---
title: "4 Masturbation Quotes By Jarod Kintz"
description: "4 Masturbation quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Masturbation sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f92/jarod-kintz-2_psychology_masturbation-like-writing-is-best-when-y_864621.jpg"
---

> [“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your hand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/masturbation-like-writing-is-best-when-your-mind-is-working-faster/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f92/jarod-kintz-2_psychology_masturbation-like-writing-is-best-when-y_864621.jpg)

> [“If my penis were big enough to be mistaken for a leg, I am not sure I'd want the world to know.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-my-penis-were-big-enough-to-be-mistaken-for-a-leg-i-am-not-sure-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b45/jarod-kintz-2_fitness_if-my-penis-were-big-enough-to-be-mistak_974951.jpg)

> [“It’s still masturbation if your clone gives you a hand job. It’s also a lot like being a member of Congress.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/it-s-still-masturbation-if-your-clone-gives-you-a-hand-job-it-s-also/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/jarod-kintz-2_quote_it-s-still-masturbation-if-your-clone-gi_2046885.jpg)

> [“My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the air masturbation gesture.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-wife-keeps-me-busy-while-she-talks-i-m-not-listening-but-rather/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/082/jarod-kintz-2_marriage_my-wife-keeps-me-busy-while-she-talks-i_2186904.jpg)

## Other authors on Masturbation

- [Mokokoma Mokhonoana 9 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masturbation/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b025/author-woody-allen-96336.jpg) Woody Allen 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masturbation/woody-allen/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-chuck-palahniuk-24118.jpg) Chuck Palahniuk 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masturbation/chuck-palahniuk/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-betty-dodson-17590.jpg) Betty Dodson 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masturbation/betty-dodson/)

## More by Jarod Kintz

> [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

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