the same sexual acts regardless of education levels, but female sexual preferences differ by education, culture, and status level. Highly educated women are much more likely to perform oral sex, engage in same-sex activity, and experiment with a variety of other activities than less-educated women. Religions women are less adventurous than nonreligious women, though the desires of religions men are not that much different than those of secular ones.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "David Brooks"
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                            "caption": "“Julia's sexual tastes were more influenced by culture than Rob's. Men want to do the same sexual acts…” — David Brooks",
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                    "@type": "ListItem",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Figure out another way to explain me. I don’t care what you come up with. But if you call me your latest piece of petunia again or make uncalled-for references to my mouth and oral sex with you, you and I are through.” He raised a brow. “Petunia, Ms. Lane?” I scowled. “Ass, Barrons.” He crossed his arms and his gaze dropped to my glossy Lip-Venom red lips. “Am I to understand there are called-for references to your mouth and oral sex with me, Ms. Lane? I’d like to hear them.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Karen Marie Moning"
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                            "caption": "“Figure out another way to explain me. I don’t care what you come up with. But if you call me your latest…” — Karen Marie Moning",
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                    "position": 28,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You got to stick with your lie. If you lie, you have to believe that lie whole-heartedly. It has to become the truth for you. But this man, the most powerful man in the world, is on national TV apologizing for receiving oral sex. He's an idiot. There are men sitting in here right now who would gladly accept oral sex on national TV.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Wanda Sykes"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wanda-sykes/the-president-is-on-national-tv-apologizing-for-getting-oral-sex-why/",
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                            "caption": "“The president is on national TV apologizing for getting oral sex. Why didn't he just stick with his lie? You…” — Wanda Sykes",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you. Every three months. We don't plan it that way. That's just how it works out. It's the weirdest thing. You know what I do? Every time I have sex, the next day I pay my estimated tax. My quarterlies are due. If it's oral sex, I renew my driver's license.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Ray Romano"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-romano/sex-after-one-child-shows-down-after-twins-ooh-i-ll-tell-you-what-it/",
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                            "caption": "“Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with…” — Ray Romano",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Hey, folks, look at all the damage that Bill Clinton has done to feminism. First, oral sex is not sex now. You got a Lewinsky, it isn't sex. And sexual harassment, you know what it used to be? All you had to have for sexual harassment was for a superior in your office to use his power to have his way with you, no matter whether you wanted it or not. Now that's out the window. Because we can't, of course, have Bill Clinton said to have engaged in sexual harassment. No way. Not gonna happen.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Rush Limbaugh"
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                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rush-limbaugh/hey-folks-look-at-all-the-damage-that-bill-clinton-has-done-to/",
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                            "caption": "“Hey, folks, look at all the damage that Bill Clinton has done to feminism. First, oral sex is not sex now…” — Rush Limbaugh",
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                    "position": 31,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I learned the rule about lesbians’ nipples from the porn books my stepfather kept under his mattress, the same place I had learned about oral sex and tribadism. The last two had fascinated and excited me even though I wasn’t completely clear on how they were accomplished. Where did the hip fit, and exactly what was the tongue supposed to be searching for? It was astonishing how badly that stuff was written. How was I supposed to figure things out when it was always so short on the important details?”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Dorothy Allison"
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                            "caption": "“I learned the rule about lesbians’ nipples from the porn books my stepfather kept under his mattress, the…” — Dorothy Allison",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What about the jerks who think good oral sex consists of sucking your clit so hard it feels like you're stuck to a vacuum cleaner? You're there, squirming, about to pass out from agony, slapping at him and yanking his hair to get him to stop, and what does the moron do? Thinks you're coming, redoubles his efforts, and obnoxiously grins at you.”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Elle Aycart"
