---
title: "157 Marlboro Man Quotes by 9 authors"
description: "Browse 157 Marlboro Man quotes by 9 authors. Discover the best Marlboro Man sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b68/ree-drummond-818_breath_i-was-half-asleep-tipsy-on-his-musky-fum_1711974.png"
---

> [“I was half asleep--tipsy on his musky fumes--when I felt Marlboro Man gently nuzzle his face toward my ear. Taking a deep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-was-half-asleep-tipsy-on-his-musky-fumes-when-i-felt-marlboro-man/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b68/ree-drummond-818_breath_i-was-half-asleep-tipsy-on-his-musky-fum_1711974.png)

> [“You’re mine,” Marlboro Man said, his strong hand caressing my knee in such a way that I considered asking the cab to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/you-re-mine-marlboro-man-said-his-strong-hand-caressing-my-knee-in/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7b/ree-drummond-818_caressing_you-re-mine-marlboro-man-said-his-strong_1479554.png)

> [“It wasn’t about me anymore. I had a child. A husband who needed me to be there for him in the midst…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/it-wasn-t-about-me-anymore-i-had-a-child-a-husband-who-needed-me-to-2/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eef/ree-drummond-818_children_it-wasn-t-about-me-anymore-i-had-a-child_1117988.png)

> [“Before I knew it, Marlboro Man’s right arm was wrapped around my waist while his other hand held the reins of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/before-i-knew-it-marlboro-man-s-right-arm-was-wrapped-around-my-waist/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/322/ree-drummond-818_good-morning_before-i-knew-it-marlboro-man-s-right-ar_2117696.jpg)

> [“Remember how you were mad for motorcross? You’d spend all weekend the track, or fixing up bikes. You loved it so much.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clare-mackintosh/remember-how-you-were-mad-for-motorcross-you-d-spend-all-weekend-the/)

[Clare Mackintosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clare-mackintosh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b95/clare-mackintosh-53308_quote_remember-how-you-were-mad-for-motorcross_2153035.jpg)

> [“The fire on the truck was out by now, and Marlboro Man rushed over, grabbed my shoulders, and looked me over--trying, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/the-fire-on-the-truck-was-out-by-now-and-marlboro-man-rushed-over/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c11/ree-drummond-818_mommy_the-fire-on-the-truck-was-out-by-now-and_2435248.png)

> [“Have you talked about how many children you’d like to have?” “Yes, sir,” Marlboro Man said. “And?” Father Johnson prodded. “I’d like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/have-you-talked-about-how-many-children-you-d-like-to-have-yes-sir/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c95/ree-drummond-818_children_have-you-talked-about-how-many-children_1364434.png)

> [“Hey…you okay?” Marlboro Man repeated. My heart fluttered in horror. I wanted to jump out of the bathroom window, scale down the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/hey-you-okay-marlboro-man-repeated-my-heart-fluttered-in-horror-i-3/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/251/ree-drummond-818_marlboro-man_hey-you-okay-marlboro-man-repeated-my-he_2440888.png)

> [“By the time we returned to the hotel room, we were laughing again. Marlboro Man was teasing me about how many clothes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/by-the-time-we-returned-to-the-hotel-room-we-were-laughing-again/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a70/ree-drummond-818_hotel-room_by-the-time-we-returned-to-the-hotel-roo_883375.jpg)

> [“ Hey --if you guys are goin’ to the movie, c-c-c-can you drive me to the mall?” he yelled. “Sure, Mike,” Marlboro…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/hey-if-you-guys-are-goin-to-the-movie-c-c-c-can-you-drive-me-to-the/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e1/ree-drummond-818_english-language_hey-if-you-guys-are-goin-to-the-movie-c_1147680.png)

> [“Having crossed the international date line, it was Tuesday morning when Marlboro Man and I finally checked into the Park Hyatt, nestled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/having-crossed-the-international-date-line-it-was-tuesday-morning/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1a/ree-drummond-818_tuesday-morning_having-crossed-the-international-date-li_657454.jpg)

> [“I’d been reborn since Marlboro Man had entered my life; his wild abandon and unabashed passion had freed me from the shackles…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-d-been-reborn-since-marlboro-man-had-entered-my-life-his-wild/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b27/ree-drummond-818_life_i-d-been-reborn-since-marlboro-man-had-e_1689988.png)

> [“I’d always liked his house; it was rustic and unadorned, yet beautiful in its simplicity. I could live there. Or I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-d-always-liked-his-house-it-was-rustic-and-unadorned-yet-beautiful/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/ree-drummond-818_sexual-revolution_i-d-always-liked-his-house-it-was-rustic_2757275.png)

> [“Late that evening, I begged Marlboro Man to go back to the ranch to sleep. We’d had visits from my dad, our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/late-that-evening-i-begged-marlboro-man-to-go-back-to-the-ranch-to/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f2/ree-drummond-818_best-friend_late-that-evening-i-begged-marlboro-man_3163172.jpg)

> [“Then I saw the figure standing outside my car door: it was Marlboro Man, who’d come outside to greet me. His jeans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/then-i-saw-the-figure-standing-outside-my-car-door-it-was-marlboro-2/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/398/ree-drummond-818_smiled_then-i-saw-the-figure-standing-outside-m_2003152.jpg)

> [“That night, Marlboro Man and I had a date. It was the Thursday night before our wedding, and the rehearsal dinner was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/that-night-marlboro-man-and-i-had-a-date-it-was-the-thursday-night/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8d/ree-drummond-818_day-night_that-night-marlboro-man-and-i-had-a-date_409192.png)

> [“A little while later, I found myself waking, groggy and nauseated, from a deep sleep in a regular hospital room. Disoriented, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/a-little-while-later-i-found-myself-waking-groggy-and-nauseated-from/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57f/ree-drummond-818_baby_a-little-while-later-i-found-myself-waki_3141299.jpg)

> [“Marlboro Man returned home late that afternoon and came into the bedroom, eating a chocolate chip cookie along the way. The baby…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/marlboro-man-returned-home-late-that-afternoon-and-came-into-the/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b2/ree-drummond-818_baby_marlboro-man-returned-home-late-that-aft_2622722.jpg)

> [“Filip was from San Jose, but his painfully good looks excused that. He was tall, six-foot-something-or-other, intensely blue eyes, chiseled features, massive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clint-catalyst/filip-was-from-san-jose-but-his-painfully-good-looks-excused-that-he/)

[Clint Catalyst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clint-catalyst/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/clint-catalyst-46186_affair_filip-was-from-san-jose-but-his-painfull_2351119.jpg)

> [“It didn’t matter how stupid I was--how dumb, or awkward, or sweaty. It became clearer to me than ever, sitting on that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/it-didn-t-matter-how-stupid-i-was-how-dumb-or-awkward-or-sweaty-it/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e85/ree-drummond-818_first-time_it-didn-t-matter-how-stupid-i-was-how-du_647372.png)

