--- title: "7 My favorite Quotes By Demetri Martin" description: "7 My favorite quotes by Demetri Martin. Plus more from Demetri Martin and more My favorite sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6da/demetri-martin-511_band_i-like-to-go-to-concerts-because-i-love_42310.jpg" --- > [I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-like-to-go-to-concerts-because-i-love-to-see-my-favorite-band/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6da/demetri-martin-511_band_i-like-to-go-to-concerts-because-i-love_42310.jpg) > [Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/skiing-is-my-favorite-sport-because-that-s-the-only-sport-that-is/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/043/demetri-martin-511_comedy_skiing-is-my-favorite-sport-because-that_69854.jpg) > [I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-my-favorite-sound-is-the-sound-of-someone-not-playing-the/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/913/demetri-martin-511_bongos_i-think-my-favorite-sound-is-the-sound-o_138783.jpg) > [Halloween's my favorite holiday because you don't have to spend it with your family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/halloween-s-my-favorite-holiday-because-you-don-t-have-to-spend-it/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/140/demetri-martin-511_family_halloween-s-my-favorite-holiday-because_402791.jpg) > [My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/my-favorite-fruit-is-grapes-because-with-grapes-you-always-get/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91d/demetri-martin-511_another-chance_my-favorite-fruit-is-grapes-because-with_2584753.jpg) > [Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/usually-my-favorite-joke-is-whichever-joke-i-most-recently-came-up/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9c/demetri-martin-511_came_usually-my-favorite-joke-is-whichever-jo_2724298.jpg) > [One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/one-of-my-favorite-clothing-patterns-is-camouflage-because-when-you/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf2/demetri-martin-511_camouflage_one-of-my-favorite-clothing-patterns-is_3202552.jpg) ## Other authors on My favorite ## More by Demetri Martin > [I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-hair-gel-was-invented-to-make-it-easier-to-identify-assholes/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/tic-tacs-are-the-maracas-of-breath-mints/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/when-someone-describes-themself-as-a-taxpayer-they-re-about-to-be-an/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I think they named the orange before the carrot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-they-named-the-orange-before-the-carrot/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-like-to-go-to-concerts-because-i-love-to-see-my-favorite-band/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/how-fast-does-a-zebra-have-to-run-before-it-looks-gray/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/skiing-is-my-favorite-sport-because-that-s-the-only-sport-that-is/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-know-about-woodstock-probably-as-much-as-your-average-person-who-is/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/never-be-less-interesting-than-your-refrigerator-magnets/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-bought-a-cactus-a-week-later-it-died-and-i-got-depressed-because-i/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-wednesday-with-no-rain-is-a-dry-hump-day/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/thing-to-try-if-you-are-asked-to-describe-a-suspect-to-a-police/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/if-you-happen-to-catch-on-fire-during-the-show-do-not-panic-or-wave/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/they-say-that-structure-is-freedom-and-in-a-sense-it-is-when-you-re/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-my-favorite-sound-is-the-sound-of-someone-not-playing-the/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/my-favorite/demetri-martin/#itemlist", "name": "7 My favorite Quotes By Demetri Martin", "numberOfItems": 7, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.", "creator": { 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