--- title: "19 Looks Quotes By Dana Gould" description: "19 Looks quotes by Dana Gould. Plus more from Dana Gould and more Looks sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/dana-gould-1290_airplane_in-an-effort-to-look-cool-i-am-going-to_2946134.png" --- > [In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/in-an-effort-to-look-cool-i-am-going-to-stop-shouting-hey-you-at/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/dana-gould-1290_airplane_in-an-effort-to-look-cool-i-am-going-to_2946134.png) > [One of the coolest things about the word boobs is, when you look at it, it has boobs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/one-of-the-coolest-things-about-the-word-boobs-is-when-you-look-at-it/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c9/dana-gould-1290_boobs_one-of-the-coolest-things-about-the-word_1495696.png) > [I try to look on the bright side, but it really hurts my eyes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-try-to-look-on-the-bright-side-but-it-really-hurts-my-eyes/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/dana-gould-1290_bright-side_i-try-to-look-on-the-bright-side-but-it_880229.png) > [The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/the-older-i-get-the-more-i-look-like-my-favorite-shoes/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1d/dana-gould-1290_looks_the-older-i-get-the-more-i-look-like-my_14749.png) > [Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/have-you-noticed-since-global-warming-took-hold-that-all-the-snowmen/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/073/dana-gould-1290_angry_have-you-noticed-since-global-warming-to_1022747.png) > [If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-you-want-to-see-what-i-ll-look-like-as-an-old-guy-check-out-any/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/722/dana-gould-1290_checks_if-you-want-to-see-what-i-ll-look-like-a_2349647.png) > [Our dog just wanders around the house with a concerned look on his face. Dogs are just people who can't find their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/our-dog-just-wanders-around-the-house-with-a-concerned-look-on-his/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b1a/dana-gould-1290_animal_our-dog-just-wanders-around-the-house-wi_2174671.png) > [Today I saw a guy who looked like me in a funhouse mirror. He looked at me like, Hey, that's how I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/today-i-saw-a-guy-who-looked-like-me-in-a-funhouse-mirror-he-looked/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b2/dana-gould-1290_guy_today-i-saw-a-guy-who-looked-like-me-in_1868688.png) > [When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/when-all-the-people-covered-in-tattoos-turn-about-70-years-old-they/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e48/dana-gould-1290_clown_when-all-the-people-covered-in-tattoos-t_1696373.png) > [I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-have-no-ability-to-develop-muscle-tone-i-could-do-situps-all-day/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/15b/dana-gould-1290_ability_i-have-no-ability-to-develop-muscle-tone_1703160.png) > [Many stroke survivors look back on their attack as a stroke of luck. Of course, by luck they mean horrible paralysis.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/many-stroke-survivors-look-back-on-their-attack-as-a-stroke-of-luck/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/dana-gould-1290_courses_many-stroke-survivors-look-back-on-their_2796543.png) > [If you gave a bag of potato chips to the guy who invented Pringles, he'd look at you like you were trying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-you-gave-a-bag-of-potato-chips-to-the-guy-who-invented-pringles-he/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd1/dana-gould-1290_abortion_if-you-gave-a-bag-of-potato-chips-to-the_2031386.png) > [If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-abe-lincoln-took-part-in-the-republican-debates-he-would-look-out/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3df/dana-gould-1290_abe_if-abe-lincoln-took-part-in-the-republic_1391461.png) > [To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/to-really-make-it-look-like-santa-came-i-put-reindeer-poop-on-the/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4be/dana-gould-1290_christmas_to-really-make-it-look-like-santa-came-i_327564.png) > [Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/why-did-i-adopt-kids-i-dunno-let-me-look-at-my-family-religious/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/dana-gould-1290_adopted_why-did-i-adopt-kids-i-dunno-let-me-look_1527555.png) > [Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger-and-it-would-make-perfect/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e4/dana-gould-1290_band_women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger_1984052.jpg) > [Have you ever had a gay friend lose weight and you can't decide if it's good news or not? Hey you look...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/have-you-ever-had-a-gay-friend-lose-weight-and-you-can-t-decide-if-it/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da0/dana-gould-1290_friendship_have-you-ever-had-a-gay-friend-lose-weig_382206.png) > [I bet when all the punctuation marks have a party, they quietly look at exclamation point's wife and think, that poor woman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-bet-when-all-the-punctuation-marks-have-a-party-they-quietly-look/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22b/dana-gould-1290_exclamation_i-bet-when-all-the-punctuation-marks-hav_2930494.png) > [Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/unshaven-dudes-in-hoodies-and-ski-caps-look-so-hip-and-cool-until/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/207/dana-gould-1290_caps_unshaven-dudes-in-hoodies-and-ski-caps-l_2774145.png) ## Other authors on Looks ## More by Dana Gould > [As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/as-hard-as-i-try-to-live-with-some-degree-of-faith-in-my-life-i-just/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/the-older-i-get-the-more-i-look-like-my-favorite-shoes/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/somewhere-there-s-someone-who-s-masturbation-ritual-ends-with-them/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-feel-very-uncomfortable-when-i-eat-in-restaurants-i-m-obnoxiously/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/cowboy-boots-with-a-suit-you-re-a-rough-tough-businessman-chaps-with/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/despite-a-primitive-brain-the-octopus-possesses-an-intricate-system/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-got-mugged-about-six-months-ago-the-oddest-thing-about-the-entire/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-m-the-forrest-gump-of-comedy/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/it-s-gonna-be-awesome-a-suspected-pedophile-dunks-my-kids-head-in-a/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-i-ever-go-into-a-coma-one-of-you-has-to-promise-to-come-by/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/they-say-that-god-is-in-the-details-then-again-they-also-say-that-the/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-have-one-phobia-snakes-and-by-snakes-i-mean-intimacy/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [My whole approach to marriage is simple: my wife will do something that drives me insane, I won't say anything, and then, later, I'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/my-whole-approach-to-marriage-is-simple-my-wife-will-do-something/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/wrote-a-science-fiction-novel-about-a-man-who-wins-an-argument-with/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-life-begins-at-conception-but-you-can-be-born-again-later-only-to/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/looks/dana-gould/#itemlist", "name": "19 Looks Quotes By Dana Gould", "numberOfItems": 19, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In an effort to look cool, I am going to stop shouting Hey, you! at airplanes.