> [“I’d better go,” Marlboro Man said, leaning forward and kissing my cheek. I still grasped the diamond ring in my warm, sweaty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-d-better-go-marlboro-man-said-leaning-forward-and-kissing-my-cheek/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a30/ree-drummond-818_first-date_i-d-better-go-marlboro-man-said-leaning_2768496.png)

> [“As Marlboro Man slid open the huge barn doors and flipped on the enormous lights mounted to the beams, my heart began…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/as-marlboro-man-slid-open-the-huge-barn-doors-and-flipped-on-the/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13c/ree-drummond-818_first-anniversary_as-marlboro-man-slid-open-the-huge-barn_2633528.png)

> [“When the attendant at Britz Rentals of Australia whipped around in our prepaid-in-full honeymoon car, my eyes grew wide and I knew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/when-the-attendant-at-britz-rentals-of-australia-whipped-around-in/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34a/ree-drummond-818_royal-blue_when-the-attendant-at-britz-rentals-of-a_2927523.jpg)

> [“We talked into the night, the room blurring around us as it had done at the dance in West Side Story when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/we-talked-into-the-night-the-room-blurring-around-us-as-it-had-done/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41e/ree-drummond-818_dark-blue_we-talked-into-the-night-the-room-blurri_2330578.jpg)

> [“Then I saw the figure standing outside my car door: it was Marlboro Man, who’d come outside to greet me. His jeans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/then-i-saw-the-figure-standing-outside-my-car-door-it-was-marlboro/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0dd/ree-drummond-818_laughed_then-i-saw-the-figure-standing-outside-m_1519584.jpg)

> [“What would you do if Ree became gravely ill?” Father Johnson asked Marlboro Man. “Well, sir,” Marlboro Man replied, “I’d take care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/what-would-you-do-if-ree-became-gravely-ill-father-johnson-asked/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/444/ree-drummond-818_parenting_what-would-you-do-if-ree-became-gravely_3076221.png)

> [“Of course, no china--however intricate and inviting--was as seductive as my fiancé, my future husband, who continued to eat me alive with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/of-course-no-china-however-intricate-and-inviting-was-as-seductive-as/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/413/ree-drummond-818_big-city_of-course-no-china-however-intricate-and_1885429.jpg)

> [“I brushed my teeth like a crazed lunatic as I examined myself in the mirror. Why couldn’t I look the women in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-brushed-my-teeth-like-a-crazed-lunatic-as-i-examined-myself-in-the/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e0/ree-drummond-818_black-hole_i-brushed-my-teeth-like-a-crazed-lunatic_2410171.jpg)

> [“I hadn’t noticed, through all my inner torture and turmoil, that Marlboro Man and the horses had been walking closer to me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-hadn-t-noticed-through-all-my-inner-torture-and-turmoil-that/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/846/ree-drummond-818_dear-life_i-hadn-t-noticed-through-all-my-inner-to_577671.jpg)

> [“So,” Marlboro Man began over dinner one night. “How many kids do you want to have?” I almost choked on my medium-rare…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/so-marlboro-man-began-over-dinner-one-night-how-many-kids-do-you-want/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e2/ree-drummond-818_children_so-marlboro-man-began-over-dinner-one-ni_2281786.png)

> [“When we arrived at the wedding at Marlboro Man’s grandparents’ house, I gasped. People were absolutely everywhere: scurrying and mingling and sipping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/when-we-arrived-at-the-wedding-at-marlboro-man-s-grandparents-house-i/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ef/ree-drummond-818_first-person_when-we-arrived-at-the-wedding-at-marlbo_40250.png)

> [“I looked around and realized we were headed down a different road than Marlboro Man would normally take. “I have to give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-looked-around-and-realized-we-were-headed-down-a-different-road/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63e/ree-drummond-818_dark-room_i-looked-around-and-realized-we-were-hea_2610431.jpg)

> [“Marlboro Man opened the passenger door of the semi and allowed me to climb out in front of him, while Tim exited…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/marlboro-man-opened-the-passenger-door-of-the-semi-and-allowed-me-to/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6eb/ree-drummond-818_black-boots_marlboro-man-opened-the-passenger-door-o_1599135.jpg)

> [“I’d been reflecting on this--the drastic turn my life and my outlook on love had taken--more and more on the evenings Marlboro…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-d-been-reflecting-on-this-the-drastic-turn-my-life-and-my-outlook-2/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/430/ree-drummond-818_city-lights_i-d-been-reflecting-on-this-the-drastic_2634035.jpg)

> [“Well, uh,” I said playfully. “Thanks for taking my brother to the mall.” Mike fired up the diesel engine. “No problem,” Marlboro…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/well-uh-i-said-playfully-thanks-for-taking-my-brother-to-the-mall/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eac/ree-drummond-818_gratitude_well-uh-i-said-playfully-thanks-for-taki_3126798.png)

> [“How much do you know about each other?” was Father Johnson’s final question of the day. Marlboro Man and I looked at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/how-much-do-you-know-about-each-other-was-father-johnson-s-final-2/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ea/ree-drummond-818_knew_how-much-do-you-know-about-each-other-wa_2654978.jpg)

> [“When we arrived at the wedding at Marlboro Man’s grandparents’ house, I gasped. People were absolutely everywhere: scurrying and mingling and sipping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/when-we-arrived-at-the-wedding-at-marlboro-man-s-grandparents-house-i-2/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c04/ree-drummond-818_first-person_when-we-arrived-at-the-wedding-at-marlbo_1129117.jpg)

> [“Once out of the church doors, Marlboro Man swatted me. “Ow!” I shrieked, feeling stung. “What was that for?” “Just your Tuesday…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/once-out-of-the-church-doors-marlboro-man-swatted-me-ow-i-shrieked/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fe/ree-drummond-818_marlboro-man_once-out-of-the-church-doors-marlboro-ma_2053555.png)

> [“I have to give you your wedding present,” Marlboro Man said before I could ask where we were going. “I can’t wait…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-have-to-give-you-your-wedding-present-marlboro-man-said-before-i/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e4/ree-drummond-818_marriage_i-have-to-give-you-your-wedding-present_1632754.png)

> [“I walked proudly out of the church, the new wife of Marlboro Man. When we exited the same doors through which my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ree-drummond/i-walked-proudly-out-of-the-church-the-new-wife-of-marlboro-man-when/)

[Ree Drummond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ree-drummond/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e51/ree-drummond-818_marriage_i-walked-proudly-out-of-the-church-the-n_25373.jpg)

