--- title: "12 Modern Quotes By Ambrose Bierce" description: "12 Modern quotes by Ambrose Bierce. Plus more from Ambrose Bierce and more Modern sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5af/ambrose-bierce-140_bird_phoenix-n-the-classical-prototype-of-the_1820619.jpg" --- > [Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/phoenix-n-the-classical-prototype-of-the-modern-small-hot-bird/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5af/ambrose-bierce-140_bird_phoenix-n-the-classical-prototype-of-the_1820619.jpg) > [A modern school where football is taught.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/a-modern-school-where-football-is-taught/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/488/ambrose-bierce-140_american-football_a-modern-school-where-football-is-taught_2125891.jpg) > [ZEUS /n./ The chief of Grecian gods, adored by the Romans as Jupiter and by the modern Americans as God, Gold, Mob…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/zeus-n-the-chief-of-grecian-gods-adored-by-the-romans-as-jupiter-and/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8a/ambrose-bierce-140_chiefs_zeus-n-the-chief-of-grecian-gods-adored_3033368.jpg) > [Insurance - an ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/insurance-an-ingenious-modern-game-of-chance-in-which-the-player-is/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/109/ambrose-bierce-140_chance_insurance-an-ingenious-modern-game-of-ch_1923285.jpg) > [The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/the-sum-of-religion-says-pythagoras-is-to-be-like-him-thou-worshipest/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/ambrose-bierce-140_failure_the-sum-of-religion-says-pythagoras-is-t_2788574.jpg) > [PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/pigmy-n-one-of-a-tribe-of-very-small-men-found-by-ancient-travelers/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20a/ambrose-bierce-140_ancient_pigmy-n-one-of-a-tribe-of-very-small-men_1806187.jpg) > [Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/land-a-part-of-the-earth-s-surface-considered-as-property-the-theory/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/ambrose-bierce-140_earth_land-a-part-of-the-earth-s-surface-consi_684224.jpg) > [NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/nectar-n-a-drink-served-at-banquets-of-the-olympian-deities-the/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/386/ambrose-bierce-140_banquets_nectar-n-a-drink-served-at-banquets-of-t_328003.jpg) > [Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/censor-n-an-officer-of-certain-governments-employed-to-supress-the/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/605/ambrose-bierce-140_bears_censor-n-an-officer-of-certain-governmen_2207098.jpg) > [PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/pillory-n-a-mechanical-device-for-inflicting-personal-distinction/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6d/ambrose-bierce-140_blameless_pillory-n-a-mechanical-device-for-inflic_2747597.jpg) > [PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/pyrrhonism-an-ancient-philosophy-named-for-its-inventor-it-consisted/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b47/ambrose-bierce-140_absolutes_pyrrhonism-an-ancient-philosophy-named-f_1205499.jpg) > [ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the \_buffone\_, or clown, and was therefore the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/zany-n-a-popular-character-in-old-italian-plays-who-imitated-with/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/736/ambrose-bierce-140_apes_zany-n-a-popular-character-in-old-italia_2926898.jpg) ## Other authors on Modern ## More by Ambrose Bierce > [OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/obsessed-p-p-vexed-by-an-evil-spirit-like-the-gadarene-swine-and/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/decide-v-i-to-succumb-to-the-preponderance-of-one-set-of-influences/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/immoral-adj-inexpedient-whatever-in-the-long-run-and-with-regard-to/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/review-v-t-to-set-your-wisdom-holding-not-a-doubt-of-it-although-in/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/clock-n-a-machine-of-great-moral-value-to-man-allaying-his-concern/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/rubbish-n-worthless-matter-such-as-the-religions-philosophies/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/there-was-never-a-genius-who-was-not-thought-a-fool-until-he/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/telephone-n-an-invention-of-the-devil-which-abrogates-some-of-the/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/whangdepootenawah-n-in-the-ojibwa-tongue-disaster-an-unexpected/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/jealous-adj-unduly-concerned-about-the-preservation-of-that-which-can/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/ridicule-n-words-designed-to-show-that-the-person-of-whom-they-are/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [Think twice before you speak to a friend in need](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/think-twice-before-you-speak-to-a-friend-in-need/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/hermit-n-a-person-whose-vices-and-follies-are-not-sociable/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/tariff-n-a-scale-of-taxes-on-imports-designed-to-protect-the-domestic/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) > [A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/a-bad-marriage-is-like-an-electrical-thrilling-machine-it-makes-you/) [Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ambrose-bierce/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/modern/ambrose-bierce/#itemlist", "name": "12 Modern Quotes By Ambrose Bierce", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Phoenix, n. 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Had Pythagoras lived in our day he would have seen his mistake. The sum of modern religion is to make him thou worshipest like unto thyself.