--- title: "1 Mum Told Quotes By Jimmy Carr" description: "1 Mum Told quotes by Jimmy Carr. Plus more from Jimmy Carr and more Mum Told sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/206/jimmy-carr-6018_advice_my-mum-told-me-the-best-time-to-ask-my-d_2685820.jpg" --- > [My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/my-mum-told-me-the-best-time-to-ask-my-dad-for-anything-was-during/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/206/jimmy-carr-6018_advice_my-mum-told-me-the-best-time-to-ask-my-d_2685820.jpg) ## More by Jimmy Carr > [I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/i-m-not-being-condescending-i-m-too-busy-thinking-about-far-more/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/there-s-things-that-i-couldn-t-joke-about-but-other-people-could/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/staying-in-luxury-hotels-still-gives-me-a-kick-especially-oulton-hall/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/i-worry-about-my-nan-if-she-s-alone-and-falls-does-she-make-a-noise-i/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/my-dad-s-dying-wish-was-to-have-his-family-around-him-i-can-t-help/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/i-don-t-think-young-people-should-have-bottoms-they-re-too-young-for/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [“When I travel, I get lovesick. Well, they call it chlamydia.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/when-i-travel-i-get-lovesick-well-they-call-it-chlamydia/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [I don't see myself as offending people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/i-don-t-see-myself-as-offending-people/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/tv-s-not-the-same-buzz-if-someone-tells-you-three-million-people/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/even-if-you-re-doing-the-national-insurance-awards-there-s-still-that/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/more-people-are-going-out-to-comedy-shows-than-they-were-before/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/i-was-in-love-with-the-idea-of-being-in-love-with-a-woman-way-before/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/no-matter-how-much-you-give-a-homeless-person-for-tea-you-never-get/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/when-you-eat-a-lot-of-spicy-food-you-can-lose-your-taste-when-i-was/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) > [I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-carr/i-do-realise-that-when-i-laugh-it-sounds-like-a-seal-is-being-molested/) [Jimmy Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-carr/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mum-told/jimmy-carr/#itemlist", "name": "1 Mum Told Quotes By Jimmy Carr", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying \"Can I have a new bike?\". He was very upset. 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