## Top authors on Marlboro Man

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                        "text": "“I was half asleep--tipsy on his musky fumes--when I felt Marlboro Man gently nuzzle his face toward my ear. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled, his chest falling--the words I love you escaping from his mouth so quietly, I wasn’t sure whether I’d dreamed it.”",
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                        "text": "“You’re mine,” Marlboro Man said, his strong hand caressing my knee in such a way that I considered asking the cab to return to the hotel.”",
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                        "text": "“It wasn’t about me anymore. I had a child. A husband who needed me to be there for him in the midst of what was turning out to be a terrible time to be making a living in agriculture. I didn’t have time to get mired in the angst of my own circumstances anymore. I didn’t have time for the past. My family--my new family--was all that mattered to me. My child. And always and forever, Marlboro Man.”",
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                        "text": "“Before I knew it, Marlboro Man’s right arm was wrapped around my waist while his other hand held the reins of the two horses. In another instant, he pulled me toward him in a tight grip and leaned in for a sweet, tender kiss--a kiss he seemed to savor even after our lips parted. “Good morning,” he said sweetly, grinning that magical grin.”",
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                        "text": "“Remember how you were mad for motorcross? You’d spend all weekend the track, or fixing up bikes. You loved it so much. Didn’t I have something like that; something I loved more than anything else?” Matt comes closer, the smell of cigarettes and extra-string mints reassuringly familiar. “Me,” he says quietly. “You loved me.”",
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                        "text": "“The fire on the truck was out by now, and Marlboro Man rushed over, grabbed my shoulders, and looked me over--trying, in all the confusion, to make sure I was in one piece. And I was. Physically, I was perfectly fine. My nervous system, on the other hand, was a shambles. “ You okay? ” he shouted over the crackling sounds of the fire. All I could do was nod and bite my lip to keep from losing it. Can I go home now? was the only thing going through my mind. That, and I want my mommy. ”",
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                        "text": "“Have you talked about how many children you’d like to have?” “Yes, sir,” Marlboro Man said. “And?” Father Johnson prodded. “I’d like to have six or so,” Marlboro Man answered, a virile smile spreading across his face. “And what about Ree?” Father Johnson asked. “Well, she says she’d like to have one,” Marlboro Man said, looking at me and touching my knee. “But I’m workin’ on her.”",
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                        "text": "“Hey…you okay?” Marlboro Man repeated. My heart fluttered in horror. I wanted to jump out of the bathroom window, scale down the trellis, and hightail it out of there, forgetting I’d ever met any of these people. Only there wasn’t a trellis. And outside the window, down below, were 150 wedding guests. And I was sweating enough for all of them combined.”",
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                        "text": "“By the time we returned to the hotel room, we were laughing again. Marlboro Man was teasing me about how many clothes I’d brought on the honeymoon, and I’d punched him in the arm; he, in turn, had trapped me in the corner of the elevator and tickled me, and I’d threatened to wet my pants if he didn’t stop. And I wasn’t kidding; I’d had a glass of wine at dinner, as well as two Diet Cokes. Tickling me in an elevator wouldn’t be a good idea for very long.”",
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                        "text": "“ Hey --if you guys are goin’ to the movie, c-c-c-can you drive me to the mall?” he yelled. “Sure, Mike,” Marlboro Man said. “We’ll drive you to the mall. It’ll cost you ten bucks, though.” And as the three of us made our way outside to Marlboro Man’s diesel pickup, I had to bite my lip to keep myself from articulating the only seven words in the English language that were in my vocabulary at that moment: God help me--I love that man. ”",
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                        "text": "“Having crossed the international date line, it was Tuesday morning when Marlboro Man and I finally checked into the Park Hyatt, nestled right on the Sydney Harbor. Starving, we feasted on a big plate of scrambled eggs from the lobby buffet before heading up to our room, which overlooked the harbor and had remote control-operated drapes and a marble bathtub just big enough for two newlyweds hell-bent on discovering every single thing about each other’s bodies that they could, as soon as humanly possible. We didn’t come up for air till Wednesday afternoon. “Let’s just stay here for the whole three weeks,” Marlboro Man said, tracing his finger along my scapula as we lay dreamily in our honeymoon bed. “I’m game,” I said, gazing at his whiskered face. Sydney was my new favorite place on earth. Marlboro Man pulled me closer, our heads nestling in each other’s necks…our legs wrapping as tightly around each other as was orthopedically possible. We were as one flesh as two people could be. There were no two ways about it.”",
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                        "text": "“I’d been reborn since Marlboro Man had entered my life; his wild abandon and unabashed passion had freed me from the shackles of cynicism, from thinking that love had to be something to labor over or agonize about. He’d ridden into my life on a speckled gray horse and had saved my heart from hardness. He’d taught me that when you love someone, you say it--and that when it comes to matters of the heart, games are for pimply sixteen-year-olds. Up until then that’s all I’d been: a child masquerading as a disillusioned adult, looking at love much as I’d looked at a round of Marco Polo in the pool at the country club: when they swam after me, I’d swim away. And there are accusations of peeking and cheating, and you always wind up sunburned and pruney and pooped. And no one ever wins. It was Marlboro Man who’d helped me out of the pool, wrapped a towel around my blistering shoulders, and carried me to a world where love has nothing to do with competition or sport or strategy. He told me he loved me when he felt like it, when he thought of it. He never saw any reason not to.”",
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                        "text": "“I’d always liked his house; it was rustic and unadorned, yet beautiful in its simplicity. I could live there. Or I could live in another house. Or I could live in his pickup, or in his barn, or in a teepee in a pasture…as long as he was there. But he wanted to drive and look together, so we drove. And we looked. And we held hands. And we talked. And somewhere along the way, in the bright morning sunshine, Marlboro Man stopped his pickup under the shade of a tree, crossed the great divide between our leather bucket seats, and grabbed me in a sexy, warm embrace. And we sat there and kissed, like two teenagers parked at a drive-in. A 1958 drive-in, though. Before the sexual revolution. Before Cinemax, though my mind remained very much in the 1990s. It was hard to practice restraint in the pickup that morning. There was nobody around to see us. We did practice restraint, though, ending our make-out fest within minutes instead of hours, which would have been my choice. But we had a lifetime ahead. Things to do. Cattle guards to cross.”",
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                        "text": "“Late that evening, I begged Marlboro Man to go back to the ranch to sleep. We’d had visits from my dad, our grandmothers, my best friend, Becky, and Mike. My mom had even peeked her head in once she’d determined the coast was clear, and I’d been poked and prodded and checked by nurses all day long. I felt tired and gross, not having been given permission to shower yet, and I didn’t want him to sleep on a hard cot in the room. Plus, I couldn’t risk being asked about my bodily functions in his presence again. “Go home and get some sleep,” I said. “I’ll still be here in the morning.” He didn’t put up much of a fight. He was exhausted; I could tell. I was exhausted, too--but I was supposed to be. I needed Marlboro Man to stay strong. “Good night, Mama,” he said, kissing my head. I loved this new “Mama” thing. He kissed our baby on the cheek.”",
