--- title: "9 Normal people Quotes By Christopher Titus" description: "9 Normal people quotes by Christopher Titus. Plus more from Christopher Titus and more Normal people sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e1/christopher-titus-1916_believe_everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love_508206.jpg" --- > [Everybody has hope for the perfect love. Normal people are raised to believe that there's someone out there who's your soulmate, your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love-normal-people-are-raised-to/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e1/christopher-titus-1916_believe_everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love_508206.jpg) > [Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle problems when they come…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-haven-t-had-enough-problems-in/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg) > [Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we have in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-want-to-be-accepted-screwed-up-people-want-to-be/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/christopher-titus-1916_acceptance_normal-people-want-to-be-accepted-screwe_2593962.jpg) > [Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/screwed-up-people-settle-fights-through-violence-screwed-up-people/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcc/christopher-titus-1916_cake_screwed-up-people-settle-fights-through_3093977.jpg) > [Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you raise a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-you-see-that-s-why-normal-people/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/christopher-titus-1916_ass_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-you-se_2570881.jpg) > [Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear that their parents are going to live forever. Showing up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents-die-screwed-up-people-fear-2/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg) > [Normal people, who grow up with compassion, never amount to anything. They're the ones who end up gluing those little dots on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-who-grow-up-with-compassion-never-amount-to-anything/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b83/christopher-titus-1916_abandoned_normal-people-who-grow-up-with-compassio_2884332.jpg) > [So it seems that because of every syndrome and disorder we've invented in the past twenty years, the Los Angeles Times reported…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndrome-and-disorder-we-ve/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2b/christopher-titus-1916_american-families_so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndro_2811963.jpg) > [Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear the day their parents kill. My mum killed a guy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents-die-screwed-up-people-fear/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f8/christopher-titus-1916_ability_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2716116.jpg) ## More by Christopher Titus > [My father thrives on fear. You know that prayer If I should die before I wake? I had sheets that said that!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-thrives-on-fear-you-know-that-prayer-if-i-should-die-before/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Ladies, if you're at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/ladies-if-you-re-at-the-mall-and-you-think-your-man-is-looking-at/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-find-that-americans-are-all-in-the-middle-somewhere-except-for-the/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [My father? A hard drinking man from the 70's. We actually have no pictures of my dad where he is not holding a beer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/my-father-a-hard-drinking-man-from-the-70-s-we-actually-have-no/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Everybody I've ever met was destroyed by a member of the opposite sex early on and that damage you took into every relationship after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everybody-i-ve-ever-met-was-destroyed-by-a-member-of-the-opposite-sex/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/psychiatrist-are-like-mind-hookers-give-them-200-dollars-and-they/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [All of Dad's relationships ended exactly the same: subpoena, beep of a moving van backing up the driveway, pile of his clothes burning on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/all-of-dad-s-relationships-ended-exactly-the-same-subpoena-beep-of-a/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/texas-is-a-hell-hole-man-dirt-cactus-lizards-dirt-cactus-the-bush/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Sometimes failure makes your future because you set the past on fire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/sometimes-failure-makes-your-future-because-you-set-the-past-on-fire/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [When you are a screwed up person, you have a responsibility to keep your normal friends from getting walked on. 'Cos, how bad could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/when-you-are-a-screwed-up-person-you-have-a-responsibility-to-keep/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/if-you-re-a-racist-right-now-in-2011-you-just-look-like-a-retard-man/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/why-should-i-learn-english-i-m-never-going-to-england-shah-pffff-ur/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/passion-manners-and-80-ounces-of-beer-will-win-the-heart-of-any-woman/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [The most powerful person in your life is the one that knows all your secrets and all your lies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/the-most-powerful-person-in-your-life-is-the-one-that-knows-all-your/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) > [Haiti fell over? Who built Haiti? Two of the three little pigs?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/haiti-fell-over-who-built-haiti-two-of-the-three-little-pigs/) [Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/normal-people/christopher-titus/#itemlist", "name": "9 Normal people Quotes By Christopher Titus", "numberOfItems": 9, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Everybody has hope for the perfect love. Normal people are raised to believe that there's someone out there who's your soulmate, your best friend, your lover. My dad always told me that when you find that person, \"You gotta nail her\"!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love-normal-people-are-raised-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e1/christopher-titus-1916_believe_everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love_508206.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e1/christopher-titus-1916_believe_everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love_508206.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e1/christopher-titus-1916_believe_everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love_508206.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Everybody has hope for the perfect love. 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Hey once you've driven a drunken father to moms' parole hearing, what else is there?