---
title: "11 Neil Simon Quotes by 11 authors"
description: "Browse 11 Neil Simon quotes by 11 authors. Discover the best Neil Simon sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/zach-woods-11886_bed_when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-ne_2726815.jpg"
---

> [When I was a kid, my father would read Neil Simon plays with me, when I was going to bed, as bedtime…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-woods/when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-neil-simon-plays-with-me-when-i-2/)

[Zach Woods](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-woods/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/zach-woods-11886_bed_when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-ne_2726815.jpg)

> [When I was in high school, I read all of Neil Simon's plays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darius-rucker/when-i-was-in-high-school-i-read-all-of-neil-simon-s-plays/)

[Darius Rucker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darius-rucker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a2/darius-rucker-2507_high-school_when-i-was-in-high-school-i-read-all-of_1412775.png)

> [Neil Simon didn't like it too much when we came out in clown makeup. We stopped doing that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ritter/neil-simon-didn-t-like-it-too-much-when-we-came-out-in-clown-makeup/)

[John Ritter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ritter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1da/john-ritter-20954_clown_neil-simon-didn-t-like-it-too-much-when_3212718.png)

> [The 'My Mother the Car' script read like Neil Simon compared to the 'Gilligan's Island' script.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-van-dyke/the-my-mother-the-car-script-read-like-neil-simon-compared-to-the/)

[Jerry Van Dyke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerry-van-dyke/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jerry-van-dyke-33589_car_the-my-mother-the-car-script-read-like-n_197475.jpg)

> [I've really enjoyed doing 'Annie Get Your Gun' and loved Neil Simon stuff like 'Chapter Two.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vicki-lawrence/i-ve-really-enjoyed-doing-annie-get-your-gun-and-loved-neil-simon/)

[Vicki Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vicki-lawrence/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/024/vicki-lawrence-7117_chapter_i-ve-really-enjoyed-doing-annie-get-your_1052222.jpg)

> [I have been working up until recently with Neil Simon, who has been adapting the character to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-abdul/i-have-been-working-up-until-recently-with-neil-simon-who-has-been/)

[Paula Abdul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-abdul/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/paula-abdul-8445_adapting_i-have-been-working-up-until-recently-wi_2174174.jpg)

> [“There's no good reason to change a Neil Simon line. The day that I'm funnier than Neil Simon, Hell will be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-alexander/there-s-no-good-reason-to-change-a-neil-simon-line-the-day-that-i-m/)

[Jason Alexander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-alexander/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cb/jason-alexander-7419_quote_there-s-no-good-reason-to-change-a-neil_866614.jpg)

> [I liked 'Brighton Beach Memoirs,' which I did with Neil Simon. I kind of was playing him, as Eugene Morris Jerome, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-broderick/i-liked-brighton-beach-memoirs-which-i-did-with-neil-simon-i-kind-of/)

[Matthew Broderick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-broderick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7e/matthew-broderick-19347_beach_i-liked-brighton-beach-memoirs-which-i-d_1275979.jpg)

> [You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hector-elizondo/you-can-trust-a-neil-simon-script-every-dot-every-dash-that-pause/)

[Hector Elizondo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hector-elizondo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67f/hector-elizondo-21372_dots_you-can-trust-a-neil-simon-script-every_2634313.png)

> [I toured around the country and met all these Broadway producers who put me in all these Neil Simon plays like 'Brighton…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-tenney/i-toured-around-the-country-and-met-all-these-broadway-producers-who/)

[Jon Tenney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-tenney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jon-tenney-28729_beach_i-toured-around-the-country-and-met-all_856965.jpg)

> [ Neil \[Simon\] was considered our greatest \[living playwright\] at the time \[of their marriage\]. Maybe he still is; I don't know. But… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marsha-mason/neil-simon-was-considered-our-greatest-living-playwright-at-the-time/)

