---
title: "11 Needs Quotes By Dennis Miller"
description: "11 Needs quotes by Dennis Miller. Plus more from Dennis Miller and more Needs sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/213/dennis-miller-1315_carrots_joan-rivers-telling-lauren-bacall-her-dr_2553143.png"
---

> [Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/joan-rivers-telling-lauren-bacall-her-dress-is-all-wrong-is-like/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/213/dennis-miller-1315_carrots_joan-rivers-telling-lauren-bacall-her-dr_2553143.png)

> [We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/we-need-anything-politically-important-rationed-out-like-pez-small/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d0/dennis-miller-1315_coming-out_we-need-anything-politically-important-r_123194.jpg)

> [I don't need to be born again. I got it right the first time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-don-t-need-to-be-born-again-i-got-it-right-the-first-time/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b68/dennis-miller-1315_birth_i-don-t-need-to-be-born-again-i-got-it-r_1858683.png)

> [For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/for-the-foreseeable-future-we-re-going-to-need-oil-products-because-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/dennis-miller-1315_car_for-the-foreseeable-future-we-re-going-t_2549240.png)

> [After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things: First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms .…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/after-7-years-of-marriage-i-am-sure-of-2-things-first-never-wallpaper/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/402/dennis-miller-1315_bathroom_after-7-years-of-marriage-i-am-sure-of-2_960085.jpg)

> [Of \*course\* he needs to renegotiate his salary - the guy buys more snow than Seward did when he bought Alaska from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/of-course-he-needs-to-renegotiate-his-salary-the-guy-buys-more-snow/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58e/dennis-miller-1315_alaska_of-course-he-needs-to-renegotiate-his-sa_614104.png)

> [There's no doubt about it, show business lures the people who didn't get enough love, attention, or approval early in life and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/there-s-no-doubt-about-it-show-business-lures-the-people-who-didn-t/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/222/dennis-miller-1315_approval_there-s-no-doubt-about-it-show-business_766519.png)

> [Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/maybe-democrats-will-eventually-turn-on-obamacare-when-they-realize/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65c/dennis-miller-1315_democracy_maybe-democrats-will-eventually-turn-on_528899.png)

> [I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-ve-grown-fonder-for-hillary-clinton-since-she-ran-for-the/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ce/dennis-miller-1315_bats_i-ve-grown-fonder-for-hillary-clinton-si_324294.png)

> [Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-species-to-think-that-a-highly/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b74/dennis-miller-1315_alien_only-man-is-a-narcissistic-enough-specie_462755.png)

> [The very definition of the innate hollowness of leading a political life when you end up on your nearest and dearest moments…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-very-definition-of-the-innate-hollowness-of-leading-a-political/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8bf/dennis-miller-1315_definition_the-very-definition-of-the-innate-hollow_2083764.png)

## Other authors on Needs

## More by Dennis Miller

> [Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/laughter-is-one-of-the-great-beacons-in-life-because-we-don-t-refract/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/it-takes-zero-politically-correct-people-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/drop-the-veneer-periodically-and-be-like-ok-i-m-an-imperfect-human/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/american-s-could-be-any-more-self-absorbed-if-they-were-made-of-equal/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/nowadays-with-history-not-being-taught-anymore-in-american-public/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-think-abortion-s-wrong-but-it-s-none-of-my-business-to-tell/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/americans-stick-their-nose-where-it-doesn-t-belong-more-than-cyrano/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/we-need-anything-politically-important-rationed-out-like-pez-small/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/dennis-kucinich-s-politics-are-more-scrambled-than-rod-steiger-s/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/somebody-call-janet-reno-i-think-i-just-saw-donato-dragging-doug/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-have-sympathy-for-any-human-being-that-s-driven-by-their-limbic/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-haven-t-seen-someone-so-overmatched-since-mike-tyson-tried-to/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [ There's a lot of differing data \[about global warming\], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/there-s-a-lot-of-differing-data-about-global-warming-but-as-far-as-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-good-thing-about-pittsburgh-it-s-a-good-place-to-be-raised-it/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

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                        "text": "I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song, you can't always get what you want, i.e., the grail. Sometimes you get what you need. And whatever she's gotten over the last couple of years, being humbled or be it being humbled and see the proletariat come to bat for her, getting outside of the bubble, getting out of this man's shadow, not quite getting the job she wants but a great wonk job.",
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                        "text": "Only man is a narcissistic enough species to think that a highly evolved alien life force would travel across billions and billions of light-years- a group of aliens so intelligent, so insouciant, so utterly above it all, they feel no need whatsoever to equip their spacecraft with windows so that they can gaze out on all that celestial beauty-but then immediately upon landing, their first impulse is to get in some hick's ass with a flashlight.",
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                        "text": "The very definition of the innate hollowness of leading a political life when you end up on your nearest and dearest moments or most personal evenings with donors. That should - that should tell you all you need to know about the ramble that is politics.",
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