--- title: "17 Looks Quotes By Jack Handey" description: "17 Looks quotes by Jack Handey. Plus more from Jack Handey and more Looks sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e79/jack-handey-829_astronaut_how-come-just-as-the-rocket-is-launching_396531.jpg" --- > [How come, just as the rocket is launching, the astronauts don't also shoot some fireworks out the window? It would make the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/how-come-just-as-the-rocket-is-launching-the-astronauts-don-t-also/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e79/jack-handey-829_astronaut_how-come-just-as-the-rocket-is-launching_396531.jpg) > [Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especially-when-i-look-down-and-see/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/055/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especi_2109.jpg) > [Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach: A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-good-tip-for-when-you-go-to-the-beach-a-sand-dollar-may-look/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d7/jack-handey-829_beach_here-s-a-good-tip-for-when-you-go-to-the_3165568.jpg) > [If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-ever-fall-off-the-sears-tower-just-go-real-limp-because-maybe/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69b/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-you-ever-fall-off-the-sears-tower-jus_1071933.jpg) > [Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-people-don-t-realize-that-large-pieces-of-coral-which-have-been/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b33/jack-handey-829_brown_most-people-don-t-realize-that-large-pie_98450.jpg) > [I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-bet-the-sparrow-looks-at-the-parrot-and-thinks-yes-you-can-talk-but/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/988/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_i-bet-the-sparrow-looks-at-the-parrot-an_2102984.jpg) > [Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/isn-t-it-funny-how-we-ll-look-out-the-window-at-the-moon-and-then-we/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_isn-t-it-funny-how-we-ll-look-out-the-wi_908778.jpg) > [If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-make-ships-in-a-bottle-i-bet-the-thing-that-really-makes-your/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55b/jack-handey-829_bottles_if-you-make-ships-in-a-bottle-i-bet-the_1597727.jpg) > [Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-of-the-time-it-was-probably-real-bad-being-stuck-down-in-a/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/040/jack-handey-829_boys_most-of-the-time-it-was-probably-real-ba_1961255.jpg) > [Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-good-gag-if-you-go-swimming-in-a-swamp-and-when-you-come-out/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a9/jack-handey-829_bigs_here-s-a-good-gag-if-you-go-swimming-in_3032158.jpg) > [Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-i-wish-marta-were-more-loyal-to-me-like-the-other-day-the/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/319/jack-handey-829_car_sometimes-i-wish-marta-were-more-loyal-t_337166.jpg) > [If someone told me it wasn't "fashionable" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-someone-told-me-it-wasn-t-fashionable-to-talk-about-freedom-i/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdf/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-someone-told-me-it-wasn-t-fashionable_2049236.jpg) > [I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-a-good-novel-would-be-where-a-bunch-of-men-on-a-ship-are/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac2/jack-handey-829_aids_i-think-a-good-novel-would-be-where-a-bu_1290169.jpg) > [To us, it might look like just a rag. But to the brave, embattled men of the fort, it was more than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/to-us-it-might-look-like-just-a-rag-but-to-the-brave-embattled-men-of/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/jack-handey-829_brave_to-us-it-might-look-like-just-a-rag-but_1472001.jpg) > [I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist, "You know what will save the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-a-good-scene-in-a-movie-would-be-where-one-scientist-tells/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/jack-handey-829_asylums_i-think-a-good-scene-in-a-movie-would-be_1230770.jpg) > [Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-when-i-reflect-back-on-all-the-beer-i-drink-i-feel-ashamed/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dc/jack-handey-829_ashamed_sometimes-when-i-reflect-back-on-all-the_3133373.jpg) > [If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead-of-carrying-a-six-gun-in-my/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg) ## Other authors on Looks ## More by Jack Handey > [Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-life-seems-like-a-dream-especially-when-i-look-down-and-see/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I think the best Thanksgiving we ever had was one where we didn't even have a turkey. Mom and Dad sat us kids