[Marsha Mason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marsha-mason/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/marsha-mason-53761_able_neil-simon-was-considered-our-greatest-l_2607054.jpg)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neil-simon/#itemlist",
            "name": "Neil Simon Quotes",
            "numberOfItems": 11,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When I was a kid, my father would read Neil Simon plays with me, when I was going to bed, as bedtime stories.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Zach Woods"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-woods/when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-neil-simon-plays-with-me-when-i-2/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/zach-woods-11886_bed_when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-ne_2726815.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/zach-woods-11886_bed_when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-ne_2726815.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/zach-woods-11886_bed_when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-ne_2726815.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“When I was a kid, my father would read Neil Simon plays with me, when I was going to bed, as bedtime stories.” — Zach Woods",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When I was in high school, I read all of Neil Simon's plays.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Darius Rucker"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darius-rucker/when-i-was-in-high-school-i-read-all-of-neil-simon-s-plays/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a2/darius-rucker-2507_high-school_when-i-was-in-high-school-i-read-all-of_1412775.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a2/darius-rucker-2507_high-school_when-i-was-in-high-school-i-read-all-of_1412775.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a2/darius-rucker-2507_high-school_when-i-was-in-high-school-i-read-all-of_1412775.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“When I was in high school, I read all of Neil Simon's plays.” — Darius Rucker",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Neil Simon didn't like it too much when we came out in clown makeup. We stopped doing that.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "John Ritter"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ritter/neil-simon-didn-t-like-it-too-much-when-we-came-out-in-clown-makeup/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1da/john-ritter-20954_clown_neil-simon-didn-t-like-it-too-much-when_3212718.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1da/john-ritter-20954_clown_neil-simon-didn-t-like-it-too-much-when_3212718.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1da/john-ritter-20954_clown_neil-simon-didn-t-like-it-too-much-when_3212718.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Neil Simon didn't like it too much when we came out in clown makeup. We stopped doing that.” — John Ritter",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The 'My Mother the Car' script read like Neil Simon compared to the 'Gilligan's Island' script.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jerry Van Dyke"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerry-van-dyke/the-my-mother-the-car-script-read-like-neil-simon-compared-to-the/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jerry-van-dyke-33589_car_the-my-mother-the-car-script-read-like-n_197475.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jerry-van-dyke-33589_car_the-my-mother-the-car-script-read-like-n_197475.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a48/jerry-van-dyke-33589_car_the-my-mother-the-car-script-read-like-n_197475.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“The 'My Mother the Car' script read like Neil Simon compared to the 'Gilligan's Island' script.” — Jerry Van Dyke",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've really enjoyed doing 'Annie Get Your Gun' and loved Neil Simon stuff like 'Chapter Two.'",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Vicki Lawrence"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vicki-lawrence/i-ve-really-enjoyed-doing-annie-get-your-gun-and-loved-neil-simon/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/024/vicki-lawrence-7117_chapter_i-ve-really-enjoyed-doing-annie-get-your_1052222.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/024/vicki-lawrence-7117_chapter_i-ve-really-enjoyed-doing-annie-get-your_1052222.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/024/vicki-lawrence-7117_chapter_i-ve-really-enjoyed-doing-annie-get-your_1052222.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I've really enjoyed doing 'Annie Get Your Gun' and loved Neil Simon stuff like 'Chapter Two.'” — Vicki Lawrence",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 6,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I have been working up until recently with Neil Simon, who has been adapting the character to me.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Paula Abdul"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-abdul/i-have-been-working-up-until-recently-with-neil-simon-who-has-been/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/paula-abdul-8445_adapting_i-have-been-working-up-until-recently-wi_2174174.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/paula-abdul-8445_adapting_i-have-been-working-up-until-recently-wi_2174174.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a9/paula-abdul-8445_adapting_i-have-been-working-up-until-recently-wi_2174174.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I have been working up until recently with Neil Simon, who has been adapting the character to me.” — Paula Abdul",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 7,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“There's no good reason to change a Neil Simon line. The day that I'm funnier than Neil Simon, Hell will be a very chilly place.