--- title: "12 Me Quotes By J. B. Smoove" description: "12 Me quotes by J. B. Smoove. Plus more from J. B. Smoove and more Me sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba7/j-b-smoove-3940_because_i-would-only-take-a-role-that-i-know-i-m_2401712.jpg" --- > [I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-would-only-take-a-role-that-i-know-i-m-comfortable-in-and-i-can-do/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba7/j-b-smoove-3940_because_i-would-only-take-a-role-that-i-know-i-m_2401712.jpg) > [I am addicted to hockey now. I've seen it on TV, but to be there? I had no idea that white people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-am-addicted-to-hockey-now-i-ve-seen-it-on-tv-but-to-be-there-i-had/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae5/j-b-smoove-3940_addicted_i-am-addicted-to-hockey-now-i-ve-seen-it_3072263.jpg) > [I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-m-afraid-one-thing-i-don-t-like-heights-heights-bug-me-out-i-m-not/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/j-b-smoove-3940_about_i-m-afraid-one-thing-i-don-t-like-height_2040967.jpg) > [For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/for-me-standup-will-always-be-some-part-of-my-life-and-other-things/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c0/j-b-smoove-3940_always_for-me-standup-will-always-be-some-part_1655979.jpg) > [I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. They all call me The Thief.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-steal-scenes-i-steal-opportunities-i-am-the-ultimate-thief-i-got/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/728/j-b-smoove-3940_am_i-steal-scenes-i-steal-opportunities-i-a_1312258.jpg) > [Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/kids-love-me-i-can-bounce-back-and-forth-i-can-discipline-kids-and-i/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/431/j-b-smoove-3940_back_kids-love-me-i-can-bounce-back-and-forth_2685162.jpg) > [My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/my-wife-is-a-vegetarian-when-my-wife-is-with-me-i-eat-vegetarian-when/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/j-b-smoove-3940_being_my-wife-is-a-vegetarian-when-my-wife-is_3027037.jpg) > [I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-have-my-website-the-ruckus-which-is-an-internet-site-similar-to-the/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1f/j-b-smoove-3940_blog_i-have-my-website-the-ruckus-which-is-an_2756068.jpg) > [I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-can-apply-myself-to-the-format-of-snl-i-can-apply-myself-to-the/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0dc/j-b-smoove-3940_apply_i-can-apply-myself-to-the-format-of-snl_2030487.jpg) > [I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-m-street-smart-you-can-t-con-me-but-that-s-just-from-living-in-new/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/139/j-b-smoove-3940_came_i-m-street-smart-you-can-t-con-me-but-th_2613903.jpg) > [I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-ve-had-jokes-stolen-a-thousand-times-but-if-you-can-do-it-better/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5af/j-b-smoove-3940_better_i-ve-had-jokes-stolen-a-thousand-times-b_3196623.jpg) > [You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/you-know-what-i-like-i-like-classic-stuff-i-like-the-andy-griffith/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/j-b-smoove-3940_amazing_you-know-what-i-like-i-like-classic-stuf_86454.jpg) ## Other authors on Me ## More by J. B. Smoove > [You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/you-know-what-i-like-i-like-classic-stuff-i-like-the-andy-griffith/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/you-have-to-fail-man-but-you-cannot-allow-failure-to-stop-you-from/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/if-a-director-brings-a-guy-to-their-movie-who-does-improv-they-ve-got/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [A lot of comedians are selfish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/a-lot-of-comedians-are-selfish/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/improv-relies-just-as-much-on-listening-as-it-does-you-delivering/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/my-life-is-gardening-cleaning-around-the-house-and-power-washing-i/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-believe-even-when-i-m-doing-my-standup-or-my-acting-or-whatever-i-m/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-should-be-european-man-i-m-long-and-lean-i-d-look-good-in-a-trench/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/man-you-can-come-see-me-six-or-seven-times-in-a-row-and-you-ll-never/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-ve-done-everything-selling-door-to-door-fire-extinguishers-in-bars/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-m-nice-with-damn-kids-man-kids-love-me-i-can-bounce-back-and-forth/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/you-want-your-lady-to-be-a-contortionist-what-man-wouldn-t-want-a/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [It's great when a director like Cameron Crowe can take what you do and fit it into what he's doing. If someone's a fan…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/it-s-great-when-a-director-like-cameron-crowe-can-take-what-you-do/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-live-in-new-york-right-now-but-i-m-originally-from-my-daddy-s-nuts/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) > [I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-think-what-i-do-in-my-acting-world-and-what-i-do-in-my-standup/) [J. B. Smoove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-b-smoove/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/me/j-b-smoove/#itemlist", "name": "12 Me Quotes By J. B. Smoove", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I would only take a role that I know I'm comfortable in and I can do. I've turned down plenty of things because I'd feel it's not me, and I wouldn't want to come on someone's project and flip that.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. 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Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-m-afraid-one-thing-i-don-t-like-heights-heights-bug-me-out-i-m-not/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/j-b-smoove-3940_about_i-m-afraid-one-thing-i-don-t-like-height_2040967.