down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-the-best-thanksgiving-we-ever-had-was-one-where-we-didn-t/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/at-first-i-thought-if-i-were-superman-a-perfect-secret-identity-would/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-i-wonder-if-i-m-patriotic-enough-yes-i-want-to-kill-people/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-don-t-understand-people-who-say-life-is-a-mystery-because-what-is/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/it-s-probably-not-a-good-idea-to-be-chewing-on-a-toothpick-if-you-re/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/probably-to-a-shark-about-the-funniest-thing-there-is-is-a-wounded/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-wish-i-lived-back-in-the-old-west-days-because-i-d-save-up-my-money/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/why-do-there-have-to-be-rules-for-everything-it-s-gotten-to-the-point/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-people-don-t-realize-that-large-pieces-of-coral-which-have-been/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve: something that stings you, then laughs at you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-suggestion-for-a-new-animal-if-some-new-ones-get-created-or/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go ice-skating, try not to swing your arms too much, because that really annoys me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-ice-skating-try-not-to-swing-your-arms-too-much-because/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [When you go to a party at somebody's house, don't automatically assume that the drinks are free. Ask, and ask often.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/when-you-go-to-a-party-at-somebody-s-house-don-t-automatically-assume/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/he-was-a-cowboy-mister-and-he-loved-the-land-he-loved-it-so-much-he/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) > [If you were a gladiator in olden days, I bet the inefficiency of how the gladiator fights were organized and scheduled would just drive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-were-a-gladiator-in-olden-days-i-bet-the-inefficiency-of-how/) [Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/jack-handey/#itemlist", "name": "17 Looks Quotes By Jack Handey", "numberOfItems": 17, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "How come, just as the rocket is launching, the astronauts don't also shoot some fireworks out the window? 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"https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/988/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_i-bet-the-sparrow-looks-at-the-parrot-an_2102984.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/988/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_i-bet-the-sparrow-looks-at-the-parrot-an_2102984.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/988/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_i-bet-the-sparrow-looks-at-the-parrot-an_2102984.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I bet the sparrow looks at the parrot and thinks, yes, you can talk, but LISTEN TO YOURSELF!” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a streetlight? Also what's funny is how we do this every night.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/isn-t-it-funny-how-we-ll-look-out-the-window-at-the-moon-and-then-we/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_isn-t-it-funny-how-we-ll-look-out-the-wi_908778.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_isn-t-it-funny-how-we-ll-look-out-the-wi_908778.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_isn-t-it-funny-how-we-ll-look-out-the-wi_908778.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-you-make-ships-in-a-bottle-i-bet-the-thing-that-really-makes-your/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55b/jack-handey-829_bottles_if-you-make-ships-in-a-bottle-i-bet-the_1597727.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55b/jack-handey-829_bottles_if-you-make-ships-in-a-bottle-i-bet-the_1597727.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/55b/jack-handey-829_bottles_if-you-make-ships-in-a-bottle-i-bet-the_1597727.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd look out your little window and think, \"Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in THAT.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/most-of-the-time-it-was-probably-real-bad-being-stuck-down-in-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/040/jack-handey-829_boys_most-of-the-time-it-was-probably-real-ba_1961255.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/040/jack-handey-829_boys_most-of-the-time-it-was-probably-real-ba_1961255.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/040/jack-handey-829_boys_most-of-the-time-it-was-probably-real-ba_1961255.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, \"Hey, has anybody seen my raisins?\" (Because leeches kind of look like big raisins.)", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/here-s-a-good-gag-if-you-go-swimming-in-a-swamp-and-when-you-come-out/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a9/jack-handey-829_bigs_here-s-a-good-gag-if-you-go-swimming-in_3032158.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a9/jack-handey-829_bigs_here-s-a-good-gag-if-you-go-swimming-in_3032158.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a9/jack-handey-829_bigs_here-s-a-good-gag-if-you-go-swimming-in_3032158.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real dirty windshield; so I wrote THIS CAR LOOKS LIKE A FART in the dirt. Later I asked Marta if she thought it was a childish thing to do. She said, \"Well, maybe,\" Man, whose side is she on, anyway?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-i-wish-marta-were-more-loyal-to-me-like-the-other-day-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/319/jack-handey-829_car_sometimes-i-wish-marta-were-more-loyal-t_337166.