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                        "text": "“Then I saw the figure standing outside my car door: it was Marlboro Man, who’d come outside to greet me. His jeans were clean, his shirt tucked in and starched. I couldn’t yet see his face, though, which was what I wanted most. Getting out of the car, I smiled and looked up, squinting. The western sunset was a backdrop behind his sculpted frame. It was such a beautiful sight, a stark contrast to all the ugliness that had surrounded me that day. He shut the car door behind me and moved in for a hug, which provided all the emotional fuel I needed to continue breathing. Finally, in that instant, I felt like things would be okay.”",
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                        "text": "“That night, Marlboro Man and I had a date. It was the Thursday night before our wedding, and the rehearsal dinner was the following night. It would be our last night alone together before we’d say I do. I couldn’t wait to see him; it had been two whole days. Forty-eight excruciating hours. I missed him fiercely. When he arrived on my parents’ doorstep, I opened the door and smiled. He looked gorgeous. Solid. Irresistible. Grinning, he stepped forward and kissed me. “You look good,” he said softly, stepping back. “You got some sun today.” I gulped, flashing back to the agony of my facial that afternoon and fearing for the future of my face. I should have just stayed home and packed all day.”",
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                        "text": "“A little while later, I found myself waking, groggy and nauseated, from a deep sleep in a regular hospital room. Disoriented, I glanced around the room and finally found Marlboro Man, who was quietly parked in a comfortable chair in the corner and holding our flannel-wrapped little bundle. He was wearing faded jeans and a white T-shirt--the best he could manage the night before, when my unexpected labor had yanked us both out of bed. His muscular arms holding our baby were almost too much for me to take. Just as I sat up to take a closer look, the baby stretched out her two arms and made a series of tiny gurgling sounds. I was not in Kansas anymore. “Hey, Mama,” Marlboro Man said, smiling. I smiled back, unable to take my eyes off the sight in front of me. Those Hallmark commercials weren’t kidding. A man holding a newborn baby was a beautiful thing to behold.”",
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                        "text": "“Marlboro Man returned home late that afternoon and came into the bedroom, eating a chocolate chip cookie along the way. The baby and I had just woken up from a two-hour nap, and he plopped down on the bed next to us. Without speaking, he stroked her little head with his index finger. I watched him the entire time; his eyes never left her. The room was quiet; the whole house was, in fact. Betsy must have gone out to the laundry room to switch loads. Without thinking, my arm found its way over to him and draped across his back. It was the first time I’d so much as touched him since I’d come home from the hospital. He glanced at me, flashed a faint smile, and draped his arm over my middle…and, magically, blessedly, the three of us fell back asleep--Marlboro Man in his mud-stained clothes, me in my milk-stained pajamas, and our perfect little child resting peacefully between our bodies.”",
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                        "text": "“Filip was from San Jose, but his painfully good looks excused that. He was tall, six-foot-something-or-other, intensely blue eyes, chiseled features, massive package. Didn't have Prince Albert in a Can, but he did have a thick gauged one through his cock head. His name really wasn’t Filip, it was Brent, an all-American moniker about as dark and mysterious as pastel-colored bobby socks. Initially, I joked about his choice of sobriquet, changing his name to go off to the big city, transform into Mr. Big Stuff, until it dawned on me I’d done the same damn thing with my ‘Catalyst’ surname. So I shut up. He comported himself with rigid shoulders and stiff gestures, as if he had a secret. Turns out he did. Filip was married, had a wife for more than a year now, but they had some kind of crazy arrangement. Days they were a couple; evenings they were free to do as they pleased. Where’d they come up with that idea, Jerry Springer? “If you wanted to go back to your place, we could,” Filip suggested. “But only until dawn.” Yeah, right. An affair is an affair, the way I see it. What difference is there between 5 and 7 a.m.? Was their marriage some sort of religious fasting thing, starve until the sun sets then binge and party down? I'd never sunk my teeth into married meat, but figured it was a logical progression from my I'm Not Gay But It's Different With You saga. And if I was going to sin, I was gonna sin good. That means no peeking to see whether it’s still dark outside.”",
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                        "text": "“It didn’t matter how stupid I was--how dumb, or awkward, or sweaty. It became clearer to me than ever, sitting on that ornate concrete bench, that Marlboro Man loved me. Really, really loved me. He loved me with a kind of love different from any I’d felt before, a kind of love I never knew existed. Other boys--at least, the boys I’d always bothered with--would have been embarrassed that I’d disappeared into the bathroom for half the night. Others would have been grossed out by my tale of sweaty woe or made jokes at my expense. Others might have looked at me blankly, unsure of what to say. But not Marlboro Man; none of it fazed him one bit. He simply laughed, kissed me, and went on. And my heart welled up in my soul as I realized that without question, I’d found the one perfect person for me. Because more often than not, I was a mess. Embarrassing, clumsy things happened to me with some degree of regularity; this hadn’t been the first time and it sure wouldn’t be the last. The truth was, despite my best efforts to appear normal and put together on the outside, I’d always felt more like one of the weird kids. But at last, miraculously, I’d found the one man on earth who would actually love that about me. I’d found the one man on earth who would appreciate my spots of imperfection…and who wouldn’t try to polish them all away.”",
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                        "text": "“I’d better go,” Marlboro Man said, leaning forward and kissing my cheek. I still grasped the diamond ring in my warm, sweaty hand. “I don’t want Mike to burst a blood vessel.” He laughed out loud, clearly enjoying it all. I tried to speak but couldn’t. I’d been rendered totally mute. Nothing could have prepared me for those ten minutes of my life. The last thing I remember, I’d awakened at eleven. Moments later, I was hiding in my bathroom, trying, in all my early-morning ugliness, to avoid being seen by Marlboro Man, who’d dropped by unexpectedly. Now I was standing on the front porch, a diamond ring in my hand. It was all completely surreal. Marlboro Man turned to leave. “You can give me your answer later,” he said, grinning, his Wranglers waving good-bye to me in the bright noonday sun. But then it all came flashing across my line of sight. The boots in the bar, the icy blue-green eyes, the starched shirt, the Wranglers…the first date, the long talks, my breakdown in his kitchen, the movies, the nights on his porch, the kisses, the long drives, the hugs…the all-encompassing, mind-numbing passion I felt. It played frame by frame in my mind in a steady stream. “Hey,” I said, walking toward him and effortlessly sliding the ring on my finger. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his arms, instinctively, wrapped around my waist and raised me off the ground in our all-too-familiar pose. “Yep,” I said effortlessly. He smiled and hugged me tightly. Mike, once again, laid on the horn, oblivious to what had just happened. Marlboro Man said nothing more. He simply kissed me, smiled, then drove my brother to the mall.”",
