--- title: "17 Next Quotes By George Carlin" description: "17 Next quotes by George Carlin. Plus more from George Carlin and more Next sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/428/george-carlin-155_doe_no-one-knows-what-s-next-but-everybody-d_2987393.jpg" --- > [No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/no-one-knows-what-s-next-but-everybody-does-it/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/428/george-carlin-155_doe_no-one-knows-what-s-next-but-everybody-d_2987393.jpg) > [Always do whatever's next.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/always-do-whatever-s-next/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/george-carlin-155_next_always-do-whatever-s-next-2056983_2056983.jpg) > [If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/if-a-movie-is-described-as-a-romantic-comedy-you-can-usually-find-me/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/834/george-carlin-155_comedy_if-a-movie-is-described-as-a-romantic-co_2332443.jpg) > [Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-gas-take-your-next-trip-in/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69e/george-carlin-155_fun_kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-g_18137.jpg) > [The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-next-time-a-prostitute-solicits-your-business-ask-for-the/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f6/george-carlin-155_asks_the-next-time-a-prostitute-solicits-your_1990322.jpg) > [You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-get-into-your-teens-now-they-can-t-hold-you-back-you-jump-to-the/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23f/george-carlin-155_aging_you-get-into-your-teens-now-they-can-t-h_55123.jpg) > [Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/dusting-is-a-good-example-of-the-futility-of-trying-to-put-things/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/955/george-carlin-155_dust_dusting-is-a-good-example-of-the-futilit_1479722.jpg) > [Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/don-t-take-guilt-trips-take-a-trip-to-the-mall-to-the-next-county-to/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d33/george-carlin-155_country_don-t-take-guilt-trips-take-a-trip-to-th_1988720.jpg) > [The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-next-time-they-give-you-all-that-civic-bullshit-about-voting-keep/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/george-carlin-155_bullshit_the-next-time-they-give-you-all-that-civ_394349.jpg) > [Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/some-national-parks-have-long-waiting-lists-for-camping-reservations/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d82/george-carlin-155_camping_some-national-parks-have-long-waiting-li_2416538.jpg) > [Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/next-time-you-see-someone-sleeping-make-believe-you-re-in-a-science/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/742/george-carlin-155_animals_next-time-you-see-someone-sleeping-make_753242.jpg) > [I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f\*\*\* you, next case,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-m-tired-of-hearing-about-innocent-victims-it-s-fiction-if-you-live/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/509/george-carlin-155_birth_i-m-tired-of-hearing-about-innocent-vict_903314.jpg) > [People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/people-can-t-seem-to-get-it-through-their-heads-that-there-is-never/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d9/george-carlin-155_closure_people-can-t-seem-to-get-it-through-thei_2318954.jpg) > [ By the next one \[albom\],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i-was-right-back-into-the-trip/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/800/george-carlin-155_albums_by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i_640899.jpg) > [I never took reds or Quaaludes to balance out the coke. So when it got to be four in the morning and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-never-took-reds-or-quaaludes-to-balance-out-the-coke-so-when-it-got/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8d/george-carlin-155_always-looking-forwa_i-never-took-reds-or-quaaludes-to-balanc_1258326.jpg) > [People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/people-say-i-m-going-to-sleep-now-as-if-it-were-nothing-but-it-s/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/george-carlin-155_activity_people-say-i-m-going-to-sleep-now-as-if_2144850.jpg) > [It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/it-s-nothing-but-a-big-stroke-job-in-this-country-the-government/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b6/george-carlin-155_america_it-s-nothing-but-a-big-stroke-job-in-thi_3111389.jpg) ## Other authors on Next ## More by George Carlin > [I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-never-go-anywhere-or-do-anything-that-transports-me-outside-the/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/with-the-proper-training-i-could-ve-been-an-evil-genius/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/comedy-although-it-is-not-one-of-the-fine-arts-it-s-a-vulgar-art-it-s/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-m-completely-in-favor-of-the-separation-of-church-and-state-these/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/tomorrow-is-another-day-not-true-today-is-another-day-we-have-no-idea/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-was-a-loner-as-a-child-i-had-an-imaginary-friend-i-didn-t-bother/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-gas-take-your-next-trip-in/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/if-you-guys-want-to-get-a-mom-tattoo-and-save-a-little-money-just-get/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-ve-built-up-so-much-speed-that-you-hit-70-after-that-it-s-a-day/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/it-ended-suddenly-for-brenda-more-slowly-for-me-my-runs-began-getting/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Is there another word for synonym?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/is-there-another-word-for-synonym/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-whole-idea-of-the-pursuit-of-goods-and-possessions-has-completely/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/these-days-many-politicians-are-demanding-change-just-like-homeless/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-know-the-good-part-about-all-those-executions-in-texas-fewer/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [What was the best thing before sliced bread?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/what-was-the-best-thing-before-sliced-bread/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/next/george-carlin/#itemlist", "name": "17 Next Quotes By George Carlin", "numberOfItems": 17, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/no-one-knows-what-s-next-but-everybody-does-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/428/george-carlin-155_doe_no-one-knows-what-s-next-but-everybody-d_2987393.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/428/george-carlin-155_doe_no-one-knows-what-s-next-but-everybody-d_2987393.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/428/george-carlin-155_doe_no-one-knows-what-s-next-but-everybody-d_2987393.