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                            "caption": "“What about the jerks who think good oral sex consists of sucking your clit so hard it feels like you're…” — Elle Aycart",
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                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“EXERCISE Creating Authentic Relationships The questions below deal with issues most people take for granted and let society define for them. You can start with a blank canvas and create your own definitions. • How do you define intimacy and closeness? • What constitutes a relationship for you? • Are there different types of relationships you wish you could have? • How long should a significant relationship last? • What is sex? Is it intercourse? Is it more specific: penis-in-vagina or penis-in-ass intercourse? What about manual stimulation and penetration, oral sex, sex toys, BDSM play? • What kinds of things do you consider intimate? Sex, sexual touch, genital contact, a BDSM scene with no sexual aspect? • Must you live near a partner for a relationship to be important? • How do you define fidelity? • What constitutes loving, affectionate, sexual, and romantic behavior? Where do things like flirting, kissing, love letters, gift giving, dating, courting, phone calls, emails, and instant messages fit into your definitions? • What does commitment mean to you? How do you define a committed relationship? • What are the most important things you need in a relationship? • How important is it for you to live with a partner? • Realistically , how much time and energy do you have to give to a relationship?  ”",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Tristan Taormino"
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                        "text": "“You know the one about the old man whose grandson is getting married? Just before the wedding, he calls the boy in for a chat. “My child,” he says, “I want you to know that all marriages go through phases. At first, you and you wife will make love all the time. But then, as the children come along, you will find that you are having sex less and less. And by the time they are grown and gone, you’ll be just like your grandmother and me. All you’ll ever have is oral sex. I just wanted you to know how things will go.” The boy looks at him, incredulous. “You and Grandma have oral sex?” “Every single night,” the old man says, “and it’s a perfectly natural thing. She goes into her bedroom and calls, ‘Fuck you!’ And I go into my bedroom and call back to her, ‘No, fuck you!”",
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                        "text": "“How To Tell If Somebody Loves You: Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage! Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “Oh, my God, so sick. Need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all. Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you. Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “Hey, babe! I like you okay. Do you wanna grab lunch? I think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!\" It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love. Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn’t benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to. Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don’t care about your job or how much money you make. It’s a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they’ll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they’re able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them. Somebody will always love you. If you don’t think this is true, then you’re not paying close enough attention.”",
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                        "text": "“Deep Throat With EASE! I know what you’re thinking and yes, it’s true. No matter how sensitive your gag reflex may be, I know the trick to mastering the deep throat and perfecting it. Not too many women on this planet know about this trick so feel free to spread the word. If more women felt comfortable about their gag reflexes and being able to control them, then more couples would be able to enjoy oral sex. Ready for it? Here it is. All you need to do to bypass your gag reflex is to make a really tight fist with your left hand. While you do that, with the same hand, press the pad on your index finger to the pad of your thumb as hard as that can go and viola – you’re cured! Don’t believe me? Try sticking your finger down your throat. Still having difficulties? Then you’re not squeezing hard enough. Try squeezing your fingers together as hard as you can until they are turning white and then stick your index finger with your right hand down your throat. It should work! Now, you can go down on your man with ease and not worry about that beautiful dinner you both had together potentially coming back up. Graphic, I know,”",
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                        "text": "“It might be instructive to try seeing things from the perspective of, say, a God-fearing hard-working rural-Midwestern military vet. It's not that hard. Imaging gazing through his eyes at the world of MTV and the content of video games, at the gross sexualization of children's fashions, at Janet Jackson flashing her aureole on what's supposed to be a holy day. Imagine you're him having to explain to your youngest what oral sex is and what it's got to do with a US president. Ads for penis enlargers and HOT WET SLUTS are popping up out of nowhere on your family's computer. Your kids' school is teaching them WWII and Vietnam in terms of Japanese internment and the horrors of My Lai. Homosexuals are demanding holy matrimony; your doctor's moving away because he can't afford the lawsuit insurance; illegal aliens want driver's licenses; Hollywood elites are bashing America and making millions from it; the president's ridiculed for reading his Bible; priests are diddling kids left and right. Shit, the country's been directly attacked , and people aren't supporting our commander in chief.”",