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                        "text": "“As Marlboro Man slid open the huge barn doors and flipped on the enormous lights mounted to the beams, my heart began beating quickly. I couldn’t wait to smell its puppy breath. “Happy wedding,” he said sweetly, leaning against the wall of the barn and motioning toward the center with his eyes. My eyes adjusted to the light…and slowly focused on what was before me. It wasn’t a pug. It wasn’t a diamond or a horse or a shiny gold bangle…or even a blender. It wasn’t a love seat. It wasn’t a lamp. Sitting before me, surrounded by scattered bunches of hay, was a bright green John Deere riding lawn mower--a very large, very green, very mechanical, and very diesel-fueled John Deere riding lawn mower. Literally and figuratively, crickets chirped in the background of the night. And for the hundredth time since our engagement, the reality of the future for which I’d signed up flashed in front of me. I felt a twinge of panic as I saw the tennis bracelet I thought I didn’t want go poof, disappearing completely into the ether. Would this be how presents on the ranch would always be? Does the world of agriculture have a different chart of wedding anniversary presents? Would the first anniversary be paper…or motor oil? Would the second be cotton or Weed Eater string? I would add this to the growing list of things I still needed to figure out.”",
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                        "text": "“When the attendant at Britz Rentals of Australia whipped around in our prepaid-in-full honeymoon car, my eyes grew wide and I knew we were in trouble. It was an SUV, yes, and a Toyota Land Cruiser at that--just as Marlboro Man had ordered. It was white and clean and very shiny. And painted in huge bright orange and royal blue lettering across the hood, the roof, all four doors, and the tailgate of the vehicle, were scrawled the enormous words: BRITZ RENTALS OF AUSTRALIA. I could see Marlboro Man’s jaw muscles flex as he beheld his worst nightmare playing out in front of his eyes. He could hardly even bear to gaze upon such an attention-grabbing abomination, let alone conceive of driving it all over an entire continent. Unfortunately, our last-minute attempts to trade to another vehicle proved to be futile; even if Britz hadn’t been completely booked that week, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Every single car in their fleet was smeared with the exact same orange and blue promotional graffiti. Having no other transportational alternative, we set off on our drive, a black cloud of conspicuousness and, in Marlboro Man’s case, dread following us everywhere we went. Being an attention-seeking middle child, I didn’t really mind it much. But for Marlboro Man, this was more than his makeup was programmed to handle. As far as he was concerned, we were the Griswolds, and the Land Cruiser was our Family Truckster. It was a pox on what might have been the perfect honeymoon. Except for my inner ear disturbance. And the vomiting. And the slightly marsupial undertone to the hamburgers.”",
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                        "text": "“We talked into the night, the room blurring around us as it had done at the dance in West Side Story when Tony and Maria first saw each other across a crowd of people. Tonight, tonight, it all began tonight. My friends giggled and sipped wine at the table where I’d abandoned them earlier in the night, oblivious to the fact that their redheaded amiga had just been struck by a lightning bolt. Before I could internally break into the second chorus of song, my version of Tony--this mysterious cowboy--announced abruptly that he had to go. Go? I thought. Go where? There’s no place on earth but this smoky bar …But there was for him: he and his brother had plans to cook Christmas turkeys for some needy folks in his small town. Mmmm. He’s nice, too, I thought as a pang stabbed my insides. “ Bye ,” he said with a gentle smile. And with that, his delicious boots walked right out of the J-Bar, his dark blue Wranglers cloaking a body that I was sure had to have been chiseled out of granite. My lungs felt tight, and I still smelled his scent through the bar smoke in the air. I didn’t even know his name. I prayed it wasn’t Billy Bob.”",
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                        "text": "“Then I saw the figure standing outside my car door: it was Marlboro Man, who’d come outside to greet me. His jeans were clean, his shirt tucked in and starched. I couldn’t yet see his face, though, which was what I wanted most. Getting out of the car, I smiled and looked up, squinting. The western sunset was a backdrop behind his sculpted frame. It was such a beautiful sight, a stark contrast to all the ugliness that had surrounded me that day. He shut the car door behind me and moved in for a hug, which provided all the emotional fuel I needed to continue breathing. Finally, in that instant, I felt like things would be okay. I smiled and acted cheerful, following him into the kitchen and not at all letting on that my day had sucked about as badly as a day could have sucked. I’d never been one to wear my feelings on my sleeve, and I sure wasn’t going to let them splay out on what was merely my sixth date with the sexiest, most masculine man I’d ever met. But I knew I was a goner when Marlboro Man looked at me and asked, “You okay?” You know when you’re not okay, but then someone asks you if you’re okay, and you say you’re okay and act like you’re okay, but then you start realizing you’re not okay? Then you feel your nose start to tingle and your throat start to swell and your chin start to quiver and you tell yourself, In the name of all that is good and holy, do not do this. Do not do this… but you’re powerless to stop it? And you try to blink it away and you finally think you’ve just about got it under control? But then the cowboy standing in front of you smiles gently and says, “You sure?” Those two simple words opened up the Floodgates of Hell. I smiled and laughed, embarrassed, even as two big, thick tears rolled down both my cheeks. Then I laughed again and blew a nice, clear explosion of snot from my nose. Of all the things that had happened that day, that single moment might have been the worst.”",
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                        "text": "“What would you do if Ree became gravely ill?” Father Johnson asked Marlboro Man. “Well, sir,” Marlboro Man replied, “I’d take care of her.” “Who’s going to do the cooking in your household?” Marlboro Man smiled. “Ree’s a great cook,” he answered. I sat up proudly in my chair, trying not to remember the Linguine with Clam Sauce and the Marinated Flank Steak and whatever other well-intentioned meals I’d massacred early in our relationship. “What about the dishes?” Father Johnson continued, channeling Gloria Steinem. “See yourself helping out there?” Marlboro Man scratched his chin and paused. “Sure,” he said. “Honestly, these aren’t really things we’ve sat down and talked about.” His voice was kind. Polite. I wanted to crawl in a hole. I wanted to have my gums scraped. I wanted to go fight that huge prairie fire from a while back. Anything would be better than this. “Have you talked about how many children you’d like to have?” “Yes, sir,” Marlboro Man said. “And?” Father Johnson prodded. “I’d like to have six or so,” Marlboro Man answered, a virile smile spreading across his face. “And what about Ree?” Father Johnson asked. “Well, she says she’d like to have one,” Marlboro Man said, looking at me and touching my knee. “But I’m workin’ on her.”",