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/319/jack-handey-829_car_sometimes-i-wish-marta-were-more-loyal-t_337166.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/319/jack-handey-829_car_sometimes-i-wish-marta-were-more-loyal-t_337166.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sometimes I wish Marta were more loyal to me. Like the other day. The car parked next to ours had a real…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If someone told me it wasn't \"fashionable\" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square in the eye and say, \"Okay, YOU TELL ME what's 'fashionable'.\" But he won't. And you know why? Because you can't ask someone what's fashionable in a smart-alecky way like that. You have to be friendly and say, \"By the way, what's fashionable?\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-someone-told-me-it-wasn-t-fashionable-to-talk-about-freedom-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdf/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-someone-told-me-it-wasn-t-fashionable_2049236.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdf/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-someone-told-me-it-wasn-t-fashionable_2049236.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdf/jack-handey-829_deep-thought_if-someone-told-me-it-wasn-t-fashionable_2049236.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If someone told me it wasn't \"fashionable\" to talk about freedom, I think I'd just have to look him square…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-a-good-novel-would-be-where-a-bunch-of-men-on-a-ship-are/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac2/jack-handey-829_aids_i-think-a-good-novel-would-be-where-a-bu_1290169.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac2/jack-handey-829_aids_i-think-a-good-novel-would-be-where-a-bu_1290169.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac2/jack-handey-829_aids_i-think-a-good-novel-would-be-where-a-bu_1290169.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "To us, it might look like just a rag. But to the brave, embattled men of the fort, it was more than that. It was a flag of surrender. And after that, it was torn up and used for shoe-shine rags, so the men would look nice for the surrender.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/to-us-it-might-look-like-just-a-rag-but-to-the-brave-embattled-men-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/jack-handey-829_brave_to-us-it-might-look-like-just-a-rag-but_1472001.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/jack-handey-829_brave_to-us-it-might-look-like-just-a-rag-but_1472001.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/jack-handey-829_brave_to-us-it-might-look-like-just-a-rag-but_1472001.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“To us, it might look like just a rag. But to the brave, embattled men of the fort, it was more than that. It…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist, \"You know what will save the world? You're holding it in your hand.\" And the other scientist looks, and in his hand are peanuts. Then when he looks up, the first scientist is being taken away to the insane asylum.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/i-think-a-good-scene-in-a-movie-would-be-where-one-scientist-tells/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/jack-handey-829_asylums_i-think-a-good-scene-in-a-movie-would-be_1230770.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/jack-handey-829_asylums_i-think-a-good-scene-in-a-movie-would-be_1230770.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/jack-handey-829_asylums_i-think-a-good-scene-in-a-movie-would-be_1230770.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells another scientist, \"You know what will…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/sometimes-when-i-reflect-back-on-all-the-beer-i-drink-i-feel-ashamed/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dc/jack-handey-829_ashamed_sometimes-when-i-reflect-back-on-all-the_3133373.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dc/jack-handey-829_ashamed_sometimes-when-i-reflect-back-on-all-the_3133373.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1dc/jack-handey-829_ashamed_sometimes-when-i-reflect-back-on-all-the_3133373.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That was if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like, \"Hey look. He's carrying a soldering iron!\" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, \"That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.\" Then everyone would get real quiet and ashamed, because they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jack Handey" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead-of-carrying-a-six-gun-in-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86d/jack-handey-829_ashamed_if-i-lived-in-the-wild-west-days-instead_842438.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If I lived in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron…” — Jack Handey", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/jack-handey/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/jack-handey/", "name": "Looks Quotes by Jack Handey", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/jack-handey/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e79/jack-handey-829_astronaut_how-come-just-as-the-rocket-is-launching_396531.jpg" }, "description": "17 Looks quotes by Jack Handey. 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