--- title: "1 Matter Yes Quotes By Susan J. Elliott" description: "1 Matter Yes quotes by Susan J. Elliott. Plus more from Susan J. Elliott and more Matter Yes sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f77/susan-j-elliott-29626_asking-questions_when-you-are-asking-why-when-how-questio_1246413.jpg" --- > [“When you are asking why, when, how questions or trying to figure out how he or she could do what was done or how you can change into the person he or she will love, tell yourself, “It doesn’t matter,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/when-you-are-asking-why-when-how-questions-or-trying-to-figure-out/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f77/susan-j-elliott-29626_asking-questions_when-you-are-asking-why-when-how-questio_1246413.jpg) ## More by Susan J. Elliott > [“Goal setting works best when you have long-term goals and short-term goals in different areas of your life. Of course, you’re not going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/goal-setting-works-best-when-you-have-long-term-goals-and-short-term/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“You both have been through a trying time, and you must face that a break will do each of you a world of good.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/you-both-have-been-through-a-trying-time-and-you-must-face-that-a/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“After a breakup, you may also feel physically and mentally incapacitated in some way. You have trouble sleeping, or you sleep too much. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/after-a-breakup-you-may-also-feel-physically-and-mentally/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“My therapist would later explain to me that “water seeks its own level” and that your partner’s flaws and issues usually go hand in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/my-therapist-would-later-explain-to-me-that-water-seeks-its-own-level/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“When you are asking why, when, how questions or trying to figure out how he or she could do what was done or how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/when-you-are-asking-why-when-how-questions-or-trying-to-figure-out/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Several of my clients, students, and readers have come to realize that they spent all their adult lives in relationships in which they were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/several-of-my-clients-students-and-readers-have-come-to-realize-that/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“The pain of heartache often comes in unpredictable episodes of intense pain that come and go. These episodes are called grief “spasms”—you feel overwhelmed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/the-pain-of-heartache-often-comes-in-unpredictable-episodes-of/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“At first you may feel shock or disbelief that a loss has occurred or an inability to recognize that it was really a loss.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/at-first-you-may-feel-shock-or-disbelief-that-a-loss-has-occurred-or/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“The first thing to know is that grief is not a straight line. It doesn’t happen in “stages,” as is commonly thought; it happens…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/the-first-thing-to-know-is-that-grief-is-not-a-straight-line-it-doesn/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Stop worrying about what is wrong with you. While there might be things about you that need improvement, that doesn’t mean that you are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/stop-worrying-about-what-is-wrong-with-you-while-there-might-be/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Learning that “water seeks its own level,” I was able to understand what issues needed attention by observing the people I was attracting and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/learning-that-water-seeks-its-own-level-i-was-able-to-understand-what/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Don’t ask for justifications for present or past behavior, or say how much you’ve been hurt. Yes, there are things you want this person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/don-t-ask-for-justifications-for-present-or-past-behavior-or-say-how/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“Time does not heal all wounds. If it did, there would be no unresolved grief and no hurt from long ago that still upsets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/time-does-not-heal-all-wounds-if-it-did-there-would-be-no-unresolved/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“After a breakup, anger is an appropriate reaction. When something has been taken away, people feel angry. While feeling the anger is okay, acting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/after-a-breakup-anger-is-an-appropriate-reaction-when-something-has/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) > [“If you’re the person who is being asked to be friends, say no. If your ex is saying that he or she simply can’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-elliott/if-you-re-the-person-who-is-being-asked-to-be-friends-say-no-if-your/) [Susan J. Elliott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-elliott/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/matter-yes/susan-j-elliott/#itemlist", "name": "1 Matter Yes Quotes By Susan J. Elliott", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When you are asking why, when, how questions or trying to figure out how he or she could do what was done or how you can change into the person he or she will love, tell yourself, “It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.” Yes, three times is the charm with this particular mantra. Whenever you are ruminating and obsessing about your ex and asking those questions, say to yourself, “Stop! It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter.” Because you know what? It doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is what you are doing now and that is where your focus needs to be. 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