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                        "text": "“Of course, no china--however intricate and inviting--was as seductive as my fiancé, my future husband, who continued to eat me alive with one glance from his icy-blue eyes. Who greeted me not at the door of his house when I arrived almost every night of the week, but at my car. Who welcomed me not with a pat on the arm or even a hug but with an all-enveloping, all-encompassing embrace. Whose good-night kisses began the moment I arrived, not hours later when it was time to go home. We were already playing house, what with my almost daily trips to the ranch and our five o’clock suppers and our lazy movie nights on his thirty-year-old leather couch, the same one his parents had bought when they were a newly married couple. We’d already watched enough movies together to last a lifetime. Giant with James Dean, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Reservoir Dogs, Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, The Graduate, All Quiet on the Western Front, and, more than a handful of times, Gone With the Wind. I was continually surprised by the assortment of movies Marlboro Man loved to watch--his taste was surprisingly eclectic--and I loved discovering more and more about him through the VHS collection in his living room. He actually owned The Philadelphia Story . With Marlboro Man, surprises lurked around every corner. We were already a married couple--well, except for the whole “sleepover thing” and the fact that we hadn’t actually gotten hitched yet. We stayed in, like any married couple over the age of sixty, and continued to get to know everything about each other completely outside the realm of parties, dates, and gatherings. All of that was way too far away, anyway--a minimum hour-and-a-half drive to the nearest big city--and besides that, Marlboro Man was a fish out of water in a busy, crowded bar. As for me, I’d been there, done that--a thousand and one times. Going out and panting the town red was unnecessary and completely out of context for the kind of life we’d be building together. This was what we brought each other, I realized. He showed me a slower pace, and permission to be comfortable in the absence of exciting plans on the horizon. I gave him, I realized, something different. Different from the girls he’d dated before--girls who actually knew a thing or two about country life. Different from his mom, who’d also grown up on a ranch. Different from all of his female cousins, who knew how to saddle and ride and who were born with their boots on. As the youngest son in a family of three boys, maybe he looked forward to experiencing life with someone who’d see the country with fresh eyes. Someone who’d appreciate how miraculously countercultural, how strange and set apart it all really is. Someone who couldn’t ride to save her life. Who didn’t know north from south, or east from west. If that defined his criteria for a life partner, I was definitely the woman for the job.”",
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                        "text": "“I brushed my teeth like a crazed lunatic as I examined myself in the mirror. Why couldn’t I look the women in commercials who wake up in a bed with ironed sheets and a dewy complexion with their hair perfectly tousled? I wasn’t fit for human eyes, let alone the piercing eyes of the sexy, magnetic Marlboro Man, who by now was walking up the stairs to my bedroom. I could hear the clomping of his boots. The boots were in my bedroom by now, and so was the gravelly voice attached to them. “Hey,” I heard him say. I patted an ice-cold washcloth on my face and said ten Hail Marys, incredulous that I would yet again find myself trapped in the prison of a bathroom with Marlboro Man, my cowboy love, on the other side of the door. What in the world was he doing there? Didn’t he have some cows to wrangle? Some fence to fix? It was broad daylight; didn’t he have a ranch to run? I needed to speak to him about his work ethic. “Oh, hello,” I responded through the door, ransacking the hamper in my bathroom for something, anything better than the sacrilege that adorned my body. Didn’t I have any respect for myself? I heard Marlboro Man laugh quietly. “What’re you doing in there?” I found my favorite pair of faded, soft jeans. “Hiding,” I replied, stepping into them and buttoning the waist. “Well, c’mere,” he said softly. My jeans were damp from sitting in the hamper next to a wet washcloth for two days, and the best top I could find was a cardinal and gold FIGHT ON! T-shirt from my ‘SC days. It wasn’t dingy, and it didn’t smell. That was the best I could do at the time. Oh, how far I’d fallen from the black heels and glitz of Los Angeles. Accepting defeat, I shrugged and swung open the door. He was standing there, smiling. His impish grin jumped out and grabbed me, as it always did. “Well, good morning!” he said, wrapping his arms around my waist. His lips settled on my neck. I was glad I’d spritzed myself with Giorgio. “Good morning,” I whispered back, a slight edge to my voice. Equal parts embarrassed at my puffy eyes and at the fact that I’d slept so late that day, I kept hugging him tightly, hoping against hope he’d never let go and never back up enough to get a good, long look at me. Maybe if we just stood there for fifty years or so, wrinkles would eventually shield my puffiness. “So,” Marlboro Man said. “What have you been doing all day?” I hesitated for a moment, then launched into a full-scale monologue. “Well, of course I had my usual twenty-mile run, then I went on a hike and then I read The Iliad . Twice. You don’t even want to know the rest. It’ll make you tired just hearing about it.” “Uh-huh,” he said, his blue-green eyes fixed on mine. I melted in his arms once again. It happened any time, every time, he held me. He kissed me, despite my gold FIGHT ON! T-shirt. My eyes were closed, and I was in a black hole, a vortex of romance, existing in something other than a human body. I floated on vapors. Marlboro Man whispered in my ear, “So…,” and his grip around my waist tightened. And then, in an instant, I plunged back to earth, back to my bedroom, and landed with a loud thud on the floor. “R-R-R-R-Ree?” A thundering voice entered the room. It was my brother Mike. And he was barreling toward Marlboro Man and me, his arms outstretched. “ Hey! ” Mike yelled. “W-w-w-what are you guys doin’?” And before either of us knew it, Mike’s arms were around us both, holding us in a great big bear hug. “Well, hi, Mike,” Marlboro Man said, clearly trying to reconcile the fact that my adult brother had his arms around him. It wasn’t awkward for me; it was just annoying. Mike had interrupted our moment. He was always doing that.”",
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                        "text": "“I hadn’t noticed, through all my inner torture and turmoil, that Marlboro Man and the horses had been walking closer to me. Before I knew it, Marlboro Man’s right arm was wrapped around my waist while his other hand held the reins of the two horses. In another instant, he pulled me toward him in a tight grip and leaned in for a sweet, tender kiss--a kiss he seemed to savor even after our lips parted. “Good morning,” he said sweetly, grinning that magical grin. My knees went weak. I wasn’t sure if it was the kiss itself…or the dread of riding. We mounted our horses and began walking slowly up the hillside. When we reached the top, Marlboro Man pointed across a vast prairie. “See that thicket of trees over there?” he said. “That’s where we’re headed.” Almost immediately, he gave his horse a kick and began to trot across the flat plain. With no prompting from me at all, my horse followed suit. I braced myself, becoming stiff and rigid and resigning myself to looking like a freak in front of my love and also to at least a week of being too sore to move. I held on to the saddle, the reins, and my life as my horse took off in the same direction as Marlboro Man’s. Not two minutes into our ride, my horse slightly faltered after stepping in a shallow hole. Having no experience with this kind of thing, I reacted, shrieking loudly and pulling wildly on my reins, simultaneously stiffening my body further. The combination didn’t suit my horse, who decided, understandably, that he pretty much didn’t want me on his back anymore. He began to buck, and my life flashed before my eyes--for the first time, I was deathly afraid of horses. I held on for dear life as the huge creature underneath me bounced and reared, but my body caught air, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d go flying. In the distance, I heard Marlboro Man’s voice. “Pull up on the reins! Pull up! Pull up!” My body acted immediately--it was used to responding instantly to that voice, after all--and I pulled up tightly on the horse’s reins. This forced its head to an upright position, which made bucking virtually impossible for the horse. Problem was, I pulled up too tightly and quickly, and the horse reared up. I leaned forward and hugged the saddle, praying I wouldn’t fall off backward and sustain a massive head injury. I liked my head. I wasn’t ready to say good-bye to it. By the time the horse’s front legs hit the ground, my left leg was dangling out of its stirrup, even as all my dignity was dangling by a thread. Using my balletic agility, I quickly hopped off the horse, tripping and stumbling away the second my feet hit the ground. Instinctively, I began hurriedly walking away--from the horse, from the ranch, from the burning. I didn’t know where I was going--back to L.A., I figured, or maybe I’d go through with Chicago after all. I didn’t care; I just knew I had to keep walking. In the meantime, Marlboro Man had arrived at the scene and quickly calmed my horse, who by now was eating a leisurely morning snack of dead winter grass that had yet to be burned. The nag. “You okay?” Marlboro Man called out. I didn’t answer. I just kept on walking, determined to get the hell out of Dodge. It took him about five seconds to catch up with me; I wasn’t a very fast walker. “Hey,” he said, grabbing me around the waist and whipping me around so I was facing him. “Aww, it’s okay. It happens.”",
