--- title: "8 Oh my god Quotes By Ilona Andrews" description: "8 Oh my god quotes by Ilona Andrews. Plus more from Ilona Andrews and more Oh my god sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/241/ilona-andrews-150_alphas_he-snarled-i-showed-him-my-teeth-a-rolle_27260.jpg" --- > [He snarled. I showed him my teeth. A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-snarled-i-showed-him-my-teeth-a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/241/ilona-andrews-150_alphas_he-snarled-i-showed-him-my-teeth-a-rolle_27260.jpg) > [“Oh my gods. The alpha of Clan Cat just got smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. "Mom!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/oh-my-gods-the-alpha-of-clan-cat-just-got-smacked-with-a-rolled-up/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d87/ilona-andrews-150_clan_oh-my-gods-the-alpha-of-clan-cat-just-go_35287.png) > [“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." Oh my God, she was retarded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the-hell-was-she-doing-here-kitty/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05b/ilona-andrews-150_curran_she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the_124015.png) > [“She pivoted on one foot, turning her sword. Fast. Her head snapped toward me. Dark eyes stared straight at me. I detected…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/she-pivoted-on-one-foot-turning-her-sword-fast-her-head-snapped/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e62/ilona-andrews-150_dark-eyes_she-pivoted-on-one-foot-turning-her-swor_214259.png) > [Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/oh-my-god-she-was-retarded-and-i-was-going-to-kill-jim/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c87/ilona-andrews-150_kill_oh-my-god-she-was-retarded-and-i-was-goi_1347817.png) > [“A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in my house!” Oh my gods. The alpha…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my-head-and-then-on-jim-s-none-of/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59a/ilona-andrews-150_dali_a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my-head_1525552.jpg) > [“The magic ground against my mind and I heard the same word whispered over and over in my head. “Z’emir-amit. Z’emir-amit. Z’emir-amit.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-magic-ground-against-my-mind-and-i-heard-the-same-word-whispered/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b89/ilona-andrews-150_oh-my-god_the-magic-ground-against-my-mind-and-i-h_2495966.png) > [“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." Oh my God, she was retarded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the-hell-was-she-doing-here-kitty-2/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e0/ilona-andrews-150_curran_she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the_2751391.png) ## Other authors on Oh my god ## More by Ilona Andrews > [“Did he kill Grandmother?” I whispered. “Don’t be ridiculous,” Erra’s voice said in my ear. “She is already dead. Besides, your grandmother was the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/did-he-kill-grandmother-i-whispered-don-t-be-ridiculous-erra-s-voice/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-only-way-to-make-sure-that-the-hand-didn-t-get-to-you-would-have/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. 'Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-hit-her-with-his-best-smile-her-eyes-widened-she-took-a-deep/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“Because he doesn’t want me talking to my grandmother.” Barabas looked at Curran. Curran shrugged. “It’s a family thing. Sometimes your father puts your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/because-he-doesn-t-want-me-talking-to-my-grandmother-barabas-looked/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus." Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-had-forgotten-that-talking-to-you-is-like-trying-to-pet-a-cactus/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [« He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-squeezed-his-hands-into-fists-i-picked-up-a-grapefruit-sized-rock/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“He came for me. I couldn’t believe it. He came for me . Into a flying palace full of thousands of armed rakshasas in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-came-for-me-i-couldn-t-believe-it-he-came-for-me-into-a-flying/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/saiman-picked-up-a-coffee-mug-stared-at-it-and-hurled-it-against-the/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“Slowly the reality of the situation sank in. He got his ass kicked, learned nothing, and got saved by a dumb dog and an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/slowly-the-reality-of-the-situation-sank-in-he-got-his-ass-kicked/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?" "He became engulfed in fire." "Was his buddy made out of orange…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-paused-with-the-pen-in-my-hand-he-burst-into-flames-he-became/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“He hung his head. “Am I punished?” “Yes. I’m too mad to punish you right now. We’ll talk about it when we get home.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-hung-his-head-am-i-punished-yes-i-m-too-mad-to-punish-you-right/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [The pervert." "He prefers to think of himself as sexual deviant." "Semantics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-pervert-he-prefers-to-think-of-himself-as-sexual-deviant-semantics/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [“I want you to understand me. This isn’t vengeance. This is punishment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-want-you-to-understand-me-this-isn-t-vengeance-this-is-punishment/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [He snarled. I showed him my teeth. A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in my house!”