--- title: "13 Long time Quotes By George Carlin" description: "13 Long time quotes by George Carlin. Plus more from George Carlin and more Long time sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46c/george-carlin-155_feels_have-you-noticed-when-you-wear-a-hat-for_2149678.jpg" --- > [Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? And then when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/have-you-noticed-when-you-wear-a-hat-for-a-long-time-it-feels-like-it/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46c/george-carlin-155_feels_have-you-noticed-when-you-wear-a-hat-for_2149678.jpg) > [There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/there-s-this-man-who-lives-in-the-sky-and-he-has-ten-things-he-doesn/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/525/george-carlin-155_burn_there-s-this-man-who-lives-in-the-sky-an_3110849.jpg) > [Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/republicans-have-been-trying-to-get-people-to-work-for-no-pay-for-a/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21e/george-carlin-155_democracy_republicans-have-been-trying-to-get-peop_163591.jpg) > [I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-ve-been-a-performer-for-a-long-time-and-i-know-when-people-are/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/615/george-carlin-155_guts_i-ve-been-a-performer-for-a-long-time-an_1855953.jpg) > [Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/have-you-ever-wondered-why-republicans-are-so-interested-in/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/44f/george-carlin-155_community_have-you-ever-wondered-why-republicans-a_1140505.jpg) > [You have to be realistic about terrorism. Certain groups of people, certain groups, Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-have-to-be-realistic-about-terrorism-certain-groups-of-people/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/george-carlin-155_certain_you-have-to-be-realistic-about-terrorism_1117418.jpg) > [For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/for-a-long-time-i-ve-distinguished-between-entertainer-and-performer/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/george-carlin-155_art_for-a-long-time-i-ve-distinguished-betwe_945165.jpg) > [I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-sort-of-gave-up-on-this-whole-human-adventure-a-long-time-ago/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86c/george-carlin-155_adventure_i-sort-of-gave-up-on-this-whole-human-ad_78453.jpg) > [“I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-figured-out-years-ago-that-the-human-species-is-totally-fucked-and/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/edc/george-carlin-155_long-time_i-figured-out-years-ago-that-the-human-s_1106768.jpg) > [The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god - that there's a man in the sky with 10 things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-two-big-mistakes-were-the-belief-in-a-sky-god-that-there-s-a-man/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/george-carlin-155_atheism_the-two-big-mistakes-were-the-belief-in_2206982.jpg) > [“The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-planet-will-be-here-for-a-long-long-long-time-after-we-re-gone/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/george-carlin-155_first-place_the-planet-will-be-here-for-a-long-long_576780.jpg) > [“Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/something-is-wrong-here-war-disease-death-destruction-hunger-filth/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10d/george-carlin-155_atheism_something-is-wrong-here-war-disease-deat_2884886.jpg) > [“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/we-re-so-self-important-everybody-s-going-to-save-something-now-save/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/george-carlin-155_comedy_we-re-so-self-important-everybody-s-goin_1686182.jpg) ## Other authors on Long time ## More by George Carlin > [I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-never-go-anywhere-or-do-anything-that-transports-me-outside-the/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/with-the-proper-training-i-could-ve-been-an-evil-genius/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/comedy-although-it-is-not-one-of-the-fine-arts-it-s-a-vulgar-art-it-s/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-m-completely-in-favor-of-the-separation-of-church-and-state-these/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/tomorrow-is-another-day-not-true-today-is-another-day-we-have-no-idea/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-was-a-loner-as-a-child-i-had-an-imaginary-friend-i-didn-t-bother/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/kilometers-are-shorter-than-miles-save-gas-take-your-next-trip-in/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/if-you-guys-want-to-get-a-mom-tattoo-and-save-a-little-money-just-get/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-ve-built-up-so-much-speed-that-you-hit-70-after-that-it-s-a-day/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/it-ended-suddenly-for-brenda-more-slowly-for-me-my-runs-began-getting/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [Is there another word for synonym?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/is-there-another-word-for-synonym/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-whole-idea-of-the-pursuit-of-goods-and-possessions-has-completely/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/these-days-many-politicians-are-demanding-change-just-like-homeless/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-know-the-good-part-about-all-those-executions-in-texas-fewer/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [What was the best thing before sliced bread?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/what-was-the-best-thing-before-sliced-bread/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-time/george-carlin/#itemlist", "name": "13 Long time Quotes By George Carlin", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? 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Certain groups of people, certain groups, Muslim fundamentalists, Christian fundamentalists, Jewish fundamentalists, and just plain guys from Montana, are going to continue to make life in this country very interesting for a long, long time.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/you-have-to-be-realistic-about-terrorism-certain-groups-of-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/george-carlin-155_certain_you-have-to-be-realistic-about-terrorism_1117418.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/george-carlin-155_certain_you-have-to-be-realistic-about-terrorism_1117418.