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jason Alexander"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-alexander/there-s-no-good-reason-to-change-a-neil-simon-line-the-day-that-i-m/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cb/jason-alexander-7419_quote_there-s-no-good-reason-to-change-a-neil_866614.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cb/jason-alexander-7419_quote_there-s-no-good-reason-to-change-a-neil_866614.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cb/jason-alexander-7419_quote_there-s-no-good-reason-to-change-a-neil_866614.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“There's no good reason to change a Neil Simon line. The day that I'm funnier than Neil Simon, Hell will be a…” — Jason Alexander",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 8,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I liked 'Brighton Beach Memoirs,' which I did with Neil Simon. I kind of was playing him, as Eugene Morris Jerome, and I played that a few times at the very beginning of my career.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Matthew Broderick"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-broderick/i-liked-brighton-beach-memoirs-which-i-did-with-neil-simon-i-kind-of/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7e/matthew-broderick-19347_beach_i-liked-brighton-beach-memoirs-which-i-d_1275979.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7e/matthew-broderick-19347_beach_i-liked-brighton-beach-memoirs-which-i-d_1275979.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7e/matthew-broderick-19347_beach_i-liked-brighton-beach-memoirs-which-i-d_1275979.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I liked 'Brighton Beach Memoirs,' which I did with Neil Simon. I kind of was playing him, as Eugene Morris…” — Matthew Broderick",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 9,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Hector Elizondo"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hector-elizondo/you-can-trust-a-neil-simon-script-every-dot-every-dash-that-pause/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67f/hector-elizondo-21372_dots_you-can-trust-a-neil-simon-script-every_2634313.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67f/hector-elizondo-21372_dots_you-can-trust-a-neil-simon-script-every_2634313.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67f/hector-elizondo-21372_dots_you-can-trust-a-neil-simon-script-every_2634313.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes…” — Hector Elizondo",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 10,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I toured around the country and met all these Broadway producers who put me in all these Neil Simon plays like 'Brighton Beach Memoirs' and 'Biloxi Blues.'",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jon Tenney"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-tenney/i-toured-around-the-country-and-met-all-these-broadway-producers-who/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jon-tenney-28729_beach_i-toured-around-the-country-and-met-all_856965.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jon-tenney-28729_beach_i-toured-around-the-country-and-met-all_856965.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/jon-tenney-28729_beach_i-toured-around-the-country-and-met-all_856965.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I toured around the country and met all these Broadway producers who put me in all these Neil Simon plays…” — Jon Tenney",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 11,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Neil [Simon] was considered our greatest [living playwright] at the time [of their marriage]. Maybe he still is; I don't know. But anyway, he was hugely successful, and I just kind of got folded into that. And in some ways, he protected me, but in other ways, I wasn't fully able to step out, you know? He didn't want me to go away so much. The work that we did together was great, and I don't regret it, but what I am saying is that I didn't get an opportunity to explore some other areas that were offered to me early on. I took what I might call a U-turn.",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Marsha Mason"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marsha-mason/neil-simon-was-considered-our-greatest-living-playwright-at-the-time/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/marsha-mason-53761_able_neil-simon-was-considered-our-greatest-l_2607054.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/marsha-mason-53761_able_neil-simon-was-considered-our-greatest-l_2607054.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/marsha-mason-53761_able_neil-simon-was-considered-our-greatest-l_2607054.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Neil [Simon] was considered our greatest [living playwright] at the time [of their marriage]. Maybe he still…” — Marsha Mason",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neil-simon/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neil-simon/",
            "name": "Neil Simon Quotes",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neil-simon/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/zach-woods-11886_bed_when-i-was-a-kid-my-father-would-read-ne_2726815.jpg"
            },
            "description": "Browse 11 Neil Simon quotes by 11 authors. Discover the best Neil Simon sayings and thoughts.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neil-simon/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neil-simon/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Neil Simon Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neil-simon/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```