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/in-an-effort-to-look-cool-i-am-going-to-stop-shouting-hey-you-at/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/dana-gould-1290_airplane_in-an-effort-to-look-cool-i-am-going-to_2946134.png", "contentUrl": 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He looked at me like, Hey, that's how I look reflected in the pond!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/today-i-saw-a-guy-who-looked-like-me-in-a-funhouse-mirror-he-looked/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b2/dana-gould-1290_guy_today-i-saw-a-guy-who-looked-like-me-in_1868688.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b2/dana-gould-1290_guy_today-i-saw-a-guy-who-looked-like-me-in_1868688.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b2/dana-gould-1290_guy_today-i-saw-a-guy-who-looked-like-me-in_1868688.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Today I saw a guy who looked like me in a funhouse mirror. 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I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-have-no-ability-to-develop-muscle-tone-i-could-do-situps-all-day/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/15b/dana-gould-1290_ability_i-have-no-ability-to-develop-muscle-tone_1703160.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/15b/dana-gould-1290_ability_i-have-no-ability-to-develop-muscle-tone_1703160.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/15b/dana-gould-1290_ability_i-have-no-ability-to-develop-muscle-tone_1703160.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have no ability to develop muscle tone. 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Of course, by luck they mean horrible paralysis.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/many-stroke-survivors-look-back-on-their-attack-as-a-stroke-of-luck/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/dana-gould-1290_courses_many-stroke-survivors-look-back-on-their_2796543.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/dana-gould-1290_courses_many-stroke-survivors-look-back-on-their_2796543.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f47/dana-gould-1290_courses_many-stroke-survivors-look-back-on-their_2796543.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Many stroke survivors look back on their attack as a stroke of luck. Of course, by luck they mean horrible…” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you gave a bag of potato chips to the guy who invented Pringles, he'd look at you like you were trying to hand him an abortion.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-you-gave-a-bag-of-potato-chips-to-the-guy-who-invented-pringles-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd1/dana-gould-1290_abortion_if-you-gave-a-bag-of-potato-chips-to-the_2031386.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd1/dana-gould-1290_abortion_if-you-gave-a-bag-of-potato-chips-to-the_2031386.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd1/dana-gould-1290_abortion_if-you-gave-a-bag-of-potato-chips-to-the_2031386.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you gave a bag of potato chips to the guy who invented Pringles, he'd look at you like you were trying to…” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence, compassion and gaping head wound.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-abe-lincoln-took-part-in-the-republican-debates-he-would-look-out/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3df/dana-gould-1290_abe_if-abe-lincoln-took-part-in-the-republic_1391461.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3df/dana-gould-1290_abe_if-abe-lincoln-took-part-in-the-republic_1391461.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3df/dana-gould-1290_abe_if-abe-lincoln-took-part-in-the-republic_1391461.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If Abe Lincoln took part in the Republican debates, he would look out of place with his intelligence…” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/to-really-make-it-look-like-santa-came-i-put-reindeer-poop-on-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4be/dana-gould-1290_christmas_to-really-make-it-look-like-santa-came-i_327564.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4be/dana-gould-1290_christmas_to-really-make-it-look-like-santa-came-i_327564.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4be/dana-gould-1290_christmas_to-really-make-it-look-like-santa-came-i_327564.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my…” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. Let me look at my family: religious weirdo, gun nut, biker, boozer, dead tooth, too many cats, the guy who talks to his truck. Hmm. Maybe I adopted because genetically my balls are full of poison.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/why-did-i-adopt-kids-i-dunno-let-me-look-at-my-family-religious/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/dana-gould-1290_adopted_why-did-i-adopt-kids-i-dunno-let-me-look_1527555.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/dana-gould-1290_adopted_why-did-i-adopt-kids-i-dunno-let-me-look_1527555.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80b/dana-gould-1290_adopted_why-did-i-adopt-kids-i-dunno-let-me-look_1527555.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Why did I adopt kids? I dunno. 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No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger-and-it-would-make-perfect/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e4/dana-gould-1290_band_women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger_1984052.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e4/dana-gould-1290_band_women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger_1984052.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e4/dana-gould-1290_band_women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger_1984052.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out…” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Have you ever had a gay friend lose weight and you can't decide if it's good news or not? Hey you look... great?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/have-you-ever-had-a-gay-friend-lose-weight-and-you-can-t-decide-if-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da0/dana-gould-1290_friendship_have-you-ever-had-a-gay-friend-lose-weig_382206.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da0/dana-gould-1290_friendship_have-you-ever-had-a-gay-friend-lose-weig_382206.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da0/dana-gould-1290_friendship_have-you-ever-had-a-gay-friend-lose-weig_382206.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Have you ever had a gay friend lose weight and you can't decide if it's good news or not? 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