---
title: "47 Love Like Quotes By Jarod Kintz"
description: "47 Love Like quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Love Like sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9d/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-long-for-your-love-like-the-length-of_1208855.jpg"
---

> [“I long for your love like the length of a midget.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-long-for-your-love-like-the-length-of-a-midget/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9d/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-long-for-your-love-like-the-length-of_1208855.jpg)

> [“We made love like three seasons, but I didn’t fall.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-made-love-like-three-seasons-but-i-didn-t-fall/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce4/jarod-kintz-2_love_we-made-love-like-three-seasons-but-i-di_2168324.jpg)

> [“Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-whoa-actually-it-s-closer-to-woe/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c57/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-whoa-actually-it-s-closer-t_1273667.jpg)

> [“Love is like a banana, and I keep it in my pocket on cold days to warm up my hand.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-banana-and-i-keep-it-in-my-pocket-on-cold-days-to-warm/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f46/jarod-kintz-2_cold-days_love-is-like-a-banana-and-i-keep-it-in-m_1720603.jpg)

> [“Mow the carpet, vacuum the lawn, and make love like war.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/mow-the-carpet-vacuum-the-lawn-and-make-love-like-war/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1f/jarod-kintz-2_love_mow-the-carpet-vacuum-the-lawn-and-make_1092857.jpg)

> [“Love is like a cookie. Maybe I should have ordered crackers with my condom soup.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-cookie-maybe-i-should-have-ordered-crackers-with-my/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb7/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-a-cookie-maybe-i-should-hav_1710596.jpg)

> [“I make love like I make coffee. Tuesdays and Thursdays I offer free refills. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-make-love-like-i-make-coffee-tuesdays-and-thursdays-i-offer-free/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d0/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-make-love-like-i-make-coffee-tuesdays_1570190.jpg)

> [“Love like you owe nothing, and pay in full.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-like-you-owe-nothing-and-pay-in-full/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab0/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-like-you-owe-nothing-and-pay-in-ful_1492598.jpg)

> [“Love, like glue, is a four-letter word that ends in “e,” only much stickier. And I used to eat it as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-like-glue-is-a-four-letter-word-that-ends-in-e-only-much/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b95/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-like-glue-is-a-four-letter-word-tha_1185206.jpg)

> [“I carry your love like a backpack. I only wish your love had a larger cargo capacity, and had zippers instead of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-carry-your-love-like-a-backpack-i-only-wish-your-love-had-a-larger/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-carry-your-love-like-a-backpack-i-only_1133717.jpg)

> [“Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/learning-how-to-love-is-like-learning-how-to-tie-your-shoes-and-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b1/jarod-kintz-2_learning_learning-how-to-love-is-like-learning-ho_63421.jpg)

> [“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/my-love-is-like-the-shape-your-mouth-makes-while-you-whistle-would/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ab/jarod-kintz-2_harmonica_my-love-is-like-the-shape-your-mouth-mak_273129.jpg)

> [“You will know my power when you feel me compress you into a ball and bowl with you. I make love like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/you-will-know-my-power-when-you-feel-me-compress-you-into-a-ball-and/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9f0/jarod-kintz-2_love_you-will-know-my-power-when-you-feel-me_945819.jpg)

> [“I carry on about how much you love me, and I carry on my love like it’s carry-on luggage.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-carry-on-about-how-much-you-love-me-and-i-carry-on-my-love-like-it/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d59/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-carry-on-about-how-much-you-love-me-an_1003292.jpg)

> [“Sometimes I wish I were someone else. Times like those I borrow somebody else’s nametag. I make love like Todd. At least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/sometimes-i-wish-i-were-someone-else-times-like-those-i-borrow/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/jarod-kintz-2_love_sometimes-i-wish-i-were-someone-else-tim_2870897.jpg)

> [“Love is like a buffalo with butterfly wings, and I’m just the humble man in the jetpack trying to shoot it down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-buffalo-with-butterfly-wings-and-i-m-just-the-humble/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/436/jarod-kintz-2_butterfly-wings_love-is-like-a-buffalo-with-butterfly-wi_2183257.jpg)

> [“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a marshmallow as she runs to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/being-in-love-is-like-being-lit-on-fire-and-having-your-loved-one/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/094/jarod-kintz-2_love_being-in-love-is-like-being-lit-on-fire_1109642.jpg)

> [“Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-door-knob-that-i-ve-mistaken-for-a-shower-handle-and-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/373/jarod-kintz-2_crying_love-is-like-a-door-knob-that-i-ve-mista_181699.jpg)

> [“Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-isn-t-stackable-and-interlocking-like-boxes-or-legos-love-is/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b0/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-isn-t-stackable-and-interlocking-li_2716772.jpg)

> [“I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-make-love-like-i-make-lasagna-with-extra-meat/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04b/jarod-kintz-2_food_i-make-love-like-i-make-lasagna-with-ext_3020341.jpg)

> [“If I told you I make love like a rainbow, would you be my leprechaun?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/if-i-told-you-i-make-love-like-a-rainbow-would-you-be-my-leprechaun/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bf/jarod-kintz-2_leprechaun_if-i-told-you-i-make-love-like-a-rainbow_2323598.jpg)

> [“I long for your love like shortness of breath. Somebody get me an inhaler!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-long-for-your-love-like-shortness-of-breath-somebody-get-me-an/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/061/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-long-for-your-love-like-shortness-of-b_2781875.jpg)

> [“I make love like I sing—in a choir, alone in the bathtub.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-make-love-like-i-sing-in-a-choir-alone-in-the-bathtub/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c7/jarod-kintz-2_bathtub_i-make-love-like-i-sing-in-a-choir-alone_126431.jpg)