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                        "text": "“So,” Marlboro Man began over dinner one night. “How many kids do you want to have?” I almost choked on my medium-rare T-bone, the one he’d grilled for me so expertly with his own two hands. “Oh my word,” I replied, swallowing hard. I didn’t feel so hungry anymore. “I don’t know…how many kids do you want to have?” “Oh, I don’t know,” he said with a mischievous grin. “Six or so. Maybe seven.” I felt downright nauseated. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, my body preparing me for the dreaded morning sickness that, I didn’t know at the time, awaited me. Six or seven kids? Righty-oh, Marlboro Man. Righty…no. “Ha-ha ha-ha ha. Ha.” I laughed, tossing my long hair over my shoulder and acting like he’d made a big joke. “Yeah, right! Ha-ha. Six kids…can you imagine?” Ha-ha. Ha. Ha.” The laughter was part humor, part nervousness, part terror. We’d never had a serious discussion about children before. “Why?” He looked a little more serious this time. “How many kids do you think we should have?” I smeared my mashed potatoes around on my plate and felt my ovaries leap inside my body. This was not a positive development. Stop that! I ordered, silently. Settle down! Go back to sleep! I blinked and took a swig of the wine Marlboro Man had bought me earlier in the day. “Let’s see…,” I answered, drumming my fingernails on the table. “How ’bout one? Or maybe…one and a half?” I sucked in my stomach--another defensive move in an attempt to deny what I didn’t realize at the time was an inevitable, and jiggly, future. “One?” he replied. “Aw, that’s not nearly enough of a work crew for me. I’ll need a lot more help than that!” Then he chuckled, standing up to clear our plates as I sat there in a daze, having no idea whether or not he was kidding. It was the strangest conversation I’d ever had. I felt like the roller coaster had just pulled away from the gate, and the entire amusement park was pitch-black. I had no idea what was in front of me; I was entering a foreign land. My ovaries, on the other hand, were doing backflips, as if they’d been wandering, parched, in a barren wasteland and finally, miraculously, happened upon a roaring waterfall. And that waterfall was about six feet tall, with gray hair and bulging biceps. They never knew they could experience such hope.”",
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                        "text": "“When we arrived at the wedding at Marlboro Man’s grandparents’ house, I gasped. People were absolutely everywhere: scurrying and mingling and sipping champagne and laughing on the lawn. Marlboro Man’s mother was the first person I saw. She was an elegant, statuesque vision in her brown linen dress, and she immediately greeted and welcomed me. “What a pretty suit,” she said as she gave me a warm hug. Score. Success. I felt better about life. After the ceremony, I’d meet Cousin T., Cousin H., Cousin K., Cousin D., and more aunts, uncles, and acquaintances than I ever could have counted. Each family member was more gracious and welcoming than the one before, and it didn’t take long before I felt right at home. This was going well. This was going really, really well. It was hot, though, and humid, and suddenly my lightweight wool suit didn’t feel so lightweight anymore. I was deep in conversation with a group of ladies--smiling and laughing and making small talk--when a trickle of perspiration made its way slowly down my back. I tried to ignore it, tried to will the tiny stream of perspiration away, but one trickle soon turned into two, and two turned into four. Concerned, I casually excused myself from the conversation and disappeared into the air-conditioned house. I needed to cool off. I found an upstairs bathroom away from the party, and under normal circumstances I would have taken time to admire its charming vintage pedestal sinks and pink hexagonal tile. But the sweat profusely dripping from all pores of my body was too distracting. Soon, I feared, my jacket would be drenched. Seeing no other option, I unbuttoned my jacket and removed it, hanging it on the hook on the back of the bathroom door as I frantically looked around the bathroom for an absorbent towel. None existed. I found the air vent on the ceiling, and stood on the toilet to allow the air-conditioning to blast cool air on my face. Come on, Ree, get a grip , I told myself. Something was going on…this was more than simply a reaction to the August humidity. I was having some kind of nervous psycho sweat attack--think Albert Brooks in Broadcast News --and I was being held captive by my perspiration in the upstairs bathroom of Marlboro Man’s grandmother’s house in the middle of his cousin’s wedding reception. I felt the waistband of my skirt stick to my skin. Oh, God…I was in trouble. Desperate, I stripped off my skirt and the stifling control-top panty hose I’d made the mistake of wearing; they peeled off my legs like a soggy banana skin. And there I stood, naked and clammy, my auburn bangs becoming more waterlogged by the minute. So this is it , I thought. This is hell. I was in the throes of a case of diaphoresis the likes of which I’d never known. And it had to be on the night of my grand entrance into Marlboro Man’s family. Of course, it just had to be. I looked in the mirror, shaking my head as anxiety continued to seep from my pores, taking my makeup and perfumed body cream along with it. Suddenly, I heard the knock at the bathroom door. “Yes? Just a minute…yes?” I scrambled and grabbed my wet control tops. “Hey, you…are you all right in there?” God help me. It was Marlboro Man.”",
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                        "text": "“I looked around and realized we were headed down a different road than Marlboro Man would normally take. “I have to give you your wedding present,” Marlboro Man said before I could ask where we were going. “I can’t wait a month before I give it to you.” Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “But…,” I stammered. “I haven’t gotten yours yet.” Marlboro Man clasped my hand, continuing to look forward at the road. “Yes you have,” he said, bringing my hand to his lips and turning me to a pool of melted butter right in his big Ford truck. We wound through several curves in the road, and I tried to discern whether I’d been there before. My sense of direction was lousy; everything looked the same to me. Finally, just as the sun was dipping below the horizon, we came upon an old barn. Marlboro Man pulled up beside it and parked. Confused, I looked around. He got me a barn? “What…what are we doing here?” I asked. Marlboro Man didn’t answer. Instead, he just turned off the pickup, turned to me…and smiled. “What is it?” I asked as Marlboro Man and I exited the pickup and walked toward the barn. “You’ll see,” he replied. He definitely had something up his sleeve. I was nervous. I always hated opening gifts in front of the person who gave them to me. It made me uncomfortable, as if I were sitting in a dark room with a huge spotlight shining on my head. I squirmed with discomfort. I wanted to turn and run away. Hide in his pickup. Hide in the pasture. Lie low for a few weeks. I didn’t want a wedding present. I was weird that way. “But…but…,” I said, trying to back out. “But I don’t have your wedding present yet.” As if anything would have derailed him at that point. “Don’t worry about that,” Marlboro Man replied, hugging me around the waist as we walked. He smelled so good, and I inhaled deeply. “Besides, we can share this one.” That’s strange , I thought. Any fleeting ideas I’d had that he’d be giving me a shiny bracelet or sparkly necklace or other bauble suddenly seemed far-fetched. How could he and I share the same tennis bracelet? Maybe he got me one of those two-necklace sets, the ones with the halved hearts , I thought, and he’ll wear one half and I’ll wear the other. I couldn’t exactly picture it, but Marlboro Man had never been above surprising me. Then again, we were walking toward a barn.”",
