---
title: "21 Non-sequitur Quotes by 3 authors"
description: "Browse 21 Non-sequitur quotes by 3 authors. Discover the best Non-sequitur sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/272/st-john-morris-25489_bastard_what-have-you-got-in-there-you-little-ba_627398.jpg"
---

> [“What have you got in there you little bastard?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/what-have-you-got-in-there-you-little-bastard/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/272/st-john-morris-25489_bastard_what-have-you-got-in-there-you-little-ba_627398.jpg)

> [“You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/you-little-prick-it-s-a-whelk-it-s-a-it-s-a-dead-whelk/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e74/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_you-little-prick-it-s-a-whelk-it-s-a-it_3180083.jpg)

> [“Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/beetroot-cossins-had-moved-to-kuala-lumpur-where-she-had-died-of/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a09/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_beetroot-cossins-had-moved-to-kuala-lump_2639402.jpg)

> [“A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/a-huge-meringue-with-polio-who-drives-everywhere-in-a-beautifully/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/684/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_a-huge-meringue-with-polio-who-drives-ev_2908861.jpg)

> [“Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/had-the-facial-plumage-been-of-a-paler-hue-it-would-have-looked-like/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca3/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_had-the-facial-plumage-been-of-a-paler-h_3107821.jpg)

> [“Run. Flee. Fuck off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/run-flee-fuck-off-vanish-from-my-presence-and-take-the-foul-stench-of/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f2/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_run-flee-fuck-off-vanish-from-my-presenc_948884.jpg)

> [“Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind a sycamore…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/private-benjamin-lives-next-door-but-one-to-bob-cryer-from-the-bill-i/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/978/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_private-benjamin-lives-next-door-but-one_1221103.jpg)

> [“St John had always been a fan of the RS Turbo, mainly due to the colour coded rear spoiler and air vents…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/st-john-had-always-been-a-fan-of-the-rs-turbo-mainly-due-to-the/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66d/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_st-john-had-always-been-a-fan-of-the-rs_1433944.jpg)

> [“Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/her-protestations-were-drowned-out-by-the-sound-of-gordon-honeycomb/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ae/st-john-morris-25489_aftershock_her-protestations-were-drowned-out-by-th_2770279.jpg)

> [“Nice dress,” Victoria said. “Thank you,” Perpetua said. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” Victoria blinked. “Uh, what?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-r-smith/nice-dress-victoria-said-thank-you-perpetua-said-do-you-mind-if-i-ask/)

[Benjamin R. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-r-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d74/benjamin-r-smith-15136_humor_nice-dress-victoria-said-thank-you-perpe_2611437.jpg)

> [“There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker from Cumberland who spends his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/there-was-arctic-john-a-businessman-from-salisbury-who-doesn-t-hold/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ce/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_there-was-arctic-john-a-businessman-from_2832435.jpg)

> [“He had also spent a day and a half without sleep trying to start an online petition to bring back the advert…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/he-had-also-spent-a-day-and-a-half-without-sleep-trying-to-start-an/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbb/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_he-had-also-spent-a-day-and-a-half-witho_2914381.jpg)

> [“Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she’d only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do when I were eighteen.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/oh-yeah-well-i-suddenly-realises-that-she-d-only-been-with-my/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b6/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_oh-yeah-well-i-suddenly-realises-that-sh_1959366.jpg)

> [“Tobak Davenport, who is a cross between some Sugar Puffs and Lynn Faulds-Wood, was squatting there before being removed by the local…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/tobak-davenport-who-is-a-cross-between-some-sugar-puffs-and-lynn/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82b/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_tobak-davenport-who-is-a-cross-between-s_2503816.jpg)

> [“Eunice had deposited St John upon the balcony of the first-floor apartment of former Liberal MP, The Rt. Hon. Leonard Cossins, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/eunice-had-deposited-st-john-upon-the-balcony-of-the-first-floor/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3f/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_eunice-had-deposited-st-john-upon-the-ba_2838181.jpg)

> [“You just finished a job, as you refer to it. You must be tired and I can only imagine the enervating quality…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nina-post/you-just-finished-a-job-as-you-refer-to-it-you-must-be-tired-and-i/)

[Nina Post](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nina-post/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/500/nina-post-62785_non-sequitur_you-just-finished-a-job-as-you-refer-to_643001.jpg)

> [“I once went to one of his Virgin Vie parties and had a really good time watching Chas having a paddy whilst…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/i-once-went-to-one-of-his-virgin-vie-parties-and-had-a-really-good/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eac/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_i-once-went-to-one-of-his-virgin-vie-par_2514914.jpg)

> [“Next door to the Bensons is Emmet Frag, a retired pacemaker who is credited with inventing the notion of happiness. He’s currently…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/next-door-to-the-bensons-is-emmet-frag-a-retired-pacemaker-who-is/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/966/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_next-door-to-the-bensons-is-emmet-frag-a_2817883.jpg)

> [“Next door but one is Quinlan Broddle, a Viceroy with a fear of gardens. So much so that he sold his garden…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/next-door-but-one-is-quinlan-broddle-a-viceroy-with-a-fear-of-gardens/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e54/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_next-door-but-one-is-quinlan-broddle-a-v_1365781.jpg)

> [“This particular event had been somewhat more raucous than usual as Derek Jameson had just lost an arm wrestle with Ann Diamond.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/this-particular-event-had-been-somewhat-more-raucous-than-usual-as/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40d/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_this-particular-event-had-been-somewhat_2031278.jpg)

> [“On the other side of St John’s house is a fake egg timer who can’t maintain an erection. He shares the property…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-john-morris/on-the-other-side-of-st-john-s-house-is-a-fake-egg-timer-who-can-t/)

[St. John Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-john-morris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d3/st-john-morris-25489_comedy_on-the-other-side-of-st-john-s-house-is_1014846.jpg)

## Top authors on Non-sequitur

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-crissy-25489.jpg) St. John Morris 19 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/non-sequitur/st-john-morris/)

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