---
title: "86 Monty Quotes by 65 authors"
description: "Browse 86 Monty quotes by 65 authors. Discover the best Monty sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/eric-idle-3734_bats_a-nod-s-as-good-as-a-wink-to-a-blind-bat_2777107.jpg"
---

> [A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-idle/a-nod-s-as-good-as-a-wink-to-a-blind-bat/)

[Eric Idle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-idle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/eric-idle-3734_bats_a-nod-s-as-good-as-a-wink-to-a-blind-bat_2777107.jpg)

> [I grew up on 'Monty Python.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ty-burrell/i-grew-up-on-monty-python/)

[Ty Burrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ty-burrell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f5/ty-burrell-13085_grew_i-grew-up-on-monty-python-1331509_1331509.png)

> [What have the Romans ever done for us?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/what-have-the-romans-ever-done-for-us/)

[John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb7/john-cleese-1768_done_what-have-the-romans-ever-done-for-us-24_2441004.jpg)

> [I have a weird sense of humour. My dad's the same. We love watching 'Monty Python' together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miranda-kerr/i-have-a-weird-sense-of-humour-my-dad-s-the-same-we-love-watching/)

[Miranda Kerr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miranda-kerr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c12/miranda-kerr-3096_dad_i-have-a-weird-sense-of-humour-my-dad-s_1118924.png)

> [Growing up, I watched shows such as 'Blackadder' and 'Monty Python' with my parents.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mathew-baynton/growing-up-i-watched-shows-such-as-blackadder-and-monty-python-with/)

[Mathew Baynton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mathew-baynton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/561/mathew-baynton-39977_growing_growing-up-i-watched-shows-such-as-black_2746270.jpg)

> [I'd grown up loving English films. I was a huge Monty Python fanatic as a kid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alessandro-nivola/i-d-grown-up-loving-english-films-i-was-a-huge-monty-python-fanatic/)

[Alessandro Nivola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alessandro-nivola/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64a/alessandro-nivola-17288_film_i-d-grown-up-loving-english-films-i-was_1511441.png)

> [Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-chapman/listen-strange-women-lyin-in-ponds-distributin-swords-is-no-basis-for/)

[Graham Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-chapman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/deb/graham-chapman-15627_autonomous_listen-strange-women-lyin-in-ponds-distr_2921259.jpg)

> [“What are you doing a study on right now?" "A study on the statistical probablity of love at first sight.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-e-smith/what-are-you-doing-a-study-on-right-now-a-study-on-the-statistical/)

[Jennifer E. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-e-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b39/jennifer-e-smith-1454_alex_what-are-you-doing-a-study-on-right-now_2090890.jpg)

> ['Monty Python' is now more recognised by the films than by the TV series.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-gatiss/monty-python-is-now-more-recognised-by-the-films-than-by-the-tv-series/)

[Mark Gatiss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-gatiss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b99/mark-gatiss-10930_films_monty-python-is-now-more-recognised-by-t_2727329.jpg)

> [The Full Monty, ah, it's superb. The Full Monty showed how life really is in certain cities of England.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-roberts/the-full-monty-ah-it-s-superb-the-full-monty-showed-how-life-really/)

[Mark Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-roberts/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/mark-roberts-21465_ah_the-full-monty-ah-it-s-superb-the-full-m_2329582.jpg)

> [No day of my life passes without someone saying the words 'Monty Python' to me. It's not bad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-idle/no-day-of-my-life-passes-without-someone-saying-the-words-monty/)

[Eric Idle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-idle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc8/eric-idle-3734_life_no-day-of-my-life-passes-without-someone_334901.jpg)

> [Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-palin/listen-strange-women-lying-in-ponds-distributing-swords-is-no-basis/)

[Michael Palin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-palin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd7/michael-palin-7172_arthurian-legend_listen-strange-women-lying-in-ponds-dist_1434689.jpg)

> [If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-macfarlane/if-a-song-is-funny-and-absurd-and-it-sounds-great-it-s-just-going-to/)

[Seth MacFarlane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-macfarlane/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/seth-macfarlane-4710_absurd_if-a-song-is-funny-and-absurd-and-it-sou_2929993.png)

> [The solution of the Monty Hall problem hinges on the concept of information, and more specifically, on the relationship between added information…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hans-christian-von-baeyer/the-solution-of-the-monty-hall-problem-hinges-on-the-concept-of/)

[Hans Christian von Baeyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hans-christian-von-baeyer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56d/hans-christian-von-baeyer-2413_concepts_the-solution-of-the-monty-hall-problem-h_2924456.jpg)