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                        "text": "“Marlboro Man opened the passenger door of the semi and allowed me to climb out in front of him, while Tim exited the driver-side door to see us off. That wasn’t so bad , I thought as I made my way down the steps. Aside from the manicure remark and my sweating problem, meeting Marlboro Man’s brother had gone remarkably well. I looked okay that evening, had managed a couple of witty remarks, and had worn just the right clothing to conceal my nervousness. Life was good. Then, because the Gods of Embarrassment seemed hell-bent on making me look bad, I lost my balance on the last step, hooking the heel of my stupid black boots on the grate of the step and awkwardly grabbing the handlebar to save myself from falling to my death onto the gravel driveway below. But though I stopped myself from wiping out, my purse flew off my arm and landed, facedown, on Tim’s driveway, violently spilling its contents all over the gravel. Only a woman can know the dreaded feeling of spilling her purse in the company of men. Suddenly my soul was everywhere, laid bare for Marlboro Man and his brother to see: year-old lip gloss, a leaky pen, wadded gum wrappers, and a hairbrush loaded up with hundreds, if not thousands, of my stringy auburn hairs. And men don’t understand wads of long hair--for all they knew, I had some kind of follicular disorder and was going bald. There were no feminine products, but there was a package of dental floss, with a messy, eight-inch piece dangling from the opening and blowing in the wind. And there were Tic Tacs. Lots and lots of Tic Tacs. Orange ones. Then there was the money. Loose ones and fives and tens and twenties that had been neatly folded together and tucked into a pocket inside my purse were now blowing wildly around Tim’s driveway, swept away by the strengthening wind from an approaching storm. Nothing in my life could have prepared me for the horror of watching Marlboro Man, my new love, and his brother, Tim, whom I’d just met, chivalrously dart around Tim’s driveway, trying valiantly to save my wayward dollars, all because I couldn’t keep my balance on the steps of their shiny new semi. I left my car at Tim’s for the evening, and when we pulled away in Marlboro Man’s pickup, I stared out the window, shaking my head and apologizing for being such a colossal dork. When we got to the highway, Marlboro Man glanced at me as he made a right-hand turn. “Yeah,” he said, consoling me. “But you’re my dork.”",
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                        "text": "“I’d been reflecting on this--the drastic turn my life and my outlook on love had taken--more and more on the evenings Marlboro Man and I spent together, the nights we sat on his quiet porch, with no visible city lights or traffic sounds anywhere. Usually we’d have shared a dinner, done the dishes, watched a movie. But we’d almost always wind up on his porch, sitting or standing, overlooking nothing but dark, open countryside illuminated by the clear, unpolluted moonlight. If we weren’t wrapping in each other’s arms, I imagined, the quiet, rural darkness might be a terribly lonely place. But Marlboro Man never gave me a chance to find out. It was on this very porch that Marlboro Man had first told me he loved me, not two weeks after our first date. It had been a half-whisper, a mere thought that had left his mouth in a primal, noncalculated release. And it had both surprised and melted me all at once; the honesty of it, the spontaneity, the unbridled emotion. But though everything in my gut told me I was feeling exactly the same way, in all the time since I still hadn’t found the courage to repeat those words to him. I was guarded, despite the affection Marlboro Man heaped upon me. I was jaded; my old relationship had done that to me, and watching the crumbling of my parents’ thirty-year marriage hadn’t exactly helped. There was just something about saying the words “I love you” that was difficult for me, even though I knew, without a doubt, that I did love him. Oh, I did. But I was hanging on to them for dear life--afraid of what my saying them would mean, afraid of what might come of it. I’d already eaten beef--something I never could have predicted I’d do when I was living the vegetarian lifestyle. I’d gotten up before 4:00 A.M. to work cattle. And I’d put my Chicago plans on hold. At least, that’s what I’d told myself all that time. I put my plans on hold. That was enough, wasn’t it? Putting my life’s plans on hold for him? Marlboro Man had to know I loved him, didn’t he? He was so confident when we were together, so open, so honest, so transparent and sure. There was no such thing as “give-and-take” with him. He gave freely, poured out his heart willingly, and either he didn’t particularly care what my true feelings were for him, or, more likely, he already knew. Despite my silence, despite my fear of totally losing my grip on my former self, on the independent girl that I’d wanted to believe I was for so long…he knew. And he had all the patience he needed to wait for me to say it.”",
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                        "text": "“Well, uh,” I said playfully. “Thanks for taking my brother to the mall.” Mike fired up the diesel engine. “No problem,” Marlboro Man said, leaning in for a kiss. “I’ll see you tonight.” We had a standing date. “See you then.” Mike laid on the horn. Marlboro Man headed toward his pickup, then stopped midway and turned toward me once again. “Oh, hey--by the way,” he said, walking back toward the front step. “You wanna get married?” His hand reached into the pocket of his Wranglers. My heart skipped a beat.”",
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                        "text": "“How much do you know about each other?” was Father Johnson’s final question of the day. Marlboro Man and I looked at each other. We didn’t know everything yet; we couldn’t possibly. We just knew we wanted to be together. Was that not enough? “Well, I’ll speak for myself,” Marlboro Man said. “I feel like I know all I need to know in order to be sure I want to marry Ree.” He rested his hand on my knee, and my heart leapt. “And the rest…I figure we’ll just handle it as we go along.”",
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                        "text": "“When we arrived at the wedding at Marlboro Man’s grandparents’ house, I gasped. People were absolutely everywhere: scurrying and mingling and sipping champagne and laughing on the lawn. Marlboro Man’s mother was the first person I saw. She was an elegant, statuesque vision in her brown linen dress, and she immediately greeted and welcomed me. “What a pretty suit,” she said as she gave me a warm hug. Score. Success. I felt better about life.”",
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                        "text": "“Once out of the church doors, Marlboro Man swatted me. “Ow!” I shrieked, feeling stung. “What was that for?” “Just your Tuesday spanking,” Marlboro Man answered. I smiled. I’d always loved Tuesdays. We hopped in the pickup, and Marlboro Man started the engine. “Hey,” he said, turning to me. “Got any magazines I can borrow?” I giggled as Marlboro Man pulled away from the church. “I could use some glue, too,” he added. “I don’t think I have any at my house.”",
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                        "text": "“I have to give you your wedding present,” Marlboro Man said before I could ask where we were going. “I can’t wait a month before I give it to you.” Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. “But…,” I stammered. “I haven’t gotten yours yet.” Marlboro Man clasped my hand, continuing to look forward at the road. “Yes you have,” he said, bringing my hand to his lips and turning me to a pool of melted butter right in his big Ford truck.”",
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                        "text": "“I walked proudly out of the church, the new wife of Marlboro Man. When we exited the same doors through which my dad and I had walked thirty minutes earlier, Marlboro Man’s arm wriggled loose from my grasp and instinctively wrapped around my waist, where it belonged. The other arm followed, and before I knew it we were locked in a sweet, solidifying embrace, relishing the instant of solitude before our wedding party--sisters, cousins, brothers, friends--followed closely behind. We were married. I drew a deep, life-giving breath and exhaled.”",
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