---
title: "1 Married Guy Quotes By Garrison Keillor"
description: "1 Married Guy quotes by Garrison Keillor. Plus more from Garrison Keillor and more Married Guy sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47a/garrison-keillor-1037_airy_a-married-guy-is-responsible-for-everyth_1994993.jpg"
---

> [A married guy is responsible for everything, no matter what. Women, thanks to their having been oppressed all these years, are blameless, free as birds, and all the dirt they do is the result of premenstrual syndrome or postmenstrual stress…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/a-married-guy-is-responsible-for-everything-no-matter-what-women/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47a/garrison-keillor-1037_airy_a-married-guy-is-responsible-for-everyth_1994993.jpg)

## More by Garrison Keillor

> [God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/god-writes-a-lot-of-comedy-the-trouble-is-he-s-stuck-with-so-many-bad/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/the-socially-redeeming-aspect-of-golf-lies-in-the-vast-number-of/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/god-plays-a-lot-of-jokes-on-us-to-get-our-attention/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/ha-easy-for-nuns-to-talk-about-giving-up-things-that-s-what-they-do/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/this-is-the-big-reason-most-humorists-fail-drunks-don-t-read-books/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/before-the-world-was-made-when-it-was-only-darkness-and-mist-and/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [On investments, 1998: Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/on-investments-1998-where-i-m-from-we-don-t-trust-paper-wealth-is/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [“The rich can afford to be progressive. Poor people have reason to be afraid of the future.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/the-rich-can-afford-to-be-progressive-poor-people-have-reason-to-be/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/english-is-the-perfect-language-for-preachers-because-it-allows-you/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [“If you can't read a simple goddam sign and follow one simple goddam instruction then get your fat butt the hell out of here.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/if-you-can-t-read-a-simple-goddam-sign-and-follow-one-simple-goddam/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [“The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/the-gospel-is-meant-to-comfort-the-afflicted-and-afflict-the/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [I don't want them to be told to remember me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/i-don-t-want-them-to-be-told-to-remember-me/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [Childhood is the small town everyone came from.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/childhood-is-the-small-town-everyone-came-from/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/i-have-taken-so-many-wrong-turns-and-been-so-careless-with-precious/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

> [Where I'm from we don't trust paper. Wealth is what's here on the premises. If I open a cupboard and see, say, thirty cans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garrison-keillor/where-i-m-from-we-don-t-trust-paper-wealth-is-what-s-here-on-the/)

[Garrison Keillor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garrison-keillor/)

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