> [I grew up watching Letterman, 'Seinfeld,' 'SNL,' and Monty Python movies. But nothing made me want to get into comedy more than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-mande/i-grew-up-watching-letterman-seinfeld-snl-and-monty-python-movies-but/)

[Joe Mande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-mande/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/74f/joe-mande-38727_comedy_i-grew-up-watching-letterman-seinfeld-sn_3029171.jpg)

> [I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-palin/i-cut-down-trees-i-skip-and-jump-i-like-to-press-wild-flowers-i-put/)

[Michael Palin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-palin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/236/michael-palin-7172_bars_i-cut-down-trees-i-skip-and-jump-i-like_1206994.jpg)

> [Everybody uses pop culture as a shorthand. You might make an obscure reference to Monty Python or Iron Eagle that only some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-cline/everybody-uses-pop-culture-as-a-shorthand-you-might-make-an-obscure/)

[Ernest Cline](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-cline/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/ernest-cline-1857_culture_everybody-uses-pop-culture-as-a-shorthan_2323639.png)

> [My favorite work is The Full Monty because I got an Oscar for it. But it was really hard work at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-dudley/my-favorite-work-is-the-full-monty-because-i-got-an-oscar-for-it-but/)

[Anne Dudley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-dudley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/339/anne-dudley-34372_comedy_my-favorite-work-is-the-full-monty-becau_1544828.jpg)

> [All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/all-right-but-apart-from-the-sanitation-medicine-education-wine/)

[John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdc/john-cleese-1768_done_all-right-but-apart-from-the-sanitation_1567124.jpg)

> [One night, I pissed into an empty wine bottle so I could continue watching Monty Python, and suddenly thought 'I've never tasted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-eno/one-night-i-pissed-into-an-empty-wine-bottle-so-i-could-continue/)

[Brian Eno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-eno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaf/brian-eno-776_bottles_one-night-i-pissed-into-an-empty-wine-bo_1787089.jpg)

> [You write who you are somehow. Even if you try to not to. You can't help but write who you are. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simon-beaufoy/you-write-who-you-are-somehow-even-if-you-try-to-not-to-you-can-t/)

[Simon Beaufoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simon-beaufoy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/062/simon-beaufoy-15168_believe_you-write-who-you-are-somehow-even-if-yo_3235185.jpg)

> [ I knew Richard E. Grant, and I went to him and said "Would you like to \[play Kafka in the film\]?" and… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-capaldi/i-knew-richard-e-grant-and-i-went-to-him-and-said-would-you-like-to/)

[Peter Capaldi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-capaldi/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/850/peter-capaldi-2535_bits_i-knew-richard-e-grant-and-i-went-to-him_238430.png)

> [This thought-provoking novel portrays the absurdity of our overbearing government bureaucracy with a story that is entertaining and fast-paced. The Taxman Cometh…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grover-norquist/this-thought-provoking-novel-portrays-the-absurdity-of-our/)

[Grover Norquist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grover-norquist/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/grover-norquist-3806_absurdity_this-thought-provoking-novel-portrays-th_1486891.png)

> [I love crazy names. It comes right from Monty Python and Woody Allen - nothing in the world makes me giggle more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-schur/i-love-crazy-names-it-comes-right-from-monty-python-and-woody-allen/)

[Michael Schur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-schur/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4dd/michael-schur-12718_apples_i-love-crazy-names-it-comes-right-from-m_2893075.jpg)

> [I was always a fan of the old-style comics. I loved vaudeville. I loved Milton Berle, Dick Shawn, Phyllis Diller, Don Rickles,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-the-cable-guy/i-was-always-a-fan-of-the-old-style-comics-i-loved-vaudeville-i-loved/)

[Larry the Cable Guy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-the-cable-guy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/larry-the-cable-guy-5028_always_i-was-always-a-fan-of-the-old-style-comi_1792163.jpg)

> [I have gone into town to buy a few last things we need for the expedition: Peruvian wasp repellent, toothbrushes, canned peaches,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-have-gone-into-town-to-buy-a-few-last-things-we-need-for-the/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e11/anonymous-1_expeditions_i-have-gone-into-town-to-buy-a-few-last_148426.jpg)

> [I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sadoski/i-grew-up-a-huge-fan-of-the-three-stooges-and-monty-python-so/)

[Thomas Sadoski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sadoski/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/417/thomas-sadoski-23296_chair_i-grew-up-a-huge-fan-of-the-three-stooge_725874.jpg)

