---
title: "22 Looks Quotes By David Sedaris"
description: "22 Looks quotes by David Sedaris. Plus more from David Sedaris and more Looks sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f75/david-sedaris-333_looks_everyone-looks-retarded-once-you-set-you_2681180.png"
---

> [Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/everyone-looks-retarded-once-you-set-your-mind-to-it/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f75/david-sedaris-333_looks_everyone-looks-retarded-once-you-set-you_2681180.png)

> [Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/given-enough-time-i-guess-anything-can-look-good-all-it-has-to-do-is/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/816/david-sedaris-333_enough_given-enough-time-i-guess-anything-can-l_2257178.png)

> [In books and movies infidelity always looks so compelling, so right. Here are people who defy petty convention and are rewarded with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/in-books-and-movies-infidelity-always-looks-so-compelling-so-right/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/71f/david-sedaris-333_betrayal_in-books-and-movies-infidelity-always-lo_1307845.png)

> [When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/when-i-look-at-a-lot-of-older-stuff-that-i-ve-written-i-think-one/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/053/david-sedaris-333_hard_when-i-look-at-a-lot-of-older-stuff-that_2359795.png)

> [A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/a-zoo-is-a-good-place-to-make-a-spectacle-of-yourself-as-the-people/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/855/david-sedaris-333_animal_a-zoo-is-a-good-place-to-make-a-spectacl_1978272.png)

> [My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there's a short in the system and I break out over things I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-conscience-is-crosswired-with-my-sweat-glands-but-there-s-a-short/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/045/david-sedaris-333_break_my-conscience-is-crosswired-with-my-swea_3011619.jpg)

> [Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/speed-eliminates-all-doubt-am-i-smart-enough-will-people-like-me-do-i/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/020/david-sedaris-333_doubt_speed-eliminates-all-doubt-am-i-smart-en_195973.png)

> [“What looks good now is guaranteed to embarrass you twenty years down the line, which is, of course, the whole problem with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/what-looks-good-now-is-guaranteed-to-embarrass-you-twenty-years-down/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/539/david-sedaris-333_embarrass_what-looks-good-now-is-guaranteed-to-emb_1185865.png)

> [At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/at-the-end-of-a-miserable-day-instead-of-grieving-my-virtual-nothing/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d77/david-sedaris-333_baskets_at-the-end-of-a-miserable-day-instead-of_854649.png)

> [People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful that is, how it twists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/people-discuss-their-relationships-all-the-time-but-you-can-t-i-don-t/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/244/david-sedaris-333_believe_people-discuss-their-relationships-all-t_2948795.jpg)

> [I would start by writing to an adult, maybe a high school teacher, or maybe an aunt or uncle, and writing and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-would-start-by-writing-to-an-adult-maybe-a-high-school-teacher-or/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f54/david-sedaris-333_adults_i-would-start-by-writing-to-an-adult-may_3108262.png)

> [Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Dracula rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/like-any-normal-fifth-grader-i-preferred-my-villains-to-be-evil-and/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/580/david-sedaris-333_drowning_like-any-normal-fifth-grader-i-preferred_662627.png)

> [The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-trouble-with-aggressive-nonsmokers-is-that-they-feel-they-are/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/533/david-sedaris-333_aggressive_the-trouble-with-aggressive-nonsmokers-i_2092513.png)

> [It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-was-my-friend-frank-a-writer-in-san-francisco-who-finally-set-me/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d70/david-sedaris-333_bow-tie_it-was-my-friend-frank-a-writer-in-san-f_1071146.png)

> [Amy adored both the new look and the new person it allowed her to be. Following the photo shoot, she wore her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/amy-adored-both-the-new-look-and-the-new-person-it-allowed-her-to-be/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/707/david-sedaris-333_amy_amy-adored-both-the-new-look-and-the-new_2693923.png)

> [It was the look you get when facing a sudden and insurmountable danger: the errant truck, the shaky ladder, the crazy person…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-was-the-look-you-get-when-facing-a-sudden-and-insurmountable/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/158/david-sedaris-333_and-love_it-was-the-look-you-get-when-facing-a-su_2930384.png)

> [I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-think-if-you-write-humor-then-people-don-t-you-know-they-don-t-give/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/david-sedaris-333_comedy_i-think-if-you-write-humor-then-people-d_1986545.png)

> [In order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/in-order-to-get-the-things-i-want-it-helps-me-to-pretend-i-m-a-figure/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58b/david-sedaris-333_balls_in-order-to-get-the-things-i-want-it-hel_1384546.jpg)

> [Of course, the diary helps me as well. 'That wasn't your position on July 7, 1991,' I'll remind Hugh an hour after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/of-course-the-diary-helps-me-as-well-that-wasn-t-your-position-on/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b26/david-sedaris-333_diaries_of-course-the-diary-helps-me-as-well-tha_1640336.jpg)

> [All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but I started…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a-large-audience-they-think/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b22/david-sedaris-333_audience_all-of-a-sudden-when-you-re-exposed-to-a_2621856.png)

