--- title: "12 Minutes Quotes By Mark Twain" description: "12 Minutes quotes by Mark Twain. Plus more from Mark Twain and more Minutes sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b7/mark-twain-22_minutes_no-sinner-is-ever-saved-after-the-first_2338063.png" --- > [No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/no-sinner-is-ever-saved-after-the-first-twenty-minutes-of-a-sermon/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8b7/mark-twain-22_minutes_no-sinner-is-ever-saved-after-the-first_2338063.png) > [A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-banker-is-a-fellow-who-lends-you-his-umbrella-when-the-sun-is-2/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a9/mark-twain-22_banker_a-banker-is-a-fellow-who-lends-you-his-u_863331.jpg) > [If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-don-t-like-the-weather-in-new-england-now-just-wait-a-few/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/48b/mark-twain-22_england_if-you-don-t-like-the-weather-in-new-eng_1855703.png) > [The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-minute-we-get-reconciled-to-a-person-how-willing-we-are-to-throw/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/386/mark-twain-22_littles_the-minute-we-get-reconciled-to-a-person_586557.png) > [He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/he-who-asks-is-a-fool-for-five-minutes-but-he-who-does-not-ask/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ace/mark-twain-22_business_he-who-asks-is-a-fool-for-five-minutes-b_133796.png) > [Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/our-bible-reveals-to-us-the-character-of-our-god-with-minute-and/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/419/mark-twain-22_angel_our-bible-reveals-to-us-the-character-of_3040599.png) > [Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/do-not-undervalue-the-headache-while-it-is-at-its-sharpest-it-seems-a/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09b/mark-twain-22_customer_do-not-undervalue-the-headache-while-it_1232884.png) > [If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-want-me-to-give-you-a-two-hour-presentation-i-am-ready-today/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a1/mark-twain-22_communication_if-you-want-me-to-give-you-a-two-hour-pr_817804.png) > [Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/humor-is-the-great-thing-the-saving-thing-after-all-the-minute-it/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ff/mark-twain-22_comedy_humor-is-the-great-thing-the-saving-thin_2160820.jpg) > [The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-election-makes-me-think-of-a-story-of-a-man-who-was-dying-he-had/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/mark-twain-22_advantage_the-election-makes-me-think-of-a-story-o_71977.png) > [I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-never-could-do-anything-with-figures-never-had-any-talent-for/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a11/mark-twain-22_accomplished_i-never-could-do-anything-with-figures-n_717744.png) > [Narrative should flow as flows the brook down through the hills and the leafy woodlands...a brook that never goes straight for a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/narrative-should-flow-as-flows-the-brook-down-through-the-hills-and/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1d/mark-twain-22_brooks_narrative-should-flow-as-flows-the-brook_90944.jpg) ## Other authors on Minutes ## More by Mark Twain > [Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/sing-like-no-one-s-listening-love-like-you-ve-never-been-hurt-dance/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-had-made-the-acquiring-of-ignorance-the-study-of-your-life-you/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-creator-sat-upon-the-throne-thinking-behind-him-stretched-the/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-s-easy-to-quit-smoking-i-ve-done-it-hundreds-of-times/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“It is never wrong to do the right thing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-never-wrong-to-do-the-right-thing/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-man-accustomed-to-american-food-and-american-domestic-cookery-would/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [There is nothing training can't cannot do. Nothing is above its reach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-is-nothing-training-can-t-cannot-do-nothing-is-above-its-reach/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-never-write-metropolis-for-seven-cents-because-i-can-get-the-same/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-higher-animals-get-their-teeth-without-pain-or-inconvenience-man/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/as-far-as-i-can-see-italy-for-fifteen-hundred-years-has-turned-all/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/begin-with-the-determination-to-succeed-and-the-work-is-half-done/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/many-public-school-children-seem-to-know-only-two-dates-1492-and-4th/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-we-could-imagine-such-a-man-that-is-a-man-who-could-invent-the-fly/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/you-perceive-now-that-these-things-are-all-impossible-except-in-a/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/lord-save-us-all-from-a-hope-tree-that-has-lost-the-faculty-of/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/minutes/mark-twain/#itemlist", "name": "12 Minutes Quotes By Mark Twain", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": 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While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/do-not-undervalue-the-headache-while-it-is-at-its-sharpest-it-seems-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09b/mark-twain-22_customer_do-not-undervalue-the-headache-while-it_1232884.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09b/mark-twain-22_customer_do-not-undervalue-the-headache-while-it_1232884.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09b/mark-twain-22_customer_do-not-undervalue-the-headache-while-it_1232884.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Do not undervalue the headache. 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If you want only a five-minute speech, it will take me two weeks to prepare.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-want-me-to-give-you-a-two-hour-presentation-i-am-ready-today/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a1/mark-twain-22_communication_if-you-want-me-to-give-you-a-two-hour-pr_817804.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a1/mark-twain-22_communication_if-you-want-me-to-give-you-a-two-hour-pr_817804.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a1/mark-twain-22_communication_if-you-want-me-to-give-you-a-two-hour-pr_817804.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. 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The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/humor-is-the-great-thing-the-saving-thing-after-all-the-minute-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ff/mark-twain-22_comedy_humor-is-the-great-thing-the-saving-thin_2160820.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ff/mark-twain-22_comedy_humor-is-the-great-thing-the-saving-thin_2160820.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ff/mark-twain-22_comedy_humor-is-the-great-thing-the-saving-thin_2160820.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, \"Where is the best place to go to?\" He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-election-makes-me-think-of-a-story-of-a-man-who-was-dying-he-had/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/mark-twain-22_advantage_the-election-makes-me-think-of-a-story-o_71977.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/mark-twain-22_advantage_the-election-makes-me-think-of-a-story-o_71977.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d05/mark-twain-22_advantage_the-election-makes-me-think-of-a-story-o_71977.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged study, and to-day the only mathematics I know is multiplication, and the minute I get away up in that, as soon as I reach nine times seven- [He lapsed into deep thought, trying to figure nine times seven. Mr. McKelway whispered the answer to him.] I've got it now. It's eighty-four. Well, I can get that far all right with a little hesitation. 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