--- title: "4 Loved ones Quotes By Gabor Maté" description: "4 Loved ones quotes by Gabor Maté. Plus more from Gabor Maté and more Loved ones sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3f/gabor-mat-1410_loved-ones_one-cannot-get-much-more-vulnerable-than_164338.png" --- > [“One cannot get much more vulnerable than to expose oneself psychologically. To share oneself with another and then be misunderstood or rejected…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/one-cannot-get-much-more-vulnerable-than-to-expose-oneself/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3f/gabor-mat-1410_loved-ones_one-cannot-get-much-more-vulnerable-than_164338.png) > [“Our difficulty or inability to perceive the experience of others…is all the more pronounced the more distant these experiences are from ours…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/our-difficulty-or-inability-to-perceive-the-experience-of-others-is/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fd/gabor-mat-1410_faith-in-humanity_our-difficulty-or-inability-to-perceive_651268.jpg) > [Medical thinking usually sees stress as highly disturbing but isolated events such as, for example, sudden unemployment, a marriage breakup, or the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/medical-thinking-usually-sees-stress-as-highly-disturbing-but/) [Gabor Mate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/gabor-mat-1410_breakup_medical-thinking-usually-sees-stress-as_969349.png) > [“Developing the courage to think negatively allows us to look at ourselves as we really are. There is a remarkable consistency in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/developing-the-courage-to-think-negatively-allows-us-to-look-at/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/acc/gabor-mat-1410_autoimmune-disease_developing-the-courage-to-think-negative_2000738.jpg) ## Other authors on Loved ones - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-ritu-ghatourey-5.jpg) Ritu Ghatourey 9 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/ritu-ghatourey/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b019/author-paulo-coelho-74345.jpg) Paulo Coelho 9 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/paulo-coelho/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b003/author-alain-de-botton-10218.jpg) Alain de Botton 7 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/alain-de-botton/) - [Shannon L. Alder 6 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/shannon-l-alder/) - [Megory Anderson 6 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/megory-anderson/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-john-green-51499.jpg) John Green 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/john-green/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-barack-obama-16275.jpg) Barack Obama 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/barack-obama/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-anurag-prakash-ray-38.jpg) Anurag Prakash Ray 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/anurag-prakash-ray/) - [Tyler Henry 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/tyler-henry/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-george-w-bush-38036.jpg) George W. Bush 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/george-w-bush/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b003/author-al-franken-10144.jpg) Al Franken 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/al-franken/) ## More by Gabor Maté > [“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/as-parents-who-make-every-effort-we-can-to-raise-our-children-in/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“The fact is, we in this society are often quite removed from our own emotional reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/the-fact-is-we-in-this-society-are-often-quite-removed-from-our-own/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Shame is the deepest of the “negative emotions,” a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/shame-is-the-deepest-of-the-negative-emotions-a-feeling-we-will-do/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Many adults have not attained maturity — have not mastered being independent, self-motivated individuals capable of tending their own emotional needs and of respecting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/many-adults-have-not-attained-maturity-have-not-mastered-being/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [Autonomy is impossible as long as one is driven by anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/autonomy-is-impossible-as-long-as-one-is-driven-by-anything/) [Gabor Mate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“If a mother has eight children, there are eight mothers. This is not simply because of the fact that the mother was different in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/if-a-mother-has-eight-children-there-are-eight-mothers-this-is-not/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Without attachment, the parent succeeds at most in cowing a child into obedience, at the price of grave damage to the relationship and to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/without-attachment-the-parent-succeeds-at-most-in-cowing-a-child-into/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Attachment is our connection with the world. In the earliest attachment relationships, we gain or lose the ability to stay open, self-nurturing and healthy.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/attachment-is-our-connection-with-the-world-in-the-earliest/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“So what you've actually got is traumatized children. When children are traumatized that affects how they feel about themselves, which is deeply ashamed because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/so-what-you-ve-actually-got-is-traumatized-children-when-children-are/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Even without world wars, revolutions and emigration, siblings growing up in the same home almost never share the same environment. More accurately, brothers and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/even-without-world-wars-revolutions-and-emigration-siblings-growing/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“We think that there are people who are normal over here, and then there’s the pathological ones who have depression, anxiety, addiction or schizophrenia…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/we-think-that-there-are-people-who-are-normal-over-here-and-then/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“One cannot get much more vulnerable than to expose oneself psychologically. To share oneself with another and then be misunderstood or rejected is, for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/one-cannot-get-much-more-vulnerable-than-to-expose-oneself/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“The areas of the cortex responsible for attention and self-regulation develop in response to the emotional interaction with the person whom we may call…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/the-areas-of-the-cortex-responsible-for-attention-and-self-regulation/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Peer-oriented children live in a universe of severely limited and superficial attachments. The quest for sameness being the least vulnerable way of attaching, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/peer-oriented-children-live-in-a-universe-of-severely-limited-and/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“The United States contains less than 5 percent of the world’s population but houses nearly a quarter of the world’s prisoners.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/the-united-states-contains-less-than-5-percent-of-the-world-s/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-ones/gabor-mat/#itemlist", "name": "4 Loved ones Quotes By Gabor Maté", "numberOfItems": 4, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“One cannot get much more vulnerable than to expose oneself psychologically. 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Levi quotes Jean Améry, a Jewish-Austrian philosopher and resistance fighter who fell into the grasp of the Gestapo. “Anyone who was tortured remains tortured… Anyone who has suffered torture never again will be able to be at ease in the world…Faith in humanity, already cracked by the first slap in the face, then demolished by torture, is never acquired again.” Améry was a full-grown adult when he was traumatized, an accomplished intellectual captured by the foe in the course of a war of liberation. 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Internally generated stresses take their toll without in any way seeming out of the ordinary.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gabor Maté" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/medical-thinking-usually-sees-stress-as-highly-disturbing-but/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/gabor-mat-1410_breakup_medical-thinking-usually-sees-stress-as_969349.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/gabor-mat-1410_breakup_medical-thinking-usually-sees-stress-as_969349.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/gabor-mat-1410_breakup_medical-thinking-usually-sees-stress-as_969349.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Medical thinking usually sees stress as highly disturbing but isolated events such as, for example, sudden…” — Gabor Mate", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Developing the courage to think negatively allows us to look at ourselves as we really are. There is a remarkable consistency in people’s coping styles across the many diseases we have considered: the repression of anger, the denial of vulnerability, the “compensatory hyperindependence.” No one chooses these traits deliberately or develops them consciously. Negative thinking helps us to understand just what the conditions were in our lives and how these traits were shaped by our perceptions of our environment. Emotionally draining family relationships have been identified as risk factors in virtually every category of major illness, from degenerative neurological conditions to cancer and autoimmune disease. The purpose is not to blame parents or previous generations or spouses but to enable us to discard beliefs that have proved dangerous to our health. “The power of negative thinking” requires the removal of rose-coloured glasses. Not blame of others but owning responsibility for one’s relationships is the key. It is no small matter to ask people with newly diagnosed illness to begin to examine their relationships as a way of understanding their disease. For people unused to expressing their feelings and unaccustomed to recognizing their emotional needs, it is extemely challenging to find the confidence and the words to approach their loved ones both compassionately and assertively. The difficulty is all the greater at the point when they have become more vulnerable and more dependent than ever on others for support. There is no easy answer to this dilemma but leaving it unresolved will continue to create ongoing sources of stress that will, in turn, generate more illness. 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