> [Einstein wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That said, is it crazier…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/einstein-wrote-that-insanity-is-doing-the-same-thing-over-and-over/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e94/david-sedaris-333_believe_einstein-wrote-that-insanity-is-doing-th_1852569.jpg)

> [Like anyone nostalgic for a time he didn't live through, I chose to weed out the little inconveniences: polio, say, or the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/like-anyone-nostalgic-for-a-time-he-didn-t-live-through-i-chose-to/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51f/david-sedaris-333_civilized_like-anyone-nostalgic-for-a-time-he-didn_1716609.png)

## Other authors on Looks

## More by David Sedaris

> [“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/plenty-of-animals-had-pets-but-few-were-more-devoted-than-the-mouse/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/never-fall-asleep-in-a-dumpster-never-underestimate-a-bee-never-drive/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-was-a-father-one-hand-resting-teapot-style-on-his-hip-and-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/a-japanese-woman-we-d-met-in-paris-came-to-the-apartment-yesterday/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/one-thing-i-like-about-the-united-states-and-i-kind-of-miss-about-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/when-you-read-comic-material-and-people-aren-t-laughing-how-do-you/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-have-how-many-children-in-your-family-the-teacher-would-ask-i-m/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/like-most-seasoned-phonies-i-roundly-suspect-that-everyone-is-as/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/as-a-child-i-assumed-that-when-i-reached-adulthood-i-would-have-grown/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-just-take-and-take-don-t-you-out-there-with-your-thumb-in-the-air/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/in-other-parts-of-the-country-people-tried-to-stay-together-for-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-years-ago-i-ll-admit-it-does/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-spent-months-searching-for-some-secret-code-before-i-realized-that/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-hated-leaving-a-hole-in-the-smoking-world-and-so-i-recruited/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/write-relentlessly-until-you-find-your-voice-then-use-it/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

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                        "text": "Speed eliminates all doubt. Am I smart enough? Will people like me? Do I really look all right in this plastic jumpsuit?",
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                        "text": "“What looks good now is guaranteed to embarrass you twenty years down the line, which is, of course, the whole problem with fashion.”",
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                        "text": "At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded wastepaper basket and tell myself that if I failed, at least I took a few trees down with me.",
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                        "text": "People discuss their relationships all the time, but you can't. I don't think people realize how harmful that is, how it twists you up to hide who you are. It's not healthy, and the great gains that homosexuals have made in my lifetime, I think that we'll look back in twenty or thirty years and say, \"I can't believe we ever made them go through that.\"",
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                        "text": "I would start by writing to an adult, maybe a high school teacher, or maybe an aunt or uncle, and writing and telling them why you want to go to a particular university. That's probably what you would actually sound like. Then write your letter to the university, and put those 2 versions in front of you, and look at the difference between those 2 things.",
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                        "text": "Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Dracula rather than Frankenstein's monster, who ruined everything by handing that peasant girl a flower. He sort of made up for it by drowning her a few minutes later, but, still, you couldn't look at him the same way again.",
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                        "text": "The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They seem to think that one day you'll look back and thank them for those precious fifteen seconds they just added to your life. What they don't understand is that those are just fifteen more seconds you can spend hating their guts and plotting revenge.",
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                        "text": "It was my friend Frank, a writer in San Francisco, who finally set me straight. When asked about my new look he put down his fork and stared at me for a few moments. \"A bow tie announces to the world you can no longer get an erection.",
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                        "text": "Amy adored both the new look and the new person it allowed her to be. Following the photo shoot, she wore her bruises to the dry cleaner and the grocery store. Most people nervously looked away, but on the rare occasions someone would ask what happened, my sister would smile as brightly as possible, saying, 'I'm in love. Can you believe it? I'm finally, totally in love, and I feel great.",
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                        "text": "It was the look you get when facing a sudden and insurmountable danger: the errant truck, the shaky ladder, the crazy person who pins you to the linoleum and insists, with increasing urgency, that everything you know and love can be undone by a grape.",
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                        "text": "I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend to think you just dictate your stories into a tape recorder. And I'm not necessarily insulted by that, because I think that just means that it looks easy.",
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                        "text": "In order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and state their goals out loud. ‘I will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,’ they say. ‘Phoebe Wallingford will pay for what she’s done to our family.’ Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder, I turned to look in the direction of Hugh’s loft. ‘You will be mine,’ I commanded.",
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                        "text": "Of course, the diary helps me as well. 'That wasn't your position on July 7, 1991,' I'll remind Hugh an hour after we've had a fight. I'd have loved to rebut him sooner, but it takes awhile to look these things up.",
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                        "text": "All of a sudden, when you're exposed to a large audience, they think you just started writing that day, but I started years before. I look back at things I wrote then and I'm so embarrassed - the writing seems so blocky and choppy to me and I wouldn't have wanted success any sooner because the writing was even worse.",
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                        "text": "Einstein wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That said, is it crazier to repeatedly throw yourself against a window, or to repeatedly open that window, believing the creatures that are throwing themselves against it might come into your house, take a look around, and leave with no hard feelings?",
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