--- title: "1 Old Need Quotes By Diana Rowland" description: "1 Old Need quotes by Diana Rowland. Plus more from Diana Rowland and more Old Need sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8da/diana-rowland-10606_funny-humor_that-old-if-you-need-anything-let-me-kno_2481070.png" --- > [“That old if you 'need anything, let me know,' is a total crock. You hear people say it all the time, but you never see anyone actually call up the person who said it and say, "Hey, remember when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/that-old-if-you-need-anything-let-me-know-is-a-total-crock-you-hear/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8da/diana-rowland-10606_funny-humor_that-old-if-you-need-anything-let-me-kno_2481070.png) ## More by Diana Rowland > [“I’m pre-med,” he added smugly. “Okay.” I said again. I didn’t shrug this time, but his jaw tightened a bit as if he was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/i-m-pre-med-he-added-smugly-okay-i-said-again-i-didn-t-shrug-this/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [Still, waking up this early was just wrong. “Why can’t people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?” I whined.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/still-waking-up-this-early-was-just-wrong-why-can-t-people-be/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“Lying on the metal table in front of me was a middle-aged man decked out in absolutely nothing at all. A dead man. Buck-ass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/lying-on-the-metal-table-in-front-of-me-was-a-middle-aged-man-decked/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“Angel, I have no idea how you can stand this stench,” he said. “Derrel’s been doing this for long enough that I think he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/angel-i-have-no-idea-how-you-can-stand-this-stench-he-said-derrel-s/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“I leveled a scowl at him. “Is there anything in our agreement that says I can’t call you names?” He crouched and added a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/i-leveled-a-scowl-at-him-is-there-anything-in-our-agreement-that-says/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“Yeah, so? I was ignorant, but I’m not a fucking moron. Why would I give the shit to you just so I could buy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/yeah-so-i-was-ignorant-but-i-m-not-a-fucking-moron-why-would-i-give/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [Hell, right now my only weapons were Obnoxious and Snark, and I intended to use them whenever possible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/hell-right-now-my-only-weapons-were-obnoxious-and-snark-and-i/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“The pudding lived up to its name. And nothing fell off that wasn't supposed to.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/the-pudding-lived-up-to-its-name-and-nothing-fell-off-that-wasn-t/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“...with that I turned into a punching, struggling, kicking psycho redneck zombie bitch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/with-that-i-turned-into-a-punching-struggling-kicking-psycho-redneck/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“I clung to the pain like a badge of honor. Blood dripped in a slow splatter from a deep gash in my forearm, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/i-clung-to-the-pain-like-a-badge-of-honor-blood-dripped-in-a-slow/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“What did the zombie say to the whore? Keep the tip!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/what-did-the-zombie-say-to-the-whore-keep-the-tip/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“I just can't believe you fucked that thing !" he retorted, voice rough with what I coud only assume was utter distain. "Why... why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/i-just-can-t-believe-you-fucked-that-thing-he-retorted-voice-rough/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“He leaned back in his chair. “Detective Gillian, what I want to say at this moment would no doubt be considered extremely inappropriate and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/he-leaned-back-in-his-chair-detective-gillian-what-i-want-to-say-at/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“It reminds me of an old joke: What did the Zombie say to the whore?" I looked at him blankly. "Um…what?" He winked. "Keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/it-reminds-me-of-an-old-joke-what-did-the-zombie-say-to-the-whore-i/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) > [“The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/the-over-weight-and-out-of-shape-guy-who-owned-the-house-had/) [Diana Rowland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-rowland/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/old-need/diana-rowland/#itemlist", "name": "1 Old Need Quotes By Diana Rowland", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“That old if you 'need anything, let me know,' is a total crock. You hear people say it all the time, but you never see anyone actually call up the person who said it and say, \"Hey, remember when you said to let you know if i needed anything? Well, I'm feeling really overwhelmed. Could you please come clean my kitchen, I'd feel like I had a bit of a head start.\" You will never hear someone say that, because then the person asking the other person to clean their kitchen is seen as a helpless, incompetent dick. -Diana Rowland (My life as a white trash zombie)”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Diana Rowland" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-rowland/that-old-if-you-need-anything-let-me-know-is-a-total-crock-you-hear/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8da/diana-rowland-10606_funny-humor_that-old-if-you-need-anything-let-me-kno_2481070.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8da/diana-rowland-10606_funny-humor_that-old-if-you-need-anything-let-me-kno_2481070.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8da/diana-rowland-10606_funny-humor_that-old-if-you-need-anything-let-me-kno_2481070.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“That old if you 'need anything, let me know,' is a total crock. 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