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Always do whatever's next.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/always-do-whatever-s-next/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/george-carlin-155_next_always-do-whatever-s-next-2056983_2056983.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/george-carlin-155_next_always-do-whatever-s-next-2056983_2056983.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eb5/george-carlin-155_next_always-do-whatever-s-next-2056983_2056983.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Always do whatever's next.” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/if-a-movie-is-described-as-a-romantic-comedy-you-can-usually-find-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/834/george-carlin-155_comedy_if-a-movie-is-described-as-a-romantic-co_2332443.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/834/george-carlin-155_comedy_if-a-movie-is-described-as-a-romantic-co_2332443.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/834/george-carlin-155_comedy_if-a-movie-is-described-as-a-romantic-co_2332443.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-gas-take-your-next-trip-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69e/george-carlin-155_fun_kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-g_18137.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69e/george-carlin-155_fun_kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-g_18137.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69e/george-carlin-155_fun_kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-g_18137.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Kilometers are shorter than miles. 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You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-get-into-your-teens-now-they-can-t-hold-you-back-you-jump-to-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23f/george-carlin-155_aging_you-get-into-your-teens-now-they-can-t-h_55123.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23f/george-carlin-155_aging_you-get-into-your-teens-now-they-can-t-h_55123.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23f/george-carlin-155_aging_you-get-into-your-teens-now-they-can-t-h_55123.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/dusting-is-a-good-example-of-the-futility-of-trying-to-put-things/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/955/george-carlin-155_dust_dusting-is-a-good-example-of-the-futilit_1479722.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/955/george-carlin-155_dust_dusting-is-a-good-example-of-the-futilit_1479722.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/955/george-carlin-155_dust_dusting-is-a-good-example-of-the-futilit_1479722.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/don-t-take-guilt-trips-take-a-trip-to-the-mall-to-the-next-county-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d33/george-carlin-155_country_don-t-take-guilt-trips-take-a-trip-to-th_1988720.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d33/george-carlin-155_country_don-t-take-guilt-trips-take-a-trip-to-th_1988720.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d33/george-carlin-155_country_don-t-take-guilt-trips-take-a-trip-to-th_1988720.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-next-time-they-give-you-all-that-civic-bullshit-about-voting-keep/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/george-carlin-155_bullshit_the-next-time-they-give-you-all-that-civ_394349.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/george-carlin-155_bullshit_the-next-time-they-give-you-all-that-civ_394349.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/719/george-carlin-155_bullshit_the-next-time-they-give-you-all-that-civ_394349.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/some-national-parks-have-long-waiting-lists-for-camping-reservations/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d82/george-carlin-155_camping_some-national-parks-have-long-waiting-li_2416538.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d82/george-carlin-155_camping_some-national-parks-have-long-waiting-li_2416538.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d82/george-carlin-155_camping_some-national-parks-have-long-waiting-li_2416538.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/next-time-you-see-someone-sleeping-make-believe-you-re-in-a-science/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/742/george-carlin-155_animals_next-time-you-see-someone-sleeping-make_753242.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/742/george-carlin-155_animals_next-time-you-see-someone-sleeping-make_753242.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/742/george-carlin-155_animals_next-time-you-see-someone-sleeping-make_753242.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-m-tired-of-hearing-about-innocent-victims-it-s-fiction-if-you-live/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/509/george-carlin-155_birth_i-m-tired-of-hearing-about-innocent-vict_903314.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/509/george-carlin-155_birth_i-m-tired-of-hearing-about-innocent-vict_903314.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/509/george-carlin-155_birth_i-m-tired-of-hearing-about-innocent-vict_903314.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. 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There is…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i-was-right-back-into-the-trip/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/800/george-carlin-155_albums_by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i_640899.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/800/george-carlin-155_albums_by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i_640899.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/800/george-carlin-155_albums_by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i_640899.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I never took reds or Quaaludes to balance out the coke. So when it got to be four in the morning and the gram was three quarters gone, I'd start wishing it was nine o'clock and hoping the guy got up early. But, of course, he didn't sleep either, so there was no sweat. 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'For the…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big, transcontinental, cross-country, red, white and blue stroke job... Do you know what the national emblem for this country ought to be? Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting, and seated on a chair next to him, the Statue of Liberty jerking him off. That would be a good symbol for the United Strokes of America.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/it-s-nothing-but-a-big-stroke-job-in-this-country-the-government/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b6/george-carlin-155_america_it-s-nothing-but-a-big-stroke-job-in-thi_3111389.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b6/george-carlin-155_america_it-s-nothing-but-a-big-stroke-job-in-thi_3111389.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b6/george-carlin-155_america_it-s-nothing-but-a-big-stroke-job-in-thi_3111389.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. 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