---
title: "23 Next Quotes By Jay Leno"
description: "23 Next quotes by Jay Leno. Plus more from Jay Leno and more Next sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3be/jay-leno-210_amount_saddam-hussein-has-raised-the-amount-goi_946783.png"
---

> [Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. What's next, a health care plan?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/saddam-hussein-has-raised-the-amount-going-to-suicide-bombers-from-10/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3be/jay-leno-210_amount_saddam-hussein-has-raised-the-amount-goi_946783.png)

> [Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/do-you-know-who-will-be-in-charge-of-health-care-the-irs-you-thought/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ac/jay-leno-210_care_do-you-know-who-will-be-in-charge-of-hea_2257201.png)

> [If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/if-i-have-one-advantage-it-s-that-i-will-try-to-work-harder-than-the/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/794/jay-leno-210_advantage_if-i-have-one-advantage-it-s-that-i-will_1841227.png)

> [A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/a-survey-has-shown-that-the-average-man-has-had-sex-in-a-car-15-times/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/jay-leno-210_average_a-survey-has-shown-that-the-average-man_619410.png)

> [The Senate is now considering increasing government subsidies for corn growers to produce more ethanol. If we produce enough ethanol we can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-senate-is-now-considering-increasing-government-subsidies-for/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/afe/jay-leno-210_considering_the-senate-is-now-considering-increasing_2769857.png)

> [As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/as-you-know-president-bush-has-been-traveling-around-the-country/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/327/jay-leno-210_country_as-you-know-president-bush-has-been-trav_315593.png)

> [Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/magic-johnson-former-basketball-player-may-run-for-mayor-of-l-a-in/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c1f/jay-leno-210_ball-player_magic-johnson-former-basketball-player-m_1122010.png)

> [Experts are saying that President Bush's goal now is to politically humiliate Saddam Hussein. Why don't we just make him the next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/experts-are-saying-that-president-bush-s-goal-now-is-to-politically/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/997/jay-leno-210_democratic_experts-are-saying-that-president-bush-s_1279597.png)

> [Whitney Houston rear-ended a city bus with her sports car, but no one was hurt. She said she didn't know what happened.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/whitney-houston-rear-ended-a-city-bus-with-her-sports-car-but-no-one/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d86/jay-leno-210_bigs_whitney-houston-rear-ended-a-city-bus-wi_1629099.png)

> [Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/bill-clinton-is-the-only-ex-president-who-hasn-t-planned-his-own/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/659/jay-leno-210_alive_bill-clinton-is-the-only-ex-president-wh_1760279.png)

> [A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/a-new-poll-says-that-if-the-election-were-held-today-both-john-kerry/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ccd/jay-leno-210_beats_a-new-poll-says-that-if-the-election-wer_374564.jpg)

> [The Supreme Court has ruled that anybody can be strip-searched for any kind of arrest. That's something to think about the next…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-supreme-court-has-ruled-that-anybody-can-be-strip-searched-for/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8a/jay-leno-210_arrest_the-supreme-court-has-ruled-that-anybody_2667752.jpg)

> [So, Wesley Clark is running for president. Pretty amazing guy. Four star general, first in his class at West Point, supreme commander…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/so-wesley-clark-is-running-for-president-pretty-amazing-guy-four-star/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/234/jay-leno-210_battle_so-wesley-clark-is-running-for-president_441220.jpg)

> [I watched that new reality show on ABC with Charlie Gibson, 'America's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, what an exciting show…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/i-watched-that-new-reality-show-on-abc-with-charlie-gibson-america-s/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/757/jay-leno-210_america_i-watched-that-new-reality-show-on-abc-w_708060.png)

> [Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/anheuser-busch-gives-two-free-cases-of-beer-to-its-employees-at-all/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be2/jay-leno-210_beer_anheuser-busch-gives-two-free-cases-of-b_1658111.png)

> [The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-mayans-have-predicted-the-world-is-supposed-to-end-on-december-21/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a6/jay-leno-210_december_the-mayans-have-predicted-the-world-is-s_30128.png)

> [There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/there-are-now-reports-that-president-obama-will-name-massachusetts/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/805/jay-leno-210_america_there-are-now-reports-that-president-oba_1932388.jpg)

> [The FCC is considering lifting the ban on cellphone calls on planes. The good news is you'll be able to make calls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-fcc-is-considering-lifting-the-ban-on-cellphone-calls-on-planes/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/jay-leno-210_able_the-fcc-is-considering-lifting-the-ban-o_932939.png)

> [Women get a little more excited about New Year's Eve than men do. It's like an excuse: you drink too much, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/women-get-a-little-more-excited-about-new-year-s-eve-than-men-do-it-s/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3a/jay-leno-210_date_women-get-a-little-more-excited-about-ne_1344192.png)

> [A review of studies by physicians found that excessive exercise is bad for your heart. Another study says a daily serving of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/a-review-of-studies-by-physicians-found-that-excessive-exercise-is/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90b/jay-leno-210_chocolate_a-review-of-studies-by-physicians-found_2983584.png)

