--- title: "7 Malls Quotes By Dave Barry" description: "7 Malls quotes by Dave Barry. Plus more from Dave Barry and more Malls sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/dave-barry-222_ability_all-the-shopping-malls-and-restaurants-a_283978.png" --- > [All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/all-the-shopping-malls-and-restaurants-and-airports-are-riddled-with/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/dave-barry-222_ability_all-the-shopping-malls-and-restaurants-a_283978.png) > [Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/unless-you-live-in-indonesia-there-should-be-several-malls-within/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6eb/dave-barry-222_chains_unless-you-live-in-indonesia-there-shoul_817632.jpg) > [She goes to Frederick's of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that you could read an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/she-goes-to-frederick-s-of-hollywood-at-the-mall-and-purchases-an/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/dave-barry-222_appliances_she-goes-to-frederick-s-of-hollywood-at_958139.jpg) > [Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in-the-holiday-season-that-very/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4af/dave-barry-222_century_once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in_1715595.png) > [... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/once-you-re-safely-in-the-mall-you-should-tie-your-children-to-you/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a1/dave-barry-222_advertisements_once-you-re-safely-in-the-mall-you-shoul_2213153.png) > [Excellence is THE trend of the '80s. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/excellence-is-the-trend-of-the-80s-walk-into-any-shopping-mall/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/776/dave-barry-222_80s_excellence-is-the-trend-of-the-80s-walk_2409745.png) > [Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in-the-holiday-season-that-very-2/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84c/dave-barry-222_century_once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in_3041022.png) ## Other authors on Malls - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-bill-bryson-17856.jpg) Bill Bryson 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/malls/bill-bryson/) ## More by Dave Barry > [This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-is-true-virtually-all-edible-substances-and-many-automotive/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/this-ball-was-so-crowded-that-it-took-me-a-trained-professional/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-hardest-thing-about-being-a-guy-is-that-women-don-t-accept-that/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-ultimate-camping-trip-was-the-lewis-and-clark-expedition/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/although-golf-was-originally-restricted-to-wealthy-overweight/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/entire-new-continent-can-emerge-from-the-ocean-in-the-time-it-takes/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/he-was-distracted-by-a-giggle-and-turned-to-see-a-rare-sight-a-girl/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-major-parties-could-conduct-live-human-sacrifices-on-their/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/if-you-look-at-any-list-of-great-modern-writers-such-as-ernest/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/don-t-you-wish-you-had-a-job-like-mine-all-you-have-to-do-is-think-up/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/despite-the-gulf-physical-and-cultural-between-the-united-states-and/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/before-going-on-a-diet-you-should-consult-your-doctor-or-at-least/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Never trust anything you read in a travel article.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/never-trust-anything-you-read-in-a-travel-article/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/in-the-old-days-it-was-not-called-the-holiday-season-the-christians/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) > [Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/always-remember-that-if-editors-were-so-damned-smart-they-would-know/) [Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/malls/dave-barry/#itemlist", "name": "7 Malls Quotes By Dave Barry", "numberOfItems": 7, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which apparently have developed the ability to reproduce by themselves; these are all connected to a special programming service called Music That Nobody Really Likes, and you cannot get away from it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/all-the-shopping-malls-and-restaurants-and-airports-are-riddled-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/dave-barry-222_ability_all-the-shopping-malls-and-restaurants-a_283978.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/dave-barry-222_ability_all-the-shopping-malls-and-restaurants-a_283978.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/dave-barry-222_ability_all-the-shopping-malls-and-restaurants-a_283978.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“All the shopping malls and restaurants and airports are riddled with low-fidelity loudspeakers, which…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which one you go to: Under federal law, all malls in the United States must have the same 42 chain stores.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/unless-you-live-in-indonesia-there-should-be-several-malls-within/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6eb/dave-barry-222_chains_unless-you-live-in-indonesia-there-shoul_817632.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6eb/dave-barry-222_chains_unless-you-live-in-indonesia-there-shoul_817632.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6eb/dave-barry-222_chains_unless-you-live-in-indonesia-there-shoul_817632.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. 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We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Barry" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in-the-holiday-season-that-very/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4af/dave-barry-222_century_once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in_1715595.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4af/dave-barry-222_century_once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in_1715595.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4af/dave-barry-222_century_once-again-we-find-ourselves-enmeshed-in_1715595.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join…” — Dave Barry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. 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