---
title: "8 Married Quotes By Jeff Foxworthy"
description: "8 Married quotes by Jeff Foxworthy. Plus more from Jeff Foxworthy and more Married sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/603/jeff-foxworthy-939_buying_you-don-t-get-married-to-get-sex-getting_199493.jpg"
---

> [You don't get married to get sex. Getting married to get sex is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-don-t-get-married-to-get-sex-getting-married-to-get-sex-is-like/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/603/jeff-foxworthy-939_buying_you-don-t-get-married-to-get-sex-getting_199493.jpg)

> [If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/if-you-re-a-man-and-you-ve-ever-been-antique-shopping-during-a-big/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e06/jeff-foxworthy-939_antiques_if-you-re-a-man-and-you-ve-ever-been-ant_255864.jpg)

> [Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/now-it-s-true-i-married-my-wife-for-her-looks-but-not-the-ones-she-s/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfa/jeff-foxworthy-939_looks_now-it-s-true-i-married-my-wife-for-her_980795.jpg)

> [ \[about sex and being married\] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/about-sex-and-being-married-it-s-like-being-the-national-guard-we-may/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/137/jeff-foxworthy-939_action_about-sex-and-being-married-it-s-like-be_1451903.jpg)

> [You might be a redneck if you can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-can-t-get-married-to-your-sweetheart/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddb/jeff-foxworthy-939_ifs_you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-can-t-get_1729357.jpg)

> [A lot of people up North, they think everybody from the South is married to their sister and has seen a UFO.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/a-lot-of-people-up-north-they-think-everybody-from-the-south-is/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b31/jeff-foxworthy-939_balloons_a-lot-of-people-up-north-they-think-ever_1878508.jpg)

> [Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/getting-married-for-sex-is-like-buying-a-747-for-the-free-peanuts/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/33c/jeff-foxworthy-939_funny_getting-married-for-sex-is-like-buying-a_1913091.jpg)

> [If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/if-you-can-t-remember-the-last-time-you-had-sex-with-a-woman-you-re/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/002/jeff-foxworthy-939_gay_if-you-can-t-remember-the-last-time-you_3129134.jpg)

## Other authors on Married

## More by Jeff Foxworthy

> [If your thighs look like the hood of a white Toyota minivan after a hailstorm, you aren't juicy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/if-your-thighs-look-like-the-hood-of-a-white-toyota-minivan-after-a/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/i-had-to-perform-at-the-white-house-for-the-president-that-s-always/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if you have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-have-a-picture-of-johnny-cash-willie/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if... your high school basketball game got rained out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-high-school-basketball-game-got-rained/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/we-sing-about-god-because-we-believe-in-him-we-are-not-trying-to/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if you watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-you-watch-little-house-on-the-prairie-for/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [Hell, when I was in high school, a "drive-by shooting" meant somebody had their rear end hanging out a car window!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/hell-when-i-was-in-high-school-a-drive-by-shooting-meant-somebody-had/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [We probably stagnate our children's emotional growth by not letting them have some separation from us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/we-probably-stagnate-our-children-s-emotional-growth-by-not-letting/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-taking-your-wife-on-a-cruise-means-circling/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [I've gotten to the point I won't even watch the 11 o'clock news. You just walk away from it thinking how bad everything is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/i-ve-gotten-to-the-point-i-won-t-even-watch-the-11-o-clock-news-you/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [Look at where Jesus went to pick people. He didn't go to the colleges; he got guys off the fishing docks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/look-at-where-jesus-went-to-pick-people-he-didn-t-go-to-the-colleges/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/what-i-hated-was-doing-what-somebody-in-la-thought-jeff-foxworthy/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [Women in bed are like Diesel engines. What I mean by that is, it may take them a while to get going, but when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/women-in-bed-are-like-diesel-engines-what-i-mean-by-that-is-it-may/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-getting-a-package-from-your-post-office/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

> [You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-foxworthy/you-might-be-a-redneck-if-your-wife-wants-to-stop-at-the-gas-station/)

[Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-foxworthy/)

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