> [Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/is-it-me-or-is-president-bush-s-life-starting-to-sound-like-a-country/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e5/jay-leno-210_break_is-it-me-or-is-president-bush-s-life-sta_430865.png)

> [Postal inspectors have been given advanced warning that Publishers Clearinghouse is sending packets of laundry detergent that could be mistaken for anthrax.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/postal-inspectors-have-been-given-advanced-warning-that-publishers/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a4/jay-leno-210_alarm-clock_postal-inspectors-have-been-given-advanc_3189751.png)

> [As you know, John McCain is an older, white-haired man who has been in the Senate for over twenty years, voted for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/as-you-know-john-mccain-is-an-older-white-haired-man-who-has-been-in/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d94/jay-leno-210_barack_as-you-know-john-mccain-is-an-older-whit_3101035.jpg)

## Other authors on Next

## More by Jay Leno

> [If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/if-you-restore-a-car-and-you-re-making-money-then-you-re-doing-it/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/bush-reiterated-his-stand-to-conservatives-opposing-his-decision-on/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/michael-jackson-has-a-new-baby-boy-no-word-yet-who-the-father-is/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/there-is-a-nationwide-shortage-of-drugs-for-attention-deficit/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/leno-said-the-rainy-weather-in-california-couldn-t-have-come-at-a/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/donald-trump-said-he-will-not-decide-about-a-possible-run-for-the/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/american-forces-in-iraq-found-650-million-in-american-cash-sealed-in/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/i-wanted-to-have-a-career-in-sports-when-i-was-young-but-i-had-to/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/texas-gov-rick-perry-referred-to-the-mexican-city-of-juarez-as-the/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/you-can-tell-you-ate-too-much-for-thanksgiving-when-you-have-to-let/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-mayans-have-predicted-the-world-is-supposed-to-end-on-december-21/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-globe-reports-that-north-korean-dictator-kim-jong-il-raises-money/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/here-is-your-government-at-work-a-congressman-from-colorado-said-he/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/jack-abramoff-is-going-to-testify-against-some-of-the-other-weasels/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/tomorrow-america-s-most-famous-hockey-mom-sarah-palin-will-drop-the/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

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                        "text": "The Senate is now considering increasing government subsidies for corn growers to produce more ethanol. If we produce enough ethanol we can postpone our next invasion of a Middle Eastern country for two to three years.",
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                        "text": "Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.",
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                        "text": "Experts are saying that President Bush's goal now is to politically humiliate Saddam Hussein. Why don't we just make him the next Democratic presidential nominee?",
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                        "text": "Whitney Houston rear-ended a city bus with her sports car, but no one was hurt. She said she didn't know what happened. One minute she was concentrating on the big white line, and the next, boom!",
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                        "text": "Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said he wants to be buried next to Hillary. I guess he figures he never slept next to her when they were alive, might as well try it now that they're dead.",
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                        "text": "A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.",
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                        "text": "The Supreme Court has ruled that anybody can be strip-searched for any kind of arrest. That's something to think about the next time you bring 12 items into a 10-item-or-less lane.",
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                        "text": "So, Wesley Clark is running for president. Pretty amazing guy. Four star general, first in his class at West Point, supreme commander of NATO, saw combat in Vietnam, won the bronze star, silver star, the purple heart for being wounded in battle. See, I'm no political expert, but that sounds pretty good next to choking on a pretzel, falling off a scooter and dropping the dog.",
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                        "text": "I watched that new reality show on ABC with Charlie Gibson, 'America's Next Top Vice President.' ... Oh, what an exciting show that is! Did you see Sarah Palin's interview with Charlie Gibson? Did you all watch that? In fact, John McCain was watching it at home, and at one point, he turned to his wife and said, 'She looks really familiar.'",
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                        "text": "Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought the next time you're getting ready to get on the roller coaster!",
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                        "text": "The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts.",
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                        "text": "There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this is part of America's new defense strategy to bore our enemies to death.",
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                        "text": "The FCC is considering lifting the ban on cellphone calls on planes. The good news is you'll be able to make calls during your flight. The bad news? The person sitting next to you will be able to make cellphone calls during yourflight.",
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                        "text": "Women get a little more excited about New Year's Eve than men do. It's like an excuse: you drink too much, you make a lot of promises you're not going to keep; the next morning as soon as you wake up you start breaking them. For men, we just call that a date.",
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                        "text": "A review of studies by physicians found that excessive exercise is bad for your heart. Another study says a daily serving of chocolate is actually good for your heart. That's got to make next year New Year's resolution easier to keep. \"I'm going to exercise less. Eat a little more chocolate.",
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                        "text": "Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died, and it looks like he might lose his job. Next thing, his truck is going to break down.",
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                        "text": "Postal inspectors have been given advanced warning that Publishers Clearinghouse is sending packets of laundry detergent that could be mistaken for anthrax. Oh, good timing. What genius came up with this promotion? What's next - a ticking alarm clock? Let's put that in a box.",
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