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e0/george-carlin-155_certain_you-have-to-be-realistic-about-terrorism_1117418.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You have to be realistic about terrorism. 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To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/for-a-long-time-i-ve-distinguished-between-entertainer-and-performer/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/george-carlin-155_art_for-a-long-time-i-ve-distinguished-betwe_945165.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/george-carlin-155_art_for-a-long-time-i-ve-distinguished-betwe_945165.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27f/george-carlin-155_art_for-a-long-time-i-ve-distinguished-betwe_945165.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. 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I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-sort-of-gave-up-on-this-whole-human-adventure-a-long-time-ago/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86c/george-carlin-155_adventure_i-sort-of-gave-up-on-this-whole-human-ad_78453.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86c/george-carlin-155_adventure_i-sort-of-gave-up-on-this-whole-human-ad_78453.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86c/george-carlin-155_adventure_i-sort-of-gave-up-on-this-whole-human-ad_78453.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a fuck. Like me. I really don't care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bullshit a long time ago. It's meaningless. ”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-figured-out-years-ago-that-the-human-species-is-totally-fucked-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/edc/george-carlin-155_long-time_i-figured-out-years-ago-that-the-human-s_1106768.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/edc/george-carlin-155_long-time_i-figured-out-years-ago-that-the-human-s_1106768.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/edc/george-carlin-155_long-time_i-figured-out-years-ago-that-the-human-s_1106768.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god - that there's a man in the sky with 10 things he doesn't want you to do and you'll burn for a long time if you do them - and private property, which I think is at the core of our failure as a species. That's the source of my indignations, my dissatisfactions, however it comes out on the stage. I feel betrayed by the people I'm part of, these creatures, these magnificent creatures.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-two-big-mistakes-were-the-belief-in-a-sky-god-that-there-s-a-man/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/george-carlin-155_atheism_the-two-big-mistakes-were-the-belief-in_2206982.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/george-carlin-155_atheism_the-two-big-mistakes-were-the-belief-in_2206982.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/george-carlin-155_atheism_the-two-big-mistakes-were-the-belief-in_2206982.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god - that there's a man in the sky with 10 things he doesn't…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. And if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?” Plastic… asshole.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/the-planet-will-be-here-for-a-long-long-long-time-after-we-re-gone/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/george-carlin-155_first-place_the-planet-will-be-here-for-a-long-long_576780.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/george-carlin-155_first-place_the-planet-will-be-here-for-a-long-long_576780.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/george-carlin-155_first-place_the-planet-will-be-here-for-a-long-long_576780.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say \"this guy\", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if there is a God, it has to be a man. No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/something-is-wrong-here-war-disease-death-destruction-hunger-filth/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10d/george-carlin-155_atheism_something-is-wrong-here-war-disease-deat_2884886.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10d/george-carlin-155_atheism_something-is-wrong-here-war-disease-deat_2884886.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/10d/george-carlin-155_atheism_something-is-wrong-here-war-disease-deat_2884886.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails.” And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of f-ing Earth Day. I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is that there aren’t enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They’re worried that some day in the future they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles … hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages … And we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet isn’t going anywhere. WE are! We’re going away. Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away. And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. Maybe a little Styrofoam … The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, ’cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed. And if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice toward plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, “Why are we here?” Plastic… asshole.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Carlin" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/we-re-so-self-important-everybody-s-going-to-save-something-now-save/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/george-carlin-155_comedy_we-re-so-self-important-everybody-s-goin_1686182.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/george-carlin-155_comedy_we-re-so-self-important-everybody-s-goin_1686182.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/george-carlin-155_comedy_we-re-so-self-important-everybody-s-goin_1686182.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the bees, save the…” — George Carlin", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-time/george-carlin/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-time/george-carlin/", "name": "Long time Quotes by George Carlin", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-time/george-carlin/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/46c/george-carlin-155_feels_have-you-noticed-when-you-wear-a-hat-for_2149678.jpg" }, "description": "13 Long time quotes by George Carlin. 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