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/the-sum-of-religion-says-pythagoras-is-to-be-like-him-thou-worshipest/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/ambrose-bierce-140_failure_the-sum-of-religion-says-pythagoras-is-t_2788574.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/ambrose-bierce-140_failure_the-sum-of-religion-says-pythagoras-is-t_2788574.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/ambrose-bierce-140_failure_the-sum-of-religion-says-pythagoras-is-t_2788574.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The sum of religion, says Pythagoras, is to be like him thou worshipest. 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The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians - who are Hogmies.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/pigmy-n-one-of-a-tribe-of-very-small-men-found-by-ancient-travelers/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20a/ambrose-bierce-140_ancient_pigmy-n-one-of-a-tribe-of-very-small-men_1806187.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20a/ambrose-bierce-140_ancient_pigmy-n-one-of-a-tribe-of-very-small-men_1806187.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20a/ambrose-bierce-140_ancient_pigmy-n-one-of-a-tribe-of-very-small-men_1806187.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by…” — Ambrose Bierce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/land-a-part-of-the-earth-s-surface-considered-as-property-the-theory/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/ambrose-bierce-140_earth_land-a-part-of-the-earth-s-surface-consi_684224.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/ambrose-bierce-140_earth_land-a-part-of-the-earth-s-surface-consi_684224.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/ambrose-bierce-140_earth_land-a-part-of-the-earth-s-surface-consi_684224.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to…” — Ambrose Bierce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/nectar-n-a-drink-served-at-banquets-of-the-olympian-deities-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/386/ambrose-bierce-140_banquets_nectar-n-a-drink-served-at-banquets-of-t_328003.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/386/ambrose-bierce-140_banquets_nectar-n-a-drink-served-at-banquets-of-t_328003.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/386/ambrose-bierce-140_banquets_nectar-n-a-drink-served-at-banquets-of-t_328003.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but…” — Ambrose Bierce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector of public morals, but the public morals of modern nations will not bear inspection.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/censor-n-an-officer-of-certain-governments-employed-to-supress-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/605/ambrose-bierce-140_bears_censor-n-an-officer-of-certain-governmen_2207098.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/605/ambrose-bierce-140_bears_censor-n-an-officer-of-certain-governmen_2207098.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/605/ambrose-bierce-140_bears_censor-n-an-officer-of-certain-governmen_2207098.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the…” — Ambrose Bierce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/pillory-n-a-mechanical-device-for-inflicting-personal-distinction/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6d/ambrose-bierce-140_blameless_pillory-n-a-mechanical-device-for-inflic_2747597.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6d/ambrose-bierce-140_blameless_pillory-n-a-mechanical-device-for-inflic_2747597.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6d/ambrose-bierce-140_blameless_pillory-n-a-mechanical-device-for-inflic_2747597.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper…” — Ambrose Bierce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/pyrrhonism-an-ancient-philosophy-named-for-its-inventor-it-consisted/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b47/ambrose-bierce-140_absolutes_pyrrhonism-an-ancient-philosophy-named-f_1205499.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b47/ambrose-bierce-140_absolutes_pyrrhonism-an-ancient-philosophy-named-f_1205499.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b47/ambrose-bierce-140_absolutes_pyrrhonism-an-ancient-philosophy-named-f_1205499.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in…” — Ambrose Bierce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play. The zany was progenitor to the specialist in humor, as we to-day have the unhappiness to know him. In the zany we see an example of creation; in the humorist, of transmission. Another excellent specimen of the modern zany is the curate, who apes the rector, who apes the bishop, who apes the archbishop, who apes the devil.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ambrose Bierce" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ambrose-bierce/zany-n-a-popular-character-in-old-italian-plays-who-imitated-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/736/ambrose-bierce-140_apes_zany-n-a-popular-character-in-old-italia_2926898.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/736/ambrose-bierce-140_apes_zany-n-a-popular-character-in-old-italia_2926898.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/736/ambrose-bierce-140_apes_zany-n-a-popular-character-in-old-italia_2926898.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_…” — Ambrose Bierce", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/modern/ambrose-bierce/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/modern/ambrose-bierce/", "name": "Modern Quotes by Ambrose Bierce", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/modern/ambrose-bierce/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5af/ambrose-bierce-140_bird_phoenix-n-the-classical-prototype-of-the_1820619.jpg" }, "description": "12 Modern quotes by Ambrose Bierce. 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