---
title: "28 Looks Quotes By Demetri Martin"
description: "28 Looks quotes by Demetri Martin. Plus more from Demetri Martin and more Looks sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bc/demetri-martin-511_dark_i-wear-dark-sunglasses-when-i-want-my-he_2350717.jpg"
---

> [I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-wear-dark-sunglasses-when-i-want-my-head-to-look-more-like-a/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bc/demetri-martin-511_dark_i-wear-dark-sunglasses-when-i-want-my-he_2350717.jpg)

> [To make a squirrel look less uptight, put tiny sunglasses on it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/to-make-a-squirrel-look-less-uptight-put-tiny-sunglasses-on-it/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd6/demetri-martin-511_looks_to-make-a-squirrel-look-less-uptight-put_1408487.jpg)

> [A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-lot-of-things-look-cooler-in-slow-motion-eating-isn-t-one-of-them/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/588/demetri-martin-511_eating_a-lot-of-things-look-cooler-in-slow-moti_2703683.jpg)

> [How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/how-fast-does-a-zebra-have-to-run-before-it-looks-gray/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/776/demetri-martin-511_doe_how-fast-does-a-zebra-have-to-run-before_56227.jpg)

> [Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/dogs-seem-more-photogenic-than-cats-in-photos-most-cats-look-like/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/536/demetri-martin-511_cat_dogs-seem-more-photogenic-than-cats-in-p_527909.jpg)

> [Sometimes it looks like I'm dancing, but it's just that I walked into a spider web.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/sometimes-it-looks-like-i-m-dancing-but-it-s-just-that-i-walked-into/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/demetri-martin-511_dance_sometimes-it-looks-like-i-m-dancing-but_326685.jpg)

> [A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-human-head-looks-the-least-scary-when-it-is-attached/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d7/demetri-martin-511_head_a-human-head-looks-the-least-scary-when_2402419.jpg)

> [When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/when-i-am-holding-a-water-balloon-so-many-things-look-so/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/387/demetri-martin-511_balloons_when-i-am-holding-a-water-balloon-so-man_297255.jpg)

> [To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/to-look-like-you-are-a-real-sports-fan-when-there-is-a-game-on-tv/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cac/demetri-martin-511_fans_to-look-like-you-are-a-real-sports-fan-w_189977.jpg)

> [There are two kinds of jackets - reversible, and reversible but it's hard to zipper up and it looks really stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/there-are-two-kinds-of-jackets-reversible-and-reversible-but-it-s/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d59/demetri-martin-511_fashion_there-are-two-kinds-of-jackets-reversibl_2426156.jpg)

> [I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh\*t all over them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-statues-are-great-they-show-what-great-people-would-look-like/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e1/demetri-martin-511_bird_i-think-statues-are-great-they-show-what_1301972.jpg)

> [A straw enables you to drink without using your wrist. A straw is your friend - until you lose eye contact with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-straw-enables-you-to-drink-without-using-your-wrist-a-straw-is-your/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2aa/demetri-martin-511_betray_a-straw-enables-you-to-drink-without-usi_2280493.jpg)

> [A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-pipe-is-greater-than-a-bong-because-when-you-re-smoking-a-pipe-at/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/888/demetri-martin-511_bongs_a-pipe-is-greater-than-a-bong-because-wh_925981.jpg)

> [The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/the-chances-of-someone-who-looks-like-jesus-having-pot-raises/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d9/demetri-martin-511_chance_the-chances-of-someone-who-looks-like-je_466472.jpg)

> [I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-hate-seeing-people-that-look-like-you-especially-if-god-s-living-by/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/515/demetri-martin-511_firsts_i-hate-seeing-people-that-look-like-you_3037578.jpg)

> [Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/use-crazy-glue-and-nails-to-turn-a-rocking-chair-into-just-a-chair/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd0/demetri-martin-511_chairs_use-crazy-glue-and-nails-to-turn-a-rocki_542528.jpg)

> [I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-it-would-be-cool-if-you-were-writing-a-ransom-note-on-your/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/demetri-martin-511_being-cool_i-think-it-would-be-cool-if-you-were-wri_2453369.jpg)

> [When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/when-a-dalmatian-sees-a-cow-he-must-be-like-what-the-hell-happened-to/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/659/demetri-martin-511_cows_when-a-dalmatian-sees-a-cow-he-must-be-l_2620305.jpg)

> [I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-want-to-get-the-joke-to-work-without-having-to-put-any-words-or-to/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b60/demetri-martin-511_brain_i-want-to-get-the-joke-to-work-without-h_1519706.jpg)

