--- title: "11 Needs Quotes By Christopher Moore" description: "11 Needs quotes by Christopher Moore. Plus more from Christopher Moore and more Needs sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ba/christopher-moore-353_death_so-now-you-re-death-here-s-what-you-ll-n_366497.png" --- > [So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/so-now-you-re-death-here-s-what-you-ll-need/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ba/christopher-moore-353_death_so-now-you-re-death-here-s-what-you-ll-n_366497.png) > [Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/sweetheart-wake-up-you-ve-destroyed-the-house-and-i-need-you-to/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f3/christopher-moore-353_destroyed_sweetheart-wake-up-you-ve-destroyed-the_1724955.png) > [Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/love-needs-room-to-grow-like-a-rose-or-a-tumor/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/535/christopher-moore-353_flowers_love-needs-room-to-grow-like-a-rose-or-a_1462865.png) > [What this movie needs is more brain eating zombies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/what-this-movie-needs-is-more-brain-eating-zombies/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f3/christopher-moore-353_brain_what-this-movie-needs-is-more-brain-eati_2643157.png) > [As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/as-much-as-i-encourage-communication-with-my-readers-i-don-t-want/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/906/christopher-moore-353_books_as-much-as-i-encourage-communication-wit_1200175.png) > [Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/don-t-drive-drunk-ever-don-t-shag-anyone-you-don-t-like-or-who-doesn/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58c/christopher-moore-353_ask-for-help_don-t-drive-drunk-ever-don-t-shag-anyone_347065.jpg) > [They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/they-want-to-be-tied-up-i-tie-them-up-they-want-to-be-spanked-i-spank/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a67/christopher-moore-353_baby_they-want-to-be-tied-up-i-tie-them-up-th_2804473.png) > [Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/like-last-year-i-took-advance-foods-class-which-is-like-cooking-for/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/christopher-moore-353_abby_like-last-year-i-took-advance-foods-clas_336218.png) > [ The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. \[...\] The children… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/the-angel-has-confided-in-me-that-he-is-going-to-ask-the-lord-if-he/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/christopher-moore-353_angel_the-angel-has-confided-in-me-that-he-is_2372029.png) > [Stop," I said. "Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/stop-i-said-please-do-not-further-endorken-yourself-to-me-you-have/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/christopher-moore-353_agendas_stop-i-said-please-do-not-further-endork_1509326.jpg) > [If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it. If you are here to be offended, may your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/if-you-have-come-to-these-pages-for-laughter-may-you-find-it-if-you/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/christopher-moore-353_adventure_if-you-have-come-to-these-pages-for-laug_1556969.png) ## Other authors on Needs ## More by Christopher Moore > [“Love them all," said Renoir. "That is the secret, young man. Love them all." The painter let go of his arm and shrugged. "Then,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/love-them-all-said-renoir-that-is-the-secret-young-man-love-them-all/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/i-tried-cutting-myself-to-express-my-heartbreak-over-tommy-lord-flood/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/canada-is-a-myth-people-made-up-to-entertain-children-like-the-tooth/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [Sarcasm will make your tits fall off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/sarcasm-will-make-your-tits-fall-off/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“I hope you are not here to ask me to do my bawdy business- the monkey has a nosebleed and the circus, sir, is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/i-hope-you-are-not-here-to-ask-me-to-do-my-bawdy-business-the-monkey/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [The prospect of change is a many-fanged beast, my dear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/the-prospect-of-change-is-a-many-fanged-beast-my-dear/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“The night was crisp and the stars shone with a cold blue light like loneliness or infinity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/the-night-was-crisp-and-the-stars-shone-with-a-cold-blue-light-like/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [Children see magic because they look for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/children-see-magic-because-they-look-for-it/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/abby-von-normal-and-i-m-like-don-t-change-the-subject-kung-pao-what-i/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/you-can-t-just-go-around-blurting-out-the-truth-like-a-prophet-with/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [How could you deal with a creature as devious as woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/how-could-you-deal-with-a-creature-as-devious-as-woman/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/turning-your-ankle-hurts-like-hell-even-if-you-re-a-superhero/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [Lonliness evaporated off of them like the steam off dry ice, and by morning it was just a cloud on the ceiling of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/lonliness-evaporated-off-of-them-like-the-steam-off-dry-ice-and-by/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“Give us a call or you know, flash a searchlight in the sky with your logo on it, because we monitor everything.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/give-us-a-call-or-you-know-flash-a-searchlight-in-the-sky-with-your/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) > [“it wasn't so much like the hands of time had stood still here, more like they'd been thrown in the air in exasperation, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/it-wasn-t-so-much-like-the-hands-of-time-had-stood-still-here-more/) [Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/needs/christopher-moore/#itemlist", "name": "11 Needs Quotes By Christopher Moore", "numberOfItems": 11, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Moore" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/so-now-you-re-death-here-s-what-you-ll-need/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ba/christopher-moore-353_death_so-now-you-re-death-here-s-what-you-ll-n_366497.