> [First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more-no less. Three shall be the number…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-palin/first-shalt-thou-take-out-the-holy-pin-then-shalt-thou-count-to-three/)

[Michael Palin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-palin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19b/michael-palin-7172_antioch_first-shalt-thou-take-out-the-holy-pin-t_1740410.jpg)

> [The middle way is still driving on the wrong side of the road; it still permits the killing of the fox for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyndon-harrison-baron-harrison/the-middle-way-is-still-driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-road-it/)

Lyndon Harrison, Baron Harrison

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c1/lyndon-harrison-baron-harrison_agony_the-middle-way-is-still-driving-on-the-w_1181119.jpg)

> [You don't get a lot of life milestones in show business. It's really difficult to make things, and a lot of times…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-aukerman/you-don-t-get-a-lot-of-life-milestones-in-show-business-it-s-really/)

[Scott Aukerman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-aukerman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eff/scott-aukerman-8951_business_you-don-t-get-a-lot-of-life-milestones-i_2717337.jpg)

> [The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-c-k/the-earliest-stand-up-comedy-i-was-aware-of-was-bill-cosby-i-watched/)

[Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-c-k/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abc/louis-c-k-1150_bills_the-earliest-stand-up-comedy-i-was-aware_637779.png)

> [I just play to progressive audiences. You know, if they're watching Discovery Channel, History Channel, that kind of thing, "Monty Python" have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-izzard/i-just-play-to-progressive-audiences-you-know-if-they-re-watching/)

[Eddie Izzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-izzard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc4/eddie-izzard-1732_around-the-world_i-just-play-to-progressive-audiences-you_786881.jpg)

> [Monty Python: A documentary series on everyday life in Great Britain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-portman/monty-python-a-documentary-series-on-everyday-life-in-great-britain/)

[Frank Portman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-portman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bd/frank-portman-27804_britain_monty-python-a-documentary-series-on-eve_1153912.png)

> [The whole idea of creating saints, it's pure 'Monty Python.' They have to clock up two miracles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/the-whole-idea-of-creating-saints-it-s-pure-monty-python-they-have-to/)

[Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d4/richard-dawkins-115_clock_the-whole-idea-of-creating-saints-it-s-p_2500679.jpg)

> [You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-williams/you-can-start-any-monty-python-routine-and-people-finish-it-for-you/)

[Robin Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df1/robin-williams-682_finish_you-can-start-any-monty-python-routine-a_677375.jpg)

> [Nobody and nothing beats The Simpsons. Even after all this time, it's still the best satire since Monty Python.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-cooper/nobody-and-nothing-beats-the-simpsons-even-after-all-this-time-it-s/)

[Alice Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-cooper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/925/alice-cooper-2435_beats_nobody-and-nothing-beats-the-simpsons-ev_1216732.png)

> [I love 'Monty Python,' 'Black Adder,' 'Fawlty Towers.' I'm a huge fan of British comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isla-fisher/i-love-monty-python-black-adder-fawlty-towers-i-m-a-huge-fan-of/)

[Isla Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isla-fisher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be2/isla-fisher-10319_adders_i-love-monty-python-black-adder-fawlty-t_2525955.png)

> ['Monty Python' and 'The Simpsons' have ruined comedy for writers for the rest of our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-adsit/monty-python-and-the-simpsons-have-ruined-comedy-for-writers-for-the/)

[Scott Adsit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-adsit/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0eb/scott-adsit-14920_comedy_monty-python-and-the-simpsons-have-ruine_754736.jpg)

> [“I have become a veritable scholar in seemingly innocent ploys to get his skin against mine.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mackenzi-lee/i-have-become-a-veritable-scholar-in-seemingly-innocent-ploys-to-get/)

[Mackenzi Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mackenzi-lee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd2/mackenzi-lee-8100_monty_i-have-become-a-veritable-scholar-in-see_1990808.jpg)

> [But as a kid, I loved 'Monty Python.' My Dad was a devout watcher. We used to watch it when we ate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wes-bentley/but-as-a-kid-i-loved-monty-python-my-dad-was-a-devout-watcher-we-used/)

[Wes Bentley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wes-bentley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f50/wes-bentley-21238_dad_but-as-a-kid-i-loved-monty-python-my-dad_1918413.jpg)