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/he-snarled-i-showed-him-my-teeth-a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) > [The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-door-swung-open-and-kate-walked-in-her-jeans-and-t-shirt-were/) [Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oh-my-god/ilona-andrews/#itemlist", "name": "8 Oh my god Quotes By Ilona Andrews", "numberOfItems": 8, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "He snarled. I showed him my teeth. 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What the hell was she doing... \"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.\" Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/she-pivoted-on-one-foot-turning-her-sword-fast-her-head-snapped/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e62/ilona-andrews-150_dark-eyes_she-pivoted-on-one-foot-turning-her-swor_214259.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e62/ilona-andrews-150_dark-eyes_she-pivoted-on-one-foot-turning-her-swor_214259.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e62/ilona-andrews-150_dark-eyes_she-pivoted-on-one-foot-turning-her-swor_214259.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She pivoted on one foot, turning her sword. Fast. Her head snapped toward me. 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The alpha of Clan Cat just got smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. “Mom!” She pointed at me with the newspaper. “Do not shame me.” I clamped my mouth shut. When she pulled out the shame card, it was all over.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my-head-and-then-on-jim-s-none-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59a/ilona-andrews-150_dali_a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my-head_1525552.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59a/ilona-andrews-150_dali_a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my-head_1525552.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59a/ilona-andrews-150_dali_a-rolled-up-newspaper-landed-on-my-head_1525552.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in my house!” Oh my gods. The alpha…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The magic ground against my mind and I heard the same word whispered over and over in my head. “Z’emir-amit. Z’emir-amit. Z’emir-amit.” Oh my God. I knew that name. I read about her. I studied her legends, but I never thought I would come across anything of hers because she had been dead for thousands of years. Dead and buried in distant Iraq, somewhere on the east bank of the Tigris River. That name belonged to the bones in front of me. I could feel it. I knew this magic. I was looking at the corpse of my grandmother. She wanted me to say her name. She wanted to know that I understood. I opened my mouth and said it out loud. “Semiramis.” Her magic drenched me, not the blow of a hammer, but a cascade of power, pouring onto me as if I stood under a waterfall. Z’emir-amit. The Branch Bearer. The Shield of Assyria. The Great Queen Semiramis. A line from Sarchedon floated up from my memory. When she turns her eyes on you, it is like the golden lustre of noon-day; and her smile is brighter and more glorious than sunset in the desert… To look on her face unveiled is to be the Great Queen’s slave for ever more. ”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-magic-ground-against-my-mind-and-i-heard-the-same-word-whispered/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b89/ilona-andrews-150_oh-my-god_the-magic-ground-against-my-mind-and-i-h_2495966.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b89/ilona-andrews-150_oh-my-god_the-magic-ground-against-my-mind-and-i-h_2495966.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b89/ilona-andrews-150_oh-my-god_the-magic-ground-against-my-mind-and-i-h_2495966.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The magic ground against my mind and I heard the same word whispered over and over in my head. “Z’emir-amit…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… \"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.\" Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim. She blinked and stared at me. She'd seen my eyes glow. I let go, shifting in the dark into my true form in the dark. If you want a Kitty, little girl, I'll give you one you'll never forget. I stepped into the moonlight. She froze. That's right. No sudden moves. I padded toward her slowly and circled her allowing her take it all in. Do you like the kitty now? I could smell her surprise and fear. Our gazes met. Her eyes went wide and then she fell on her ass. Heh. A bow would have been sufficient.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ilona Andrews" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the-hell-was-she-doing-here-kitty-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e0/ilona-andrews-150_curran_she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the_2751391.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e0/ilona-andrews-150_curran_she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the_2751391.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e0/ilona-andrews-150_curran_she-crouched-with-her-hand-out-what-the_2751391.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… \"Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.\" Oh my God, she was…” — Ilona Andrews", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oh-my-god/ilona-andrews/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oh-my-god/ilona-andrews/", "name": "Oh my god Quotes by Ilona Andrews", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oh-my-god/ilona-andrews/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/241/ilona-andrews-150_alphas_he-snarled-i-showed-him-my-teeth-a-rolle_27260.jpg" }, "description": "8 Oh my god quotes by Ilona Andrews. 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