> [Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but..." I say,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/sometimes-if-i-really-want-to-get-someone-s-attention-i-ll-start-a/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7eb/demetri-martin-511_attention_sometimes-if-i-really-want-to-get-someon_1226330.jpg)

> [How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/how-many-of-you-are-creative-i-don-t-know-but-for-me-when-you-make-a/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea3/demetri-martin-511_audience_how-many-of-you-are-creative-i-don-t-kno_1332612.jpg)

> [A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-cool-tattoo-design-is-any-drawing-that-would-also-look-good-saggy/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/660/demetri-martin-511_design_a-cool-tattoo-design-is-any-drawing-that_449933.jpg)

> [A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-parade-looks-like-a-bunch-of-people-are-excited-about-being-in/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c93/demetri-martin-511_bunch_a-parade-looks-like-a-bunch-of-people-ar_1148534.jpg)

> [Once I started to look i finally began to see.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/once-i-started-to-look-i-finally-began-to-see/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fd/demetri-martin-511_finally_once-i-started-to-look-i-finally-began-t_445302.jpg)

> [History, like wallpaper, repeats itself and can also make a room look old-fashioned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/history-like-wallpaper-repeats-itself-and-can-also-make-a-room-look/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2cd/demetri-martin-511_history_history-like-wallpaper-repeats-itself-an_2198834.jpg)

> [If you have a lip ring try hanging some tiny keys from it. This will make you look even more interesting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/if-you-have-a-lip-ring-try-hanging-some-tiny-keys-from-it-this-will/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1c/demetri-martin-511_ifs_if-you-have-a-lip-ring-try-hanging-some_1194112.jpg)

> [I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-wonder-if-there-were-any-goths-in-gothic-times-they-re-like-you/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e3e/demetri-martin-511_appropriate_i-wonder-if-there-were-any-goths-in-goth_2211014.jpg)

> [When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/when-i-look-up-at-the-clouds-i-see-so-many-animals-mostly-sheep-who/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ad/demetri-martin-511_animal_when-i-look-up-at-the-clouds-i-see-so-ma_2604102.jpg)

## Other authors on Looks

## More by Demetri Martin

> [I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-hair-gel-was-invented-to-make-it-easier-to-identify-assholes/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/tic-tacs-are-the-maracas-of-breath-mints/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/when-someone-describes-themself-as-a-taxpayer-they-re-about-to-be-an/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [I think they named the orange before the carrot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-they-named-the-orange-before-the-carrot/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-like-to-go-to-concerts-because-i-love-to-see-my-favorite-band/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/how-fast-does-a-zebra-have-to-run-before-it-looks-gray/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/skiing-is-my-favorite-sport-because-that-s-the-only-sport-that-is/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-know-about-woodstock-probably-as-much-as-your-average-person-who-is/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/never-be-less-interesting-than-your-refrigerator-magnets/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-bought-a-cactus-a-week-later-it-died-and-i-got-depressed-because-i/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-wednesday-with-no-rain-is-a-dry-hump-day/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/thing-to-try-if-you-are-asked-to-describe-a-suspect-to-a-police/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/if-you-happen-to-catch-on-fire-during-the-show-do-not-panic-or-wave/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/they-say-that-structure-is-freedom-and-in-a-sense-it-is-when-you-re/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

> [I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-my-favorite-sound-is-the-sound-of-someone-not-playing-the/)

[Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/)

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                        "text": "When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.",
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                        "text": "To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.",
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                        "text": "There are two kinds of jackets - reversible, and reversible but it's hard to zipper up and it looks really stupid.",
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                        "text": "I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.",
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                        "text": "A straw enables you to drink without using your wrist. A straw is your friend - until you lose eye contact with the straw. Then it will betray you and make you look like an idiot.",
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                        "text": "A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.",
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                        "text": "The chances of someone who looks like Jesus having pot raises steadily, to a point. If the guy is on a cross you may have the wrong guy.",
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                        "text": "I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.",
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                        "text": "I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'",
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                        "text": "When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.",
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                        "text": "I want to get the joke to work without having to put any words or to say anything. I just want the person to look at it, and quietly in their brain, they can just put it together and say, \"Cool, that one works\".",
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                        "text": "Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, \"I'm not racist, but...\" I say, \"I'm not racist, but you look great today.\" They say, \"That wasn't racist at all.\" I said, \"I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican.\"",
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                        "text": "A parade looks like a bunch of people are excited about being in traffic.",
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                        "text": "Once I started to look i finally began to see.",
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                        "text": "I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.",
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                        "text": "When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.",
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