---
title: "Best Motel Quotes"
description: "Browse 53 Motel quotes by 50 authors. Discover the best Motel sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e9/jackie-mason-7965_bible_why-is-it-that-they-have-bibles-in-every_2253062.jpg"
---

> [Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackie-mason/why-is-it-that-they-have-bibles-in-every-motel-room-why-should-a-man/)

[Jackie Mason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jackie-mason/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e9/jackie-mason-7965_bible_why-is-it-that-they-have-bibles-in-every_2253062.jpg)

> [One time I stayed at a haunted motel. When I checked into my room, there was a sheet on the floor, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/one-time-i-stayed-at-a-haunted-motel-when-i-checked-into-my-room/)

[Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/796/mitch-hedberg-695_funny_one-time-i-stayed-at-a-haunted-motel-whe_3143638.png)

> [Without stopping kissing her, he swept her up into his arms. They stood in the motel lobby kissing until someone called, "Get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-marr/without-stopping-kissing-her-he-swept-her-up-into-his-arms-they-stood/)

[Melissa Marr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-marr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/973/melissa-marr-1875_arms_without-stopping-kissing-her-he-swept-he_1210865.jpg)

> [The man behind the check-in counter gives the impression that he has just axe-murdered the motel's owner (and family, and family pet)…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-quarrington/the-man-behind-the-check-in-counter-gives-the-impression-that-he-has/)

[Paul Quarrington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-quarrington/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bac/paul-quarrington-39895_behinds_the-man-behind-the-check-in-counter-give_1102678.jpg)

> [When I do think, ‘Man a f—cking motel room with a couple of thousand dollars worth of narcotics would do me right,’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony/when-i-do-think-man-a-f-cking-motel-room-with-a-couple-of-thousand/)

[Anthony](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a8/anthony-29481_busters_when-i-do-think-man-a-f-cking-motel-room_1552939.jpg)

> [“Patrick explained that your father is absent. What about your mother, dear?" Mother? Oh, she's in a dusty motel in California right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruta-sepetys/patrick-explained-that-your-father-is-absent-what-about-your-mother/)

[Ruta Sepetys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruta-sepetys/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f34/ruta-sepetys-2570_father_patrick-explained-that-your-father-is-ab_1978630.jpg)

> [“Here you are, just out of Death's Motel and short an arm, and she wants to call it off. Because you poked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/here-you-are-just-out-of-death-s-motel-and-short-an-arm-and-she-wants/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c89/stephen-king-13_motel_here-you-are-just-out-of-death-s-motel-a_403974.jpg)

> [My parents worked harder than anyone I have ever met. They had so many businesses. There was the motel, but throughout my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabaa-tahir/my-parents-worked-harder-than-anyone-i-have-ever-met-they-had-so-many/)

[Sabaa Tahir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabaa-tahir/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ef/sabaa-tahir-8196_business_my-parents-worked-harder-than-anyone-i-h_3148395.jpg)

> [“He tucks his hands on the back of my head and rests his mouth on my forehead. I close my eyes. “I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-halbrook/he-tucks-his-hands-on-the-back-of-my-head-and-rests-his-mouth-on-my/)

[Kristin Halbrook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-halbrook/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b7/kristin-halbrook-40327_love_he-tucks-his-hands-on-the-back-of-my-hea_2623104.jpg)

> [If you got up this morning and had fruits for breakfast, it was probably picked by the bent back of an immigrant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-menendez/if-you-got-up-this-morning-and-had-fruits-for-breakfast-it-was/)

[Bob Menendez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-menendez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/77e/bob-menendez-14337_back_if-you-got-up-this-morning-and-had-fruit_1601081.png)

> [“followed him to a motel named the Bonds of Erotic Polymorphic Experience, a sixty-unit sub-surface structure catering to businessmen and their hookers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/followed-him-to-a-motel-named-the-bonds-of-erotic-polymorphic/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7b/anonymous-1_motel_followed-him-to-a-motel-named-the-bonds_456006.jpg)

> [“This has been a long day. Rest is most likely the best thing we could do right now, even if it does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sally-slayer/this-has-been-a-long-day-rest-is-most-likely-the-best-thing-we-could/)

Sally Slayer

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/sally-slayer-275617_long-day_this-has-been-a-long-day-rest-is-most-li_1528586.jpg)

> [There are a lot of funny motels. There was one motel in the middle of nowhere: it was real plain, but it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fred-schneider/there-are-a-lot-of-funny-motels-there-was-one-motel-in-the-middle-of/)

[Fred Schneider](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fred-schneider/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92d/fred-schneider-18180_funny_there-are-a-lot-of-funny-motels-there-wa_170243.jpg)

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                        "text": "“Here you are, just out of Death's Motel and short an arm, and she wants to call it off. Because you poked her with a plastic hospital knife when you could barely remember your own name? Fuck me til I cry!”",
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                        "text": "“He tucks his hands on the back of my head and rests his mouth on my forehead. I close my eyes. “I could stand here forever,” he says. “In this place? This oh-so-classy motel room?” “That’s the thing. It don’t matter where.”",
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