---
title: "9 Married-with-zombies Quotes by 1 author"
description: "Browse 9 Married-with-zombies quotes by 1 author. Discover the best Married-with-zombies sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/jesse-petersen-25704_kelly_fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat_2433681.jpg"
---

> [“Fuck me, David! Dr. Kelly just tried to eat us!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat-us/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/jesse-petersen-25704_kelly_fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat_2433681.jpg)

> [“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/build-mutual-friendships-just-be-ready-to-end-them-when-your-friends/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c59/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_build-mutual-friendships-just-be-ready-t_1483035.jpg)

> [“Make requests, not demands. "Please" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/make-requests-not-demands-please-kill-that-zombie-honey-i-m-out-of/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/801/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_make-requests-not-demands-please-kill-th_1826653.jpg)

> [“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/support-your-partner-in-their-interests-you-never-know-when-batting/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a5/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_support-your-partner-in-their-interests_966838.jpg)

> [“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/because-i-m-not-really-certain-she-d-make-the-best-travel-partner/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed9/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_because-i-m-not-really-certain-she-d-mak_1981119.jpg)

> [“I should have known that having "end of the world" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/i-should-have-known-that-having-end-of-the-world-sex-wouldn-t-solve/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_i-should-have-known-that-having-end-of-t_397191.jpg)

> [“I'd always thought the skinny little twerp was anorexic. But apparently what she needed wasn't a sandwich, as I'd often muttered as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/i-d-always-thought-the-skinny-little-twerp-was-anorexic-but/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38e/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_i-d-always-thought-the-skinny-little-twe_1442804.jpg)

> [“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/balance-the-world-in-your-relationship-no-one-person-should-be/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/038/jesse-petersen-25704_killing_balance-the-world-in-your-relationship-n_717941.jpg)

> [“Put the small stuff into perspective. It's better to be wrong and alive than right but eating brains.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/put-the-small-stuff-into-perspective-it-s-better-to-be-wrong-and/)

[Jesse Petersen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-petersen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d88/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_put-the-small-stuff-into-perspective-it_514737.jpg)

## Top authors on Married-with-zombies

- [Jesse Petersen 9 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/jesse-petersen/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/#itemlist",
            "name": "Married-with-zombies Quotes",
            "numberOfItems": 9,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Fuck me, David! Dr. Kelly just tried to eat us!”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat-us/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/jesse-petersen-25704_kelly_fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat_2433681.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/jesse-petersen-25704_kelly_fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat_2433681.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/jesse-petersen-25704_kelly_fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat_2433681.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Fuck me, David! Dr. Kelly just tried to eat us!” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/build-mutual-friendships-just-be-ready-to-end-them-when-your-friends/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c59/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_build-mutual-friendships-just-be-ready-t_1483035.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c59/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_build-mutual-friendships-just-be-ready-t_1483035.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c59/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_build-mutual-friendships-just-be-ready-t_1483035.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Build mutual friendships. Just be ready to end them when your friends start trying to eat you.” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Make requests, not demands. \"Please\" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/make-requests-not-demands-please-kill-that-zombie-honey-i-m-out-of/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/801/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_make-requests-not-demands-please-kill-th_1826653.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/801/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_make-requests-not-demands-please-kill-th_1826653.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/801/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_make-requests-not-demands-please-kill-th_1826653.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Make requests, not demands. \"Please\" kill that zombie, honey, I'm out of bullets.” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even a poker night might come in handy during a zombie infestation.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/support-your-partner-in-their-interests-you-never-know-when-batting/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a5/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_support-your-partner-in-their-interests_966838.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a5/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_support-your-partner-in-their-interests_966838.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a5/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_support-your-partner-in-their-interests_966838.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Support your partner in their interests. You never know when batting practice, kung fu movie moves, or even…” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed. She gets confused by Scrabble.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/because-i-m-not-really-certain-she-d-make-the-best-travel-partner/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed9/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_because-i-m-not-really-certain-she-d-mak_1981119.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed9/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_because-i-m-not-really-certain-she-d-mak_1981119.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed9/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_because-i-m-not-really-certain-she-d-mak_1981119.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Because I'm not really certain she'd make the best travel partner through a zombie-infested city, he hissed…” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 6,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I should have known that having \"end of the world\" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty great and I highly recommend it.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/i-should-have-known-that-having-end-of-the-world-sex-wouldn-t-solve/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_i-should-have-known-that-having-end-of-t_397191.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_i-should-have-known-that-having-end-of-t_397191.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/jesse-petersen-25704_comedy_i-should-have-known-that-having-end-of-t_397191.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I should have known that having \"end of the world\" sex wouldn't solve our problems. Though, it was pretty…” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 7,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I'd always thought the skinny little twerp was anorexic. But apparently what she needed wasn't a sandwich, as I'd often muttered as we left her office, but a manwich.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/i-d-always-thought-the-skinny-little-twerp-was-anorexic-but/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38e/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_i-d-always-thought-the-skinny-little-twe_1442804.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38e/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_i-d-always-thought-the-skinny-little-twe_1442804.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38e/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_i-d-always-thought-the-skinny-little-twe_1442804.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“I'd always thought the skinny little twerp was anorexic. But apparently what she needed wasn't a sandwich…” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 8,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/balance-the-world-in-your-relationship-no-one-person-should-be/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/038/jesse-petersen-25704_killing_balance-the-world-in-your-relationship-n_717941.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/038/jesse-petersen-25704_killing_balance-the-world-in-your-relationship-n_717941.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/038/jesse-petersen-25704_killing_balance-the-world-in-your-relationship-n_717941.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Balance the world in your relationship. No one person should be responsible for killing ALL the Zombies.” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 9,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Put the small stuff into perspective. It's better to be wrong and alive than right but eating brains.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jesse Petersen"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-petersen/put-the-small-stuff-into-perspective-it-s-better-to-be-wrong-and/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d88/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_put-the-small-stuff-into-perspective-it_514737.jpg",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d88/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_put-the-small-stuff-into-perspective-it_514737.jpg",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d88/jesse-petersen-25704_married-with-zombies_put-the-small-stuff-into-perspective-it_514737.jpg",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“Put the small stuff into perspective. It's better to be wrong and alive than right but eating brains.” — Jesse Petersen",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/",
            "name": "Married-with-zombies Quotes",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/jesse-petersen-25704_kelly_fuck-me-david-dr-kelly-just-tried-to-eat_2433681.jpg"
            },
            "description": "Browse 9 Married-with-zombies quotes by 1 author. Discover the best Married-with-zombies sayings and thoughts.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Married With Zombies Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-with-zombies/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