## Top authors on Monty

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                        "text": "The Full Monty, ah, it's superb. The Full Monty showed how life really is in certain cities of England.",
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                        "text": "Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.",
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                        "text": "If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no better example of that than 'Monty Python.'",
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                        "text": "The solution of the Monty Hall problem hinges on the concept of information, and more specifically, on the relationship between added information and probability.",
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                        "text": "All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?",
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                        "text": "One night, I pissed into an empty wine bottle so I could continue watching Monty Python, and suddenly thought 'I've never tasted my own piss,' so I drank a little. It looked just like Orvieto Classico and tasted of nearly nothing",
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                        "text": "You write who you are somehow. Even if you try to not to. You can't help but write who you are. I'm just not a very cynical person. I believe in the humanity of people, whether it is just the guys in 'The Full Monty' or Aron Ralston.",
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                        "text": "I knew Richard E. Grant, and I went to him and said \"Would you like to [play Kafka in the film]?\" and he said yeah, and then suddenly I had all these people who were happy to come along. We got a little bit of money from Scottish Screen to pay for it. I got so many favors because I knew people in the business. I was in a remarkably good position. I got so many favors from people. I got the Monty Python technical people.",
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                        "text": "This thought-provoking novel portrays the absurdity of our overbearing government bureaucracy with a story that is entertaining and fast-paced. The Taxman Cometh will become part of our national dialogue about taxes and freedom. And it’s funny as hell. Author Jim Greenfield is a cross between Ayn Rand and Monty Python. If enough people read this hilarious ‘man versus state’ book, the IRS will be put out of business, which is okay with me.",
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                        "text": "I love crazy names. It comes right from Monty Python and Woody Allen - nothing in the world makes me giggle more than a funny name. It became a thing I started doing when I wrote. If a person came into a store and said, \"How much is this apple?\" that person would have an insane name.",
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                        "text": "I was always a fan of the old-style comics. I loved vaudeville. I loved Milton Berle, Dick Shawn, Phyllis Diller, Don Rickles, Charlie Callas, all those guys. Hilarious. I love the Bing Crosby and Bob Hope movies, and Abbott & Costello. My television influences were 'Monty Python's Flying Circus,' 'Benny Hill,' and 'Hee Haw.'",
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                        "text": "I have gone into town to buy a few last things we need for the expedition: Peruvian wasp repellent, toothbrushes, canned peaches, and a fireproof canoe. It will take a while to find the peaches, so don't expect me back until dinnertime. Stephano, Gustav's replacement, will arrive today by taxi. Please make him feel welcome. As you know, it is only two days until the expedition, so please work very hard today. Your giddy uncle, Monty",
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                        "text": "I grew up a huge fan of The Three Stooges and Monty Python, so somebody getting slapped in the face with a fish, or falling out of a chair, or running into a door, or tripping over their own feet and eating it, is all stuff I find really, really funny.",
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                        "text": "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more-no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.",
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                        "text": "The middle way is still driving on the wrong side of the road; it still permits the killing of the fox for pleasure. One cannot kill half a fox. Like Monty Python parrot, a fox torn apart by hounds remains dead, deceased and off its perch for ever. Before the fox has been dispatched - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly - it will have suffered the agonies of the pursuit by animals four times its size and four times its strength. The middle way is a compromise that still seriously compromises the welfare of the fox.",
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                        "text": "You don't get a lot of life milestones in show business. It's really difficult to make things, and a lot of times you don't know you're at the end of something. With Mr. Show, I was only a writer and we knew we were going into the movie, and we thought, \"Okay, like Monty Python, we're going to make five movies.\" And we didn't know it was the end. So it ended up being a bummer and such a terrible ending for Mr. Show. We never got to feel like, \"Wow, we did it! We did something.\"",
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                        "text": "The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware of it, and Monty Python used to be on PBS at weird hours, so I used to try to watch that. And I loved George Carlin on SNL, that was the first stand-up I ever really remember seeing on TV. And then Steve Martin. I guess I was in fifth or sixth grade when Steve Martin showed up, and he was instantly my idol. And Richard Pryor around the same time too, I sort of became aware of him, though I don't remember the first time I saw him.",
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                        "text": "I just play to progressive audiences. You know, if they're watching Discovery Channel, History Channel, that kind of thing, \"Monty Python\" have already laid the groundwork. They're known around the world. People like that kind of surrealist, left-field humor, and that's what I do. And \"Saturday Night Live,\" a lot of American humor. \"The Simpsons,\" above all, the weird, left-field humor, which I love. And sardonic. So that's all I'm doing. I find that audience, and they're in every developed country around the world.",
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                        "text": "Monty Python: A documentary series on everyday life in Great Britain.",
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