> [“We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-made-love-like-a-slice-of-french-toast-trying-to-act-like-an/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/469/jarod-kintz-2_french-toast_we-made-love-like-a-slice-of-french-toas_2769580.jpg)

> [“We made love like we didn’t, only more so less.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-made-love-like-we-didn-t-only-more-so-less/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3c/jarod-kintz-2_like_we-made-love-like-we-didn-t-only-more-so_2530979.jpg)

> [“I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-walk-like-i-have-tornadoes-for-legs-let-us-make-love-like-kansas/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/574/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-walk-like-i-have-tornadoes-for-legs-le_461013.jpg)

> [“Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-learning-to-ride-a-midget-which-i-ve-never-done-because/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4cf/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-learning-to-ride-a-midget-w_1857797.jpg)

> [“We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and then again at 3:03. (I have the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-made-love-like-tuesday-at-noon-even-though-it-was-thursday-at-3-00/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/110/jarod-kintz-2_love_we-made-love-like-tuesday-at-noon-even-t_2840302.jpg)

> [“Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-free-lunch-you-won-t-find-any-in-this-life-because-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c3/jarod-kintz-2_free-lunch_love-is-like-a-free-lunch-you-won-t-find_2882399.jpg)

> [“Love is like being featherless in mid flight and not even wondering if you taste like chicken. My love must taste like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-being-featherless-in-mid-flight-and-not-even-wondering/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ef/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-being-featherless-in-mid-fl_921621.jpg)

> [“Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-building-a-wall-with-two-bricks-and-a-ton-of-wind/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-building-a-wall-with-two-br_576513.jpg)

> [“Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those flashlights, but I’m much more romantic.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-portable-lamp-sex-toy-the-world-calls-those/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fc/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-a-portable-lamp-sex-toy-the_348560.jpg)

> [“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never made love again, and I don’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-remember-the-first-time-we-made-love-like-it-was-the-second-time-we/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1c/jarod-kintz-2_first-time_i-remember-the-first-time-we-made-love-l_231627.jpg)

> [“Love is like a unicorn with a rainbow for a horn. What I mean is it’s rare, and you’re lucky if you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-unicorn-with-a-rainbow-for-a-horn-what-i-mean-is-it-s/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/231/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-a-unicorn-with-a-rainbow-fo_1446244.jpg)

> [“Love is like a rolling rock—with wheels. And legs, too! But no breaks or shoes or anal lubrication.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-a-rolling-rock-with-wheels-and-legs-too-but-no-breaks-or/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95c/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-like-a-rolling-rock-with-wheels_730021.jpg)

> [“Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know? I don’t eat breakfast.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-like-breakfast-with-mildred-who-s-mildred-how-the-heck-should/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/147/jarod-kintz-2_breakfast_love-is-like-breakfast-with-mildred-who_380718.jpg)

> [“A love like mine is rare. So is the steak I just sent back to the kitchen. But you’d damn well better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-love-like-mine-is-rare-so-is-the-steak-i-just-sent-back-to-the/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/567/jarod-kintz-2_love_a-love-like-mine-is-rare-so-is-the-steak_771200.jpg)

> [“It's easy to say I love you, but much harder to show it. Be bold. Be in love—and show it. Love is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/it-s-easy-to-say-i-love-you-but-much-harder-to-show-it-be-bold-be-in/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6cb/jarod-kintz-2_love_it-s-easy-to-say-i-love-you-but-much-har_2034077.jpg)

> [“A brick could be used like love. But not my love, because my love is more like a blanket. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-like-love-but-not-my-love-because-my-love-is/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/485/jarod-kintz-2_love_a-brick-could-be-used-like-love-but-not_1004191.jpg)

> [“I make love like a brick could be used as toilet paper. Sure, it’s rough, but I thought you liked that shit. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-make-love-like-a-brick-could-be-used-as-toilet-paper-sure-it-s/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a83/jarod-kintz-2_love_i-make-love-like-a-brick-could-be-used-a_3197594.jpg)

## Other authors on Love Like

## More by Jarod Kintz

> [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

> [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

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                        "text": "“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a marshmallow as she runs to embrace you. But not being in love feels so much worse, possibly like being a tax collector. Actually, nothing compares to the lowliness of a tax collector.\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“Love is like a door knob that I’ve mistaken for a shower handle, and I’m trying to turn up the heat on our relationship, but the handle won’t turn and I’ve got shampoo in my eyes and my wetsuit is dry and I started crying just as the zookeeper asked me to leave.”",
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                        "text": "“Love isn’t stackable and interlocking, like boxes or Legos. Love is like a one-legged man standing on a three-legged chair that is placed on top of a two-legged piano. I should know, because I’m the guy trying to tune that piano, fix that chair, and affix a prosthetic leg to that guy—who happens to be my piano teacher. Mr. Balloonky, you get down from there now!\u2028”",
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                        "text": "“I make love like I make lasagna: with extra meat.”",
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                        "text": "“If I told you I make love like a rainbow, would you be my leprechaun?”",
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                        "text": "“I long for your love like shortness of breath. Somebody get me an inhaler!”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“We made love like a slice of French toast trying to act like an English muffin.”",
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                        "text": "“We made love like we didn’t, only more so less.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I walk like I have tornadoes for legs. Let us make love like Kansas.”",
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                        "text": "“Love is like learning to ride a midget, which I’ve never done because I’m afraid of heights.”",
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                        "text": "“We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and then again at 3:03. (I have the stamina of a water lily).”",
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                        "text": "“Love is like a free lunch. You won’t find any in this life, because I had yours for breakfast.”",
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                        "text": "“Love is like being featherless in mid flight and not even wondering if you taste like chicken. My love must taste like ostrich, because I’m always running from it.”",
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                        "text": "“Love is like building a wall with two bricks and a ton of wind. Obviously you and your lover are bricks.\u2028”",
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