--- title: "9 Oberon Quotes By Kevin Hearne" description: "9 Oberon quotes by Kevin Hearne. Plus more from Kevin Hearne and more Oberon sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/069/kevin-hearne-991_atticus-finch_that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-assho_1778844.jpg" --- > [“That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” Oberon said. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-asshole-with-a-meaner-spirit/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/069/kevin-hearne-991_atticus-finch_that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-assho_1778844.jpg) > [“Dude. If that was a Shakespearean quote duel, he just kicked your ass.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/dude-if-that-was-a-shakespearean-quote-duel-he-just-kicked-your-ass/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93e/kevin-hearne-991_atticus_dude-if-that-was-a-shakespearean-quote-d_1330173.jpg) > [“Huh... guess they didn't want a cracker after all. Another myth BUSTED”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/huh-guess-they-didn-t-want-a-cracker-after-all-another-myth-busted/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ece/kevin-hearne-991_iron-druid-chronicle_huh-guess-they-didn-t-want-a-cracker-aft_1682586.jpg) > [“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/out-out-thou-strumpet-fortune-i-cried-with-all-the-venom-of-charlton/) [kevin hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d49/kevin-hearne-991_atticus_out-out-thou-strumpet-fortune-i-cried-wi_210203.jpg) > [“I think life is like a ham bone if you live it right. You enjoy it and then you bury it when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-think-life-is-like-a-ham-bone-if-you-live-it-right-you-enjoy-it-and/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/657/kevin-hearne-991_life_i-think-life-is-like-a-ham-bone-if-you-l_1534415.jpg) > [“I think he got your goat, Atticus! And I've been meaning to ask you about the expression. When people get your goat,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-think-he-got-your-goat-atticus-and-i-ve-been-meaning-to-ask-you/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9a/kevin-hearne-991_oberon_i-think-he-got-your-goat-atticus-and-i-v_2051740.jpg) > [“Are you going to kick somebody’s ass? I don’t know. Maybe. Well, I’m not going to worry. I’ve watched you spar with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/are-you-going-to-kick-somebody-s-ass-i-don-t-know-maybe-well-i-m-not/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/kevin-hearne-991_art_are-you-going-to-kick-somebody-s-ass-i-d_1476986.jpg) > [“You don't even know if she really likes you, Oberon said as we exited and I unlocked my bike. She could be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/you-don-t-even-know-if-she-really-likes-you-oberon-said-as-we-exited/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f5/kevin-hearne-991_customer-service_you-don-t-even-know-if-she-really-likes_1874644.jpg) > [“Heh. I think you made your point, Atticus. Gods Below, Oberon, that was horrendous! You just violated the Schwarzenegger Pun Reduction Treaty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/heh-i-think-you-made-your-point-atticus-gods-below-oberon-that-was/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95d/kevin-hearne-991_first-place_heh-i-think-you-made-your-point-atticus_482145.jpg) ## More by Kevin Hearne > [Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/whoa-he-had-ghouls-on-speed-dial-my-lawyer-kicks-so-much-ass/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“I bet it’s a universal truth: You eat your pie or go home.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-bet-it-s-a-universal-truth-you-eat-your-pie-or-go-home/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/like-many-silly-codes-of-bravery-and-manliness-the-meat-of-my-father/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [Wow you need to get some sun.” “Shut up. I'm Irish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/wow-you-need-to-get-some-sun-shut-up-i-m-irish/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes, which sounds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/hence-the-reason-i-encourage-you-to-believe-what-you-wish-the-heaven/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered the insanely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/awesome-i-d-just-bullied-jesus-into-doing-a-shot-with-me-nobody-would/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-thought-for-the-longest-time-that-chicken-fried-steak-was-steak/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/when-he-said-to-give-him-the-sword-i-don-t-think-he-meant-for-you-to/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“Oh sweet kraken tits.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/oh-sweet-kraken-tits/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet." "Ohhhh,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/no-see-when-you-throw-up-you-re-vomiting-but-when-you-throw-down-you/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/the-grin-on-his-face-wasn-t-the-affable-friendly-sort-instead-it-was/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“What sealed the deal for me was that the cloak wouldn't come off without a generous donation of my tears. Those used to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/what-sealed-the-deal-for-me-was-that-the-cloak-wouldn-t-come-off/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/on-a-creep-scale-from-hello-kitty-to-cthulhu-i-award-it-a-freddy/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“So this means you're spoiling me right?" Can't Help it. You're the best hound ever. Oberon's tail thumped a few times and his mouth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/so-this-means-you-re-spoiling-me-right-can-t-help-it-you-re-the-best/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/out-out-thou-strumpet-fortune-i-cried-with-all-the-venom-of-charlton/) [kevin hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oberon/kevin-hearne/#itemlist", "name": "9 Oberon Quotes By Kevin Hearne", "numberOfItems": 9, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” Oberon said. ”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Kevin Hearne" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-asshole-with-a-meaner-spirit/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/069/kevin-hearne-991_atticus-finch_that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-assho_1778844.