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                        "text": "“Eventually Gray came in to interview me, and I gave him my official statement. \"I met him at Quest. We were both looking for sex, and he invited me to join him in his motel room. I did, and we had sexual relations.\" \"What kind of sexual relations?\" \"I performed oral sex on him, and he did the same to me. Then we had anal intercourse.\" \"Were you the...?\" he paused, looking for the right words. \"I was on the receiving end,\" I answered to spare him further embarrassment. (...) \"And what happened this morning?\" \"I wanted to visit him again.\" \"Why?\" I looked at Gray like he had just asked the stupidest question ever. \"Why? Because I wanted to be on the receiving end of anal intercourse again.”",
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                        "text": "“My mom says, \"Do you know what the AIDS memorial quilt is all about?\" Jump to how much I hate my brother at this moment. I bought this fabric because I thought it would make a nice panel for Shane,\" Mom says. \"We just ran into some problems with what to sew on it.\" Give me amnesia. Flash. Give me new parents. Flash. Your mother didn't want to step on any toes,\" Dad says. He twists a drumstick off and starts scraping the meat onto a plate. \"With gay stuff you have to be so careful since everything means something in secret code. I mean, we didn't want to give people the wrong idea.\" My Mom leans over to scoop yams onto my plate, and says, \"Your father wanted a black border, but black on a field of blue would mean Shane was excited by leather sex, you know, bondage and discipline, sado and masochism.\" She says, \"Really, those panels are to help the people left behind.\" Strangers are going to see us and see Shane's name,\" my dad says. \"We didn't want them thinking things.\" The dishes all start their slow clockwise march around the table. The stuffing. The olives. The cranberry sauce. \"I wanted pink triangles but all the panels have pink triangles,\" my mom says. \"It's the Nazi symbol for homosexuals.\" She says,\"Your father suggested black triangles, but that would mean Shane was a lesbian. It looks like female pubic hair. The black triangle does.\" My father says, \"Then I wanted a green border, but it turns out that would mean Shane was a male prostitute.\" My mom says, \"We almost chose a red border, but that would mean fisting. Brown would mean either scat or rimming, we couldn't figure which.\" Yellow,\" my father says, \"means watersports.\" A lighter shade of blue,\" Mom says, \"would mean just regular oral sex.\" Regular white,\" my father says, \"would mean anal. White could also mean Shane was excited by men wearing underwear.\" He says, \"I can't remember which.\" My mother passes me the quilted chicken with the rolls still warm inside. We're supposed to sit and eat with Shane dead all over the table in front of us. Finally we just gave up,\" my mom says, \"and I made a nice tablecloth out of the material.\" Between the yams and the stuffing, Dad looks down at his plate and says, \"Do you know about rimming?\" I know it isn't table talk. And fisting?\" my mom asks. I say, I know. I don't mention Manus and his vocational porno magazines. We sit there, all of us around a blue shroud with the turkey more like a big dead baked animal than ever, the stuffing chock full of organs you can still recognize, the heart and gizzard and liver, the gravy thick with cooked fat and blood. The flower centerpiece could be a casket spray. Would you pass the butter, please?\" my mother says. To my father she says, \"Do you know what felching is?”",
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                        "text": "“A diamond may be forever, but terrorism, promiscuously funded, will be too. Let's make the connection clearly by tracing the path of the diamond. Diamonds start out in the earth, and eventually that earth is part of a country, like Sierra Leone, Angola, or the Democratic Republic of Congo. In those countries, desperate battles for control have been going on for decades, and the armies that fight the battles finance their ambitions with diamonds. Villagers are forced to mine the diamonds by ruthless rebels who maintain order through terror: by raping women and hacking off the limbs of the children, something, by the way, you never see in the De Beers ads. The rebels then smuggle the diamonds into neighboring dictatorships in exchange for guns and cash. There the diamonds are sold to the highest bidder--whether they be terrorists or \"legitimate\" dealers--and finally they're laundered in Europe, shipped to America, and end up in jewelry stores where they're purchased by men and given to women in exchange for oral sex. In the feminized world we live in, it's practically national policy that women are more evolved that men--but if that's so, how come they're still so impressed by shiny objects?”",
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