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-haven-t-had-enough-problems-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd3/christopher-titus-1916_come-up_normal-people-terrify-me-because-they-ha_2961012.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Normal people terrify me, because they haven't had enough problems in their life to know how to handle…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we have in common. My whole life, all I ever wanted was my dad to pat me on the top of the head and go, Who's a good boy ? Who's a good boy? But, instead, all he ever did was wipe peanut butter on the end of my nose and laugh while I tried to lick it off.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-want-to-be-accepted-screwed-up-people-want-to-be/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/christopher-titus-1916_acceptance_normal-people-want-to-be-accepted-screwe_2593962.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/christopher-titus-1916_acceptance_normal-people-want-to-be-accepted-screwe_2593962.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2e/christopher-titus-1916_acceptance_normal-people-want-to-be-accepted-screwe_2593962.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Normal people, want to be accepted. Screwed up people, want to be accepted. It's one of the few things we…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/screwed-up-people-settle-fights-through-violence-screwed-up-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcc/christopher-titus-1916_cake_screwed-up-people-settle-fights-through_3093977.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcc/christopher-titus-1916_cake_screwed-up-people-settle-fights-through_3093977.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcc/christopher-titus-1916_cake_screwed-up-people-settle-fights-through_3093977.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you raise a kid with only love and support, I guarantee that kid will be in rehab by the time he is 16. Why? Because you never introduced him to Mr. Back-of-Your-Hand. You know why I only broke into a liquor store once? 'Cause my father introduced me to Mr. Back-of-His-Hand and its wiley sidekick, Mr. Foot-in-My-Ass.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-you-see-that-s-why-normal-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/christopher-titus-1916_ass_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-you-se_2570881.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/christopher-titus-1916_ass_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-you-se_2570881.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb9/christopher-titus-1916_ass_being-a-parent-is-a-life-sentence-you-se_2570881.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Being a parent is a life sentence. You see, that's why normal people should not have children because if you…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear that their parents are going to live forever. Showing up at your house at weird hours of the night, smelling all funny, with a bunch of their friends. Hey boy, this is Harold, Cecil and Dicky. Dicky lost his wife about a year ago. I hear Erin made cookies. Where can I put my shoes ? If that doesn't scare you, you're not human.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents-die-screwed-up-people-fear-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/christopher-titus-1916_boys_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2777615.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear that their parents are going to live…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Normal people, who grow up with compassion, never amount to anything. They're the ones who end up gluing those little dots on the highway. Or, putting glue on the dots for the guy who glues dots on the highway. Screwed up people, who weren't coddled or raised with compassion, we get stuff done. Sure, we feel a little alone and abandoned, but, we're... very... happy. Why can't you love me, daddy?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-who-grow-up-with-compassion-never-amount-to-anything/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b83/christopher-titus-1916_abandoned_normal-people-who-grow-up-with-compassio_2884332.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b83/christopher-titus-1916_abandoned_normal-people-who-grow-up-with-compassio_2884332.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b83/christopher-titus-1916_abandoned_normal-people-who-grow-up-with-compassio_2884332.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Normal people, who grow up with compassion, never amount to anything. They're the ones who end up gluing…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So it seems that because of every syndrome and disorder we've invented in the past twenty years, the Los Angeles Times reported that 63% of American families are now considered dysfunctional. My God! That means we're the majority. We're normal! It's the people who have the mommy, the daddy, the brother, the sister, the little white picket fence - those people are the freaks, man!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndrome-and-disorder-we-ve/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2b/christopher-titus-1916_american-families_so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndro_2811963.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2b/christopher-titus-1916_american-families_so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndro_2811963.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2b/christopher-titus-1916_american-families_so-it-seems-that-because-of-every-syndro_2811963.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So it seems that because of every syndrome and disorder we've invented in the past twenty years, the Los…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear the day their parents kill. My mum killed a guy, at my wedding. So I can pretty much check that off. But, she's my mum. And no matter what she did I just can't walk away from her. She gave me birth. She gave me love. She gave me the ability to make a cigarette fire look like it was started by the hot water heater.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Titus" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents-die-screwed-up-people-fear/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f8/christopher-titus-1916_ability_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2716116.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f8/christopher-titus-1916_ability_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2716116.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f8/christopher-titus-1916_ability_normal-people-fear-the-day-their-parents_2716116.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear the day their parents kill. My mum…” — Christopher Titus", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/normal-people/christopher-titus/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/normal-people/christopher-titus/", "name": "Normal people Quotes by Christopher Titus", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/normal-people/christopher-titus/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e1/christopher-titus-1916_believe_everybody-has-hope-for-the-perfect-love_508206.jpg" }, "description": "9 Normal people quotes by Christopher Titus. 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