--- title: "4 Nuts Quotes By Dave Barry" description: "4 Nuts quotes by Dave Barry. Plus more from Dave Barry and more Nuts sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/225/dave-barry-222_bits_i-feel-like-i-have-more-experience-with_523599.jpg" --- > [I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/i-feel-like-i-have-more-experience-with-publishing-humor-than-pretty/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/225/dave-barry-222_bits_i-feel-like-i-have-more-experience-with_523599.jpg) > [You're not allowed to park a truck in your driveway. You're not allowed to work on your house on Sunday. The people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/you-re-not-allowed-to-park-a-truck-in-your-driveway-you-re-not/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/378/dave-barry-222_columns_you-re-not-allowed-to-park-a-truck-in-yo_2048800.jpg) > [The reason it's called "Grape Nuts" is that it contains "dextrose," which is also sometimes called "grape sugar," and also because "Grape…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-reason-it-s-called-grape-nuts-is-that-it-contains-dextrose-which/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93d/dave-barry-222_crosses_the-reason-it-s-called-grape-nuts-is-tha_2308745.png) > [Palestinian and Israeli leaders finally recover the Road Map to Peace, only to discover that, while they were looking for it, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/palestinian-and-israeli-leaders-finally-recover-the-road-map-to-peace/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a1/dave-barry-222_accommodations_palestinian-and-israeli-leaders-finally_2529241.png) ## Other authors on Nuts ## More by Dave Barry > [This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-is-true-virtually-all-edible-substances-and-many-automotive/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-ball-was-so-crowded-that-it-took-me-a-trained-professional/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-guy-is-that-women-don-t-accept-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/entire-new-continent-can-emerge-from-the-ocean-in-the-time-it-takes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-was-distracted-by-a-giggle-and-turned-to-see-a-rare-sight-a-girl/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-major-parties-could-conduct-live-human-sacrifices-on-their/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-look-at-any-list-of-great-modern-writers-such-as-ernest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/don-t-you-wish-you-had-a-job-like-mine-all-you-have-to-do-is-think-up/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/despite-the-gulf-physical-and-cultural-between-the-united-states-and/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/before-going-on-a-diet-you-should-consult-your-doctor-or-at-least/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Never trust anything you read in a travel article.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/never-trust-anything-you-read-in-a-travel-article/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-old-days-it-was-not-called-the-holiday-season-the-christians/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/always-remember-that-if-editors-were-so-damned-smart-they-would-know/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nuts/dave-barry/#itemlist", "name": "4 Nuts Quotes By Dave Barry", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so sometimes I'll get a little bit nuts if I write something I know is good a certain way, and some editor because of some restriction he has and wants to change it that I know is going to make it less funny that'll piss me off and then I'm inclined to go, \"Well, hey I've been doing this a long time, maybe you should...\" That doesn't happen that often, but I'm more likely to say that now than I would have been a long time ago. 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