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/j-b-smoove-3940_about_i-m-afraid-one-thing-i-don-t-like-height_2040967.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e04/j-b-smoove-3940_about_i-m-afraid-one-thing-i-don-t-like-height_2040967.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm afraid one thing - I don't like heights. Heights bug me out. I'm not cool with heights. I refuse to do a…” — J. B. Smoove", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/for-me-standup-will-always-be-some-part-of-my-life-and-other-things/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c0/j-b-smoove-3940_always_for-me-standup-will-always-be-some-part_1655979.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c0/j-b-smoove-3940_always_for-me-standup-will-always-be-some-part_1655979.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c0/j-b-smoove-3940_always_for-me-standup-will-always-be-some-part_1655979.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“For me, standup will always be some part of my life, and other things will move around and find their place.” — J. B. Smoove", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers, man. 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I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a kid. In my brain, I consider myself the ultimate video game player. The ultimate snack maker.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/kids-love-me-i-can-bounce-back-and-forth-i-can-discipline-kids-and-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/431/j-b-smoove-3940_back_kids-love-me-i-can-bounce-back-and-forth_2685162.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/431/j-b-smoove-3940_back_kids-love-me-i-can-bounce-back-and-forth_2685162.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/431/j-b-smoove-3940_back_kids-love-me-i-can-bounce-back-and-forth_2685162.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids, and I can get into the mind of a kid. In…” — J. B. Smoove", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just being honest.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/my-wife-is-a-vegetarian-when-my-wife-is-with-me-i-eat-vegetarian-when/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/j-b-smoove-3940_being_my-wife-is-a-vegetarian-when-my-wife-is_3027037.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/j-b-smoove-3940_being_my-wife-is-a-vegetarian-when-my-wife-is_3027037.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6be/j-b-smoove-3940_being_my-wife-is-a-vegetarian-when-my-wife-is_3027037.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My wife is a vegetarian. When my wife is with me, I eat vegetarian. When she's not, I eat meat. I'm just…” — J. B. Smoove", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-have-my-website-the-ruckus-which-is-an-internet-site-similar-to-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1f/j-b-smoove-3940_blog_i-have-my-website-the-ruckus-which-is-an_2756068.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1f/j-b-smoove-3940_blog_i-have-my-website-the-ruckus-which-is-an_2756068.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1f/j-b-smoove-3940_blog_i-have-my-website-the-ruckus-which-is-an_2756068.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people…” — J. B. Smoove", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same time, I'm still being J. B. Smoove. I'm not changing up my style, I'm not changing up how I think, what's funny to me, my delivery, the way I carry myself.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-can-apply-myself-to-the-format-of-snl-i-can-apply-myself-to-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0dc/j-b-smoove-3940_apply_i-can-apply-myself-to-the-format-of-snl_2030487.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0dc/j-b-smoove-3940_apply_i-can-apply-myself-to-the-format-of-snl_2030487.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0dc/j-b-smoove-3940_apply_i-can-apply-myself-to-the-format-of-snl_2030487.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I can apply myself to the format of 'SNL,' I can apply myself to the format of 'Conan,' but at the same…” — J. B. Smoove", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from Mississippi somewhere, Ohio somewhere, to New York City for the first time, he don't have the street smarts. You can take him.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/i-m-street-smart-you-can-t-con-me-but-that-s-just-from-living-in-new/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/139/j-b-smoove-3940_came_i-m-street-smart-you-can-t-con-me-but-th_2613903.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/139/j-b-smoove-3940_came_i-m-street-smart-you-can-t-con-me-but-th_2613903.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/139/j-b-smoove-3940_came_i-m-street-smart-you-can-t-con-me-but-th_2613903.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm street smart. You can't con me. But that's just from living in New York. Now if a guy came from…” — J. B. Smoove", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I've had jokes stolen a thousand times. But if you can do it better than me, you can have it. I've had jokes stolen from me in the club when I'm next on stage. And my brain will start to turn, and the gears will start turning, and I'll go onstage and create a whole new bit.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. 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I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "J. B. Smoove" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-b-smoove/you-know-what-i-like-i-like-classic-stuff-i-like-the-andy-griffith/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/j-b-smoove-3940_amazing_you-know-what-i-like-i-like-classic-stuf_86454.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/j-b-smoove-3940_amazing_you-know-what-i-like-i-like-classic-stuf_86454.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c78/j-b-smoove-3940_amazing_you-know-what-i-like-i-like-classic-stuf_86454.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was…” — J. B. 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