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/069/kevin-hearne-991_atticus-finch_that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-assho_1778844.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/069/kevin-hearne-991_atticus-finch_that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-assho_1778844.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” Oberon said.” — Kevin Hearne", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Dude. 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Do they eat it or hold it for ransom or what?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Kevin Hearne" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-think-he-got-your-goat-atticus-and-i-ve-been-meaning-to-ask-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9a/kevin-hearne-991_oberon_i-think-he-got-your-goat-atticus-and-i-v_2051740.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9a/kevin-hearne-991_oberon_i-think-he-got-your-goat-atticus-and-i-v_2051740.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9a/kevin-hearne-991_oberon_i-think-he-got-your-goat-atticus-and-i-v_2051740.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think he got your goat, Atticus! And I've been meaning to ask you about the expression. 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I’ll see you soon.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Kevin Hearne" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/are-you-going-to-kick-somebody-s-ass-i-don-t-know-maybe-well-i-m-not/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/kevin-hearne-991_art_are-you-going-to-kick-somebody-s-ass-i-d_1476986.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/kevin-hearne-991_art_are-you-going-to-kick-somebody-s-ass-i-d_1476986.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dad/kevin-hearne-991_art_are-you-going-to-kick-somebody-s-ass-i-d_1476986.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Are you going to kick somebody’s ass? I don’t know. Maybe. Well, I’m not going to worry. I’ve watched you…” — Kevin Hearne", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“You don't even know if she really likes you, Oberon said as we exited and I unlocked my bike. She could be doing her customer service routine and stringing you along in hopes of a big tip the next time you come in. With dogs you just go up and smell their asses and you know where you stand, it's so much easier. Why can't humans do that?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Kevin Hearne" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/you-don-t-even-know-if-she-really-likes-you-oberon-said-as-we-exited/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f5/kevin-hearne-991_customer-service_you-don-t-even-know-if-she-really-likes_1874644.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f5/kevin-hearne-991_customer-service_you-don-t-even-know-if-she-really-likes_1874644.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f5/kevin-hearne-991_customer-service_you-don-t-even-know-if-she-really-likes_1874644.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You don't even know if she really likes you, Oberon said as we exited and I unlocked my bike. She could be…” — Kevin Hearne", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Heh. I think you made your point, Atticus. Gods Below, Oberon, that was horrendous! You just violated the Schwarzenegger Pun Reduction Treaty of 2010. What? No, that didn't qualify! Yes, it did. Any pun related to a weapon's destructive capabilities or final disposition of a victim's body is a Schwarzenegger pun, by definition. That's negative twenty sausages according to the sanctions outlined in Section Four, Paragraph Two. My hound whined. No! Not twenty sausages! Twenty succulent sausages I'll never snarf? You can't do that - it's cruelty to animals! You can't argue with this. Your pawprint is on the treaty, and you agreed that Schwarzenegger puns are heinous abominations of language that deserve food-related punishments for purposes of correction and deterrence. Auggh! I still say it's your fault for renting Commando in the first place! You started it!”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Kevin Hearne" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/heh-i-think-you-made-your-point-atticus-gods-below-oberon-that-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95d/kevin-hearne-991_first-place_heh-i-think-you-made-your-point-atticus_482145.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95d/kevin-hearne-991_first-place_heh-i-think-you-made-your-point-atticus_482145.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95d/kevin-hearne-991_first-place_heh-i-think-you-made-your-point-atticus_482145.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Heh. I think you made your point, Atticus. Gods Below, Oberon, that was horrendous! 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