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ba/christopher-moore-353_death_so-now-you-re-death-here-s-what-you-ll-n_366497.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ba/christopher-moore-353_death_so-now-you-re-death-here-s-what-you-ll-n_366497.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So Now You're Death: Here's What You'll Need” — Christopher Moore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sweetheart, wake up; 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Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live in a place where you don't. Suffering is over-rated, don't pursue it. Ask for help when you need it, don't when you don't, and learn to recognize the difference. Don't confuse movement and progress. Be kind. Be forgiving. Pay attention.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Moore" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/don-t-drive-drunk-ever-don-t-shag-anyone-you-don-t-like-or-who-doesn/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58c/christopher-moore-353_ask-for-help_don-t-drive-drunk-ever-don-t-shag-anyone_347065.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58c/christopher-moore-353_ask-for-help_don-t-drive-drunk-ever-don-t-shag-anyone_347065.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58c/christopher-moore-353_ask-for-help_don-t-drive-drunk-ever-don-t-shag-anyone_347065.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people…” — Christopher Moore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Moore" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/they-want-to-be-tied-up-i-tie-them-up-they-want-to-be-spanked-i-spank/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a67/christopher-moore-353_baby_they-want-to-be-tied-up-i-tie-them-up-th_2804473.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a67/christopher-moore-353_baby_they-want-to-be-tied-up-i-tie-them-up-th_2804473.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a67/christopher-moore-353_baby_they-want-to-be-tied-up-i-tie-them-up-th_2804473.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names…” — Christopher Moore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, what do I need with like advanced digital HD wi-fi foods and whatnot? -Abby", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Moore" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/like-last-year-i-took-advance-foods-class-which-is-like-cooking-for/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/christopher-moore-353_abby_like-last-year-i-took-advance-foods-clas_336218.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/christopher-moore-353_abby_like-last-year-i-took-advance-foods-clas_336218.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3da/christopher-moore-353_abby_like-last-year-i-took-advance-foods-clas_336218.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually…” — Christopher Moore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The children need heroes, he says. I think he just wants to swing from buildings in tight red jammies.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Moore" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/the-angel-has-confided-in-me-that-he-is-going-to-ask-the-lord-if-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/christopher-moore-353_angel_the-angel-has-confided-in-me-that-he-is_2372029.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/christopher-moore-353_angel_the-angel-has-confided-in-me-that-he-is_2372029.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/christopher-moore-353_angel_the-angel-has-confided-in-me-that-he-is_2372029.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The angel has confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Spider-Man. [...] The…” — Christopher Moore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Stop,\" I said. \"Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most fly, and you have just saved me with your mad ninja driving skills, so do not sully your heroic hottie image in my mind by further reciting your nerdy scholastic agenda. Don't tell me what you're studying, Steve, tell me what's in your soul. What haunts you?\" And he was like, \"Dude, you need to cut back on the caffeine.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Moore" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/stop-i-said-please-do-not-further-endorken-yourself-to-me-you-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/christopher-moore-353_agendas_stop-i-said-please-do-not-further-endork_1509326.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/christopher-moore-353_agendas_stop-i-said-please-do-not-further-endork_1509326.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/christopher-moore-353_agendas_stop-i-said-please-do-not-further-endork_1509326.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Stop,\" I said. \"Please do not further endorken yourself to me. You have great hair and a car that is most…” — Christopher Moore", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it. If you are here to be offended, may your ire rise and your blood boil. If you seek an adventure, may this song sing you away to blissful escape. If you need to test or confirm your beliefs, may you reach comfortable conclusions. All books reveal perfection, by what they are or what they are not. May you find that which you seek, in these pages or outside them. May you find perfection, and know it by name.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Christopher Moore" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/if-you-have-come-to-these-pages-for-laughter-may-you-find-it-if-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/christopher-moore-353_adventure_if-you-have-come-to-these-pages-for-laug_1556969.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/christopher-moore-353_adventure_if-you-have-come-to-these-pages-for-laug_1556969.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/christopher-moore-353_adventure_if-you-have-come-to-these-pages-for-laug_1556969.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it. 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